Right - in order:
The scandal is not about the clan girl; it's her husband who's going to look like an idiot. A Good Clan Girl is one who supports her clan and thus her extended family; she has limited legal rights, but her clan has the duty and to see that she's supported and protected. It's a very secure and relatively comfortable life. The 'Aridani' woman, on the other hand, has all the rights of a man - including having to pay income taxes, which The Good Clan Girl does not. It's a much less secure life, but it does appeal to the adventurer type.
The husband is the one who's in trouble; he's responsible for keeping his wife happy and satisfied. If he's not, the clan matriarchs are going to send him down to the Temple of Avanthe and/or Dlamelish for a refresher course. It's really hard to get a good sex scandal going in the Five Empires - the attitudes to the subject are so much different from our own. Word will get out about this, and the clan ladies all over town will gossip about it for at least a week. Hubby will get some pointed suggestions from his clan-brothers to deal with this and keep the wife happy, but that will be about it.
The kidnapping is Very Serious Stuff, as it's considered a violation of the Great Concordat if it happened outside the Underworld. The clan affected will call in all sorts of favors from everyone they know to find the kid, up to and including using the assassins' clans. They will also try very hard to keep the Imperium from getting involved, as that always means trouble for everyone - once the OAL gets in the door, they tend to want to ask a lot of questions about anything and everything.
Interesting about the body part. Most of the time, people will just laugh and tell the poor man he should have been more careful. I can see how it would turn into an adventure, though, as the guy's clan will want to Have Words with whoever did this...
I agree with you - this is a little too much for 'above ground' life.
Generally, the country bumpkin/immigrant will not get scape-goated - they are not expected to know the fine points of life and such, so unless they've been really stupid or crass they'll get a stern warning about bringing the clan into disrepute by hanging around with naughty people. Otherwise, yes, they tend to be more valuable alive, and yes, who they know is very important!!!
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