I will admit that I am aided and abetted by the Missus in this. Back when she could still walk for more then short distances, she went through the International Marketplace at the Minnesota State Fair, and came home with a huge bag of goodies. She'd gone on the last day of the event, and she was able get stuff at silly discounts as vendors didn't want to pack up all the left-overs; me, I can use little reed boats, assorted bits from Egyptian chess sets, leather dispatch bags, and papyrus documents. All part of the stuff I use to entertain and amaze.
And, he said with an air of quiet pride, it all will see fruition in the project I am now embarking on. I have now some fifty years of model-building, forty years of gaming, and more then a decade of show production and theatrical experience to call upon. Strong men will faint; brave women will tremble; the OSR will develop a rash. My enemies, even unto the uttermost generations yet unborn, will curse even as they are cast into the pits of despair. When Gronan looks upon what what I have wrought, an agonized cry will be summoned forth from the very depths of his soul and rent from every fiber of his being - the ancient cry that, in days of yore, used to resound across the third floor of Coffman Union at meetings of the Conflict Simulation Association and which struck fear into the stout hearts of the gamers there as it announced that I was running another game: "YOOOOUUUU BASTAAAARD!!!" And behold! As this cry echoes across the universe, the very heavens will open, and the Great Gods (in alphabetical order) Dave, Gary, and Phil will speak unto the players and say, "
Your goose is well and truly cooked."
And I - I, in this the moment of my greatest and penultimate triumph - will modestly acknowledge the the fame and ovation of the people, and with a shy and modest smile playing across my lips in the very best Boys' Own Paper tradition of manliness in the face of peril, will turn over the sand glass and speak the incantation that will shake the very foundations of reality and sunder the fabric of Time and Space: "
Roll percentile dice for for Turn One, please."
Yes, it's going to be one of
those games...
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