A Future We'd Like to See 1.50 - Tales of the Sunny City, Act II
By Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne (Copyright 1994)
 
     "Another date?  Jeez, you're out with that guy every day!"
the high pitched voice on the other end of the line laughed.  Her
image fuzzled, ordinary line static.
 
     "God, Julie, how many times do I have to tell you?" I said
into the HoloPhone, tying my sneakers on.  "I'm not dating.  I
just go into town and kill time with him and that pal of his. 
You know that."
 
     "So are you just providing rover transport, or other types
of rides?" she continued.  I hated it when she did this. 
Everybody knew that I wasn't DATING Benton, I was just tagging
along on his little excursions.  They knew it, but insisted to
the otherwise just to annoy me.
 
     Everybody seems to like annoying me.  It's hard being a
precision driving hard coding thrill seeking fun loving High High
funster without drawing some attention, usually of the pestering
kind.  Constant jokes about me and Benton, for instance.
 
     "JUST driving the rover," I reaffirmed.  "Look, Julie, get
over it already.  Now are you going to give me my movie back or
not?  I need it for tonight."
 
     "Alright, alright.  I'll drop it by your house tonight.  I
didn't like it anyway.  I thought the bit where he chased the guy
on a motorcycle with a HORSE was a bit contrived."
 
     "It's parody, what did you expect?" I said, making final
adjustments to my outfit.  I grabbed my driving gloves off the
nightstand and fastened the velcro straps.  "I gotta get moving. 
Just tell mom you're dropping off the film if I'm out."
 
     "Where you going this time?"
 
     "Downtown.  Benton's selling another one of his sculptures
and wants to hit the mall afterwards with Mitch and I."
 
     "Mitch?  Why can't he get that Lindsey to drive him?"
 
     "Ugh.  DON'T remind me about her.  Kept ordering me around,
treating me like a kid, that little... little... URGH!"
 
     "Hey, calm down, Jody."
 
     "I'm calm.  I just don't like holier-than-thou people like
that.  Mitch broke up with her, to answer your question, so I'm
doing my traditional driving duty."
 
     "Okay.  See if they've got that neat pink jumper in the
window of Fabrications, and check the price.  I'm hoping it'll be
on sale soon.  Seeya!"
 
     Julie closed the channel.  I grumbled.  I hate going into
Fabrications, the salesmen keep trying to get me to buy the
latest trendy cloth sewn in interesting patterns.  I didn't give
much truck with Julie's endless quest for clothing.  What's the
point, if you have to wear a school uniform?
 
     Now, accents I can buy.  Every student modifies the standard
dress-or-workshirt in one way or another... Benton's got his
jacket, Mitch his HAVE A NICE DAY button, me my gloves and
running shoes.  That I can handle; total outfit purchases are
just silly.
 
     However, I didn't have enough time to lollygag around the
house.  Mitch and Benton would very likely be waiting for me.  I
carefully climbed out the window and slid down one of Benton's
prized invisible cables, landing me right in the rover's driver
seat.
 
     I LOVE my rover.  I have two babies in my life, my rover and
my palmtop computer.  The rover's a latest model Y'uipp Traffic
Smasher, painted candy apple red with more chrome than is legally
allowed.  It has a braking system capable of going form sixty to
zero in one second and vice versa.  It can go 90 MPH... on two
wheels.  210 on four.
 
     The palmtop is a sleek Macroware palmtop jobbie, a
featureless black lump of plastic with a case for as many
wiretaps you need.  Capable of handling multi-phasic viewing to
allow for VOS work as well as sight in reality.  Stores more than
you could possibly want to put in it, and has a no-cable link to
both VOSNet and UberNet.
 
     Both go VERY.  VERY.  FAST.
 
     I keyed in the transmission sequence and put my rover in
reverse, screaming out of the driveway and onto the suburban
asphalt.
 
     I haven't had an accident in a LONG, long time.  Well, there
was the time I wiped out Benton's mailbox... and most of his
garage.  That's when I first met him actually.  We yelled at each
other at first and agreed to go somewhere and have lunch while
discussing the insurance settlement.  After that, things mellowed
out and we figured it was better to be bored together than be
bored alone.  He introduced me to Mitch, we started pulling gags,
patterns settled in.  No big whoop.
 
     Art auctions were also no big whoop, at least according to
Benton.
 
                              *
 
     I've only been to a few art auctions.  Actually, Benton
hasn't been to many, either; he avoids them if at all possible. 
But the gallery insists that the artist be present when a piece
is sold, so he has to sit around chatting with Gallery patrons
for at least two hours.  Clearly his least favorite activity in
life.
 
     "Have they sold it yet?" Benton asked, slurping down another
cup of complimentary punch.  "I wanna get this over with and get
down to the mall."
 
     "Come on, Benton, surely you must be interested in the money
you're making," Mitch insisted, swirling his punch around. 
"Let's face it, 'Balancing Act' is one of your better pieces.  It
should rake in quite a bit."
 
     I had to admit, I liked it myself.  I always liked Benton's
work, of course... he knew how to put simple things together in a
moving way, whether he liked it or not.  Here he had managed to
take some simple household implements and a yard of his
monofilament to balance them in a way that suggested man's
inability to control his own fate without an understanding of his
soul.  (Okay, so that sounds ridiculous in print.  You had to see
it yourself, I guess.)
 
     "What, that?  Come on, I just took a few simple household
implements and a yard of my monofilament to balance them in a
neato pattern.  I certainly wouldn't pay... HOLY BEJEEZUS!"
 
     Benton dropped his punch cup, gaping at the tollboard which
had Item #42 ("Balancing Act" by Benton Hunt) at fifty thousand
credits and climbing.
 
     Benton paused a minute.  I wondered if he'd break down and
say he realized the power of the piece.  Not likely.
 
     "You're right, Mitch.  People are gullible saps.  Whatever. 
Let's get in the car and go."
 
     "But you haven't collected the money yet," I reminded him.
 
     "Big deal.  So I get more zeroes on my allowance.  Let's get
out of here."
 
                              *
 
     We had a pattern for mallgoing.  The mall was set out in a
perfect pattern; if you skipped every five stores, you'd hit our
favorite eating establishment, a store I was interested in, one
Mitch was interested in, one Benton was interested in, and a
loosened access panel that would let us reprogram the elevator
music they normally pumped in here.
 
     We had to park on the south side of the mall this time,
presenting us with the access panel first.  So we ended up
skipping along to Benton's favorite shop while Generic Evil
Sounding Band screamed away over the loudspeakers.
 
     "Man, I can see the shoppers having a fit over this one,"
Mitch smirked.  "Not often you get to peruse apparel and sporting
goods while the speakers tell you to braise your housepets for
Satan."
 
     "I still say pan flute music, bass turned down and treble up
would have been worse," I grumbled.  Mitch always got his way
when we were picking tricks to play on the mall.
 
     "Whoa.  Target at two o'clock and gaining," Mitch said,
craning his neck to see over the crowd.  "Isn't that Shelly,
leader of the debate club?"
 
     I peered over the heads of the shoppers.  "Yeah, I think."
 
     Mitch slipped into The Grin.  The Grin is the grin of his
Mr. Romantic mode, homing in on potential date material.  I had
seen the grin plenty of times; usually it meant Mitch wouldn't be
needing a ride home with us that day, unless he was especially
corny and the girl dumped him there and then instead of two days
later.
 
     "I'd love to argue the finer points of government control
and AI rights with her," Mitch lied.  "I'll be right back, guys. 
Don't wait up."
 
     Mitch slithered into the crowd, blending in and phasing out
of sight.
 
     "I claim the front seat," Benton confirmed.  "Ah!  We're
here.  Coming in?"
 
     "Naah," I said.  "I've already got enough reading material. 
I need a seat anyway.  I'll be here when you come out."
 
     Benton nodded, and ducked inside his favorite store...
'Strange Books, Ltd.'  Science fiction and whatnot.  Just not my
taste, I guess.  Some of the guys in there are too creepy for me
to handle, anyway.
 
     I caught a quick glimpse of Mitch in deep conversation with
Shelly somewhere across the hall.  He still had The Grin on.
 
     You know, one thing I never got was why I never got The Grin
aimed at me.  I'm not complaining, mind you -- Mitch is a serious
slimeball -- but as of yet I've never seen him turn down the
opportunity to chat up some unsuspecting female.  I caught a
vague hint of The Grin the first time Benton introduced me to
him, but then that smile switched to a look of mild terror.  He's
calmed down since, but still, no grin.  I'd like to think he
avoids grinning at me because he respects me as an equal, but
see, that's just NOT Mitch.
 
     "Got it!" Benton hollered, waving around the book.  "I knew
they'd have it."
 
     "Eh?" I asked, snapping out of my introspective moment. 
"What?"
 
     "This!" he said, waving the multicolored book at me.  "It's
this great fantasy novel about this island and these dragons and
this one who can do strange and horrible things with a simple
mop.  Funny stuff."
 
     He pocketed the novel in his jacket.  I stood up to walk
over to our next destination.
 
     "Mitch still gone?"
 
     "Yeah."
 
     "Well, he'll be back to normal in a day or two.  Good thing
too, I got this great idea about rocket-powered mops..."
 
     Benton explained the idea to me as we weaved in and out of
the shoppers.  A typical gag.  I wasn't particularly interested,
though... I only was big on the gags we did that involved getting
away at high speeds or breaking into systems at high speeds. 
They could handle anything else themselves.
 
     Two things happened at once about then.
 
     First, Mitch wandered back over to us.  Second, Benton's
jacket rang.
 
     "Hi, guys.  Man, she'll never know what she's missing,
passing me over like that.  Hey, Benton, your coat's ringing."
 
     "Hmm?" Benton asked, momentarily surprised.  "Oh.  Incoming
call.  One sec."
 
     Benton pulled out his tiny audio-only phone, and unscrewed
the antenna.
 
     "Benton here.  Andy?  What?  Ah, cripes... yeah, yeah, I can
fix it.  I'll be by later today, I'm bus... yes, I KNOW they paid
fifty G for it... okay, okay!  I'll be at the east end of the
mall.  Goodbye."
 
     "Trouble?" I asked, as he pocketed the phone.
 
     "Yeah, trouble.  One of the monofilaments on that absurdly
overpriced thing untied itself.  Happens all the time... they
need me to go repair it, but don't wanna wait, so he has a
personal shuttle flying over right now to pick me up.  You guys
have fun, I'll see you tomorrow."
 
     "What?" Mitch asked.  "You're leaving?"
 
     "That's what 'personal shuttle flying over right now to pick
me up' usually means, Mitch.  Don't worry, Jody'll get you home."
 
     "But..."
 
     "See yah," he waved, pushing his way eastward into the
crowds.
 
     "But..." Mitch continued, as if the other end of the
conversation hadn't left.
 
     "Hey, snap out of it," I said.  "What's wrong?"
 
     "Nothing, nothing," Mitch said, regaining his stability. 
"Look, it's getting late.  I've got a meeting with a patient
later this afternoon, so maybe I ought to just hail a cab home. 
You go shop."
 
     "I'm not actually looking for anything," I noted.  "Just
providing you two with transport.  I can drive you back."
 
     "No, really, I wouldn't want to be a burden--"
 
     "Mitch, I've schlepped you two all over the area hundreds of
times.  If it was a burden I would ditched you guys long ago. 
Come on, we're parked at the south end.  Let's get going."
 
     I grabbed Mitch by the wrist and pulled him along, pushing
my way through the crowd.
 
     "Hey!  Go slower!" Mitch pleaded.  "No need to disturb any
of the other shoppers."
 
     "I thought you had an appointment?"
 
     "Well, yeah, but he's working on a commitment problem.  He
probably won't decide to show until two hours after his scheduled
time anyway."
 
     "Alright, we'll walk slow," I said, hating the concept.  I
didn't do ANYTHING slow.  "Say, isn't that Julie over there?  I
thought she couldn't really go out today..."
 
     Mitch ducked and I stood on my toes to see over the crowd.
 
     "Don't get her attention!" Mitch hissed.
 
     "Why not?  She's my friend, I want to say hello.  Julie! 
Over here!"
 
     Julie noticed me, and waved wildly.  She slipped between a
few travelling families and walked over to greet us.  Had the
pink jumper she wanted, too.
 
     "Hi!" she waved.  "Figured I just couldn't wait for a sale,
so I'd head down here today and grab that jumper... oh, hi down
there!  That's Mitch, right?  Benton's pal?"
 
     "Yeah.  Mitch, this is Julie.  She's in my calculus class."
 
     "Er, Hi," Mitch said, standing up to shake (not kiss) her
hand.  No Grin.  Odd.
 
     "Where's Benton?" Julie asked.  "You were supposed to have a
date today, right?"
 
     "It wasn't a date.  And he had to leave," I added.
 
     "Weren't you giving him a ride?"
 
     "Well, there was a little problem, and he left," I
summarized.  "So I'm just here with Mitch.  We were just on our
way back to his place for an appointment."
 
     "Ooooohhhhhhh!" Julie said, winking.  "I see!  Poor Benton
though.  I wouldn't want to get in the way of you and Mitch's
little rond-eh-voo, though, so I'll just skedaddle.  Good luck!"
 
     "But--" Mitch and I both said.
 
     "Bye!  Mwah!" Julie, waved, blowing a quick kiss and ducking
back into the crowd.
 
     "Yeesh, the NERVE of her," I commented aloud.  "I swear,
that girl jumps to way too many conclusions.  Well, let's get
moving... Mitch...?"
 
     I looked around, but he was gone.
 
                                   *
 
     I found him crawling towards a side alley emergency exit two
minutes later.
 
     "Problem?" I asked, towering over him in a not too
terrifying way.
 
     "YAAAH!  I mean, no, no problem, no problem at all.  I was
thinking, really, you get better gas mileage if you don't have
any passengers, so maybe I should just--"
 
     Mitch hopped back to his feet and tried to push by me.  I
blocked him with an arm.  He tried the other side, so I used the
other arm, cutting him off from exit.
 
     "Spare me," I said.  "You've been acting bizarre ever since
Benton had to go fix his art project.  Care to explain why?"
 
     "No!  Really!  No problem!  I--"
 
     "EXPLAIN," I said, pinning him to one of the walls.  I
didn't like being sneaked around, kept in the dark about
ANYTHING.  It's too damn disrespectful, and Mitch was certainly
dissing me at this point.
 
     "Quit it!  Someone might see!" he said, trying to hide his
face from the crowds.
 
     "So?"
 
     "So if anybody gets word out that I was alone with Bentons'
girl, Benton'll hear and beat the snot out of me.  Or you will. 
Either way, I lose snot."
 
     I blinked.  "What?"
 
     "Well, everybody knows you two are dating--"
 
     "WE ARE NOT DATING!" I yelled at him.
 
     "Eeep!"
 
     "God, Mitch, get a grip on yourself."
 
     "Sorry.  You just frightened me there, that's all."
 
     "You know, I was always wondering why you never bothered
turning The Grin on me.  Is this why?"
 
     "The What?"
 
     "Nevermind.  This why you never tried to chat me up?"
 
     "Well... yeah.  I mean, you're not bad looking or anything,
but I didn't want to hurt my friend's feelings or get myself
pounded in the process, so I figured I'd just play it cool around
his girlfriend and--"
 
     "Good lord!  Mitch, for a psychologist, you sure are
unobservant.  Have you EVER seen any romantic type behavior
between us before?"
 
     "Well... no."
 
     "Good.  Infer from that; we're not dating.  Benton's just
this guy.  You can relax, neither of us are going to kill you. 
Where'd you get a silly idea like that, anyway?"
 
     "Jody, come on, everybody knows how violent you can get when
provoked," Mitch laughed.
 
     "I am NOT VIOLENT," I growled in his face, pinning him
against the wall.  "I just don't take kindly to people who don't
take kindly to me, that's all.  Now I'm driving you home whether
you like it or not.  Screw the rumor mill."
 
     Mitch mumbled a protest, so I simply grabbed a wrist and
dragged him down to the parking lot.
 
                              *
 
     My car pulled outside his house at 3 PM sharp.
 
     "There, you're home," I said, throwing the rover into park. 
"Out."
 
     "Err... sorry about the mixup," he said.  "No hard
feelings?"
 
     "You're still a twit, but no more twitty than when I first
met you," I smiled at him.  "Go on in.  I'm sure we'll be off on
a gag tomorrow.  I'll have Benton call you with the details, he
said something about a rocket-mop."
 
     "Okay," Mitch nodded, calming down.  He turned to walk into
the house, then paused.  "Say.  Thought occurs.  Since according
to you you're not really seeing anyone, any chance you and I c--"
 
     "No."
 
     "I can deal with that," Mitch quickly said.  "See you
tomorrow."
 
     I blew a sign of relief as he wandered into his suburban
home.  Man, what a mix-up.  I'd have to try harder next year to
quell the rumor mill, this was just getting RIDICULOUS.  I mean,
they even had MITCH fooled, the man who can cut through a mind
and into the truth in five seconds flat.
 
     Well, social situations are just funny that way, I figured. 
I slipped a Bonnie Rait CD2 into the rover's sound system and
made tracks for home.
 
                              *
 
     "And get this," I laughed, stirring my yogurt up while
talking into the holophone.  "He was all edgy because he thought
we were DATING, and if he was seen alone with me you'd find out
and smash his face in."
 
     Benton's image laughed.  "Man, I wish I was there to see
that.  Irony like that is what I live for.  Still, dating... har. 
People will imagine up the stupidest things to keep their minds
off their own lives."
 
     "Yeah, tell me about it.  Dating.  Pure silliness.  Hey,
want to go out for some dinner?  All I've managed to grab is some
yogurt."
 
     "Sounds fine here," Benton said.  "You driving?"
 
     "As usual."
 
     "Fast food or sit down meals?"
 
     "Sit down.  We could use some actual nutrition.  Italian
would be nice."
 
     "Alright.  Show up anytime," Benton said, closing the
connection.  I quickly changed into my cleanest, best dress and
swung out to the car, slipping into gear and putting the hammer
down.
 
     Killing time, that's all.  When you've got nothing to do,
it's more fun to do your nothing with someone else.