Outcast
Book Two of the Guardians’ League
  Amelia Elias
 
Dedication
To my beautiful sons, my reason for everything. I love you.
Chapter One
The night was alive with the promise of battle.
Eli’s eyes narrowed as he chased the last of the Outcast band he’d been following for days down the deserted street and into an alley. Bad move, he thought as the remaining pair of vampires disappeared into the darkness between two tall government buildings. Apparently they didn’t know that this alley went nowhere. Bad for you, good for me.
This blind alley meant cover for him to slay them and no route of escape from his relentless blades.
He’d forgotten about the underground parking garage. He cursed and put on a burst of speed, chasing his enemies down the ramp. It would be too easy to lose them amidst the cars. He was tired of the chase and ready for the kill.
He caught sight of one Outcast whipping around a corner and pursued as he drew one of his swords from its hidden sheath beneath his long coat. When he sprinted around the corner, Eli skidded to a stop in surprise. They’d led him straight into a trap.
How clever of them to try to outnumber him.
Instead of the pair of Outcasts he’d been chasing, he now faced five of the blood-thirsty villains. All stood ready for battle at the back of the parking garage. The area around them was clear but for one red car parked near the door to the fire stairs. 
“Come to play, Slayer?” an Outcast asked smugly.
Eli swung his sword in a wide arc around his body and let a wicked grin spread across his face. This might have posed a problem for anyone else, but it would take much more than five against one to outnumber Eli. “Who’s first?” he asked tauntingly.
Five Outcasts would be a nice warm-up for the evening to come.
Three charged him at once and he engaged them in a flurry of shining steel. Oh, he could have disabled them with bullets and finished them off when they were all lying on the ground as some Slayers preferred, but it had been too long since he’d had a real challenge in a battle.
Yes, he was going to enjoy this.
But as he cut down the first snarling vampire, the situation suddenly went straight to hell. The heavy door to the fire stairs swung open to reveal a young woman digging in her purse for her keys. Her dark hair covered her face, preventing her from seeing the danger in her path. 
“Get out of here!” Eli shouted as she approached, clearly intending to head for the red car. 
Her head jerked up at his shout and she froze at the sight of the tall warrior crossing swords with two snarling Outcasts. 
“Run!” Eli yelled again. 
The last thing he needed was a mortal in the middle of this, dividing his attention.
His warning cry had the unwanted side effect of alerting the other two Outcasts to the woman standing frozen by the sight of the battle. Eli snarled out a curse as they converged on her before she could do more than gasp in shock. 
“We’ll just have a snack while you play with Franz and Pietr,” one laughed, dragging the woman away from the fire stairs by her hair. She screamed and fought fiercely, earning a vicious punch to the face. Even dazed, she still struggled and clawed at her captor, but he didn’t even seem to notice. “You don’t mind, do you, Slayer?”
“Leave the woman out of this,” Eli demanded. “Fight me like a man, damn you.”
“But I’m not a man,” the Outcast sneered, laughing at the woman’s terror. “And neither are you.”
Eli ground his teeth but wasn’t surprised. There had been a time when taking a hostage would have been unthinkable, but the concept of honor in battle had died long ago. Now it was the law of the jungle, survival of the meanest, and it was time to stop playing with his prey and get serious. He whipped out his second sword and attacked with single-minded intensity. The woman’s screams were suddenly cut off and he knew the Outcast had bitten her. 
“Save some for me, Caen,” his partner laughed, and Eli’s rage rose to dangerous heights.
Franz and Pietr fell before his furious onslaught and Eli turned to take out the other two before they damaged this mortal beyond saving. The one who had taunted him, Caen, was crouched beside the red car, fangs sunk deeply into the woman’s throat as she still fought weakly, and the second charged Eli with his sword flying.
It was a futile gesture. Even with his lightning reflexes and exceptional skill with his weapons, the Outcast was no match for Eli. No one was. 
“Release her now and I will make your death quick,” Eli growled at the Outcast still feeding from the woman as he drove his opponent back mercilessly.
Caen lifted his head and grinned, showing blood-stained fangs. “You object to me taking her blood?” he asked with mock-chagrin. “Well, perhaps you’re right.” He paused, pretending to give the matter serious thought. “I know what to do, Slayer. I’ll give it back!” Then he lifted his own wrist to his mouth and bit. He pressed his bleeding wrist to the woman’s mouth, forcing his own blood down her throat, completely ignoring Eli’s outraged roar. 
Eli saw red. He slashed brutally at the Outcast he fought, cutting him down, and leapt toward the pair crouched beside the car. He had to stop this travesty before the woman swallowed out of reflex.
It was the worst brutality a human could suffer and live, to be turned against her will.
It was already too late before he could intervene. Caen shoved the choking, gasping woman at Eli and sprinted out of sight, laughing madly as he disappeared.
Eli barely caught her as she stumbled toward him. She fainted in his arms and he cursed in frustration at the situation the Outcast had thrust them into. Outcasts rarely turned mortals because they had no use for fledglings and no patience at all for teaching them what they needed to know to live in their new world. 
And no Slayer would abandon a mortal in need. The Guardians’ League and their Slayers were dedicated to protecting the world from Outcasts. Eli couldn’t leave the poor woman here to bleed to death on the filthy pavement, and the Outcast knew it. It had been a clever and cruel move made solely to save Caen’s own life.
He swore again as he looked down at the unfortunate woman and healed the wound on her throat. She wasn’t a fledgling yet, and unless he found someone to help her, the transition into her new life would be horrible.
As much as he hated to let the Outcast go, he couldn’t take up his pursuit again until he’d seen to her safety.
“This isn’t over,” he swore into the night, despising the cowardly Outcast who had stolen this woman’s mortal life as thoughtlessly as he’d squash a bug. “You have earned yourself a death of such pain it would curdle your blood to imagine it.”
He sighed and looked down at the limp woman in his arms. There was nothing to be done for it. He would have to take her somewhere safe and find someone to both ease her through the Change and teach her the rudiments of what a vampire needed to know to survive.
Only then could he take up the hunt again and exact revenge on Caen for this.
 
* * *
 
Eli stood in the foyer to Diego’s palatial home an hour later with the unfortunate woman in his arms. Frustration threatened to choke him. “What do you mean, no?” he asked in a dark and deadly voice.
Diego didn’t flinch from his tone or his furious glare. “What do you think I mean? I can’t believe you’d even ask me to take in a fledgling sired by an Outcast. No, Eli. Blood tells. I will not invite the enemy into my refuge, nor teach an Outcast’s spawn how to survive. What are you thinking? Kill her now and save some Slayer the trouble later!”
“She is an innocent bystander, not an enemy,” Eli said with a patience he did not feel. “He did this to distract me and buy his escape, not because she desired the life of an Outcast. She needs your help, not your condemnation.”
Diego shook his head again and stepped back. “I will not take the responsibility of a sire for her. I’m a Slayer, not a nursemaid, Eli. Find someone else, someone not in the League.”
“It has to be someone in the League.” 
Diego’s eyes narrowed. “Why, just in case she does turn out to have Outcast tendencies?” he asked. When Eli didn’t deny it, he took another step back. “No, Eli, I won’t do it,” he repeated. “You’re asking me to play sire to a fledgling not mine and still be ready to slay her if it becomes necessary. I’m not that cold-blooded, damn it. Take her to Ronin or take her yourself it you won’t end it now.”
Eli opened his mouth for an angry retort, but the woman in his arms suddenly shuddered and moaned. “The Change is starting,” he said as her pain echoed though his mind. “She needs help, Diego.”
Diego rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Look, it’s going to be dawn soon,” he said in a quieter voice, relenting a little as Eli had known he would. “You don’t have time to get back to your place. I’ll let her stay here through the Change, all right? You can take her into the north wing, it’s empty. But that’s all I’m doing, Eli,” he warned. “You help her through the Change now and decide what to do with her tomorrow. She’s not staying here.”
Eli bit back a furious reply. “Fine.” Damn Diego for his stubborn attitude. Even when offering her sanctuary he still refused to have anything to do with her. Asking again would be pointless. Diego wasn’t going to take her in despite his offer of temporary refuge.
And Diego’s suggestion to find someone else was out of the question. There were only three members of the Guardians’ League in the city besides himself—Diego, his mate, Sian, and Ronin. Eli had long ago vowed never to sire a fledgling again and there was no way in hell he would even contemplate giving one to Ronin—the man was completely uncontrollable. If Eli did take her there, when Ronin found out the truth of her heritage he’d kill her without batting an eyelash even if she hadn’t done anything to merit it. They all despised Outcasts, but Ronin hated them with a passion that bordered on obsession.
Eli couldn’t chance that. Too many innocents had already died because of him. He wouldn’t add this woman to their number.
Diego was the best vampire for this job. Calm and implacable, he thought everything through and rarely lost his temper. He was the perfect one to teach the fledgling about her new world and deal with whatever temper fits or grief she threw his way when she found out what had been done to her. Sian was both sympathetic enough to comfort the fledgling and strong enough to protect herself should this woman show signs of going Outcast, and their mortal Steward, James, was dependable and totally loyal. It had been the ideal solution.
Until Diego had thrown a wrench in the plans by balking.
Eli carried the woman into the north wing without another word, his mind whirling. There simply was no one else. Diego had to do it.
But Eli wouldn’t command him to take her even if he hadn’t already given up his place on the League’s governing council. He’d forced too much on Diego already. Eli knew far too well the responsibilities of a sire weren’t to be taken lightly. It was a task which should be assumed willingly or not at all.
Eli kicked open a bedroom door as the woman moaned again, shuddering against him. He laid her gently on the bed and turned the lamp on to its dimmest setting. She curled into a ball as soon as he released her, groaning in pain. He rested a hand on her forehead and sent a thread of power through her to track the transformation within her, to find the worst of the pain and ease it as much as possible. 
“What’s happening to me?” she whispered when he touched her.
Eli paused, surprised. He hadn’t expected her to regain consciousness until after the Change was completed, much less be lucid enough to ask any questions. It was too bad. It would’ve been far easier on her if she’d remained unconscious. 
It wasn’t easy to become a vampire.
“Do you remember what happened to you tonight, little one?” he asked softly, knowing all her senses would be hypersensitive right now. She winced at the sound despite his care. 
She started to nod but stopped at once. Eli felt the burst of pain in her head through his connection with her and moved to soften the sharp edge of it. “I—someone bit me,” she breathed.
“Yes,” he murmured. She went still for a second and he had the brief hope she’d fainted.
She hadn’t. She shuddered, not speaking for a long moment as her body shook. When she did, she managed only a single word on a harsh gasp of pain. “Rabies?”
“No, not rabies.” He didn’t know if it was wise to tell her this right now, but if it had been him, he would have wanted to know from the start rather than find out later. “You were bitten by a vampire, little one. You’re going through the Change now. When it’s over, you will be a vampire, too.”
She moaned and writhed on the bed as another cramp tore through her. “That—that’s ridiculous,” she gasped through the pain. 
He placed his other hand carefully on her abdomen and let a soothing wave of energy seep through her. It had been a long time since he’d helped anyone through the Change and he hated himself for not anticipating the spasm. He sent his senses traveling through her, hoping he wouldn’t be surprised again. “I’m sorry,” he said, meaning it. “It’s the truth.” 
“No!”
He hardly heard her as his eyes narrowed with bitter anger at the information his gentle exploration revealed. His job had suddenly gotten far more complicated than simply easing her pain. The Outcast hadn’t given her nearly enough blood for this, and there was no way in hell Eli could give her his own to make up the deficit. He refused to violate the oath he’d made to himself countless years ago, and besides, even he didn’t know what adding his blood into the mix at this point in her transition would do to her. No, he would have to use all his powers to help her survive the Change and hope it was enough. 
She went rigid with another wave of agony as her body fought a deadly battle within itself, her human physiology fighting the vampire’s blood within her. If the Outcast had given her enough blood, it would have simply overrun her body’s defenses. As things stood now Eli wasn’t sure which side would win out in the end. He hardly knew what to hope for.
If the vampire’s blood prevailed, she would be reborn as a fledgling when this passed, an unwanted newborn in a strange new world. But if her body’s defenses triumphed…
She would die in terrible pain, but the eternal darkness of vampire kind would not have been forced on her, unchosen.
He didn’t know which fate she would have chosen for herself. “You’re going to have a rough time, little one,” he whispered regretfully as fury at the selfish Outcast boiled within him. “I’m sorry for that. I will help you all I can. Rest, and don’t try to talk. You need to save your strength.”
“Renee,” she gasped at last when the pain waned a little again.
He waited for her to go on. When she didn’t, he leaned closer. “What did you say, little one?”
She hissed in a breath between her teeth. “Not—little one. Renee.”
He stroked her ebony hair back from her bruised forehead and wished he dared send her into the deep, almost lifeless sleep of the vampires. It would be far easier on her, but she was balanced on a knife edge between life and death and he wouldn’t do anything to upset the balance. 
“I am Eli,” he whispered, feeling the agony in her skull rising toward the shattering point. “Now please, try to relax and let this happen. Don’t resist, it will only make the pain worse. If you feel me moving through you, don’t try to fight me. I’m here to help you.”
She didn’t speak again. He wasn’t sure she could have. The pain came in strengthening waves with hardly a break between them to let her take a breath. Eli closed his eyes, one hand on her forehead and the other on her abdomen, and shook as he took as much of the pain from her as he could. It was agony like he’d never experienced, and even so, he knew he did little more than dull the edges of it for her. He poured every ounce of his great strength into her, hoping to help her make it through this.
As morning dawned and moved toward noon, he despaired. Her body’s struggles went on unabated, even though the sun was high and she should have been rendered unconscious by it. To make matters worse, he was tiring. Doubts tormented him. Would it have been more merciful to kill her before the Change, as Diego had coolly suggested, and spare her this? If her body’s violent attempts to reject the Change didn’t kill her, the torment alone might drive her insane. He’d never heard of any transition this agonizingly painful, nor any lasting this long. 
He cursed himself for his inability to give her his own blood and ease the transition, and he didn’t dare ask Diego for help. The man had made his position clear. 
Finally she went limp and still as the afternoon darkened outside. Eli withdrew from her side and collapsed into the armchair beside the bed, completely exhausted. Renee had survived, though just barely.
But the Change was over at last. She was a vampire now.
Eli hoped she wouldn’t hate them all for it.
 
* * *
 
Renee woke slowly, her entire body aching. 
What the hell had happened to her last night? She felt like she’d been hit by a Mack truck, but the last thing she remembered was going downstairs into the parking garage last night after finally finishing up with work.
She opened her eyes and immediately shut them again, gasping. Colors assaulted her with a vibrancy she’d never before imagined and her head hurt so badly, even looking at them was agony. A moment later she gathered her courage to look again. Such incredible illusion couldn’t possibly have been real. 
It wasn’t a dream. Every color was awesomely beautiful and intense. All her life she’d worn glasses, but now her vision was perfectly sharp and clear. The individual shadows beneath the miniscule bumps on the textured walls were distinct, even from all the way across the room. It was beyond weird, it was impossible. She shook her head to clear it and had to bite back a groan at the wave of pain the movement caused. 
When she opened her eyes again, she still had vision which would rival an eagle’s. Everything in the room was vivid, sharp and bright. She felt like Dorothy when she’d been snatched out of black-and-white Kansas and dropped into Technicolor Oz. She’d never seen anything like it. The soothing sage green walls were the most lovely shade she’d ever seen and the cloud-colored curtains hanging over the windows looked soft and light enough to float away into the sky. Even the pale gray of the comforter tucked around her was so beautiful it almost hurt to look at it, and if she tried, she could check the thread count of the matching sheets without even straining her eyes.
But Renee couldn’t relax to take in the glory of her surroundings. Panic lurked just under the surface. Gorgeous as it was, something about this room made her want to run in terror. She had never been here before in her life, she hurt all over, and deep inside she was certain something horrible had happened to her in here.
She sat up and whimpered as the movement triggered a wave of agony which started in her abdomen and burned outward all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes. Her head felt like it was trying to split in two. She fought her way through the agony and forced herself to stand. Clinging to the bedpost for a moment, struggling against a fierce surge of nausea, she grimly forced herself not to pass out before slowly making her painful way to the window.
Maybe if she looked out, she’d remember where she was and how she’d gotten here.
Just as her fingers touched the curtains, a large hand suddenly closed over her wrist and pulled her gently but firmly away. “Don’t do that,” a deep male voice advised softly. “It’s almost sunset. Wait a while.”
“You’re going to have a rough time, little one…” 
Renee gasped at the remembered words and spun around, forgetting her weakness in her panic to get away. His voice triggered an echo of a nightmare she barely remembered, full of pain and fear and blood. Her trembling knees gave out and Renee fell backward.
An arm encircled her waist and pulled her upright before she could crash back into the window. She tried to jerk away, but there was no escape from it. The grip wasn’t painful or even uncomfortable, but she had no doubt any further struggles would be just as fruitless. 
“Easy,” the stranger murmured. “Easy, little one. You’re still weak.”
But Renee was in no way inclined to take it easy, not when she was scared and lost and suddenly being held by the most intimidating man she’d ever seen. Her aching eyes widened as she looked up at him. 
Way up.
Her first coherent thought was, no wonder he called her little one! The man was tall, insanely tall, well over six and a half feet. His broad shoulders completely blocked her view of the room behind him. He looked down at her with eyes so dark they were almost black and she was struck by the contrast of them with his hair, which was such a bright silver it hurt her sensitive eyes to look at it. Despite his incredibly pale hair, his golden tan brought to mind long days spent lazing in the sun. 
Still, nothing about him suggested laziness. His lean, muscular body seemed perpetually poised for action, and despite his gentle support, a sense of deep power radiated from him like heat from a blazing fire. She didn’t know how any man could be handsome when everything about him was contradictory, but this one was. He was so gorgeous it was difficult to look directly at him. 
She had never seen anyone even remotely like this man. He seemed more…alive, more intensely real than any person she’d ever met in her life. There were no words adequate to describe it. How, exactly, was she supposed to “take it easy” when confronted with someone like this?
“What are you?” she whispered.
He smiled as he drew her gently away from the curtains. “I’m a vampire,” he said, as though it was as ordinary a response as saying he was an accountant—but she was an accountant, and they sure as hell didn’t make accountants who looked like this. “As are you.”
Renee shuddered. Hearing him say he was a vampire was almost believable when added to the total package, but her? “You’re crazy,” she said without thinking, shoving at his shoulder. “Let me go!”
He ignored her struggles and led her slowly away from the windows. “You’d only fall if I did,” he said reasonably, and Renee hated him for being right. Her legs felt like twin pillars of Jell-O. She clenched her jaw stubbornly but let him support her.
As though she had a choice.
He didn’t speak again until he’d guided her back to the bed and eased her down onto it. She stubbornly refused to lie down, though, perching instead on the edge and glaring at him with eyes which felt gritty and bloodshot. 
“You should rest,” the stranger told her with a concerned little frown. “You must be exhausted.”
“Not hardly,” Renee lied. “Who are you? Where am I? What happened?”
Eli crossed his arms over his chest and took a step back, giving her the space she obviously needed. He looked at her swollen eyes and pale, delicate face with aching sympathy. The poor woman looked like death warmed over. Never had he seen a fledgling come out of the Change looking worse. Even though he felt her pain and weariness, sheer stubbornness kept her back ramrod straight and her head high. The strength it took to deny her fatigue was admirable. 
He just wished she would use it on her recovery. “I am Eli,” he told her softly, trying to soothe her. She was such a little thing to withstand the misery she’d endured during the Change, a slender scrap of a woman who made him feel even more like a giant as he loomed over her. Still, he didn’t want to frighten her by sitting on the bed beside her to reduce the discrepancy in their heights. He didn’t doubt she’d try to run if he did, and he needed her to save her energy. “This is a safe place. No one will harm you here.”
But she’d gone white, his name obviously provoking some fraction of a memory of last night’s brutal Change. When she looked at him with fear in her eyes, Eli dropped his hands to his sides, trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. It wasn’t something he was good at, but he did try. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re safe here,” he repeated. 
“It was you,” she whispered, her red eyes wide. “It was you last night.”
Eli nodded, stifling a sigh. He’d hoped she would at least be spared the memory of her brutal Change. “Yes.”
She moved so fast it was a blur. One instant she was sitting on the bed, drooping with exhaustion, and the next she was standing right in front of him as she slapped him across the face with all her newfound strength.
The sharp crack of her open palm connecting with his cheek was very loud in the quiet room. He turned his head with the blow, not blocking it though he easily could’ve, though he’d allowed no one to lay a hand on him in longer than he cared to remember. There was really no point in stopping her. Nothing she could do to him would truly harm him. Eli did catch her hand when she tried to do it again, however, holding her wrist gently in a loose grip which was nonetheless impossible to break. 
It was good for her to use her new vampire strength and ultra-fast reflexes and become accustomed to them, but it was also good for her to know who was in charge. “Mind telling me what that was for?” he asked mildly.
The rage in her eyes could’ve etched diamonds. “You bit me! You probably gave me rabies. What the hell did you bite me for?”
Her accusation stunned him far more than her slap. She thought he would attack her and callously steal her life? Eli opened his mouth to correct her, but the words died in his throat.
If he didn’t claim her, no one would.
He couldn’t turn her out with nowhere to go. She had no Clan to turn to, no sire to claim and protect her, and no knowledge of her new world. She was far more vulnerable now as a fledgling than she had ever been as a human. Sian and Diego wouldn’t take her in, and Ronin was completely out of the question. None of the other vampires in the area were trained in battle and he wouldn’t put them at risk.
That left only him.
Eli hardly dared take her himself. He had more than enough experience with fledglings to know he was the last complication she needed. He’d learned the hard way he was hardly fit to be anyone’s sire. She already had one strike against her and there was no need to make it two.
Not to mention he was much happier when left alone.
Eli sighed and pushed aside the shadows of the bitter past, trying to think of another solution. There simply wasn’t one. She was the child of an Outcast, and therefore she had to taken in by a member of the League. There was simply no one else. He supposed he was better than nothing. Besides, he had little doubt she’d be gone from his life at the very first opportunity. 
There was only one thing to do. “Yes, I bit you,” he agreed, the lie tasting strange in his mouth. Lies were more trouble than they were worth and this was the first he’d uttered in he knew not how long. “I am your sire. I’ll teach you everything you need to know—” He easily caught her other hand as it swung at his face, this time clenched into a fist. “Starting with some simple courtesy. Fledglings don’t usually take their tempers out on their sires.”
“You can take your lessons and your vampire nonsense and shove them,” Renee snapped. “I’m getting out of here!”
He didn’t release her when she pulled toward the door. “You can’t leave until the sun goes down,” he told her. In fact, it was something of a miracle she was awake at all. “Basic survival, little one. Avoid sunlight. It is death to you now.”
She finally gave up trying to break his hold and glared at him again even though he felt weakness starting to overwhelm her. 
Such a temper for such a small package! 
When she spoke again, it was through gritted teeth and he knew she hated having to ask him for anything. “You can’t keep me here. I need a doctor. Some aspirin. Something.”
Eli shook his head. Aspirin wouldn’t do a thing for her except perhaps make her sick, and no human doctor could ever be allowed to examine one of their kind. She needed something, all right, but he knew she wouldn’t accept it yet. She didn’t yet recognize her own natural hunger, feeling it as simply another ache, but the echoes of it screamed along his nerves. There was only one thing which would ease her pain.
The trick was finding a way to get her to accept the blood she required. “You need rest,” he whispered, threading a soft compulsion through his words. “Sleep now. First you must recover from the Change. Then we’ll discuss the rest.”
He caught her as her eyes closed and her body went limp. Eli eased her back onto the bed and tucked her in, stroking her dark hair absently as he looked at her. Her hair was her only feature not distorted by the aftermath of the Change. It curled softly around his fingers like threads of fine silk and he admired its rich color, deep and vivid like some expensive wood polished to a high shine. Those dark tresses would glow with a thousand hidden lights in the sun, not that he would ever see it. He stroked her hair again and wished he could undo what had been done to her.
But he might as well have wished to stand in the sunlight again himself. Both were equally impossible. No matter how much they might wish it, there was no going back.
Like him, she would have to find some way to cope.
Eli stood abruptly and strode from the room. If he’d learned anything over his long life, it was that regrets were useless. He went downstairs and found Diego in the den, busily typing on the computer. 
“I need blood,” Eli said without preamble.
Diego didn’t look up. “Go hunt, then. I’m not stopping you.”
“It’s not for me. I need a bag.” 
Diego finally turned around in his chair. He gave Eli a long look before sighing in disgust. “You can’t expect me to feed an Outcast.” 
“How many times do I have to tell you she’s not an Outcast?” Eli strove to control his exasperation, but it was difficult. Diego could be as stubborn as a mule sometimes. “She’s innocent. Haven’t you ever been in the wrong place at the wrong time?”
“Here’s the last person on Earth who should talk about innocence, and I knew I shouldn’t have let her stay last night,” Diego muttered to the ceiling, ignoring Eli. “I knew I’d end up getting drawn into this mess if I did, and stupid me went and did it anyway.” He finally met Eli’s gaze. “You’re not getting me to play sire. I let her stay last night, but that’s the end of it.”
“Relax, Diego. I’m not asking you to take the fledgling again. I’ve told her she’s mine.”
Diego looked relieved and concerned at the same time. “I’m telling you, Eli, blood tells. You’re wasting your time. You should have done away with her when you had the chance—you know you’ll just have to do it anyway in the end. It would have been easier on everyone to put her down before anyone got attached to her.”
Eli glared at him. “She’s not a damn pet, and if you say ‘blood tells’ one more time, I’ll bleed you myself,” he growled. The phrase had always grated on him, mostly because it was true.
Diego shook his head as though dismissing the threat, but Eli noticed he didn’t say another word about it. “Fine, fine. I have some extra bags in the refrigerator. Do whatever it is you think you have to do, Eli. I’ve done my best to talk you out of it, but you always do whatever you want, don’t you?”
Eli turned to walk into the kitchen. “Yeah, that’s me,” he said bitterly under his breath. “Always doing whatever I want.” He snorted at the thought.
Freedom hadn’t been his for a long, long time.
But right now the fledgling needed him and he welcomed the distraction to keep him from dwelling on his own fate. 
He headed into the kitchen and opened Diego’s huge stainless steel refrigerator. There beside the mundane things like milk, cheese, and mustard were several plastic bags of whole blood—vampire emergency rations regularly replenished by James, Diego’s human Steward and servant. 
Diego never had to worry about coming home injured and trying to heal without blood, never had to try to hunt in a weakened condition while he recovered. Eli envied that and wished he dared take a Steward of his own. He had never found one who wasn’t too terrified of him to do the job. 
He shook the thought off and took one of the bags from the shelf. It was chilly in his hands and he grimaced at the thought of drinking it cold. He wouldn’t wish any vampire such an unappetizing first meal. He filled the sink with hot water and dropped the bag into it to warm. It wasn’t nearly as good as drinking straight from the source, but he knew for a fact she wasn’t ready for that yet. This should at least make it a little more palatable.
Ten minutes later, he sat carefully on the edge of the bed and looked down at Renee again. Even in sleep she looked like hell. He touched her shoulder gently. “Wake up, little one.” 
She sighed and shifted but didn’t open her eyes. “Go ‘way,” she muttered sleepily, trying to turn away from his voice.
Eli slipped an arm around her shoulders and lifted her into a semi-sitting position. “After you drink this,” he said, raising the blood-filled glass to her pale, cracked lips. “You can go back to sleep when you’re done.”
She turned her face away, eyes still closed. “What is it?” she whispered.
He smiled but there was no humor in it. He had no doubt the truth would have her wide awake and screaming in horror. He pressed the glass to her cracked lips and skirted the truth. “Everything you need to get well. Drink up, little one.”
He finally coaxed her into taking a sip. Instinct took over and she drained the glass rapidly. She was so desperately hungry he didn’t think she was even aware of her new fangs appearing for the first time. When the glass was empty, he debated briefly whether or not to go downstairs and get her more.
Renee’s head dropped back onto his arm and she fell almost instantly asleep again. Eli decided to let her be. She was such a small woman, maybe one unit at a time would be enough for her. He lowered her head back onto the pillow and started to pull the blankets up when he noticed her clothing for the first time since he’d carried her in last night. Her blouse was torn and crumpled, the collar stained with blood. It was buttoned tightly around her wrists and tucked into a narrow skirt. Ruined stockings clung to her legs, ripped and filthy. 
He couldn’t let her sleep like this.
He closed his eyes and summoned his powers, alarmed by how weak they were. Apparently he’d used more energy than he’d thought helping her through the Change and he suddenly felt the almost overpowering need to feed. Still, he would see to his charge’s comfort before his own.
A moment later, Renee’s torn and grimy business clothes were gone, replaced by a soft knit nightgown. Eli winced at the bruised patches on her skin, the visible evidence of last night’s life-and-death struggle and a testament to the pain she must be feeling now. He covered her gently and left the room, hoping he’d gotten enough blood into her to help her body mend itself.
He had a feeling he’d have a lot more difficulty getting her to drink what she needed once she was fully awake.
Chapter Two
When Eli returned around midnight, he met Diego and Sian at the door. Diego stood with his arms crossed over his chest, obviously furious. 
“Get her out of here,” he demanded. “I never agreed to keep her while you ran off hunting. I’m not a babysitter, dammit.”
“Diego—” Sian murmured, resting a hand on his arm, but he cut her off.
“You’re young, Sian,” he said, his voice softening as he addressed his bondmate, but no less stubborn or angry. “You haven’t seen what these beasts can do. Pretending to be innocent and helpless is as natural as breathing to them.”
Eli fought not to roll his eyes. “She’s no beast, and when I left, she could hardly sit up. Surely you’re not afraid of an unconscious fledgling, Diego.”
Diego’s jaw tightened. “I don’t want her here,” he repeated, putting an arm around Sian. “Get her out, Eli, or I’ll take care of the matter myself.”
“Fine. Consider her gone.” Eli pushed past the pair, holding onto his temper. Diego was concerned for his bondmate, a perfectly natural reaction for any male vampire, but Eli thought he was taking it a bit far. Still, he’d come back intending to take Renee away and there was no reason to make Diego uncomfortable any longer. 
He paused outside the bedroom door, needing to rein in his anger before he saw the fledgling again. It wasn’t the poor woman’s fault she’d been sired by an Outcast. It wasn’t fair that she should have to live with this prejudice, but there was nothing to be done about it. All he could do was teach her well and hope she was able to overcome it. 
But no matter what he told Diego, Eli was worried. Diego’s fears, much as they angered him, were not unfounded. Outcasts infected everything they touched and Eli had never heard of any new vampire sired by an Outcast who had not turned Outcast themselves.
But none of them, Eli reminded himself grimly, had been adopted by a member of the League. Even if it was him, that had to count for something. With that thought in mind, he pushed open the door.
The fledgling spun away from the window as the door swung open, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. “You again!” 
“You’re better,” Eli managed, holding onto the doorknob. 
It was the understatement of the year. He was stunned by her transformation. Her face was no longer discolored by bruises, and he noticed for the first time that she was absolutely lovely. Instead of the swollen and pitiful woman he’d held earlier, he now faced an exotic beauty with high cheekbones, glowing skin, lips full and lush and made to be worshipped—the face of a goddess framed in waves of rich, dark hair. 
But it was her gaze that caught and held him. She glared at him with eyes the exact color of topaz, golden and flashing with temper. Her cheeks flushed at his bold stare and Eli tore his eyes away and stared out the window, searching for his composure again.
The idea of keeping her with him, of training and teaching her, had seemed a hell of a lot simpler when she’d been battered and pitiful. Eli had absolutely no business thinking of topaz or worshipping when he looked at the fledgling he might have to destroy.
Distance was the key. He had to keep his distance. 
She straightened and faced him furiously. “Perhaps you’d care to explain to me why I’ve been locked in here for the last hour?”
Diego’s paranoia had clearly struck again. “This isn’t my home, and the owner didn’t want you wandering around while I was gone. He must have locked you in.”
His explanation didn’t soothe her at all. “Let me go,” she demanded. “I refuse to stay another instant in a house with a man who thinks he’s a vampire. I won’t even give your ridiculous notion that you’ve turned me into one the dignity of a reply. You’re insane and you need help. Now let me go before I call the police!”
It sounded like a speech she’d prepared for his return, but the anger behind it was real. He smiled, hoping to assuage her temper. “All right,” he said, and her shock at his easy acquiescence was obvious on her face. “But first I want to show you something. Come with me.”
She paled and took a step back. “I’m not going anywhere with you, and I don’t want to see anything you could possibly show me.”
Her thoughts were easy to read in the way her eyes widened and she gripped the blanket closer. Eli fought not to smile again. “Have no fear, little one. That is forbidden between sire and fledgling.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, but her crimson cheeks gave her away. “I don’t know what sire and fledgling even means!”
Eli smiled and held out his hand. “It means I’m not going to rape you. Now that I’ve spoken plainly, will you come with me? If you still want to go after you see this, I won’t stop you.”
Renee stared at him for a long moment, obviously debating. Then she squared her shoulders and walked across the room to stop a few feet from him, ignoring his outstretched hand. “I guarantee I’ll still want to go,” she told him, somehow managing to look down her nose at him despite his much greater height. “But to make you feel better, I’ll look at whatever it is you’re dying to show me.”
“How very kind of you,” Eli replied with a little bow. He took her elbow through the blanket. “This way, if you please.”
She sniffed at his sarcasm but let him lead her from the room. She was a prickly little thing, he thought as he steered her down the hall. Any other woman would have run screaming had she found herself in this situation, yet Renee stood wrapped in her blanket with all the dignity of a queen and made demands of him.
He hid a smile. Dangerous she might be, but he couldn’t help but like her spirit.
She didn’t balk until he opened the door and she saw the bathroom. “I don’t think so,” she said, stopping dead and resisting his gentle urging to enter. 
He shook his head in exasperation. “The mirror, you suspicious woman, I want to show you the mirror. What do you think I brought you here for?” She blushed again and he laughed. “Little one, the bathroom is not my idea of a romantic retreat. Haven’t I already told you such things are forbidden between us? Now come here—come on, I’m not going to hurt you,” he said in a tone he would have used to soothe a frightened animal. “If I wanted to hurt you, I had many chances before this.”
Renee narrowed her eyes at him. True, he could have harmed her while she was unconscious if he’d wanted. She vaguely remembered his voice soothing her during the nightmare of pain the night before, just as she recalled him helping her to drink something a few hours ago. Whatever it was had made her feel even worse for a little while, but it had clearly helped her immensely. Now only a lingering soreness remained in her muscles and her headache had faded to a bearable level. He hadn’t done anything to hurt her, and yet…
And yet every instinct she possessed screamed he was a predator. Deadly.
Finally Renee made herself follow him into the enormous bathroom. It was larger than her entire bedroom at home, but she couldn’t spare her attention to admire it right now. Her skin tingled as she passed by Eli. She frowned, rubbing her arms, feeling like she’d brushed against the world’s largest battery. Some kind of…energy, electricity, something radiated from him like heat from a fire.
Power, a hidden voice whispered to her. Vampire magic.
She squelched the voice before it could freak her out even more. She couldn’t afford to lose her head and buy into his nonsense, but the goosebumps on her arms refused to go away. “You’ll let me go,” she said, stepping quickly away from him. “You promised. You’ll let me go after this.”
He smiled gently at her and she wasn’t reassured. The man had a smile no smart woman would trust. “If you still want to go,” he agreed. “Yes, I’ll take you home if you wish. After this.” And he took her shoulders and turned her to face the full-length mirror on the wall across from her.
Renee gasped and would have fallen had he not held her. “Easy,” he murmured in her ear. “Breathe, little one.”
She couldn’t. She felt like she’d been hit in the gut with a sledgehammer. There in the mirror she saw Eli, his hands supporting—nothing. She was between him and the mirror, but she saw his entire form without interruption. There were two indentations in the plush carpet where she stood, but no feet. 
She had no reflection.
Nothing at all.
“How?” she managed to gasp, her heart pounding and head spinning. “How?”
“You’re a vampire. You have to believe it. You can’t pretend it’s not happening. If you’re going to live, you have to believe.”
His words, while spoken gently, hit her like body blows. “But—but you—I see—”
He guided her to the vanity and eased her down on the little stool before kneeling beside her. “I am not a fledgling. You, too, will learn to force a reflection in time. I’ll teach you.” As she watched his image suddenly vanished, the mirror now reflecting what looked like a completely empty room. 
Eli slowly reappeared, translucent at first, then solidifying. 
She finally managed to catch her breath, and with it, some of her reason. “It’s a trick,” she whispered. “It’s not a real mirror—it’s some kind of trick, a camera—”
Eli rose with unnerving speed. One instant he was beside her and the next he was at the mirror on the far wall. “It’s no trick,” he said, and his fist shot out.
Renee jumped as the mirror shattered. Only blank wall showed behind it.
He picked up a piece of the broken mirror and brought it to her. She hesitated to take it from his hand, a hand which should have been lacerated by broken glass but was totally uninjured. 
“Bad luck,” she heard herself whisper as though from a great distance, noticing the palm-sized shard he held still didn’t reflect her. She took it gingerly, not wanting to cut herself, and tried to see herself as hard as she could.
“Seven years isn’t long when you’re immortal,” he replied. “But it’s a chance we don’t have to take.” 
And before her eyes the broken mirror flew back into its frame, the shards rising up and falling seamlessly into place, the fractures in the glass melding into nothing. One hole remained about midway up on the left. Like a woman in a dream, she found herself crossing the room to fit the shard she held into its spot. A moment later the mirror was whole again, completely unmarked. Vampire magic, her inner voice whispered again, and this time she couldn’t ignore it.
“Your old life is over. There is no going back. No one from your world will help you and right now I’m the only friend you have. I can teach you everything you need to know, but you won’t survive alone. Do you still wish to go?”
She couldn’t answer. It was hard enough just to breathe, much less think. She slid to the floor and fought against a reality which couldn’t possibly be real. “You’re a vampire,” she whispered.
“Yes,” he agreed calmly. “As are you.”
She shook her head. She remembered the searing pain of fangs ripping into her throat, the certainty that she was going to die, the agony of the Change. How could she inflict such things on others? “I can’t do this,” she told Eli, her voice shaking with terror. “I can’t—drink blood, I can’t kill people—I can’t do this!”
He came and knelt beside her again. “You won’t kill,” he said, and she looked up at the sudden steel in his voice. His dark eyes were hard and cold as jet. “Killing is not a requirement of being a vampire, it is a choice. Should you choose to kill, I warn you now, I will slay you myself.” He paused to let his threat sink in before he continued in a much gentler voice. “And you’ve already drunk blood, though you didn’t know it at the time.”
Her memory flashed back to the warm drink he’d given her when she’d been mostly asleep. It had given her violent stomach cramps, but she’d been too exhausted to call for help. She’d wondered if he’d poisoned her until she’d woken feeling much stronger. Had it really been blood? She covered her mouth but the nausea she’d fully expected to feel at the thought didn’t come. 
The thought of drinking blood wasn’t instantly repulsive. More than anything else, that terrified her, even if actually doing it had made her ill. “You didn’t give me blood. Please tell me you didn’t.”
“How do you think you healed so quickly?” 
Oh God, he had. She shuddered. “Yours?” 
“Not mine.” Eli’s voice was suddenly several degrees colder. “Never mine.”
Her body wouldn’t stop shaking. Renee wondered if she was going to faint. She wasn’t the fainting sort, but right now it would’ve been a relief. “But you gave me someone’s blood,” she whispered, still waiting for the nausea. “That’s—that’s just sick.”
He shook his head. “You’re a vampire, whether you choose to believe it or not, and I simply gave you what you needed. It’s natural, not sick.” 
“Oh, God,” she moaned, covering her face with her hands. He was silent beside her, letting her work through the shock. Finally Renee looked up at him, not trying to hide the tears in her eyes. “Why did you do this to me?”
Eli touched her cheek gently. “To save your life, little one. Only to save you. If you would rather have died, I can grant your wish and I’ll make sure it’s painless.”
She knocked his hand away before wiping her eyes impatiently. She didn’t know what to make of this man. One minute he was offering her help and sympathy, and the next he spoke calmly of killing her—and gave every impression of willingness to follow through. She didn’t know how to respond. “I wish you’d stop calling me little one. It’s insulting.”
“I don’t mean it to be,” he said, smiling at the return of her temper.
She sighed and looked back at the mirror, still empty but for his reflection. “This isn’t a bad dream, I guess. I’m really not going to wake up from this, am I?” 
He shook his head, wishing he could give her any other answer. 
Then her spine straightened and she met his eyes. Never in her life had she been a quitter and she wasn’t about to start now. “All right. Teach me, or whatever. I don’t want to die.” There was no way she’d calmly accept death, no matter how weird the alternative was.
And this alternative gave new meaning to the word weird.
“Good girl.” She bristled at the condescending words but he didn’t seem to notice as he rose and helped her to her feet. His eyes were almost kind as he looked down at her. “You’ve been reported missing to the police. I checked while I was out. You’ll have to decide what to tell your family and friends, but I would advise against seeing them for a while. At least learn how to feed and control your hunger first.”
Renee winced. There was no one she could notify of what happened, no close friends in San Francisco since she’d only been here a few weeks. In truth, she was a bit surprised someone had reported her missing. She supposed she had family of a sort, but she didn’t imagine they’d miss her too much if she went missing. Her mother was gone and she’d seen her father twice since her birth. 
Eli frowned when she didn’t reply. “I’m not forcing you to stay,” he said. “You can leave at any time and I won’t stop you.”
Leave? She almost laughed. Where would she go? For a moment she thought of trying to reach her father. When she’d been small, he’d always been too busy with his other children to care much about the one born out of wedlock, but surely he’d help her if she needed it. Wouldn’t he?
She sighed. She was twenty-six years old, too old to go running to her parents when something went wrong. Besides, it wasn’t like her father had ever been a supportive part of her life. He’d be more likely to have her committed than help her out. 
She could just see it now. “Hi, Dad, I know you haven’t seen me since I turned eighteen, but I need a little help. See, I’ve developed this strange allergy to the sun, and don’t mind the teeth. I’m sure a good dentist can fix them—and would you mind robbing a blood-bank for me on a fairly regular basis?”
It was almost laughable, only there was nothing funny about this situation. She looked at her hands instead of at Eli and forced herself to speak past the lump in her throat. “There’s nothing for me to leave for. No one who’ll miss me.” 
Renee pressed a hand to her forehead against a sudden surge of weakness. Her head throbbed miserably. Eli touched her temple and she jumped at the slight electric shock she felt at his touch.
No, not electricity. It didn’t shock and it didn’t burn, but the sensation of power flowing into her was strong all the same. At once her headache eased considerably and her whirling thoughts calmed. 
“What now?” she asked, not looking up at him for fear of what she would see in his eyes and too wary of him to question how he’d eased her headache. She was fairly certain she didn’t want to know. As much as she still struggled with the revelation that she was a vampire, she found she had absolutely no problem believing Eli was one. And it had nothing to do with his rather imposing appearance.
“You’re weak. Your transition was difficult and your body hasn’t fully healed yet. You need to feed.”
She shuddered at the thought. “I’m not sure if I can,” she whispered. And even if she could, she certainly didn’t want to.
He guided her toward the door. “Instinct takes over when you need it,” he reassured her. “You won’t have any trouble.”
She let him lead her out of the bathroom, hardly noticing where he took her. Her life as she’d always known it was over, he’d told her, and she knew it was the truth. She couldn’t go to her family. They didn’t know her well enough to believe her if she said she was a vampire, and she had absolutely no desire to end up in a padded room. Whatever future she was to have lay with this strange, powerful man, at least for now. There was nothing to do but trust him and hope for the best.
Eli stopped suddenly and Renee looked up. Whatever she’d expected to see, it wasn’t a lovely, tall woman standing at the top of the stairs, holding a folded bundle in her hands and looking at her with pity and understanding in her clear blue eyes. 
Eli placed himself between Renee and the woman. “You shouldn’t be here,” Eli told her sternly.
The woman shook her head and rolled her eyes. “You and Diego, you’re exactly the same. Don’t go into the north wing, don’t talk to the fledgling, don’t this and don’t that. Anyone would think I was a creampuff instead of a Slayer.” She snorted. “I never took orders well and I don’t intend to start now.”
Brushing past Eli, she stepped to Renee’s side and took her cold hand. “I’m Sian Leonides,” she greeted her warmly. “Diego’s bondmate. This is our home, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re welcome here.”
“Th-thank you,” Renee replied, thrown off-balance. It hadn’t occurred to her to think she’d ever been unwelcome there, and if it was possible she suddenly felt even more uncomfortable. “I’m Renee Hardin.”
Sian smiled at her before looking up at Eli. “Please tell me you don’t intend to take her out of here in only a nightgown.”
Eli shrugged. “She’s frightened enough of me without me doing things to her clothes. Besides, it’s not like she can catch a cold, Sian. She’ll be fine.”
Sian laughed as Renee straightened angrily, preparing to correct Eli on his assumption of her fear and awe of him. She held out the bundle to Renee. It contained jeans and a sweater. “I brought this for you. Come on, I’ll talk to you while you get dressed. I might not see you again for a while, and I’d like to get to know you a little before Diego finds me and has a fit.”
Renee started to follow Sian but Eli didn’t release her arm. She looked up to see him staring intently at Sian. “I am her sire, Sian. Do you understand?”
Sian’s eyebrows rose but she nodded. “Of course,” she agreed. She held out a hand to Renee. “Come on, you must be freezing.”
Renee finally noticed she’d lost the blanket at some point and shivered even though she hadn’t noticed the cold before now. The sweater the woman had pressed on her suddenly looked very inviting and she followed Sian into the sage bedroom.
Sian straightened the rumpled covers as Renee quickly pulled on the clothes she’d brought. “You’ll be fine, you know,” she said as Renee dressed. “It’s frightening being a fledgling sometimes, I know, but I promise it gets better.”
Renee shuddered as she tugged the sweater over her head. “I don’t see how it could get worse,” she muttered under her breath. Sian laughed and Renee blushed when she realized the other woman had heard her. She looked up and met Sian’s crystal eyes. “Why will Diego have a fit when he finds out you’re here?” she asked.
Sian’s smile faded. “Well, you’re in a fragile state right now,” she said slowly. “You’re not fully healed and you don’t know your vampire powers or your new strength yet. You might…you might hurt someone without meaning to.”
Renee watched her eyes as she spoke. Where they had been clear as perfectly cut aquamarine a moment ago, now they were clouded and uncomfortable. She knew Sian was lying, she just didn’t know why. “Is it Eli?” she asked. “Do they not get along or something?”
Sian waved a hand to dismiss her concern, but Renee noticed she was trying not to fidget as she thought about her answer. “Well, I’m not sure Eli actually gets along with anyone.” 
“Why not?” Renee pressed, ignoring Sian’s obvious discomfort with the subject. The woman was a terrible liar and had the answers Renee needed. She didn’t feel the least bit guilty about interrogating her. “What’s wrong with him?”
Sian looked decidedly nervous now. Talking about Eli clearly wasn’t what she’d had in mind when she’d suggested this chat. “Nothing’s wrong with him,” she replied quickly. “He’s just old—very, very old. No one even knows how old. And he’s powerful, amazingly powerful. He scares some people.”
“He scares you,” Renee observed. Sian shrugged but Renee noticed she didn’t deny it. “Is that why your bondmate wants me gone? What is a bondmate, anyway?”
“A bondmate is like a spouse, but there’s much more to it,” Sian said, but her avoidance of Renee’s first question didn’t go unnoticed. She held up her arm and Renee saw a band around her forearm, something like a tattoo. The pattern of strange runes was unlike anything she’d ever seen before. “This is the mark of my bond with Diego. If you bond, you’ll wear something similar.”
“Diego made you a vampire?”
Sian laughed and shook her head. “No, that’s forbidden.” Seeing Renee’s confusion, Sian explained, “The relationship between sire and fledgling is like a parent and child. It’s against all our laws for a vampire to transform a human in order to make a mate. A fledgling is vulnerable to older vampires. Your sire is supposed to be like your parent, someone to protect you and teach you, without expecting something in return.”
“Sian.” The other woman looked up at the note in Renee’s voice. Renee waited until she was sure she had Sian’s full attention. “Should I be afraid of Eli?”
Sian shook her head at once, and her eyes were clear again as she answered. “No, of course not. Didn’t you understand what I said? He’s here to guide you and teach you, and defend you until you can defend yourself. Listen to him, do what he says, and you’ll be fine.”
Renee was about to ask what Eli might need to defend her from but her question died in her throat as shouts erupted from the other side of the door. She spun around, heart pounding, but Sian was already moving toward the door. 
“Looks like Diego’s found me,” Sian said lightly. She touched Renee on the shoulder as she passed. “You might want to stay in here until he’s gone, all right?”
Before Renee could ask why, the door flew open, revealing a tall, enraged vampire glaring into the room. He bared his fangs viciously at Renee and his unnatural cat-like green eyes blazed with fury. Renee stumbled back, terrified, but Sian went to him without hesitation. 
She grabbed him around the waist and stopped him from barging into the room. “Diego, don’t,” she said firmly. “She’s harmless. You don’t need to scare her to death.”
Diego wrapped an arm around Sian and pointed menacingly at Renee as his mate restrained him. “Come near her again and I swear by all I hold dear I’ll kill you,” he snarled. Renee couldn’t take a breath as terror squeezed her lungs. 
Then Eli was there, moving with such speed it seemed like he’d appeared out of thin air in front of Renee. “Enough, Diego. Your bondmate is fine and we’re leaving, as you wished.”
A terrifying growl came from Diego’s throat, and Renee fought not to cower behind Eli. Regardless of her anger at him, she was very glad Eli was between her and the furious vampire. “Don’t bring her back,” Diego ground out. “You may be blind, Eli, but I know what she is. I’ll kill her if she comes near Sian again.”
Eli felt Renee frozen with fear behind his back and his eyes narrowed. “If your intention is to teach her to hate the League, you’re going about it perfectly,” he said in Spanish, and his voice was even more terrible than Diego’s. “She is my fledgling and I will defend her if need be. You don’t want to fight me, Diego. Get hold of yourself. She didn’t seek Sian out and after this I doubt she’ll dare to so much as look at her again.”
“Good,” Diego snapped before turning and pulling Sian out of the room with him.
Eli turned when they were gone, forcing his fangs and claws to retract. Renee looked up at him with wide eyes. 
“He hates me,” she whispered. “Why? What did you say to him?”
He sighed. “He doesn’t know you,” he replied, knowing it was no answer at all. He had nothing else to give her. “We need to go.”
“Go where?” 
He led her to the window and opened it. “Give me your hand.”
Renee slipped her much smaller hand into his but looked doubtfully from him to the open window. “You’re not about to transform into a bat or something, are you?”
Her fingers laced through his with a trust he was certain he didn’t deserve. He tried to remember the last time someone had touched him without hesitation and couldn’t. Hell, he hardly remembered the last time he’d allowed someone to touch him, period. “I don’t believe I’ve ever been a bat,” he replied, grinning in an attempt to ease the lingering tension. “But I guess that’s as good a form as any. Ready?”
She yanked her hand back. “No, absolutely not!”
He laughed. “All right, what would you prefer?” 
“A car!” 
Eli shook his head. “Unimaginative,” he said, then captured her hand again and pulled her straight out the window before she had a chance to protest again.
Renee saw the ground rising up and winced in anticipation of impact, but it never came. When she finally managed to open her eyes, she gasped at the sight of the city rolling away beneath her. If she’d had any lingering doubts he truly was what he claimed to be, this was more than enough to banish them, and she grabbed Eli in panic.
At least, she attempted to grab him, but she didn’t seem to have any arms. “Please tell me I’m not a bat!” she tried to shout, but no sound came out. Instead the words echoed soundlessly in her head.
She heard his reply the same way. Mist, he said in tones of unmistakable amusement. You didn’t seem wild about the bat idea. I thought you might like this better.
Only then did the sensations her nerves reported make sense. She felt light, her body tingling all over, and she felt strangely enclosed by something. 
Me, Eli replied, obviously picking up her thoughts. I’m around you, guiding you. Relax. This trip is my treat.
Some treat, she thought, even though her fear was fading as a rush of exhilaration replaced it. His low laugh made her wish she had an elbow to use on him, although she’d probably break her arm if she tried it. The man was solid muscle, hard as a rock. She gazed in wonder at the lights of the city sparkling in the night. It was beautiful and she loved her new vision which let her appreciate every last detail of it.
But suddenly something caught her attention. It was nothing she could put her finger on, and yet something down below called to her. Something she wanted—no, needed. She concentrated, trying to figure out what enticed her.
Almost at once Eli circled down as though he were following the prompting of her senses. 
What is it? she asked him as the feeling strengthened.
They came to a halt in a darkened doorway on the kind of street no sane person would be on after dark. Renee’s entire body shivered as she returned to her normal form. Eli shimmered into being beside her. “Follow your senses,” he told her. 
Renee took a step and suddenly remembered she wore no shoes. It hadn’t crossed her mind when she’d changed clothes in the bedroom, but now that she was faced with the dirty street, her bare feet seemed very important. She turned to protest to Eli, but he gave her a little smile. 
“Nothing can cut you unless you allow it,” he said, obviously reading her hesitation. 
“Like you and the mirror?”
“Exactly.”
Renee looked back at the street and squared her shoulders before stepping out. Almost at once something sharp pricked her foot and she winced, feeling a shard of broken glass cut into the pad of her big toe. She leaned against the wall and glared at Eli as she lifted her foot to pluck the glass out. “Liar.”
Eli shook his head. “You weren’t trying,” he replied, touching her toe and healing the little cut. “Now try again, but this time, know your feet are impermeable. Don’t think it. Believe it.”
Renee rolled her eyes and put her foot back down. “Seems like it’d be easier to just give me some shoes,” she grumbled. “The man can turn me into mist, but he can’t give me shoes.” He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, waiting. “Oh, fine,” she snapped, walking out into the street again and imagining her feet were encased in sturdy, thick-soled shoes.
She managed to make it half a block without cutting herself again, but she wasn’t sure if her accomplishment was a triumph of her “powers” or simply the result of careful walking. Either way, she felt closer to whatever had tempted her as they’d flown overhead.
She turned the corner to look down an alley and suddenly recoiled. “Oh, no, you don’t,” she protested, taking a step back and colliding with Eli. “No way!”
He steadied her and nodded at the vagrant sleeping a few yards away in the mouth of the alley. “You’re hungry. I didn’t choose this place, you did. You sensed him as we flew, felt his helplessness. Easy prey. As I said, instinct takes over when you need it.” His dark gaze captured hers and she couldn’t make herself look away. “Now do what you need to do.”
Visions of bending over the vagrant’s neck, sinking her fangs deep and drinking her fill, swamped her mind. Her hunger surged, a burning in her veins. Relief was right in front of her. For a moment, she actually wanted to bite him and sate her terrible need. 
Renee shook her head violently and forced the images away. “I can’t!”
Eli stepped forward, herding her into the alley. She forgot her protective illusion and winced as something else sharp pierced the sole of her foot, but Eli didn’t even pause until they stood beside the sleeping man. “You have to,” he told her firmly. “Do you want to starve?”
She looked at the vagrant and shuddered. Something inside her awakened and urged her to go to him, something untamed and animalistic. She pressed her hand to her mouth, ashamed to realize she was salivating, and was stunned to feel the slight bulges beneath her lips of fangs she hadn’t even known she had. She opened her mouth and touched them with her tongue, her fingertip. The razor-sharp tip pricked her finger and the sudden aroma of blood overwhelmed her.
“He won’t fight,” Eli murmured in her ear. “You won’t harm him, merely take a little blood. He’ll simply think he has a hangover when he awakens. Go, little one, and do what you know you have to do.”
Something in his voice was impossible to resist. She stepped forward with a little sob, hating him for turning her into a monster even as the other wild part of her gloried at the thought of sinking her new fangs into a defenseless throat. Unable to resist Eli’s persuasion and her own hunger, Renee fell to her knees beside the sleeping vagrant and drank.
Eli watched her carefully, using his own powers to keep the man quiet and unknowing, ready to intervene in an instant if necessary. She was stubborn. He’d had to use a fairly strong compulsion on her to make her do what should have come naturally. 
Strange. A new fledgling should have no resistance to compulsion, especially his.
He hated having to force her to do this so soon after her transition, but there was no other way. A sire usually fed his fledgling from his own wrist or throat for at least a few days, but Eli couldn’t do that. If Renee was to feed, she would have to learn to take her prey herself. All he could do for her was to make sure they didn’t struggle and awaken her animal instincts, or worse, trigger the Outcast curse and send her into a blood frenzy.
He knew the exact moment she’d taken as much from this man as he was able to give. He went to her side and grasped her shoulders. “Enough,” he said firmly. 
She tried to shove him away and he pulled her back. She bared her fangs at him but he didn’t let her go back to her feasting. “Enough,” he repeated. “You don’t want to hurt him. Remember, little one, never kill.”
The bloodlust was slow in fading from her eyes. When it did, she looked up at him in horror and covered her mouth with a hand. 
“It’s all right,” he said reassuringly. “You didn’t harm him.” 
“I would have,” she whispered, looking down at the still-motionless form in dismay. “I would have kept on until—until there was nothing more to take.”
“You will learn control.” Any starving fledgling would have done the same, he told himself, crushing down the alarm he felt at her words. It doesn’t mean anything. “And your hunger will not always be as sharp as it is tonight. Come, follow your senses again and find another. You haven’t fed enough and you’re not completely healed. You need to be at full strength.”
She shook her head, tears shimmering on her lashes. “No more. I can’t do it again. I just can’t.”
And he knew she’d reached the breaking point. She’d absorbed as much of her new world as she could handle in one night. She was strong and spirited, but pushing her further would only cause her pain. “All right, little one. I’ll take you home.”
He transformed them into mist again and glided with her, feeling her dismay as they approached the largest cemetery in the city. I was hoping sleeping in a coffin on the soil of your homeland was a myth, she said in his mind, and he admired her attempt at humor even though she was feeling overwhelmed.
It is, he reassured her. Otherwise he would be one very weary vampire. But I find this a very convenient place to live. No one ever comes calling, no matter what they’re selling.
Renee didn’t have time to think of a retort before Eli dove from the sky, speeding straight toward a rocky outcropping in the center of the cemetery. The fine fissure in the rock wasn’t visible until they were almost upon it. Although he sensed the trip through was an experience in claustrophobia she wasn’t eager to repeat, she was considerably calmer than he’d expected when he brought them back to their solid forms in his entryway far beneath the surface. “Home sweet home.”
Renee visibly gathered herself before looking around, obviously dreading what she’d see when she did, expecting perhaps a damp, dirty cave. He might have laughed at anyone else, but he was well aware of how weary and confused she was. Instead he stood silently and let her become accustomed to his home. He waited for her reaction with a strange feeling of nervousness. 
No one had ever seen his home before.
He’d lived here for centuries, since before the oldest inhabitants of the cemetery had even been born. He’d hollowed it out of the granite bedrock himself and filled it with every luxury imaginable, expanding whenever he’d run out of room rather than getting rid of anything. The result was a vast underground mansion, a plush home unknown to anyone save himself and now this poor, exhausted fledgling he’d adopted.
She looked back at him. “It’s lovely.” 
A warm glow of pride unexpectedly suffused him. It was odd to feel like this about her simple praise. “But you’re too tired for anything but bed,” he finished for her. “We’ll do the grand tour tomorrow. This way.” 
He led her down the hall, past the engraved granite archways leading into the main den and enormous library. Candles flared to light as they passed. They turned a corner and paused in front of a hand-carved oak door. He opened it for her and stepped back. This had once been his room before he’d tired of it and created another. “I’m next door should you need me. Try to get some rest.”
She stepped through and closed the door gently behind her before turning to really look at the room. Renee’s eyes widened when she saw the plush bedroom and she bit her lip hard to keep from throwing the door open again and thanking Eli.
He’d stolen her life. Keeping her comfortable was the least he could do.
Still, she’d never seen a room like this. It was absolutely lovely, like it had been created for royalty. The bed was enormous, far larger than her king-sized bed at home, and covered with an intricately quilted bedspread of midnight blue silk and velvet. Matching hangings were tied back at each of the bed’s corner posts with gold cord. The walls were painted a soothing, cheerful yellow, such a pale shade it felt almost like sunlight. Two intricately carved doors opened off the room and the light wood gave a feeling of airiness despite their obviously heavy construction. Velvet curtains hung on the far wall and she crossed to them, suddenly curious.
Pulling them aside revealed not a window but a large and very detailed painting of a sun-kissed meadow covered in spring flowers. A creek trickled at the far boundary of the meadow and a flock of incredibly detailed and tiny birds glided in the sky. It was by far the most beautiful painting she’d ever seen.
Renee felt despair instead of joy when she looked at it. The sunlight on those lovely flowers would never again touch her face. She would never hear those birds sing on a spring morning. She dropped the drapes and threw herself down on the bed, too tired for tears. 
Chapter Three
Renee awakened all at once. She lay there on the bed, trying to figure out what had woken her since she usually floated slowly to the surface of consciousness each day.
But she couldn’t identify what had woken her, so she finally sat up with a shrug. The room looked the same as it had last night—plush, open, and lovely, but she still felt a pang when she glanced at the closed velvet drapes. Never again would she wake up to the bright rays of the morning sun brightening her room. Her sadness made her feel physically weak, and it was an effort not to burrow back under the covers.
Renee shook her head. What was she thinking? This wasn’t like her. No matter what, she wasn’t the type to hide from her problems, and she didn’t intend to start moping in her new life as a vampire.
And that was how she intended to think of it from now on, she decided firmly. A new life. No, she hadn’t chosen this path, but she couldn’t honestly say she’d rather Eli had let her die. She probably shouldn’t complain about how he’d saved her. No one would miss her, and there was another depressing thought. She pushed it resolutely aside. She’d always been a night owl. This, she thought with a faint smile, was simply taking the tendency to the extreme.
She stood, stretched. The weakness rushed over her again, making her a little dizzy. Renee frowned and held onto one of the bedposts until she felt steady again. When she was sure she wouldn’t stumble again, she made her way toward the first of the two doors which opened off the room, curious.
The first opened onto a bathroom suite which could only be described as opulent. As they had last night, candles flared to life at her approach. She stood in the doorway with her mouth open for a long moment. Everything was white marble, the gold-veined stone elaborately engraved at every angle, and so beautiful she hardly knew where to look first.
The tub was an enormous sunken affair in the center of the room, and marble pillars supported an arched dome above it. She edged closer and peeked up at the ceiling of the dome and somehow wasn’t surprised to find the engraving continued there. The inner surfaces of the pillars were shaped into great tree-trunks, no two alike, and their branches entwined over her head in a riot of leaves and flowers of every description. Candles of all shapes and sizes burned in small groupings at the four corners of the tub. Even the faucet was exquisite, the gold spout shaped like the head of a swan and the handles resembling its wings. Snowy towels thick and huge enough to use as blankets hung on the wall beside a plush bathrobe.
She finally managed to tear her eyes away from the tub and let her gaze travel over the rest of the room at random. Thick Persian rugs overlapped on the stone floor, and even her untrained eye could tell they were exceptional examples of the craft. She winced at the mere thought of getting them wet. Two pedestal sinks, also marble, waited to her right with a large gold table between them. At the center of the table sat an enormous crystal vase filled with white flowers. Their heavenly scent filled the room. On either side of the vase burned thick, three-wick candles.
A vanity table, also gilded and graced with a crystal vase of flowers, sat near a glass-walled shower stall. Pure decadence, it looked large enough to hold several people. Shower heads were positioned at every angle on three of the four sides, clearly designed to massage the entire body at once, and Renee was suddenly torn between equally powerful desires to try this decadent shower and spend hours lingering in that sinfully tempting bath. More of those luxurious towels hung nearby.
Then she frowned. Not one mirror graced the entire room.
Renee was about to step inside, still torn between the shower and the tub, when she remembered she had no other clothes than the borrowed jeans and sweater she still wore from last night. She turned away—not without a pang of regret—and looked at the other door.
If the bathroom had amazed her, the sight which met her eyes when she pulled open this door stunned her. Renee stared into the walk-in closet and fought the urge to rub her eyes.
It wasn’t the size of the closet, which was huge. It wasn’t the Persian rug on the floor, which was gorgeous. It was the sight of her clothes already hanging there.
Renee touched the sleeve of her favorite blouse, then opened one of the drawers in the lingerie chest in the center of the closet. Her bras and panties, neatly folded, met her eyes. She blushed crimson at the thought of Eli touching her intimate things, for who else would’ve brought her things here?
But all embarrassment aside, she was deeply touched. Having her things here, something familiar in a strange place and in the strangest of circumstances, grounded her in a way she couldn’t explain. She didn’t even want to know how he’d known where she lived. She was too grateful to care. She picked up fresh lingerie, forcing her blush away—after all, if Sian was to be believed, the man was certainly old enough to have seen a women’s underwear before—and grabbed a set of clean clothes.
It was definitely time to try that shower.
An hour later, her skin tingling from the heavenly massage those multi-level shower heads had given her, Renee pulled on the thick robe and toweled her hair dry. If this was how vampires lived, she thought as she bent over and flipped her hair to dry the roots, she could definitely get used to being a creature of the night!
The next thing she knew she was lying flat on her back and staring up into Eli’s black eyes. She gave a squeak of surprise. “What are you doing in here?” she demanded, pulling the lapels of her robe tighter around herself. “I might’ve been in the shower or something!”
“I felt you faint,” he said, his voice as calm as if he’d been discussing the weather. “I didn’t think your state of dress was the most important consideration. Are you hurt?”
Renee pushed herself into a sitting position and tried to ignore the sudden throbbing in her head. “I’m fine, and it’s important to me,” she said irritably, hardly able to believe she’d actually fainted. She’d always been scornful of dramatically swooning women. 
He ignored her discomfort and bad mood. “You need to feed. You didn’t take enough last night, and it’s catching up with you.” He shook his head at her reluctant sigh. “You’re not fully healed from the Change. You have to feed.”
She sighed again and looked away from those dark eyes. It was a little too disconcerting to be sitting here wearing nothing but a robe beside a man who’d handled her panties. “I know,” she said, plucking at the rug beneath her. “I just don’t have to like it.”
Accepting her new life was one thing. Getting comfortable drinking blood…
That was something else entirely.
Eli reached out and smoothed her damp and rumpled hair. She had no idea how much her reluctance to hunt soothed his worries. “I know,” he said gently. 
She looked up at the tone of his voice. “Do you mind stepping out while I get dressed?” 
“You’re sure you don’t need assistance?”
Her eyes narrowed and flashed with irritation, two golden gems kindling in her pale face. “I’m not a child,” she snapped.
He almost smiled at her temper but restrained himself. “I’m well aware of that.”
She didn’t look mollified in the slightest. She looked pointedly at the door and he took the intended hint and left.
Eli closed the door softly behind him and sighed. Her words echoed in his head and he rubbed his forehead wearily. 
If only he could think of her as a child.
But she wasn’t, and all his senses knew it. He shook his head, trying to banish the memory of her sitting there glaring at him and forgetting to hold the robe closed in her anger. The faintest hint of cleavage had shown in the V of the robe but it had been enough. Looking away hadn’t helped, because his eyes had been drawn to one slender, exquisitely fine leg peeking out from beneath the terry cloth, bare all the way to mid-thigh.
For a moment, he’d been tempted to untie the robe and see the rest, and knowing she was nude beneath it hadn’t helped him in the least. Eli ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. Such thoughts were taboo for a sire, and he was ashamed of them. 
But damn it all, he wasn’t her sire and hadn’t felt anything like a sire when he’d looked at her.
An instant later, he heard Renee’s footsteps approaching the door. He stepped back, realizing belatedly he’d been leaning against it. By the time she opened it, he was standing several feet away and had regained his composure.
Her hunger beat at him as soon as she stepped into the room. He frowned at her pallor. The blue sweater and dark jeans she’d chosen only emphasized the rings under her eyes and the slight hollowness of her cheeks. Her bare toes curled on the thick rug as though trying to hide from his scrutiny, and Eli felt a strange rush of fierce protectiveness wash over him.
In this state she was helpless as a newborn kitten. Easy prey.
“Are you ready?” he asked, thrusting his hands into the pockets of his jacket to keep her from seeing his clenched fists at the thought. 
Renee glanced down at her feet. “Do I get to wear shoes this time?” 
He smiled slightly and nodded toward the closet. “Be my guest.”
She edged past him and opened the closet door. She was still wary of him, and while Eli supposed it was appropriate, he found he didn’t like it much. He should’ve been used to it. Everyone treated him that way. He’d long ago stopped expecting anything else and it baffled him why it bothered him coming from her.
He felt rather than saw the dizziness take her again when she bent to grab a pair of sneakers from the low shelf inside the closet. He welcomed the distraction from his strange thoughts and before she could stumble, he was there. 
She jumped at his sudden appearance beside her as he steadied her. His frown deepened at the ashen color of her face. 
“Sit,” he commanded as he guided her back to the bed. He didn’t give her a chance to argue before he was back with her shoes and a pair of socks in his hands. “I’ll do this. You can’t seem to bend over without passing out.”
Renee watched him lift one of her feet to slip a sock on. Never in a million years would she have ever imagined herself in such a crazy situation—ensconced in a magnificent suite such as royalty could only dream of, with an ancient vampire kneeling at her feet to help her with her shoes. There was something oddly intimate about the act, the faint graze of his knuckles against her ankle and his fingers smoothing the material over her arch. His hands looked very tan against the white sock, very large as they cradled her foot. She looked down at him—kneeling before her put him barely below eye level as she sat on the high bed—and found her fingers reaching out to capture a lock of his amazing hair.
Eli looked up at her touch. She avoided his dark eyes and stared instead at the silver-white strands curled around her finger. His hair fascinated her. There was no gray in it at all. It shimmered like threads of pure moonlight in the faint candlelight. “Will my hair turn this color someday?” she asked, remembering Sian telling her Eli was an ancient.
He shook his head and the lock slipped from her gentle grasp. He didn’t comment on the randomness of her question. “Your hair will remain the same color as it is now.”
“Oh.” Then she touched his hair again. “Has yours always been this way?”
He shrugged and lifted her other foot. “Always.”
Renee watched him tug the second sock on and thought about everything she’d ever learned about the Middle Ages. If he was as old as Sian said, he surely would have lived through the troubled, superstitious time. 
“I bet you were singled out a lot,” she murmured, even though nothing about this man indicated he had ever felt the need for sympathy. He glanced up at her as he tied her first shoe, one eyebrow raised, and she blushed a little and stumbled on. “I mean, people fear what is different—I bet it wasn’t easy for you growing up.”
He shrugged and slipped the other shoe on. “It wasn’t uncommon.” 
Renee’s eyebrows rose. “Where do you come from?” she asked, wondering where in the world hair like his “wasn’t uncommon”. She’d never seen anyone with such silvery hair in her life.
Eli rose with catlike grace and held out a hand to her. “Let’s go,” he said as though she hadn’t spoken. 
Renee had lived long enough to know when a hint was being dropped to change the subject and she swallowed her curiosity. For all she knew, he might be the last survivor of a dead people or something. She couldn’t imagine how painful it would be to be the last of a culture. If he didn’t want to talk about it, she certainly wouldn’t press.
She took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. It felt like he was supporting her more than physically—a tingle shot up her arm and spread through her body from the simple contact, and her dizziness faded. She didn’t think too closely about how he’d provided the surge of strength. “I wish I didn’t have to do this.”
Eli squeezed her hand gently and drew her out the door. “It will get easier.”
She followed him through the curving hallway. At every corner and even along the ceiling the intricate engravings she’d admired in her bedroom and bathroom continued. Lifelike vines twisted overhead and along Greek-style pillars. They passed several statues, all flawless carvings of predators—eagle, wolf, even a cobra so detailed each flawless scale glimmered in the faint candlelight. When Eli paused in the high-ceilinged entry hall she ran her fingers along one of them, an incredibly realistic rendition of a leaping panther. 
“These are beautiful,” she murmured. “How did you get them in here?”
He glanced at her hand as she ran her fingertip along the cat’s back. He didn’t reply for a moment and Renee was about to decide he wasn’t going to when he spoke at last. “I made them.”
Renee’s eyes widened as she stared at him. She looked back at the panther, really examining it, and realized it and the pedestal supporting it were all one piece, a single column of black granite rising uninterrupted from the floor. “Wow,” she breathed, looking at the engraved walls and archways around her with new appreciation. “You—did all this?” He nodded once, watching her with those unreadable black eyes. 
She smiled at him, wondering if this enigmatic and self-assured man felt the anxiety of an artist anxious for his work to be appreciated. “It’s amazing,” she said, running her fingers over the cat again in an unconscious caress. “I bet doing all this took you a long time,” she added, hoping he’d give her an indication of his age.
He either didn’t notice the hint or ignored it. “California has some long days in the summer. I had to find something to do.” 
She looked across at the far wall and saw several more statues on pedestals. She crossed to a crocodile and smiled as she touched the sharp teeth in its gaping jaws. “You like predators, I see.”
He shrugged. “They are all the Clans,” he replied.
“Clans?”
“The Clans are like extended families,” he explained. “A Clan will always come to the aid of any of its members.” He watched her as she moved to a carving of a tarantula. “Ronin is Arachnid Clan. Diego and Sian are Panther Clan.”
“And yours?” Renee asked, glancing back at him and wondering who Ronin was.
He shrugged again. “All of them,” he said, his eyes skimming over the statues as though he hadn’t really looked at them in a long time. “And none of them.”
She made a face at his non-answer, but again he didn’t seem to notice. He was good at that, both not answering and not noticing her frustration with it. She looked around again and frowned. “No sea creatures,” she remarked.
He looked at her, a little smile curving his lips, and her breath froze in her lungs. Renee tried hard not to stare. He shouldn’t be allowed to smile without warning a woman first, she thought irritably. It wasn’t fair to spring that on the unsuspecting. “We don’t interact with sea creatures much,” he replied. “But I suppose a shark would be a worthy Clan symbol.”
“There are other ocean predators besides sharks,” she said, reaching for humor to distract her from her reaction to his smile. “I was thinking of a jellyfish. Have you ever been stung by one of those? They hurt like you wouldn’t believe.” 
His laughter surprised them both and he shook his head. “I don’t think any vampires would be too eager to join the Jellyfish Clan, little one,” he teased.
“Well then, what about the giant squid?” Renee shot back, gritting her teeth at the nickname. He made her feel about six years old when he called her that. “It seems to fit. They can reach up to the surface, grab their unsuspecting victim, and drag them down into a dark world they never imagined. Don’t you think that’s an appropriate mascot too?”
Eli’s face went solemn. Her tone left no doubt she wasn’t teasing anymore. “You’re angry with me. But without me, you would be dead. If saving your life the only way I could makes me evil to you, then I am evil.” He didn’t allow her to reply before he transformed them into mist.
They burst into the night and Renee drank it in. It was beautiful. The stars seemed a thousand times brighter to her new eyes and even the cemetery looked like a wonderland in the faint moonlight. She felt Eli all around her, in her mind, holding the form of the mist for her and guiding her, leaving her free to enjoy every nuance of this gorgeous night. Just as Sian had said, he was protecting her, guiding her, and what was she doing? Baiting him. I’m sorry, she thought quietly.
Don’t apologize to me for anything. You have a right to be angry. 
Just like that, he disarmed her. Renee only started paying attention to where he was taking her when they started to descend from the skies. Bright lights assaulted her sensitive eyes and a hundred conflicting songs poured out of nightclubs as they stopped in a little alley and Eli brought them back to their natural forms. Strange sensations she couldn’t identify battered her mind. She fought the urge to put her hands over her ears and close her eyes against the sensory overload.
He touched her forehead gently and suddenly the uproar faded to a bearable level. She looked up at him gratefully. “What did you do?” She really needed to learn the trick.
He smiled at her. “Your senses are much more acute than they once were,” he told her. “Now you can sense everything for miles. You aren’t able to process some of the information yet. You’re feeling things you’ve never felt as a mortal, but you’ll learn how to filter through all of it in time. I simply adjusted your focus a little.”
Most of his “explanation” went straight over her head. “And what are we focusing on?” she asked. He raised an eyebrow at her as though the answer should’ve been obvious to her. 
And she did know. She just didn’t have to like it. “Oh, right. We’re sucking necks tonight, am I right?”
Eli shook his head but couldn’t stop himself from laughing a little. His little fledgling had quite a way with words. “Sucking necks,” he repeated under his breath, running a hand through his hair and leading her toward the main road. “Yes, little one, we’re looking for food.”
She stopped dead and glared at him. “If you keep calling me that I swear I’m going to hit you. I am not little!”
Eli wanted to laugh again but he held it in. “I tremble in terror,” he told her seriously. She scowled at him and he felt his lips twitch. He held up his hands as though warding off an attack. “Compared to me, you’re little. I can’t help it.”
“Try,” she advised him acidly before striding ahead. “And compared to you, He-Man, everyone’s little.”
Eli shook his head at her back, grinning. “How about feisty?” he couldn’t resist calling after her. “Can I call you that? I think it fits too.”
“Someone is cruisin’ for a bruisin’,” she muttered, but he heard her and couldn’t help laughing again.
He followed her down the street, still grinning. He hadn’t expected to like her, this young fledgling descended from an Outcast, but he did. His smile faded slowly. 
Liking her was a complication he could do without.
Renee needed no help finding prey, but he hadn’t expected her to. Her instincts were good, as she’d proven last night. She still hesitated over the actual biting, though, and in the end he had to add his own compulsion again, as he had the night before. When she pulled away, she didn’t look at him. Eli felt her shame and frowned. 
“Why do you feel guilt?” he asked her as he healed the little puncture wounds with a glance. “You didn’t harm him.”
She looked past him rather than at him when she replied. “I don’t like this,” she said quietly, then stared down at her hands. “I really don’t like this.”
Guilt tightened around his heart as Eli laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You are doing nothing wrong. Every creature on the planet has to feed to survive. Most kill. We only take a little of what we need. There is nothing to be ashamed of.”
She shook his hand off almost absently. “Maybe to you, but you’re used to it. You’ve been doing this for how long now?” She glanced up at him, eyebrows raised, but he didn’t answer. She snorted. “Chicken. You really must be a geezer. I thought only women were sensitive about their age.”
Geezer? He shook his head in disbelief. Was there nothing she wouldn’t say? No one had ever spoken to him this way. Most were awed by his obvious power and wouldn’t dare tease him, but this small fledgling didn’t even seem to notice it. 
“I’m very old,” he told her. “After a while, the number of years doesn’t seem important. I’d rather not remember them all. But I am not sensitive about my age, lit—” She shot him a warning look and he grinned at her. “You asked for it,” he commented innocently.
“I think you’re the one asking for it,” she growled. “I have a name. Use it, will you?”
Eli shrugged and led her down the street. He found himself reluctant to call her by her name. It was easier to contemplate slaying “‘the fledgling” or “the Outcast” than to think of her as Renee, a person. He sighed inwardly. He had to keep his distance, and he wasn’t doing a very good job of it when he kept teasing her at every turn just to see her temper flare and delighting in her irreverent comments. It would only make it harder to do what was required should it be necessary.
He’d taken several steps when he realized she wasn’t following. He glanced back. “What?”
“Would it be too much to ask where we’re going now?” Renee stood with her hands in her pockets, clearly uncomfortable. “I mean, I did the whole neck-biting thing. We’re done now, right?”
Eli walked back to her. He still felt her weakness and hunger. She needed far more blood than one human was capable of providing. “You know you haven’t fed nearly enough. It won’t do you any good to stay in a perpetual state of weakness.” She shifted, looking past him again. She muttered something he couldn’t understand even with his supernatural hearing. “What?”
“I said I hate this!” she cried, then turned her back on him and wrapped her arms around her waist. 
She didn’t hear him approach and jumped when his hands closed gently around her shoulders. “You will get used to it,” he said, trying to soothe her.
But she stepped away from him, clearly not wanting his comfort, and he allowed his hands to fall away. “I remember when you bit me,” she whispered after a long moment. Her hand came up and covered the side of her neck protectively. “It was awful.”
“I’m sorry,” Eli said, and he meant it. It had been fully within his power to reach out to her that night and ease the pain and terror of the Outcast’s attack, but he hadn’t done it. Yes, he’d been busy fighting and trying to save her, but it would not have been the first time he had divided his attention during a battle. He simply hadn’t thought of it.
She shook her head and he saw her brush at her cheeks angrily. “Now I’m doing the same thing to someone else and I hate it.”
“You don’t hurt them,” Eli told her, stepping closer again but not touching her. This woman should never have been a vampire. He knew it in his soul, and the guilt he felt threatened to choke him. “I stay in their minds as you feed. They don’t feel a thing and they won’t remember it. You don’t have to worry about—”
She whirled to glare at him. “You can do that and you didn’t do it for me?” 
Eli took a deep breath before forcing himself to reply, to again take responsibility for what the Outcast had made her suffer. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, burning for the Outcast’s blood for this. “It happened too fast. I didn’t think.”
Renee stared at him in outrage, her eyes bright with angry tears. “You didn’t think,” she repeated. “Oh, well, that makes it all okay, doesn’t it? You didn’t think.” She held up her hands when he started to move toward her again. “You stay the hell away from me. I hate you right now. You said I could leave whenever I wanted, and I want to. Just leave me alone!”
He shook his head, breaking his promise. How many more lies would he be forced into to keep this fledgling safe? If she left his protection no one would take her in but the Outcasts, and he simply couldn’t allow her to turn. Not when he’d spent so much of his eternity fighting them.
Eli dropped his voice and threaded a gentle compulsion through his words when he replied. “You know you won’t survive on your own. You cannot leave yet.”
She covered her ears as though to block him out. He felt her struggle to speak, to throw off his power. It surprised him how strong she was for one so young, even now when she was badly in need of blood. 
“Leave me alone!”
Gentle compulsion was not working. She was much more strong-willed than he’d given her credit for but his voice was a weapon and he used its full strength now. “You will calm yourself,” Eli told her, each word a command too beautiful and pure to be ignored. “You must stay with me a while yet, little one. You do not fully comprehend the dangers of your new world.”
Renee felt each word shiver through her body and couldn’t fight her way free. He was right, of course. She had to calm down. Fighting with Eli wouldn’t do her any good—she only had to look at the man to know she was no match for him. And where exactly was she planning to go, anyway? She couldn’t exactly drop back into her normal life. Even if she hadn’t had a job requiring her to move about in the day, she’d surely lost it by not calling in and letting them know she was going to be gone for a few days. She had no money, no sanctuary, no friends except for this strange man who insisted on taking care of her. Sian said Renee needed his protection, and surely she wouldn’t have lied.
But when he spoke again to command her to follow him and feed, something inside her utterly rebelled. Renee resisted his compulsion with every ounce of strength she possessed. The pain was incredible, unexpected, her mind splintering as she fought to break free, but she ignored it. 
“No!” she managed to choke out, hardly aware of falling to her knees in agony. She hated this, despised sinking her fangs into defenseless throats, detested the very thought of drinking blood. Was she truly a blood-sucking fiend now?
The pain ceased almost at once. She opened her eyes to find herself crouching on the pavement in another alley, her hands cradling her head, with Eli kneeling beside her. His eyes were troubled as he searched her face. 
“No,” she whispered again, trying to scoot back away from him. “You can’t make me do this.”
He looked at her for a long moment more before he finally sighed. “I won’t make you do this,” he corrected gently. “We’ll find another way to get you what you need until I can teach you how to control the emotions of your prey. Then, perhaps, you won’t be as averse to feeding.”
Gratitude overwhelmed her. She didn’t care that he offered only a temporary reprieve. Anything was better than following him through the dirty streets, finding winos passed out in doorways and biting them. Smelling their rank breath and body odor as she leaned close, feeling their rough whiskers abrading her lips, their skin oily with lack of bathing—she would rather starve than do it again, no matter what Eli did to her.
“I’m not going to do anything to you,” he said impatiently as he helped her to her feet. “I didn’t intend to hurt you. You brought it on yourself when you fought me.”
Renee blinked up at him in surprise. “You can read my mind?”
He brushed her off with the impersonal efficiency of a mother dusting off a toddler who had fallen on the playground. It was an odd notion to apply to him. “I can do lots of things,” he replied, still sounding irritable as he gave his usual non-answer. If he ever actually volunteered information, she might have a heart attack. 
She ignored his tone and pulled away from him, finishing brushing the dust off her clothes herself. She really despised it when he treated her like a child. “Stay out of my head,” she snapped. It was too unfair for him to have so many advantages. Knowing what she was thinking was the last straw.
“Trust me, it’s no fun in there,” Eli snapped back. “The things you think about me are hardly flattering. We’re not monsters.” He sounded very offended.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “You can’t complain since you’re the one peeking into my private thoughts.” She filled her mind with every unkind name she’d ever heard and made up a few more for good measure. He must have been the school-yard bully when he was a child. She could just see him pushing the other kids around. She pictured a stern-faced school principal grabbing a white-haired boy by the ear and dragging him off the playground. “Want to look now?”
Unexpectedly Eli laughed. “No, I don’t think I do,” he said, shaking his head. “Something tells me it would be like leaping naked into a nest of vipers.”
She snorted again and straightened her sweater with several hard jerks, wishing he hadn’t made her think of him naked. “Serves you right. And of course I fought you. Don’t expect to get your way all the time with me. You’re spooky, but you’re not that spooky.”
He stared at her, obviously taken aback by her reply. Renee refused to back down even though it took all her determination to hold his black gaze. Okay, so he really was that spooky, but she refused to start her new life as a doormat. She set her jaw and waited, determined. He wasn’t going to intimidate her into speaking first this time.
After a moment, Eli shook his head again. “Has it never occurred to you that I’m fairly dangerous and you should be afraid of me?” he asked, and she wasn’t sure if he was asking just to get a reaction from her or out of genuine curiosity. He seemed truly puzzled by her apparent lack of awestruck terror.
Apparently he hadn’t done much digging when he was sniffing about in her mind.
But she would never, ever admit that to him. Renee raised her chin. “Sian told me I didn’t have to be afraid of you,” she said, surprised to hear the truth coming out when she had fully intended to throw a scathing comment at him instead. She wondered if he had done something to her to compel the truth. It definitely seemed within his abilities.
“Well, that’s a surprise,” Eli murmured as his eyes slid away.
“What?” Some of her anger bled away. Something about his expression…she couldn’t tell if he was amused or saddened.
He shrugged, giving her no clues. “Sian is afraid of me. Always has been.”
“She told me that too,” Renee admitted, allowing him to lead her out of the alley again. “You know, you might try setting her at ease or something.”
“You think I haven’t?” 
She bit her lip at his tone. She had no trouble reading his expression now. “It bothers you, doesn’t it?” she asked softly.
Eli stopped and looked down at her. It was the same look he’d given her when she’d asked about his hair. “Why would you think that, little one?”
Another non-answer. Two in a row now—the man was full of them. All right, he was one of those macho men who refused to talk about their feelings. She could take a hint. “You’re back to the ‘little one’ thing again,” Renee reminded him as he walked ahead of her. “Are you needling me on purpose?”
“Now why would I do something like that?”
She groaned. “Would it kill you to actually answer a question from time to time?” 
Eli glanced back at her and she definitely saw a twinkle in his eyes this time. “What do you think?” 
She glared at him, but her lips were twitching despite her frustration. He was actually teasing her. This man who had all but told her to fear him was standing there teasing her. “You’re bad,” she told him, shaking her finger at him.
“So I’ve heard,” he agreed. “Now come on. We need to pay Diego a little visit.”
Chapter Four
Renee stopped dead. “You’re joking. No way am I going back there.”
Eli ran a hand through his hair as he searched her face. She crossed her arms and raised her chin. The man really shouldn’t be allowed to use his x-ray stare on her. She wondered if he was reading her mind again. It wasn’t fair. She pulled up the bully-on-the-playground image again just in case.
“You’re afraid of Diego, and you’re not afraid of me,” he remarked as though to himself. “There’s something new.”
“Well, he did try to kill me,” she pointed out, remembering how he had burst into the bedroom where she had been talking with Sian. “You haven’t, at least not yet. All you do is call me insulting names.”
“I do not insult you.”
“Fine. You call me little one and I’ll call you the Big Kahuna. Fair enough?”
Eli burst out laughing again. Without another word, he drew her into a darkened doorway and turned them both into mist again. This time Renee paid closer attention to the image he held in her mind as they shot across the sky. 
How long until I can do this on my own? she asked, entranced by the sensation of flowing through the night.
Probably never. Enjoy it while it lasts.
She bristled at his absolute surety. Who said she couldn’t learn this? The word of the Big Kahuna is law, I take it. Why do you think I can’t learn how to do this? You think it’s too hard for little ol’ me?
His laughter rumbled in her mind, almost unbearably intimate. Yet another thing he shouldn’t be allowed to do. Renee would have shivered if she had a body. 
I will rephrase. I will be extremely impressed should you learn to do this. Perhaps when you’re as old as I am, you’ll have a chance at it.
And how would I know when I’m as old as you? Renee replied sweetly. When I’m older than dirt? Old as the hills? When I start referring to Egyptian mummies as youngsters? Oh, wait, I know. When I get too sensitive about it to tell anyone how old I am, that ought to be just about right.
Eli laughed again. Anyone ever call you a smart-aleck? 
Only those with a death wish, she shot back, but she was laughing now too. She didn’t know why she couldn’t resist ribbing him. He was right, she really should be terrified of him, but the harder she pushed him the more likely he seemed to be to laugh it off.
If only he hadn’t been the one who had bitten her, Renee might actually grow to like him.
Eli caught the thought and sighed inwardly. The memory of being bitten was clearly traumatic for her. He wished again he’d thought to calm her during the wild attack, or at least to erase the memory promptly, but it was too late now. It was deeply embedded in her psyche, all entangled with her subsequent actions. Trying to erase it now would cause too much mental distress.
He flatly refused to think about her liking him. No one liked him. No one had in more years than he cared to remember.
He brought them to a landing on Diego’s vast front lawn and turned to Renee. “Why don’t you wait out here for me?” he said, remembering Diego’s reaction when he’d found Sian speaking with her. “I won’t be long, and it’s a nice night.”
She wasn’t fooled by his light tone and shot him a speaking look. “Don’t bother with the niceties. I know I’m not welcome, and trust me, I have no desire to see that man again. He wants me dead and he’s not shy about letting me know it.”
Eli ran a hand through his hair, hating that she was right. Hating this prejudice she would have to deal with for the rest of her life, however long it might turn out to be, and knowing he couldn’t do a damn thing about it. “Well, he might change his mind,” he replied, shrugging. He heard her mutter something about snowballs in hell and smiled a little. “But until he does, stay here.”
“Happy to.”
Eli walked onto the porch to knock, knowing Diego was likely already aware of his presence. Diego opened the door before his knuckles touched the wood and glared out into the night. “I know you didn’t bring that thing back to my home,” he growled, his sharp green eyes searching the darkness for Renee. 
Eli sent a cloaking spell out and made sure Diego didn’t find her. “I need to talk to you.” He ignored Diego’s reluctance to admit him and simply pushed his way inside. “I have a problem.”
“Good! You should have a problem for once.” Diego slammed the door behind him and crossed his arms. “Well?” 
Sian emerged from the den and smiled at Eli. “Welcome, Eli,” she said, shooting her bondmate a quelling glare. “Where’s Renee?”
“Outside,” Eli said, sending Diego a look of his own. “I need James to get some blood for me, Diego.”
Diego rolled his eyes and let his head drop back, the very picture of exasperation. “He actually expects me to feed the Outcast again,” he told the ceiling. “He must be insane.”
“Honey,” Sian murmured reproachfully. Then she turned to Eli. “Of course James will get you what you need,” she said, ignoring Diego’s look of outrage. “Now, you said there’s a problem. What is it?”
“She won’t feed.”
They both blinked at him. “What?”
Eli sighed. “She won’t feed,” he repeated wearily, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’ve had to use compulsion twice to force her, and now she’s even resisting that. She’s so weak she’s on the verge of fainting all the damn time and she still won’t bite a human. I have to find some other way to feed her.” 
No one said a word for a moment. Diego stared in blatant shock. Eli couldn’t resist scowling at him. “So there’s your evil Outcast spawn, Diego, so afraid of hurting a human she’d rather starve than bite one. She’s clearly a danger to society and all we hold dear, wouldn’t you say?”
Diego shook his head slowly. This was clearly the last thing he’d expected. “Well I’ll be damned.”
“It’s likely,” Eli shot back.
Sian ignored him and linked her arm through her mate’s. “I told you. I told you she’s harmless, but did you listen to me?” Diego shouted for James and didn’t answer her. She snorted. “He can never admit when he’s wrong,” she told Eli.
“Woman, you’re pushing your luck.” 
“You say that like it’s something new,” Eli murmured.
She laughed, completely unintimidated by her mate’s scowl. “I’m going to let her in. There’s no reason to make her stand out there in the cold.”
Eli watched Diego release Sian, watched her slip through the front door. “Don’t you want to go out there and make sure my fledgling doesn’t rip your mate’s head off?” Eli asked acidly. “She’ll probably pass out when she’s done, but who knows what damage she could inflict first.”
“All right, all right, enough already. I’m not going to apologize, if you’re waiting for one.”
Eli raised an eyebrow. “The world might end before you apologize for anything. I would never think of asking you to do something so completely against your character.” 
“Yeah, well, I learned it from you, Eli.”
Eli fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Give her a break, will you?” he said, tired of fighting with Diego. “It might turn out all right.” He desperately wanted it to be all right. Just once, let him train a fledgling and have it turn out all right. “Don’t make up your mind until you’ve given her a chance. That’s all I ask.”
James stuck his head in through the doorway. “You need me, Diego?”
Diego turned to him rather than answering Eli. “I need you to pack up all the spare units of blood we have and give them to Eli. You just went to the blood bank, didn’t you?”
“This afternoon,” James confirmed. He looked concerned. “Who’s hurt?”
“No one.” 
James looked from one to the other before walking toward the kitchen. “Okay,” he said as he passed them. “You two slow down now. This overload of information just has to stop. There’s only so much I can take in at once.” He was still muttering as he disappeared into the kitchen.
Diego sighed. “There are times I truly wish that boy was afraid of me.”
“It’ll never happen,” James called back from the kitchen.
Sian came back inside, closing the front door quietly behind her, and glared at her mate. “Well, Renee’s afraid enough of you for both of them.  She won’t come in.”
Diego shifted uncomfortably at her obvious disapproval. “What do you want from me, Sian?” he asked, throwing up his hands. “You don’t want me to protect you? You want me to let an Outcast in the house and—”
“I want you to go out there and invite her in!” Sian interrupted him.
Eli shook his head. “I’m betting that’s not going to happen,” he said, watching Diego’s face darken. “Besides, I think there’s a very good chance she’ll bolt if Diego sets foot on the porch and I’d rather not have to chase her down. She doesn’t have the energy and I don’t have the time. Leave her be, and we’ll be gone in a minute.”
Sian turned to Diego, hands on her hips. Diego glared at Eli. “You see the trouble you’ve caused?”
James came back in carrying a cooler. “Here you go, vampire take-out.” He handed it to Eli. “Enjoy.”
“Thanks,” Eli said, trying not to smile as Sian scowled at the much larger, much more powerful Diego. It wasn’t every day he watched a fledgling take a thousand-year-old high-blood vampire to task—in fact, it might be the first time anyone had dared take the Head of the Council to task. He wished he could stick around to watch Diego try to get out of this, but he had to take care of Renee. He opened the lid to the cooler and peeked inside to hide the amusement in his eyes.
“Not enough?” James asked, misunderstanding his silence. “Come back tomorrow. I’ll have some more for you then if you need it.”
Eli inclined his head to the Steward. He lost the battle to hide his amusement and grinned at Diego, who was still glaring as though Eli was the root of all evil. “Bye, Sian. Have a nice night, Diego.” He was out the door before Diego could reply.
Renee stood to the side of the porch, rubbing her arms. Eli frowned. She truly must be weak if her body wasn’t regulating its temperature automatically. Vampires never felt the cold. 
“All done?” she asked, glancing down at the cooler in his hand. “What’s in there? You needed a six-pack for the football game tonight or something?”
He laughed and shook his head. “This is for you, not me,” he told her. He took her hand and launched them into the air.
Renee clutched at him and gave a little squeak at the sudden rush of wind as their feet left the ground. He laughed again. “Mist doesn’t scare you, but this does?” he asked as she buried her face in his shoulder and tightened her arms around his neck in a virtual death-grip. 
“I can’t imagine it would hurt much to hit the ground when you have no body. Don’t you dare drop me!”
“Drop you? I don’t think I could pry you off me with a crowbar,” he teased, but he wrapped his arm securely around her waist anyway. “Don’t worry, little one. I haven’t dropped anyone yet—at least, not accidentally.”
“Oh, how reassuring,” she mumbled, wrapping her legs around his thighs. 
“What’s the problem? Don’t you trust me?”
“Not even a little!” 
Eli tightened his grip on the handle of the cooler and fixed his mind on his destination. Joking with her wasn’t helping to distract him. She was all soft curves and warm skin. All her limbs wrapped around him, her breath tickling his neck and her heart thundering against his chest, he couldn’t help but notice her appeal. Her hair whipped in the wind, sliding over his face and throat like a thousand caresses and surrounding him with her scent. He couldn’t help but relish how perfectly his arm fit around her waist and how very good her legs felt around his.
He scowled at himself. This was not the way he was supposed to think of her!
When they landed near the stone outcropping in the cemetery, he expected her to leap away from him, but she didn’t loosen her grip one iota. He dropped the cooler and reached up to carefully unlock her arms from around his neck. “We’re back on the ground, little one. You can let go now.”
Renee stumbled back and his arm shot out to steady her. She knocked it away and braced herself against a tombstone instead. “Has it ever occurred to you to warn someone before you do something like that?” 
He just shrugged in the face of her temper, pretending a coolness he didn’t feel. Nothing on him felt cool at the moment. “I suppose I could in the future,” he said, maintaining the detached façade with an effort. “Now I need you to move for a second.”
She looked at him warily. “Move where?” 
He made a shooing motion with his hand. “Away from that particular grave. I need to open it.”
Renee gaped at him for a moment before scrambling toward the outcropping. “I am stuck in a cemetery with a vampire grave-robber,” she muttered to herself as she leaned heavily on it. “This is going way too far. I know I do not want to see this.” But she couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away and kept on staring, dismayed.
Eli laughed, unable to resist needling her again. “Yes, stay over there. Be sure to keep your hand on the rock. The undead zombies can’t get you if you’re touching base.” 
She glared at him and invited him to do something very rude. He only laughed again and laid his hand on the tombstone. He spared a second to glance back at her once more. “You wanted to be warned before I did something,” he said, solemn but for his laughing eyes. “Have I warned you adequately?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “The intention was for you to tell me what you’re actually doing. I will be very surprised if an undead zombie really comes out of there.”
He grinned. “See, you do trust me.” 
More aware of her gaze and amusement than he wanted to admit, he sent a little surge of power through the stone. The ground suddenly heaved, then erupted in a geyser of dark soil. Renee gasped behind him as an ancient-looking casket floated up to hover right in front of him. He reached out and casually opened the lid before placing the cooler inside. Another soft echo of power shot from his hand through the gravestone and the entire process reversed itself, the casket vanishing down into the dark hole, the scattered soil flying in to cover it. Within moments it was finished, leaving no sign the earth had ever been disturbed.
Eli turned to look at Renee only to find her right beside him. She reached out and ran her hand over the tombstone. “That was very cool. How’d you do it?”
He raised his eyebrows and tried not to notice how her touch on the stone was almost a caress. His body tightened as she trailed her fingertips over the engravings. Damn it all, was he jealous of a tombstone now? This was getting seriously out of hand. “It didn’t scare you?”
Renee waved a hand dismissively, still examining the stone as though looking for a secret trigger. “The zombie thing was a bit much, even for you. It’s like a dumbwaiter, right? This is how you get stuff inside. I was wondering.”
He smiled. “The zombies unload it for me downstairs,” he assured her. She stuck her tongue out at him and his laughter echoed around the deserted cemetery as two streams of mist disappeared into the fine crack in the stone outcropping.
 
* * *
 
Renee stumbled again when they reappeared in his entry hall but she quickly straightened when Eli turned his black eyes on her. Knowing another lecture about feeding was coming, she tried to change the subject. “How do you do the coffin thing?” she asked, saying the first thing that came to mind. “Can you teach me? It’s got to be a hit at all the parties.”
He looked at her steadily. “You can’t learn anything while you’re weak and malnourished.” 
She sighed. She should have known he wouldn’t be distracted that easily. “I’m not biting anyone,” she told him, crossing her arms and lifting her chin. “I won’t do it and you can’t make me.” The words were out before she realized how childish they sounded but she didn’t bother trying to take them back. It wasn’t childish not to want to hurt people, no matter what he thought.
“I don’t think you’re childish. Did I ever say you were childish?”
She glared at him. “Get out of my mind, mister.” She imagined beating him over the head with a baseball bat, held the image hard in her mind. “Got it?”
His lips twitched. “You are a violent creature,” he said, shaking his finger at her. “And here I am, doing something nice for you, trying to make your life easier.”
He turned and walked down the hall. Renee followed, intrigued. “What’s going to make my life easier?” She knew she was doing exactly what he expected by following, but she couldn’t help her curiosity.
He led her into a small den without answering. Candles flickered to life as he passed. She looked around. She’d never been in here. Two walls were covered in bookshelves while another was taken up by an enormous fireplace, the wood stacked inside awaiting only a match to flare to life. She briefly wondered where the smoke went as she admired the comfortable-looking overstuffed sofa and matching armchairs. Another exquisite Persian rug lay invitingly before the dark fireplace—he had quite a collection of them, it seemed. The entire room exuded calm, quiet, comfort. She liked it instantly.
Eli walked to the far wall and pulled a tapestry aside, revealing packed earth instead of stone. He touched it with a fingertip and triggered a sudden explosion of dirt. The elegant room was abruptly full of flying soil, couches and bookshelves showered with wet earth. A huge splash of mud landed right in the middle of the priceless Persian rug. An arc of soil sprayed out into the hall, coating several of his statues and dripping down the walls. A few of the candles fell over and spluttered out as large clods hit them. Renee couldn’t even duck before she was covered from head to toe in muck. “Oh, ha ha,” she said as she wiped off her face, but she was grinning. “You’re messy, anyone ever tell you that?”
Eli grinned back at her and held out his arms, turning in a complete circle. “I’m not messy, I’m perfectly clean,” he replied, all innocence. Not even a speck of the flying dirt had touched him. “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Renee couldn’t help laughing at him. Right now he reminded her of a little kid, delighting in playing in the dirt. For someone who was supposed to be this all-powerful, terrifying ancient vampire, Eli certainly liked to play. She wondered why Sian had told her Eli didn’t get along with anyone. Who wouldn’t like him when he acted like this? 
She stepped forward as he entered the shallow cave that had appeared in the wall and watched him lift the casket’s lid. He removed the cooler and stepped out, waving a hand to call the soil back into place. Renee lifted her arms as it flew off of her. Within seconds she was clean again and the room sparkled. Not even a trace remained of his rather spectacular mess. “Neat trick. Mothers of little boys would pay good money to have you teach them that.”
“If I ever need a second job, I’ll keep it in mind.”
Renee laughed again and walked over to him. “What’s in the cooler?” 
He smiled at her and opened it. She looked inside and saw several plastic bags of blood nestled between ice packs. “I told you, I’m trying to make your life a little easier.”
Renee smiled gratefully, still staring hungrily at the bags of blood. She hadn’t wanted to admit to him how ravenous she really was, hoping to avoid another lecture on biting people, but the sight of the blood made her fangs lengthen and ache. “I can eat this way from now on?” she asked hopefully.
He took her arm and led her to the couch. She sat and watched him go to a little bar built into one of the bookshelves. He stashed a couple of the bags in a little refrigerator there and grabbed a goblet from a rack before carrying the cooler back over to her. “Not forever,” he said as he pierced the corner of one of the bags with a lengthened fingernail. Renee couldn’t seem to look away as he poured it into the glass. “When humans donate blood, they have to put an anticoagulating agent into the bags. It’s not particularly good for us. Vampires don’t react well to most chemicals. It won’t hurt you every once in a while, but you don’t want too much of it in your body.”
Renee took the goblet from him and raised it to her lips, drinking eagerly. The cold, metallic, slightly rubbery taste surprised her and she made a face. There was only the faintest hint of the flavor she had expected. “Ew,” she complained, but she drank the rest. She was too hungry not to.
Eli shook his head at her and perched on the arm of the sofa. “You’re picky, anyone ever tell you that?” he asked, taking the glass from her and refilling it. “It’s best right from the source. You decide what you prefer.”
Renee wrinkled her nose as she took it back and held her breath as she drank. She was already feeling much better. The blood tingled as it flowed through her veins, soaking into starved tissues and bringing her strength even as its chill made her shiver. “It’s probably an acquired taste,” she told him in a slightly choked voice, handing the glass back. “I’m sure I’ll get used to it.”
He rolled his eyes and reached for the third bag. “Don’t get too used to it. I’m not going to do this for you forever. Too many missing units from the local blood banks is not a good thing for a community of vampires. We don’t want to be noticed.” His dark eyes were serious as he looked at her. “You have to learn to feed properly, little one.”
She stared into the glass as he gave it back to her again. “Your wish is my command, Big Kahuna,” she retorted, trying to work up the nerve to drink more. “Have you ever thought about how weird this is?” she said, swirling the blood in the glass like a fine wine that needed to breathe and hoping it would improve the taste. “I mean, the blood-drinking and everything, it’s too strange. How in the world did vampires ever come into being? Are we descended from leeches and mosquitoes or what?”
Eli raised an eyebrow at her, not deigning to comment on her “big Kahuna” remark. “Finish up. We have other things to do tonight.”
Renee smiled at him. She was actually getting used to him avoiding her questions. “Come on, give,” she said, putting off drinking the blood as long as possible. “You’re such an old fogey, I’m sure you know. Where did vampires come from?”
Eli closed the cooler and took it and the empty bags to the bar. “I bet you were the kid who always played with her food.”
Renee’s brows drew together at his avoidance of a pretty simple question, but she shrugged and took another big gulp. He didn’t seem to answer any questions he didn’t absolutely have to. A shudder worked its way down her spine as she drank and her eyes watered. “This stuff gets worse instead of better the more you drink,” she coughed. “Shouldn’t my taste buds be dead by this point?”
Eli crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the arm of the couch. “You’re probably getting too much of the chemical in your system. Finish that and you’ll be done for the night.”
“Fine with me,” she muttered. She held her nose and chugged the rest at top speed, well aware of Eli’s amusement. He took the glass from her when she was done and she watched as the traces of blood coating the sides simply vanished. “Look, Ma, he does dishes too,” she couldn’t resist teasing.
He groaned and released the goblet. It flew back to the bar and slid into its place on the rack. “Saints preserve me, she’s feeling better,” he sighed in mock-resignation.
Renee laughed. “What? You can dish it out but you can’t take it?”
Eli raised an eyebrow at her. “Can you be serious for five minutes? I need to start teaching you some things.”
“Hey, I’m not the one who made the wall explode. Compared to you, I am perfectly serious.” He gave her a doubtful look and she grinned. “Go ahead, Professor Nosferatu, teach away. I’m all ears.”
“You’re all mouth, and everything that comes out of it is disrespectful,” Eli shot back, but his eyes danced with amusement. Renee bit her lip as she looked at him sitting there, his lean body relaxed, his platinum hair flowing unbound down his back and his dark eyes sparkling as though stars were trapped in their depths. She found herself staring at his mouth, which curved with just a hint of a grin. It was entirely too sexy. He really shouldn’t be allowed to look like that. She had never seen a man look so sexy in her entire life and she knew he wasn’t even trying. She couldn’t help but want to drool and sincerely hoped he wasn’t reading her mind right now.
If he was, he didn’t give any sign of it. “The most important thing for you to learn is how to control your prey. I think you won’t have trouble feeding when you are assured you’re not hurting them.”
Renee made a face. All the nice things she’d been thinking about him went flying out the window. “I think I’ll always have trouble grabbing a perfect stranger, tearing a hole in their neck, and sucking down their blood. I’ll never be a good vampire. It’s not exactly what I always hoped I’d be when I grew up.”
He shook his head. “Half your problem is in the way you think of it. Listen to yourself! When you put it that way, it sounds pretty bad to me, too, and I have no problem feeding.”
“Bully for you.”
Eli sighed. “Picky, feisty, and cranky,” he grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. “How did I get myself into this again?”
“You’ve got no one to blame, bud. I certainly didn’t ask you to bite me.”
He shot her a quelling look. “Focus, will you? You’re going to have to practice on me because I think Diego would flip if we tried to use James, and I don’t have a Steward of my own. Concentrate and—”
Renee’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m not going to bite you, Eli. No way.”
“Damn right, you’re not. You will never bite me,” he said, the last traces of amusement vanishing. “You’re just going to practice reaching out to another person’s mind to send a suggestion. That’s all. Do you think you can close that smart mouth of yours for one minute and try to do what I say?” 
Renee pressed her lips together and glared at him. It was good to know he was as disgusted at the thought of her biting him as she was.
But a part of her called her a liar. Biting Eli would be nothing like biting one of the smelly vagrants he’d led her to before. She couldn’t resist a glance at his strong throat. The faint beat of his pulse beneath the skin teased her heightened vision. Her body heated as her fangs tried to lengthen again despite the blood she’d already taken. Renee imagined his pulse throbbing beneath her lips, her tongue; pictured drawing his warm essence into herself as she pressed close to him. There was something intensely sexual about the thought. A shiver ran through her at the unexpected clarity of the image and her pulse kicked into high gear. No, she didn’t think she’d have a hard time biting him at all.
Eli closed his eyes as he felt her first surge of power brush his mind. She was indeed thinking of biting him despite his warning and her protests, and the tone of her thoughts was decidedly sensual. His breath caught at the mental image of Renee in his arms, her mouth hot on his throat as his hands moved over her soft body. The fantasy was so clear he could almost hear her moans of pleasure as he cupped her breasts. He forced himself to open his eyes, trying to break the spell. Her eyes were narrowed, her lips slightly parted, and a light blush stained her cheeks. A wave of heat surged through him and settled in his groin. For an instant, the temptation to drag her against him, to tilt his head to the side and let the erotic image become reality, nearly overwhelmed him.
Eli shook his head hard to clear it. “Enough,” he said, and he was surprised at the husky tone of his voice. She raised wide topaz eyes to his and he saw the echo of her thoughts there, her eyes warm and sexy as liquid gold. The insane image of her looking up at him like that in his bed burst over his mind and his entire body tightened. He cleared his throat and wished it was so easy to clear his mind. “Don’t do that again,” he said firmly, trying to forget that too-alluring image. “You can’t think of me that way.”
Renee blushed scarlet. The rush of hot blood to her cheeks triggered his own hunger, making him all too aware he had not fed tonight. The surge of bloodlust did nothing to help calm his libido. 
“I thought I told you to stay out of my mind,” she whispered, looking past his shoulder at the wall.
“I wasn’t looking in your mind, little one. You sent the image to me.” 
If it was possible, her blush deepened. He felt his fangs press against his lips at the promise of her warm blood, but he closed his eyes and forced himself to continue. “There are some who prefer to feed while having sex. If you need to—”
Renee leapt from the couch and glared at him. “It’s bad enough that I have to drink blood. I won’t be a whore!”
He sighed and pressed his fingers to his temples as the force of her anger made his head pound. He hadn’t particularly cared for the suggestion either. “I never called you that.”
He heard her gasp and opened his eyes as her emotions shifted in a heartbeat. Intense fear radiated from her now, and her face had gone pale as milk. 
“What?” he asked, straightening and scanning all around them for danger, but he didn’t find anything that might cause such terror. “What is it?”
Only then did Eli realize she was staring straight at him. It was the first time she’d ever looked at him with real terror. 
“Don’t bite me again,” she whispered, covering her throat with her hands. “Please, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”
He realized she’d seen his fangs when he’d spoken and panicked. The terrible memory of the Outcast’s teeth tearing into her throat screamed through her head with such force he didn’t even have to try to touch her mind to feel it. Eli forced his hunger down until he felt his fangs retract before he spoke again. 
“I won’t bite you, little one,” he promised soothingly, infusing his voice with the urge to calm down, the assurance that she had nothing to fear from him.
Some of her color came back but she still backed away. He stayed sitting, not moving, trying not to seem like a threat. 
“Why the fangs?” she asked, her hands still cupping her throat protectively. “If you’re not planning on snacking on me, why get all vamped up?”
“I haven’t fed tonight.” He continued to use the magic of his voice to reassure her. Her wide eyes and her trembling hands told him it wasn’t working. He knew well the look of fear. Seeing it on her face quenched his desire more effectively than a bucket of ice water. “It wasn’t intentional. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I won’t hurt you, little one.” 
Renee nodded and bit her lip, but she didn’t come any closer. 
He stood slowly, watching her reaction. She watched his every move warily but didn’t run. “I won’t bite you,” he repeated. “Never. Not to feed, not as punishment, not for any reason. Do you understand?”
She nodded slowly but didn’t remove her hands from their protective positions around her neck. “Why don’t you go feed?” she suggested, clearly trying for calm. The trembling of her voice betrayed her.    
Eli stepped to her side. “I will. You’ll be all right here on your own for a few hours?” She nodded again but didn’t look at him. He touched her hair gently. “Sian was right, you know. You don’t have to fear me.”
Renee didn’t move until he was gone. Then her legs went out from under her and she sat down hard on the stone floor, shaking with reaction. She had no doubt the erotic images she’d imagined had awoken this in him. How could she have thought those things about Eli? More than that, how could she ever have started to feel comfortable around him? 
Because she had. She’d joked with him, completely at ease in his presence, but she had to remember that the man who’d sprayed dirt all over his home simply to make her laugh was the same man who had brutally bitten her. The teasing and laughter were only a part of who he was, one facet of an infinitely complex whole. An ancient vampire, a powerful man who had lived through things she’d only read in history books.
She’d forgotten that. She shouldn’t have been shocked at the sight of his fangs, but she was. Despite everything she’d seen and done tonight, she’d actually forgotten he was a vampire.
It was a long time before she could make herself move to go into her room. When she did, she locked the door behind her and tucked a thick towel beneath it to stop any mist from seeping in.
Just in case.
Chapter Five
Renee woke with her stomach cramping and her veins on fire. 
She moaned and rolled off the bed. Hunger and nausea beat at her in turns and every part of her body felt like it was roasting. Each beat of her heart sent agony searing through her. Her stomach clenched, rolled, ached. She crawled toward the door to the bathroom, not thinking clearly, fighting the pain and nausea with all her strength.
She collapsed halfway there. “Eli,” she whispered, forgetting last night’s fear as the vague memory of him easing the pain of her barely-remembered Change urged her on. She had to get to the door and unlock it. He could help, she was sure of it. If only she could get to the door—
The door flew open and suddenly Eli was there, rushing to her and scooping her up from the floor. She cried out as the movement sent another wave of fire tearing through her body. “What’s happening to me?”
“You’re having a bad reaction to the anticoagulant,” he told her as he carried her back to the bed and laid her gently down. “Rest easy, little one. I will help you.” He rested one hand on her forehead and the other on her stomach and Renee felt the pain cease instantly.
But she had only a brief second of relief before her stomach heaved. “I’m going to be sick,” she moaned, trying to roll away from him.
He pulled her back and eased her head over the side of the bed. “I know. You have to get it out.” A basin suddenly appeared in his hand and he held it for her as she closed her eyes and emptied her stomach, retching again and again. Even when it was over she didn’t open her eyes. She didn’t want to look at the mess or see his disgust.
“Don’t be silly,” he told her gruffly, and she felt him wipe her face with a cool cloth. “The bagged blood made you sick. Some vampires simply can’t drink it. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”
Renee curled up in a miserable ball, too weary for the moment to even care that he was reading her mind again. She didn’t want it to be true. No matter what he had told her, no matter that the stuff tasted horrible, she’d hoped she would be able to survive on the donated blood. 
“Maybe if I drank it a little at a time,” she whispered hopefully. After all, she’d had three bags last night. Surely she was merely a little overloaded. It didn’t have to mean she couldn’t ever have any more, did it?
Eli brushed her hair back from her face and shook his head. “No. I’m sorry, little one.” 
She wanted to cry at the finality in his voice. Couldn’t he be wrong, just this once? She felt too tired and feeble to knock his hand away and let herself enjoy the soothing sensation of him stroking her hair. “My name is Renee. Just once, can you call me by my name? You never do. Why?”
He was silent and after a moment, she opened her eyes to look up at him. “Eli?”
He ran his fingers through her hair again and sighed. “You’re going to have to find a way to hunt. I know you don’t want to, but there’s no other way. If you want to live, you have to hunt.”
He wasn’t even going to give her question a non-answer. Renee rolled away from him, unaccountably depressed by his continued refusal to use her name. Her life had shifted so drastically in the last few days that it would have been comforting to hear someone call her by her name again, just to remind her of who she had once been. 
His voice came from behind her shoulder, answering her unspoken thoughts. “You are still yourself. Nothing anyone can do to you can alter who you are.”
“Get out of my head.” The retort was automatic, but her words lacked spirit. She felt like she’d just lost a vicious battle and she wasn’t up to verbal sparring yet. She lay there for a long moment, feeling him still there on the edge of the bed where he’d sat to care for her. “Thank you for helping me,” she made herself say.
Eli looked at her back and ached with sympathy. She didn’t sound very feisty right now, and much as he’d complained about her smart mouth, he found that he missed her sass. Damn, he wished he could make this easier for her. 
Diego was right. This woman should never have been Changed. Her entire life as a vampire would be one long struggle against her nature.
He squeezed her hand briefly, then stood. “I will always help you. That is what a sire does, little one.” He left her then, sensing her desire to get dressed and regain her composure.
Guilt tormented him as soon as the door closed behind him. Was it really too much to ask for him to use her name? He wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping his distance. Why did he think calling her “little one” all the time would help if he had to destroy her? He already knew it would be hard. He liked her laughter too much, enjoyed the way she taunted him, liked the way she always rose to the bait when he teased her. She’d grinned like a kid when he’d sprayed her with dirt last night where another woman would have been outraged. His lips curved in a reluctant smile as he thought of her calling him “Big Kahuna” in revenge for his insistence on calling her “little one”. It was completely ridiculous, but no one else would ever even consider calling him such a thing. 
The smile faded and he ran a hand through his hair. It was already too late for distance. She was a person, not some anonymous fledgling, and she deserved to be treated as such. And if he did have to put her down in the end…
He would do what he had to do. It was all he’d ever done.
Eli heard her shut off the shower a few moments before the faint click of the bathroom door closing floated to him. “Renee?” he called.
There was dead silence. He was about to call again when she opened her door so suddenly he almost fell in on top of her. Only his supernatural reflexes saved him, but she hardly seemed to notice as she stared up at him, wide-eyed. 
“Oh, someone pinch me, I don’t believe it. You actually used my name. I was beginning to wonder if you were physically incapable of doing it.”
“Ha, ha,” he said, glad to see the return of her saucy mouth. “I just wanted to tell you to dress up. I’m taking you dancing.”
She raised an eyebrow, but he saw the amusement in her eyes. “I take it this is another educational field trip. Do I get to learn the secret handshake and all the classified vampire dances?” 
Eli shook his head at her. “Just get dressed,” he told her before pulling the door shut between them.
Renee all but skipped to the closet. It was silly to feel happy simply because he’d finally used her name, but the feeling refused to fade. She dropped the towel and robe and hummed to herself as she opened the lingerie chest.
Twenty minutes later, she bit her lip. She had just discovered a distinct problem with being a vampire. She opened her bedroom door and glanced around. “Eli?”
His door opened and he stepped out. “What?”
Renee didn’t reply. She couldn’t. Eli stood there looking like every woman’s guilty fantasy, his eyes catching the candlelight and turning it into a thousand stars. He wore black. Black silk shirt stretched over his broad shoulders, tight black jeans which made her mouth water, enormous black boots. The sleeves of his silk shirt were rolled back, revealing tanned and muscular forearms, and the top two buttons were open to expose a tantalizing hint of golden skin. 
She swallowed hard and forced herself to look back up at his face. His hair was caught neatly at the nape of his neck, a platinum cord falling down his back. She had thought him devastating with his hair down but somehow tying it back emphasized his chiseled features, heightening her awareness that he was much more than he seemed. A predator, no less dangerous for this thin veneer of civilization. Good Lord, she thought vaguely, how can any man possibly look that good? 
Eli smiled slightly and Renee realized she was staring, but she couldn’t seem to stop. His sexy little grin didn’t help in the least. Didn’t the man realize he was sexual dynamite when he smiled? 
“You needed something?” he prompted when she still didn’t speak.
Oh, yes, she needed something. She needed the rest of those buttons undone, she needed his hair unbound and wrapped around her fingers, she needed that gorgeous mouth on hers and that body in her bed, and she needed all of it right now. 
“Hmm?” Renee purred, lost in her fantasy, and the sound brought her sharply back to the present. Damn, she sounded like an idiot—or a sex-starved nympho. “Oh, yes, I did,” she hurriedly added, suddenly aware of her disheveled hair and bare feet. Of course she would look like a wild woman in the presence of temptation personified. Her gaze traveled over him again, unable to resist one last ogle. “I need to see my reflection so I can pin up my hair and do my makeup.”
Eli really wished she would stop looking at him like that. She was such an enticing combination of vulnerable and sexy standing there in her short skirt and snug blouse, her dark hair tumbling down over her shoulders and her bare toes curling into the carpet. Her hungry eyes raked his body like she wanted to devour him, and heaven help him, he wanted to be devoured. He felt her gaze with every cell of his body and took a deep breath. He had to tell her to stop looking at him that way. 
“You don’t need any makeup,” he murmured, his voice caressing every word. “And you definitely shouldn’t put your hair up. Why would you want to hide its glory?” 
What the hell? Where had his distance gone?
She blushed. It looked incredible on her. He stepped closer, his feet seeming to move of their own accord. 
“You’re very kind, but I need makeup.”
“I’m never kind.” His fingers caught her chin and tilted her face up for his scrutiny. Her skin was flawless, her cheeks charmingly pink, her golden eyes framed by long black lashes and glittering like jewels in the candlelight. He had never seen anything more lovely in all the numberless years of his life. “You don’t need to add a thing,” he assured her again, his voice a low rumble. “You’re beautiful. There’s no way to improve upon perfection.” 
A tiny voice in the back of his head was screaming protests. What was he thinking, telling her these things? He never said things like that. He was supposed to be discouraging her, not spouting sappy compliments!
Renee blushed again and bit her lip, and Eli stopped listening to that voice. His eyes focused on the little movement and time stopped. Her lips were very red, full and lush and almost irresistibly inviting. Hadn’t he once thought her mouth was made to be worshipped? 
By the stars, he could think of a thousand ways he wanted to pray…
Eli actually leaned closer before he came to his senses. What the hell was he doing? She was his fledgling! He snatched his hand away from her soft skin and stepped back before this stupidity went any further. 
“Get your shoes,” he told her, jamming his hands into his pockets, and he sighed in relief when she blushed and disappeared back into her bedroom.
But he felt more like swearing. He had almost kissed her. He closed his eyes and ground his teeth, forcing himself to admit the truth. He had wanted to do far more than merely kiss her. Had it been so long since he’d last had a woman that he couldn’t control his lust? This was utterly, completely, stupendously wrong and it had to stop right now. Eli took a deep breath to steady himself. If only she didn’t look so damn good it would make his life much easier. 
This was going to be a long night.
Renee came back a moment later, strappy heels on her delicate feet and her hair tumbling over one shoulder, shining from a quick brushing. He was absurdly glad she’d left it down. 
“Ready,” she said, glancing at him as though she’d already forgotten what had transpired in the hallway. He sincerely hoped she had. “Are you going to tell me tonight’s assignment or am I to guess?”
Despite himself, Eli smiled. “You make it sound like Mission Impossible.”
“If you’re going to try to get me to bite any more homeless drunks, it certainly will be impossible,” Renee replied sweetly. “I’d rather go hungry. I have to tell you, they’re smelly and completely unappetizing.”
Last night she had certainly found him appetizing. 
Eli angrily shoved the thought away. He didn’t want to remember that, especially when she stood beside him looking like pure hot sex in that short skirt and high heels. Renee had terrific legs for such a petite woman, slender and shapely and finely muscled. He couldn’t help imagining them wrapped around him and welcoming him home. 
“No more homeless drunks,” he promised, leading her toward the entryway and looking resolutely ahead as he tried to get a handle on his runaway libido.
Then what? she asked as they shot through the fissure and out into the open sky.
He guided them toward the busy nightclub district without answering. Instead of landing in an alley or darkened alcove this time, however, the two streams of mist darted inside one of the clubs. Eli took them back over the stage, past the band playing a Prince cover with more enthusiasm than talent, and through a gap in the stage door to the band’s tiny dressing room.
Renee shivered as her body shimmered back into being. “Well, that’s one way to get out of paying the cover charge.” 
She looked around the cramped room to keep from staring at Eli. It did no good. It didn’t seem to matter if she stared at him or not. She felt him as acutely as if he’d been pressed against her. From across the hall he’d stolen her breath, but this close he made her entire body shake. 
He reached past her and started to open the door. She caught his arm and tried to ignore the shiver that went through her at the feel of his warm skin beneath her fingers. 
“Eli.” He looked at her, his dark eyes guarded, and she let go of him. “I know this isn’t a date. You want me to do something. Tell me what we’re doing here.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a look which made her instantly wary. He looked like he fully expected trouble and was preparing for it. “Last night,” he said, and those two words instantly made her face heat. She clenched her fingers together behind her back and didn’t look away despite her embarrassment, and he went on without a pause. “You did everything right. You know you can reach another’s mind, and your compulsion was powerful. There has to be someone here in this club you wouldn’t mind getting closer to.” He held up a hand when she started to protest. “I’m not suggesting you bed anyone. You don’t have to look like that.”
She felt like her cheeks were going to catch flame. She knew he wanted her to use sex to feed, no matter what he said. “Back to hunting again.”
“I’m not hungry, Eli. Take me home.”
He shook his head. “You can’t lie to me, little one. I can feel your hunger. I will be nearby if you need me,” he said, putting a hand on the small of her back and giving her a gentle push. When she didn’t move, he reached past her again and opened the door. “Go on, Renee. You can do this.”
His voice caressed her name, made it beautiful. She stepped forward quickly, trying to deny the heat spreading through her body at the touch of his hand and the warm caress of his breath on her ear. “I’ll try,” she heard herself say somewhat breathlessly, and she wondered if he was using compulsion on her again.
But finally she sighed and forced herself to look around the club. If he was compelling her it was only for her own good, even if the method he suggested made her blush to think about it. Not knowing quite where to start, she slowly made her way through the writhing mass of dancers toward the bar, wondering absently if she could have a drink without bringing a repeat of the awful pain she’d felt upon wakening today. Right now she really, really wanted a drink.
“Hey there, gorgeous! Can I get you something?”
Renee turned at the voice, smiling automatically at the young man who had stopped beside her. “Sure, thanks,” she said absently as the young man pressed a cold bottle into her hand. She barely glanced at him as she scanned the crowd for Eli. With his height and distinctive hair he should have stood out easily, but she couldn’t find him. 
“I’m Tom,” the man said, smiling engagingly at her. 
Abruptly she remembered what she was supposed to be doing. “Renee,” she replied, looking at him. Tom was good-looking enough, but she didn’t feel any urge to snuggle up to him. She clenched her fingers around the beer bottle and wished Eli hadn’t left. She didn’t think she could do this alone, no matter what he said.
“Want to dance?” Tom asked as a slower song started up, bringing her out of her thoughts and back to the present.
“All right,” she accepted, biting her lip. Dancing would be good. Maybe if they danced close enough, no one would notice when she bit him. She let him pull her into his arms on the crowded dance floor and tried to calm her sudden nervousness. What if she did it wrong and he yelled, attracting everyone’s attention? 
She pushed her doubts resolutely away. She had to find a way to feed. She swayed in time with Tom, barely listening to him. The music was so loud he had to shout in her ear. She nodded absently at him, giving him a smile which felt totally fake, trying to remember what she’d done last night to reach Eli. 
When she was as ready as she was ever going to be, Renee took a deep breath and gathered her courage. With her high heels she was almost on eye level with Tom and she gazed into his eyes, remembering how she’d reached out and felt Eli’s mind last night and trying to find Tom’s in the same way.
He stopped speaking right in the middle of his sentence. Renee almost lost her focus in her surprise. He still moved with her in the rhythm of the dance, although he was clearly unaware of where he was or what he was doing. He was completely hypnotized. 
All at once her hunger leapt to life and her fangs lengthened in response. You won’t feel anything. She pushed the thought hard at him, trying not to remember the pain of Eli’s fangs slashing her own throat. She felt her own fangs sharp against her lip and leaned closer, directing Tom to draw her against him. He obeyed without hesitation and didn’t even twitch when she pressed her mouth to his throat and bit him.
His hot, living blood hit her like a fireball, sweeping through her body and wiping every thought from her mind. Only her directive that Tom continue dancing kept them moving as Renee closed her eyes, letting the relief of his blood flowing into her wash through her as he moved her around the floor. As the first rush faded, Renee slowly came back to herself, instinctively keeping a firm hold on his mind, reassuring herself he felt nothing. Elation rose in her heart. She could do this!
The song ended and she pulled away, not wanting to take too much from him, but she realized she didn’t know how to close the wound on his neck. Eli had always done it for her. She covered the little punctures with her hand and looked around for Eli, but she still didn’t see him. 
Suddenly, the warm wetness beneath her palm evaporated. When she lifted her palm, his neck was completely unblemished. 
What the hell? Eli was nowhere to be seen. How in the world?
Tom still stood frozen beside her, looking blank, and she made herself concentrate on the task at hand. “Go home and eat a big meal, Tom,” Renee murmured in his ear, releasing him from her spell. “No more partying for a few nights for you.”
“Sure,” he replied dreamily. “Bye now.” 
Renee watched him walk out of the club, making sure he didn’t stumble or look too weak. She smiled in relief. She had done it.
She couldn’t wait to share her triumph with Eli. But as she looked around for him, someone grabbed her arms in a bruising grip right above the elbows. Her joy evaporated in a surge of alarm as she tried to spin around to see who had grabbed her, but his grip prevented it. 
“You are very bold,” a menacing voice growled in her ear. “Did you think no one would notice what you did?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” she gasped, trying to pull her arm away. There was no way this stranger knew what she’d done. Half the couples on the dance floor were necking. She was certain she and Tom had looked exactly like the rest of them.
“You would have caused quite a stir in a moment, leaving him open to bleed,” the cold voice continued. “I can’t allow that, you know.”
This guy wasn’t making any sense. Tom’s wound had been closed when she’d released him, and Renee hadn’t created any stir. In fact, apart from the cold man, no one had noticed her at all. “What do you mean?”
Rather than answering her, he jerked her back by her arm. Renee tried to dig in her heels as he dragged her through the club. “Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing? Let me go!”
Her captor didn’t even seem to notice her struggles. She stared hard at his broad back, trying to reach his mind as she’d reached Tom’s. 
He laughed low and even with the ear-splitting music she had no problem hearing him. “Nice try, but I’m not that easily manipulated.”
Before Renee could try anything else, he pushed through the back door and shoved her out into the alley. She stumbled when he released her arm and tried to bolt back inside, but the heavy door had already latched behind them, locking her outside with a psychopath. She whirled and faced him, so furious she was momentarily unable to speak.
She found herself staring at a man who could have been torn from her nightmares. Blond hair crowned a handsome face twisted with hate. He glared at her with inhuman, cat-like eyes filled with a rage too powerful for anyone to contain and keep their sanity. A snarl bared his fangs, overlarge and vicious. 
Suddenly things made a lot more sense. No wonder he’d known what she had done on the dance floor. Maybe he was angry because she’d messed up and hadn’t closed the wound on Tom’s neck fast enough. It was obvious now who had done it for her. 
“Who are you?” she asked, determined not to show fear. Angry he might be, but he had helped her escape detection inside.
“Ronin.” He reached beneath his coat and whipped out two wicked, serrated daggers. “Any more questions before I slay you, Outcast?”
She gaped, stunned and horrified. She remembered Eli mentioning Ronin’s name once, but he had said nothing to prepare her for this. Ronin took a step closer and she tried to back away, only to find the door at her back. 
“Don’t,” she gasped as he raised the long daggers high. It was the only word that came to her shocked mind. “Don’t!”
He didn’t even seem to hear her. Renee watched the blades slashing down, the streetlights glinting off razor-sharp edges, and couldn’t even close her eyes. There was no time to dodge. All she could do was watch her end rushing to meet her.
Suddenly her view was blocked by a black wall. There was a ringing clash of metal on metal and she heard Ronin swear viciously. “Damn it, Eli, get out of my way!”
Eli. Renee went limp with relief as she realized the black wall was his back. She had no idea how he’d managed to get between her and Ronin in that split second, but she was immensely grateful.
“I can’t let you slay my fledgling, Ronin,” Eli replied, his voice completely calm in the face of Ronin’s murderous rage. Renee glanced cautiously around him and saw the blades of Ronin’s daggers were clasped in Eli’s bare hands. 
Ronin snarled and tried unsuccessfully to pull his daggers free from Eli’s grasp. “Don’t try to give me this crap about her being yours. She’s a damn Outcast. I can smell it on her!”
“She’s not an Outcast,” Eli replied, still calm. “You’re wrong.”
“The hell I am.” Ronin saw her looking at him from behind Eli and bared his fangs at her again. “You might have Eli fooled, but you won’t always have him around to save you. And I’ll be waiting, Outcast. That’s a promise.”
“Ronin.” Eli’s voice was commanding, dangerous. It echoed down the alley like a pronouncement of doom. Renee cringed at the promise of violence in his tone. “Don’t make me fight you. Leave her alone.”
Ronin made a sound of deep disgust and pulled at his daggers again. This time they slid free from Eli’s hands with a screech like fingernails on a chalkboard. Ronin spat on the ground and stalked off down the alley without another word.
Only when he was gone did Eli turn around to look worriedly at her. “Are you hurt?”
Renee ignored his question and grabbed his hands, turning them over and touching his palms. They were completely unmarked, but he’d caught the daggers in his bare hands! By all rights they should have been slashed to the bone. She stared at them in awe. “How did you do that?” 
“Renee.” He pulled a hand away and tilted her chin up, clearly thinking she was hysterical. “Where are you hurt?”
“I’m fine,” she told him, but abruptly she wasn’t. A shudder worked its way down her body as she remembered watching those daggers driving toward her, remembered the certainty of her impending death, and she slumped against the door with her arms wrapped around herself. She had almost died at the hands of another vampire—again! The realization squeezed her heart painfully and tears filled her eyes. She hadn’t done anything to anyone, and every vampire she’d ever met with the exception of Sian wanted her dead. Even Eli had threatened to slay her on her very first night as a vampire. “Why do you all want to kill me?”
Eli sighed and drew her into his arms. “I don’t want to kill you, little one.” 
She shoved at his chest, suddenly furious. “Don’t give me another one of those vague answers. That’s not what I asked you and you know it. Diego and Ronin both tried to kill me on sight and I want to know why!” 
Eli released her and put his hands in his pockets. “Ronin must have felt you feeding. In truth, I think every vampire in a three block radius probably felt it. You need to ease up on the power a little, Renee.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to hide her trembling. She had never been more terrified in her life, and it had been completely unexpected. The pure hatred on Ronin’s face haunted her. “Stop trying to change the subject. You said Ronin felt me feeding. How does that translate into trying to kill me? And why did he call me Outcast?”
Eli sighed but she didn’t let him off the hook. She wouldn’t be put off this time. “We’ll be more comfortable elsewhere,” he said. In the next moment, they were airborne.
Renee yelped and grabbed him as the ground fell away beneath her feet. Eli wrapped his arms around her, grateful for the excuse to pull her near. When he’d seen Ronin drag her out the back door he’d felt something he’d never before experienced. 
Fear.
He knew there was no way Renee would admit to needing comfort, but he needed to hold her. After she’d pushed him away, this was the only way he thought she’d let him do it. He didn’t want to look at the urge too closely, but he couldn’t have stopped himself if he’d tried. 
It was his fault she’d been in danger in the first place. When Renee had drawn her prey out onto the dance floor, Eli couldn’t force himself to watch. He’d slammed the doors to his mind, not wanting to touch her thoughts and find desire for another man there—and that was the ultimate insanity, because he was still trying to convince himself he didn’t want her to desire him, either.
And while he’d been standing in the shadows wrestling with his thoughts, Ronin had crept up behind her and had almost dragged her out of the club before Eli had chanced to look up again. He’d barely gotten to her in time. Eli tightened his arms around her as they flew across the city, cloaking their passage in darkness, hardly aware of where he was going in his relief that she was all right.
Finally he landed on the outskirts of town where the city ran into the wild woods. Renee pulled away from him as soon as their feet touched the ground and he let her go. 
“Nice flight, but I can tell you’re still trying to get out of answering me,” she accused him, trying to pace beneath the trees but swearing under her breath when her heels sank in the mossy ground.
Eli took her arm to steady her as she pulled the heels off. “Truly, I’m not,” he said, adding another lie to his growing list. “But you complained earlier about how bad the winos smelled. I thought the aroma in the alley would probably be bothering you too.”
She shot him a glare. “Give it a rest, Eli. I’m not stupid.”
He led her to a fallen log but she only crossed her arms over her chest and waited for him to speak. He put his hands back in his pockets, fighting the urge to smooth her little frown away with his fingertip. The urge to touch her beat at him. What was this insanity? He hated that kind of contact, any kind of contact. He spent a great deal of time avoiding it. Why this sudden yearning for her touch?
Eli brought his mind back to the present with an effort. Unfortunately, the best way to get his mind off touching her was to finally answer her questions. “You asked what the term Outcast means.” 
“And why Ronin called me one.”
He nodded. “There are basically three groups of vampires, if you want to break it down into the most basic of terms,” he told her, choosing his words with care. “There are the Outcasts and the Guardians’ League, and there are also those who choose not to get involved in the war between us.”
“Us,” she echoed. “I take it you’re one of these Guardians?”
He nodded. “I was once the Head of the League’s Governing Council, and though I’ve stepped down from that position, I remain a Slayer.”
Renee stepped back a little. She didn’t want to think of Eli as a Slayer. The term conjured up images of cold-blooded killings and sent shivers down her spine. 
“Why did you step down?” she asked, not sure if she really wanted to know.
Eli shrugged. “I did something that some thought unethical. Diego demanded that I step down and I didn’t see any point in fighting. When I left, I gave the position to him.” He grinned at her, a trace of his wicked humor returning. “You could call it revenge.”
“Diego’s in the League?”
“Yes. Diego’s mate and Ronin are, as well. We patrol San Francisco for Outcasts. Other Slayers guard other places.”
Why did it seem these Slayers were targeting her? She hardly dared to look at Eli. “Are you going to try to kill me now, too?” 
Eli shook his head at once. “No, of course not. You’ve done nothing wrong, Renee. You’ve broken none of our laws.”
Which implied that if she did break one of these laws, whatever they were, he might very well kill her. His own threat to slay her if she killed echoed in her mind. She rubbed her arms and shivered from a chill which had nothing to do with the cold. “The Outcasts,” she said, striving to keep her voice level. “Why are you at war with them? What are they? A rival League or something?”
“Nothing as simple as that,” Eli replied, his voice dark. He rubbed the back of his neck as if he was considering how to explain it to her. “They are the lawless ones, completely without conscience. They have no Clan, no code of honor. They prey on humans without mercy, not even bothering to try to hide what they are from them. They like the fear and the kick of adrenaline in the blood. The League is dedicated to protecting the world from the Outcasts.” He shrugged at her look of horror. “When we find one, we kill it.”
She shivered at the calm way he spoke of killing another vampire. “Why would Ronin think I’m an Outcast?”
Eli rolled his shoulders, trying to ease the tension setting in there. He had to be careful now. He had told her he was her sire. She didn’t need to know he’d lied. “He felt you feeding. He must have assumed—“
“But I did hide what I was doing!” 
“I know,” Eli reassured her quickly. Heaven knew it had been hard enough to get her to feed at all, and now that she’d finally succeeded, he certainly didn’t want her thinking she’d done it wrong. “You did everything perfectly, Renee. You didn’t hurt anyone. Ronin was simply mistaken.”
She didn’t look convinced. “He said he smelled it on me.” Her voice was soft, musing, almost as if she were talking to herself. She looked back up at him. “He seemed awfully sure of it, Eli. If I did something to provoke him, I need you to tell me what it was. I don’t want to have other vampires reacting this way to me for the rest of my life. What did I do?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he repeated, wishing he knew how to convince her. Wishing he could tell her she wouldn’t face this reaction for the rest of her life and knowing she would. “You’re not an Outcast. Never that.”
She shrugged. “Diego thought the same thing,” she murmured, turning her back on him and staring into the dark forest. Eli felt her fear and didn’t know how to comfort her. 
Finally she turned around and looked up at him. “You need to teach me to fight. Ronin’s right. You won’t always be there to save me. I need to know how to defend myself.”
He nodded slowly even as the thought of her fighting for her life made something inside him rise up and howl in protest. “All right,” he agreed, reaching out and drawing her back to his side. She pressed her face against his shoulder as he stroked her hair. Touching her felt right, natural, and he knew he should avoid it. He didn’t have the will to push her away. “All right, little one. I will teach you.”
“Tonight?”
Eli considered for a moment before shaking his head. “I want you to feed a little more first. You haven’t been at full strength once since your conversion. Take what you need tonight and we’ll start your training tomorrow.”
She sighed, clearly remembering Ronin’s reaction when he’d felt her controlling the human’s mind as she fed. “If I don’t get murdered in the meantime,” she sighed to herself as Eli launched them back toward the city.
Chapter Six
Renee ground her teeth in frustration and fought the urge to throw the mother of all tantrums.
It wasn’t fair. She had never been clumsy in the past. She’d always been athletic, had considered herself coordinated, a fast learner. Still, no matter how hard she tried, no matter what she did, every single time Renee sparred with Eli, she lost.
Badly. 
But he was standing there watching and she refused to act even more childishly in front of him. It was bad enough to know he’d caught her fuming. “Again,” she snapped, falling back into the fighting stance he’d taught her and ignoring the aching of her muscles from the unaccustomed exertion. It took a lot to make her vampire body sore, but Eli’s workouts were brutal and every part of her hurt. She pushed the discomfort aside. She would keep trying until she succeeded, damn it. She wasn’t a quitter.
They had been practicing every night for three weeks. Surely soon she would land a blow. Just one. That was all she asked.
Eli kept his face perfectly neutral as she waited for him to move, her feet planted wide for stability, knees slightly bent, arms held ready before her. He felt her frustration and didn’t try to comfort her. He couldn’t comfort her because then she would know what he’d done. Why she failed.
He was being a bastard and he knew it, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. 
Without warning he lunged, grabbing her wrist and using his superior strength to resist her countering twist and pull, which would have broken anyone’s grip but his. 
She switched tactics, moving with him when he pulled her toward him. The move should’ve thrown him off-balance and left him open to the blow she aimed at his face. He simply threw his body in the same direction as hers, avoiding the palm-heel with ease. A quick jerk on her arm brought her hard against his chest again with her arm trapped behind her back. 
She tried to lunge away, to bend at the waist to release the pressure on her shoulder as she spun, but again he didn’t let her. Her other arm quickly joined the first behind her back. He held her effortlessly, not hard enough to hurt her but firmly enough to let her know she was trapped again.
“Damn it!” Renee shouted, butting his chest with her forehead, hard. Eli winced. With her new vampire strength, it was a blow that could easily have broken ribs. Well, he supposed he deserved it.
He held her an instant too long, then frowned. He’d been doing that a lot lately. He really needed to stop. “You will get better,” he murmured as he forced himself to release her and step away, his bare chest tingling from the contact with her skin. “You just need more practice.”
It was the same thing he’d told her every night after he’d sabotaged her confidence a little more.
Yes, he was being a bastard, Eli thought as he watched her turn to the punching bag hanging in the corner and pound it furiously. She was good. He wouldn’t let her know it. She had a natural flair for this, a grace and ease of movement which showed in every punch, every block, every trick he’d taught her to free herself from an attacker’s grasp.
Yet he made sure she failed at every turn.
Eli knew he was impossible to defeat. She didn’t. He’d been a warrior far too long, longer than she could possibly imagine, and his strength was insurmountable. She would never break his grip unless he allowed it and would never land even a fingertip on him unless he let her. He stole into her thoughts and read her intentions before she even moved. There was no way she would ever surprise him. He had every advantage and he used them. When they sparred, he didn’t hold back and engage her like an Outcast would. If he had, she might start to think it was time for her to leave, to start a life without him.
And that was something he couldn’t allow. Not yet.
Renee kicked the bag viciously, pouring all her anger into it, and it exploded into a thousand fragments of reinforced canvas and sand. She stood staring at it, breathing hard, fists clenched, and Eli fought down the guilt rising in his chest. Bastard, that small voice in the back of his head whispered again, and he sighed.
She turned at his sigh and bit her lip when she looked at him. His disappointed sigh made her heart constrict. Renee took a deep breath, trying to calm her temper. She hated being so inept at this. He was trying hard to teach her and she couldn’t even do the simplest throw right. He must be every bit as frustrated as she was.
And now she’d destroyed his punching bag. “Sorry.”
He waved a hand. “Don’t be,” he replied with the sexy little smile she both loved and hated. “Besides, I can fix it.”
“I’ll just keep breaking it, so you don’t get bored,” Renee said, trying for humor.
“Little one, I don’t think I could possibly get bored with you around.”
She bit her lip at his solemn tone. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
Eli laughed and crossed his arms over his chest in a mouth-watering ripple of muscle. “When I figure out the answer to that, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
She had to turn away. His laugh was the final straw. It wasn’t fair. The more they sparred, the better Eli looked. Renee hadn’t perfected forcing a reflection yet, but she was pretty certain she knew what she looked like. Red-faced, hair escaping the braid meant to keep it out of her eyes, sweaty and generally nasty.
But not Eli. The first day she’d met him in this work-out room she’d almost had a heart attack at the sight of him standing there in gray sweatpants riding low on his lean hips and a tank top which exposed a chest and arms too chiseled and perfect to possibly be real. How was she supposed to learn anything when confronted with over six and a half feet of mouth-watering masculine perfection? Every time he’d touched her it had sent her thoughts scattering. She’d barely been able to concentrate at all.
Now he wore the same gray sweats, but tonight he’d dispensed with the tank top. It wasn’t fair, she thought again as she watched the punching bag reassemble itself before her eyes. Could he possibly be oblivious to the effect all that bare skin had on her? His body was golden, every inch of his smooth skin stretched taut over hard muscles which rippled with every movement. It was too hard to struggle free from his holds as it was, and now every time she looked at him she wanted to be pinned. 
When the bag swung back onto its hook and hung intact from the ceiling once more, Renee turned and faced him again. 
“All right.” She sighed, running a hand over her hair and trying without much hope to tuck the stray strands behind her ears. “Let’s go again.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to call it a night?”
She shook her head firmly, even though she wasn’t relishing the thought of being defeated with such ease again. She sensed there were still several more hours until dawn. 
She straightened her shoulders determinedly. “I have to learn. And you said I needed more practice. So let’s practice.”
He shook his head as she crossed the room to stand before him. “No, I think that’s enough for tonight. I don’t—”
Suddenly furious, Renee struck without warning. Her foot caught his ankle and pulled his leg out from under him as she jammed her hand in the center of his chest, shoving with all her strength. He toppled backward and she felt a brief surge of triumph before his other foot struck the back of her knee, sending her crashing down right on top of him. Still trying to maintain the upper hand, Renee caught his wrists and pinned them to the mat above his head. She grinned at him. 
“Finally got ya!” she crowed.
Eli smiled as he looked up at her. “Do you?” 
It was all the warning she had. Eli flipped her onto her back, turning the tables completely. Where a heartbeat before she’d mistakenly thought she’d pinned him, now Eli loomed over her. His body pressed against hers from chest to knee as his fingers wrapped around her wrists and held them to the padded floor on either side of her head. 
“I win. Again.” 
But Renee had forgotten all about sparring. The feel of his body against hers was enough to drive every sane and rational thought from her head. Her breasts tightened and heat spread through her, quickening her pulse and stealing her breath. His hair was loose and the platinum strands tickled her throat and shoulders. She tried to raise a hand to thread through it before remembering he still held them to the floor.
The reminder that she was helpless beneath him sent a shivery thrill through her entire body. She didn’t even try to get free. There was nowhere on Earth she would rather have been.
The smile slowly melted from his lips and his eyes darkened. His muscles tensed against her and she fought not to moan. “Stop it,” he whispered.
“Stop what?” Renee asked, unable to look away from those midnight eyes. God, she could drown in those eyes, get lost and never find her way free. Kiss me, she thought, but wasn’t brave enough to say the words aloud. 
His head lowered as if he’d heard her thought and she wished she dared to lean up and close the distance between their lips herself. He took a ragged breath and when he spoke again, the low rumble of his voice sent shivers through her. His heart pounded against her breast in a rapid pace which kept time with her own. “You can’t look at me like that.”
She closed her eyes. Somehow, not seeing him while every inch of her body pressed against his only heightened the eroticism of the moment. “I can’t?” she whispered, hardly aware of what she was saying, only wanting to prolong this moment. Kiss me, she thought again, every cell yearning for him.
“You have to stop,” he said, and she trembled as the words flowed along the line of her jaw. She gasped when his teeth scraped the tender skin there. He growled again, his mouth moving to her ear. 
“I’m not—not looking at you,” she whispered as she tilted her head to the side and he drew her earlobe into his mouth. His tongue flicked and caressed, and molten heat pooled low in her belly. If he didn’t kiss her soon she was going to die, she knew it. 
He shuddered against her. “You can’t think of me this way,” he ground out, and she knew he’d either touched her mind or she’d sent her desire straight to him. When his mouth covered hers, any last shreds of rational thought disintegrated. 
Her lips parted at once and she moaned at the hot and utterly masculine taste of him. Tongues dueling, twining and caressing, the kiss was hot and wet and utterly decadent. She tried to lift her hands, to put her arms around him, but his fingers tightened around her wrists and held her captive. 
This was no tentative first kiss. There was nothing cautious about the way he explored her and nothing shy in her uninhibited responses. He took her mouth as though it was his right, and she reveled in the taking. She arched beneath him, needing to feel more of him, her tongue teasing his, following his lead before pulling back to draw him into her mouth to play. His deep groan mingled with her moan of pleasure. 
More! 
The single word echoed desperately in her mind and she didn’t know if the thought was hers or his. His hips pressed against hers and she whimpered, wishing he would release her hands and let her press him even closer. She slid her leg against his, caressing his calf with her bare foot. His body shifted to press intimately between her thighs and Renee wrapped her leg around his in invitation, wanting the promise of his passion more than she wanted her next breath. More, it’s not enough—
“No!”
Eli tore himself away from her and was across the room before Renee could react to the sudden withdrawal of such intense pleasure. She pushed herself up on her elbows, her entire body trembling, and watched him throw open the door. Surely he wasn’t going to leave without a word! “Eli?”
He spun and looked at her with such intensity she shivered. “That can never happen again,” he said harshly, running both hands through his hair and sucking in a deep breath. “Never, do you hear me? It’s forbidden!”
Renee somehow managed to get to her feet even though she wasn’t positive her knees would support her. When he spoke, she caught a glimpse of his fangs, but instead of terrifying her now the sight of them sent a thrill through her. Her kiss had unleashed the untamed, animalistic side of him, and she reveled in the knowledge that she had the power to do that to him. Her own fangs ached with a hunger which had nothing to do with blood. Why was he was pulling away? 
“I don’t understand,” she managed, trying to ignore her shaking knees.
He glared at her from the doorway and she stopped, realizing she’d been walking toward him. “What don’t you understand? I am your sire! I am supposed to be a father to you, not—not—” Unable to find the word he sought, he sent a furious look at the floor where they’d embraced a moment before. “It’s wrong!”
“You are not my father, Eli,” Renee said with a calm she did not feel. “Why must it be wrong? You took nothing I didn’t wish to give!”
His jaw clenched and his hands curled into fists. “It will not happen again,” he vowed through gritted teeth, and then he was gone.
Eli shot through the fissure to the surface and streaked across the sky, hardly paying any attention to where he was going, only knowing he had to get away before it was too late. Regardless of what he’d told her, every cell of his body knew he was not her sire. He didn’t stop until he was far, far from the city, high in the mountains. He sucked in great lungfuls of the bitterly cold air, trying desperately to cool the fire blazing in his veins. 
It was no use. He fell to his knees in the snow and pressed his fists against his temples. You took nothing I didn’t wish to give… He groaned at the very memory of her words. Sweet heaven, why had he kissed her? What madness had compelled him to do such a foolish thing? Her taste still lingered on his tongue, her scent clung to his skin, and Eli thought he would explode from the desire rocking his body. There had been no fear in her, no hesitancy. Just passion matching his own and taking him utterly by surprise.
What else would she have given if he hadn’t stopped when he had? 
He threw his head back and roared out his frustration and pain to the heavens, uncaring who might hear. He was a fool, a stupid, reckless fool who didn’t have any business acting as Renee’s sire. He never should have taken this responsibility. Didn’t he have enough proof that he was too flawed to be what she needed? 
Yet despite it all he’d brought her to his home, knowing she was doomed already and hoping that against all the odds he could save her. Hoping she would learn only what he wanted to teach her and not be influenced by what he was. 
He squeezed his eyes shut, hardly feeling the freezing wind whipping around him as he fought against the bitter memories. Hope. Why the hell had he ever thought to hope for anything? When would he learn?
Only the approaching dawn broke him from the hell of his memories and self-disgust and at last he returned home, his heart heavy and his body still burning for a woman he didn’t dare to touch again.
 
* * *
 
Renee woke with the sunset but didn’t get up. She closed her eyes and took a deep, fortifying breath.
She needed all the fortifying she could get before she saw Eli again.
His kiss lived vividly in her memory. The thought of it was enough to make her breath quicken and her knees tremble. She knew she hadn’t been the only one to feel the power of it. He had been every bit as desperate and aroused as she.
But he had the strength to walk away. 
Renee didn’t. She finally threw back the blankets and forced herself to get out of bed. She didn’t want to walk away. She wanted more.
She wanted…everything.
This rule about sires and fledglings seemed ridiculous to her. Eli wasn’t her father, no matter how much he wanted her to see him in that role, and last night had proved he certainly didn’t see her as a daughter. Did he honestly expect her to give up the incredible fire between them just because of some arbitrary rule? She wanted Eli, he wanted her. What else mattered?
Renee dressed with care, knowing Eli would likely take her to another club to feed as he had every night for the last three weeks. She’d gotten better at it, lightly brushing the minds of her prey—she still shuddered at the term—instead of blasting them and notifying all nearby vampires of her presence. She’d learned how to close the wounds made by her fangs and how to cloak her presence from humans. She knew how to slip away unnoticed should something go wrong. Still, for every skill she’d learned, there were a thousand more she still didn’t know. 
She fought that feeling of inferiority as she pulled on a velvet catsuit which almost matched the rich topaz of her eyes, deciding she’d had enough of black for a while. At the last moment, she wove her hair into a long braid and twisted it into a knot at the back of her head. Without a reflection she wasn’t sure exactly what she looked like, but she thought the sleeker look would suit the form-fitting catsuit.
Eli was waiting in the den for her. She wasn’t sure how she knew, but there wasn’t a doubt in her mind. She paused outside the doorway and took a steadying breath, trying to force herself not to remember their kiss or how devastating his body had felt against hers. 
When she stepped into the den, she looked everywhere but at Eli. She heard him get to his feet and the silence grew oppressive enough to suffocate her, but she couldn’t say a word. Whether she looked at him or not didn’t seem to matter. She felt his gaze on her as he stood and approached, but she merely stared at the tapestry on the back wall. 
Finally he took a breath and suddenly Renee knew what he was about to say. She beat him to it. “Don’t apologize. Don’t you dare.”
His dark gaze caught and held her. He wore all black again tonight, jeans and tee shirt and long leather duster, but his moonlight hair hung free over his shoulders. She thought she glimpsed a glint of silver at each hip before he shoved his hands into his pockets, drawing the jacket closed. He looked away first. 
“Let’s go,” he said, turning and leading her toward the entryway. “I didn’t take you out to feed last night. You must be hungry.”
Renee didn’t reply. What good was stopping his apology when he instead pretended it hadn’t happened? There was nothing to say. That kiss had been incredible, and she refused to regret it, even if he did.
Eli took them downtown and into a dance club without speaking. She didn’t try to break the silence. Renee walked away from him as soon as they materialized in a dark corner and he watched her go with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He’d hurt her, damn it. It was the last thing he’d wanted to do.
He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she moved through the crowd, her lithe body winding through the press of dancers. The vibrant catsuit hugged her curves. It was enough to make his mouth water. He watched her smile at a man who spoke to her, watched her follow him onto the dance floor and sway in time with the music as he wrapped his arms around her. Eli couldn’t force himself to look away when she leaned against her chosen prey, drawing him close before pressing her mouth gently to his throat.
Jealousy burst through him with staggering intensity. The man’s hands ran up and down Renee’s spine as she fed and his hips brushed suggestively against hers with every move he made. Eli’s fists clenched and his muscles ached from the effort it took to keep from rushing over there and tearing him from her arms. He closed his eyes against the unexpected but undeniable surge of rage. She’s just feeding, he told himself fiercely, trying to rationalize the fury away. She isn’t doing anything wrong. She’s only doing what you taught her to do. Get hold of yourself! 
But by the heavens, he hated it. There was nothing rational about it at all. 
Eli was moving before he even knew he intended to, cutting through the crowd separating them without even seeing the people he pushed aside. Every ounce of his attention was focused on Renee and the gentle motions of her lips against the man’s throat. He felt the tiny surge of power when she healed the man’s neck as he stopped beside them.
Renee released him from her mental compulsion just as Eli’s hand came down hard on his shoulder. 
“What?” he demanded, turning and glaring at Eli for the interruption.
“You’re finished,” Eli said, his fingers tightening on the mortal’s shoulder. “Go away. Now.”
The man looked like he wanted to argue but when he looked Eli up and down, he didn’t quite dare. He settled for a muttered curse and a glare as he released Renee and left the dance floor. Eli watched him go before turning back to her.
Renee looked up at him, wide-eyed in surprise. “Why did you do that?” 
He didn’t answer. Admitting to jealousy was out of the question, and he couldn’t think of any other explanation she wouldn’t see through at once. 
“Are you finished here?” he asked, but he hardly recognized his own voice. He hoped she was. The thought of watching her take another man out on the dance floor and hold him close—
Thankfully she nodded. Eli took her hand and led her through the crowd toward the club entrance, but she stopped before they reached the exit. He looked back at her questioningly. “What is it?”
Renee shrugged and he tried desperately not to notice the gentle sway of her breasts with the movement. Tried not to remember how they had felt pressed against his chest last night. She licked her lips and something inside him stretched so tight he feared it would snap. Eli cursed himself bitterly for his lack of control as he tried to force his thoughts back into something resembling what a sire should feel for his fledgling. He felt like he was losing his mind.
“—a drink or something?” she was saying, and he tried to focus on her words rather than how delicious she looked in that catsuit.
It was a losing proposition from the start.
“What?” Eli asked, realizing she was looking at him expectantly.
Renee shook her head at him. “You weren’t paying any attention to me, were you?” she asked, but she was smiling.
Oh, he’d been paying attention to her all right, but he certainly hadn’t been listening. The gentle curve of her smiling lips distracted him mightily and he couldn’t help but remember their taste. 
“Sorry,” he replied, extremely glad she couldn’t read his mind. “Say again?”
“I said, what’s on the agenda for the rest of the night?” Renee repeated. “I mean, we haven’t had a break since—well, since the beginning. I have no desire to go back and have you kick my butt some more. Would it be too much to ask to have a night out, have a drink and dance or something?”
Bad idea. Very, very bad idea. Eli started to tell her no but when he looked down at her he couldn’t do it. Her eyes sparkled at him like golden jewels, hypnotic in their beauty, and he couldn’t bear to see disappointment in them. He knew he’d been driving her hard over the last month. She’d done everything he’d asked her to do and instead of backing off, he’d only pushed her harder. Surely a night out wasn’t too much to give her in return. 
If she wanted to dance, he wouldn’t stop her. It didn’t mean he would have to dance with her, and there was no way in hell he would watch, but he wouldn’t stop her. “If you wish,” he sighed, giving in to the inevitable. 
Her brilliant smile lit the dark club and washed him in light. He felt a little dazed by it, but by now he was almost getting used to feeling that way around her. 
“Come on,” Renee urged, tugging at his hand and leading him toward the bar. “Let’s get something to drink.” Then she paused, seeming to consider. “It won’t make me sick again, will it?”
Eli shook his head. “Just one,” he cautioned, remembering how she had reacted to the anticoagulant in the bagged blood. “You should be fine with one.” He would make sure she was fine. She wanted it, and what she wanted, he’d provide.
He groaned as he realized the direction his thoughts had taken. He was thinking of her the way a vampire thought of his mate, not his fledgling. This had to stop!
Renee grinned again and pulled him toward the bar, ignoring how he dragged his feet. For a moment, she pretended nothing had changed, that she was still a normal woman out for a night of fun on the town, and even Eli’s obvious reluctance couldn’t bring down her mood. 
She glanced back at Eli. “What do you want?” she asked, beckoning to the bartender.
The heated look in his eyes made her blush. Good Lord, she thought vaguely, those eyes should be outlawed. But he only shrugged, finally releasing her hand and crossing his arms over his chest. “Nothing. I don’t want anything.”
She made a face. “Come on, you have to have a favorite drink.” 
“Well, now that you mention it, I do. B positive.”
Renee laughed. He’d been so solemn tonight she’d been afraid his rather odd sense of humor had gone into hibernation. “You’re on your own there,” she told him as the bartender stopped beside her and she ordered a pair of Bloody Marys. She held out a glass to him with a little smile. “Best I can do.”
“It’ll work.” He took a drink and she found herself unable to look away as he licked his lips. Yes, that mouth should definitely be outlawed right along with his eyes. Vivid flashbacks of their sizzling kiss filled her mind and she bit her lip, wishing she had the guts to grab him and kiss him again to refresh her memory. He set the glass on the bar beside her and bent closer. She drew in a sharp breath in anticipation but he only murmured in her ear. “I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”
She remembered he hadn’t fed yet and nodded, trying without success to ignore his breath on her ear. Shivers traced the length of her spine. 
It truly was eerie how Eli disappeared into a crowd. He moved through the crowded room like a breeze, untouchable. She knew he concealed his swords beneath his long leather duster but when he moved there was no hint at all of their presence. Women turned to watch him pass with appreciative glances he didn’t even seem to notice. Another two steps and he was gone. She blinked. How in the world did someone as distinctive as Eli just melt into the mass of humanity? That was a trick she couldn’t wait to learn.
Renee picked up their drinks and moved away from the bar, looking without much hope for an empty table. Against the odds, she spotted one. But as she reached it, a pair of men set their beers down on it. 
One looked up and saw her. His eyes widened for a second before he smiled broadly. “Were you headed for this table?” he asked, shouting to be heard over the pounding beat of the music. Renee nodded and shrugged, already turning to look for another free table. He reached out and touched her shoulder. “Don’t run off, darlin’. We’re happy to share,” he offered.
Renee smiled at him and set her drinks down. “Thanks.”
He held out his hand to her. “I’m Jess, and this is Lou.” She shook hands with them both and gave her own name. “Are you here with someone?” Jess asked, glancing at the two drinks.
Renee hesitated, not knowing quite how to answer. “A friend,” she said after a moment. 
Jess’s grin broadened. “Great! Your friend can dance with Lou, and you can dance with me. Come on!” She had to laugh at the mental image of Eli dancing with Lou as she let Jess lead her back toward the dance floor. 
Jess was a great dancer. Renee found herself relaxing as they swung around the dance floor, enjoying the pounding beat of the music and the obvious appreciation in Jess’s eyes as he watched her move. After all the recent blows to her ego, it was good to feel graceful again. The song blended into another and she let him draw her closer, his hands warm on her back as she wound her arms around his neck, his body pressed close in the crush of the crowd. She brushed against him with every turn and sway. The driving, sensual rhythm of the song swept through the dancers and Jess pulled her fully against him, a gleam in his eyes.
Suddenly her shoulders were seized in an unbreakable grip and Renee found herself dragged back against a hard, muscular frame. “Must you plaster yourself against him?” Eli’s voice demanded in her ear.
Renee almost laughed at the indignation on Jess’s face, which perfectly matched Eli’s tone as she tried to ease out of his grip. He didn’t let her move an inch. 
“That’s the way it’s done,” she murmured back, too low for Jess to hear over the loud music but knowing without a doubt Eli would pick up every word. She felt his tension and couldn’t resist needling him a little. “I guess they didn’t dance like this back in the Stone Age, huh?”
Jess tried to draw her back to him and Eli’s hold on her shoulders tightened. “This isn’t dancing, it’s an orgy,” Eli growled.
Renee did laugh this time. For a moment, she let herself believe he was acting this way because he was jealous of the attention she was showing another man. She knew better than to truly believe it—her mother would have reacted the exact same way had she seen this kind of dancing—but she couldn’t help pushing Eli to see how far he’d let her go. It had become habit by now. 
“Just because you’re too dried up and stuffy to remember how to have fun doesn’t mean I can’t,” she teased, still swaying slightly with the beat. His body was a rock-hard wall of muscle behind her and she couldn’t resist leaning against his strength. Her eyes closed briefly—good Lord, he felt good! “Why don’t I meet you outside the square-dancing hall in a couple of hours, old man?”
Eli glared at Jess when he again attempted to pull Renee back into his arms. “Touch her again and I’ll have your hands for a trophy,” he snarled over Renee’s head. 
Jess swallowed but stood his ground. “Hey, man, we’re busy here. Back off!”
Eli felt his fangs lengthen and wrapped a possessive arm around Renee’s waist, locking her body to his. He felt Renee’s amusement at his behavior as she reached out and squeezed Jess’s hand. 
“It’s okay, Jess. This is the friend I told you about,” she said, and Eli heard the reassuring smile in her voice alongside the gentle compulsion urging him to walk away. He was glad she’d dismissed Jess before he had to. There was no way to speak without baring his fangs at the man—and even worse, Eli wanted to bare his fangs at him and scare the life out of him for dancing with Renee. 
His insanity apparently knew no bounds tonight. 
Renee was still holding Jess’s hand and Eli narrowed his eyes at the man, sending a little compulsion of his own. Jess dropped her hand at once but Renee reached up and patted his cheek. 
“Thanks for the dance,” she said.
Jess still looked unhappy. “You didn’t say he was that kind of friend,” he grumbled, but he turned and left them without further comment.
Renee tried to turn to look at Eli but he didn’t let her. He didn’t want her to see how furious he still was. Damn it, he’d known better than to watch her dancing, but when he’d come back in from feeding, he’d accidentally caught sight of her and hadn’t been able to look away. The sight of her lush body pressed against the mortal’s had triggered a rage he had no hope of fighting. 
Didn’t Renee know what this kind of dancing promised a man? The last straw had come from the mortal’s thoughts as he imagined all the ways he’d like to collect on that sensual promise.
Apparently she didn’t know what she was doing because even now she rocked in time to the music. The softness of her body brushing his did nothing at all for Eli’s control. 
“You can’t keep running off all my dance partners, Eli,” Renee told him, a hint of laughter in her reproach as she continued the sensual swaying despite his refusal to move with her. “I thought you were going to let me have a night out. What do you want me to do, stand around like you and watch everyone else dance?”
Eli stopped himself from replying with an effort. He shouldn’t react to her. He should ignore her teasing, walk away and let her find another man to dance with, but Eli already knew he couldn’t. Her body brushed against his again and again and the friction threatened to set him aflame. Did she have no concept at all of what she was doing to him? 
“Come on, Eli,” Renee teased, running a fingertip over the arm he still had clasped around her waist in a feather-soft caress. He felt her touch like a brand even through the leather jacket. “If you don’t know the moves, I’m sure you can find a nice dark spot in the corner where you can hide and glower in peace. You don’t have to try to keep up with me.”
Her taunting was the final straw. “Oh, I know the moves,” he murmured in her ear. “Maybe this old man can show you a thing or two, little one.” A moment later, his knee nudged between hers and his hand slid across her waist to grasp her hip as he swung into the driving, erotic rhythm of the dance.
Renee gasped as his other hand moved in a long caress from her shoulder down her arm to capture her fingers before bringing her arm up and sliding their entwined fingers through his hair. Had she thought she was close to him before? Now every inch of his body was imprinted on hers. She closed her eyes and couldn’t stop the curl of heat through her body as his hips rocked against hers. 
She tangled her fingers in his hair as he released her hand and shuddered as his palm caressed a slow path down her sensitive inner arm. She heard a soft moan before she realized the needy sound had come from her own lips. His hand felt very large as it slid over her ribs and she was positive he would cup her breast, but his fingertips merely teased the side before he splayed his hand high on her stomach. His thumb rested in the valley between her breasts, making her desperate for more, but he didn’t give it to her. Her back melded against his hard body as he thrust his leg further between hers. 
The hard rhythm became her world and she let go, losing herself in sensation as she rode his thigh, helplessly following the gyration of his hips—front to back, side to side, long, lazy circles that drove her crazy. His hand left her hip to trail up and down her thigh and she moaned again. She reached back and slid her hand beneath his long coat and into his back pocket, ignoring the cold steel of his sword hilt. Her only thought was the need to feel more of him, wishing he would let her turn around. She needed to see his face, discover if he was as turned on as she was.
He nipped her ear an instant before she felt his breath tease her throat. She arched against him, tossing her head to the side to give him greater access and aching to feel his mouth there, but he only buried his face in her hair and tightened his hold on her. Renee clenched her fingers in his hair to urge him closer and thought she would catch fire when his open mouth brushed her throat. His mouth moved away and she pulled him back. His hand tensed on her hip an instant before his teeth scraped over her pulse.
Sharp teeth. Very sharp teeth.
Renee gasped but the thrill which claimed her at the thought of his bite wasn’t fear. Something deep inside her, something wild and untouched before this moment, cried out for him to do it. His mouth came back again and nipped her skin. If he hadn’t been holding her close, Renee was certain she would have collapsed from the carnal rush of desire the feeling triggered.
Never in her life had she imagined feeling this way. This was much more than a dance. She never wanted it to end. The song changed again, one driving beat merging almost seamlessly with another, and Eli didn’t let her go. He teased her mercilessly, holding her hard against his body, his mouth on her throat playing havoc with her senses. Oh, yes, Eli knew this dance. If he made love half as well as he danced, Renee wasn’t sure she’d survive the experience, and right now she’d take the risk.
Suddenly Eli released her. Renee couldn’t stop her whimper of protest as he spun around as though he meant to escape the dance floor. She pulled him back and locked her arms around his neck. She didn’t care if he read her desire in her eyes when she looked up at him. Only one thing mattered. 
“Don’t stop,” she whispered as a slower song started. 
He took a deep and shaky breath before letting his arms encircle her again. He bent to murmur in her ear as he started to move once more, but now he held himself a few inches away from her as they danced. “This was a very bad idea. We’re not supposed to do this, little one.”
Renee smiled and fit her body to his as though she hadn’t noticed his attempt to douse the fire their dance had started. “I won’t tell if you won’t.”
Eli tried to put a little distance between them but Renee followed, negating his retreat. “Would you dance with your father like this?” 
She laughed at the note of desperation in his tone. “I never really knew him, but my mother was a wonderful dancer. I used to dance with her all the time. I would stand on her shoes and she would whirl me around the floor.”
“You are not standing on my shoes, little one, and I doubt you danced with your mother this way.”
Renee lifted her head to smile up at him as she again stopped him from backing away. “You’re right,” she agreed, deliberately leaning forward and pressing her breasts against his chest. “I dance this way with a man who makes me burn.”
Eli closed his eyes. “You shouldn’t say things like that to me,” he breathed.
Renee went up on her toes and brushed her lips over his, laughing softly when he jerked back with a whispered oath. “You’re not my father, Eli. And I plan to say whatever I want to you.” She waited until he opened his eyes and looked down at her with an expression of mingled exasperation and wariness. She glanced up at him through her lashes and gave him her most suggestive smile. “If you want to stop me, you’ll have to find some other way to occupy my mouth.” She touched her lower lip with her tongue and wondered if she would be mortified by her boldness later. “I do have some suggestions, if you need them.”
Eli couldn’t breathe. This was a nightmare. After last night he hadn’t thought things could get any worse, but now Renee was deliberately tempting him, offering her body to him with every dip and sway. 
Heaven help him if he wasn’t fighting the urge to take everything she offered right here and now. 
The brief touch of her lips had sent flames sizzling through his entire body. He didn’t dare try to speak for fear of exposing his fangs, which again erupted at the erotic images swirling in his mind. He tried to put a little space between them and again she didn’t allow it. He closed his eyes, trying to shut out temptation. 
But temptation wouldn’t be shut out. Even if he couldn’t see her, he still felt every last alluring inch of her. He cursed the clothes separating them. 
“Kiss me again, Eli,” Renee whispered, and he thought he would go insane.
Oh, yes, things had definitely gotten worse.
Chapter Seven
Renee scowled as she pushed her way through the door of the club and scanned the dark street for any sign of Eli. It did nothing for her confidence when the man bolted every time things started to get interesting.
She took a deep breath and bit her lip. Interesting didn’t even begin to describe that dance.
She’d looked all over the club, but hadn’t seen a sign of him. It really was impressive how easily he blended into the crowds. It wasn’t fair that an insanely tall platinum-haired vampire packing medieval weapons could simply duck out a door and vanish without a trace. She sighed. She wouldn’t find him until he wanted to be found, and this time, she was pretty certain she’d scared him off but good.
She couldn’t help it. After their scorching dance, she hadn’t been able to stop herself from pushing to see just how far he would go. 
She shook her head and sighed again. He’d gone far, all right. He’d gone straight out the door.
Renee crossed her arms and started walking, still scanning the night for Eli but without much hope. Luckily she’d paid attention to where they were going tonight and knew how to find her own way back to the cemetery. How she’d get through the crack in the rock when she arrived was something she refused to worry about until she had to. If all else failed, there was always the coffin, although the thought of burying herself alive sent a shudder through her. 
She was wishing she’d brought a jacket by the time she reached the end of the street—not because of the chill in the air, which she didn’t even feel, but because of all the men ogling her body as she passed them. No one had done anything more than whistle at her yet, a small blessing for which she was immensely grateful. She hoped she wouldn’t have to try to defend herself tonight. If her lessons with Eli were any indication, she would do better to turn tail and run than fight if someone threatened her. She quickened her pace, hoping to get home before anything else happened.
The sharp clash of ringing metal and the echo of an enraged shout, distant but still distinct to her superhuman hearing, brought her up short. Renee froze where she stood, all her senses scouring the night for the source of the sound. It came again and she spun on her heel and sprinted toward it. Eli had been wearing his swords tonight, she was sure of it, and his words in the dark forest echoed menacingly in her ears—The League is dedicated to protecting the world from Outcasts… When we find one, we kill it.
The thought of Eli caught in a life-or-death fight at this very moment made her blood run cold.
Renee’s heart was in her throat as she bolted down alleys and skidded around corners, ignoring the dangerous neighborhood around her as she homed in on the sounds of battle. All her instincts demanded she aid Eli. All right, she wasn’t the best fighter in the world, but some help had to be better than none at all.
Finally she burst from one dark and dingy alley into a dead-end and froze at the scene before her. All right, she’d found him, but what exactly had she planned to do when she got here? 
The alley was a whirl of violence. Eli, a sword in each hand, held off two viciously snarling vampires as they attacked him simultaneously. Renee wanted to leap into the fray and help, but each of his adversaries had a long sword. She had nothing, not even a pocketknife or can of pepper spray. Her plan to find and aid Eli suddenly seemed extremely naïve.
Get back! Eli’s voice snapped in her mind as she stood rooted to the spot, agonizing over her next move. You can’t help me in this. Get out of here before they sense you!
I won’t leave you by yourself! She bit back a scream as Eli ducked and spun, just missing a swipe from one of the vampires which would’ve taken off his head. Fear for him swamped her as she looked frantically around the dead-end for anything usable as a weapon. A board, a rock, she’d take anything at this point—
An empty wine bottle glinted at her from a stinking pile of garbage and she grabbed it by the neck. If I help it’ll be two against two—fair odds.
His annoyance at her persistence seethed through her mind but she ignored it as she edged along the wall of the alley, wishing she had worn her usual black. This bright catsuit didn’t blend into the shadows even a little bit. 
I can handle two Outcasts at once, little one. I’m telling you for the last time, get out of here!
Renee ignored him and edged a little closer to the battle. Two more steps and she’d be within range to smash her bottle over the closest Outcast’s skull—now one—
Suddenly a screaming pain overwhelmed her head. Renee barely felt the bottle drop from her nerveless fingers and didn’t hear it crash to the pavement as her hands flew to her temples. Your shields! Eli shouted at her, but it was too late for the reminder. She had never been good at remembering to keep her psychic shields in place and her inattention had caught up with her with a vengeance now. 
Renee felt her feet move without her conscious direction and tried to dig in her heels. 
Well, well, well, a cold voice drawled in her head. What have we here? I know you, little fledgling. I have a job for you. Come to your sire now.
Renee couldn’t tear her gaze from Eli as he cut down one of the Outcasts with a slash too rapid to follow. The vampire’s head rolled away before his body even hit the ground. Eli had already turned back to his other attacker.
Come, child, come to your sire, the voice whispered again, and she knew it was wrong. Eli would never ask her to come to him while he fought. The first thing he’d done when she’d arrived had been to order her away from the danger. There was no way this voice came from Eli. 
Get out of my head, she thought furiously. No matter how she struggled against the mental hold, she couldn’t prevent her feet from inching closer to the Outcast. She tried with all her might to shove the invading presence away. Get OUT!
Eli’s eyes flicked her way as though hearing her footstep. “Renee, don’t move!” 
Eli’s voice clashed with the one in her mind, his compulsion locking her in place warring with the other’s command drawing her nearer. The warring magic exploded behind her eyes, throwing daggers of pain through her mind. She felt like she was being ripped in two. 
“Fight him!” Eli commanded over the clash of swords.
A low, wicked laugh filled her mind. Yes, fight me, the Outcast agreed. See what good it does you. I have a hold on you the Slayer cannot match, little fledgling. Fight me all you wish, but you will come closer.
“No,” she moaned, still cradling her head in her hands, her legs shaking as she tried to throw off the powerful demand. Her feet dragged across the cracked pavement, bringing her nearer, inch by relentless inch, no matter how she struggled. Another step put her within touching distance of the Outcast. She tried to leap onto his back, to strangle and distract him and allow Eli to finish him off, but her body wouldn’t obey her. 
Help me! she thought frantically.
“Yes, by all means help her, Slayer,” the Outcast laughed, and she realized she’d cried the words aloud. He suddenly grabbed her arm and shoved her in front of him like a shield. “How useful you’ve been to me twice now, fledgling,” he mocked, holding her in place with one arm around her waist while he reached around her with the other to slash at Eli. His hand groped over her. “Delicious,” he breathed in her ear. “I hadn’t noticed before. It’s a shame I don’t have more time to appreciate you as you deserve.” 
Eli roared furiously and Renee fought to get away, her skin crawling at the Outcast’s repulsive touch, but she was helpless. Her body was no longer her own. She felt the Outcast in her mind searching for the path she used to speak to Eli and she ruthlessly cut off the contact. She had already messed things up enough without giving this beast a mental path to attack on, too.
What a strong little girl you are. He laughed in her mind. I almost regret killing you. Say goodbye, fledgling. And he shoved her forward just as Eli’s sword came down.
But as soon as he released her, Renee regained the tiniest measure of control over her muscles and threw herself hard to one side, missing the razor-sharp point of Eli’s blade by less than an inch before slamming into the ground. Using instincts she didn’t even know she possessed, Renee shot a mental bolt at the fleeing Outcast, trying to send him the same shattering agony he’d sent her, hoping to slow him down as Eli leapt over her in pursuit. Then she collapsed, utterly spent.
The next thing she knew, Eli was leaning over her as she lay sprawled on the ground. His dark gaze searched her face anxiously. “What happened?” Renee asked hoarsely, her head a bright ball of pain. “Did you get him?”
Eli let out a sigh which might’ve been relief or exasperation as he knelt at her side. “No, little one, he escaped.” Then he took her shoulders and pulled her into a sitting position. “Why didn’t you leave when I told you to?” 
The movement aggravated her splitting headache but the pain was insignificant compared to her shame at what she’d unwittingly done. Renee let her lashes fall again, not wanting to see the censure in his eyes. She knew exactly whose fault it was that the Outcast had gotten away. “I’m sorry,” she whispered tonelessly. “I thought I could help.” 
Eli sighed again and touched her cheek. She winced at the unexpected soreness there. She hadn’t even realized she’d hit her head on the pavement when the Outcast had thrown her aside. 
“Don’t apologize. The fault is mine, too. I should have prepared you better for this.” He touched her temple and she opened her eyes at his silent demand. His face was stern. “You must never, never approach me when I’m fighting,” he said, his harsh tone leaving no doubt this was a command he would see obeyed. “You endanger yourself needlessly and I don’t need your assistance. Do you understand, little one?”
She nodded but deep inside she was starting to feel angry. He’d left her standing on the dance floor like an idiot and she’d still come sprinting to his aid, and even though things hadn’t turned out like she’d intended, was it too much to ask to get a little credit for trying? She sat up and shoved his hands away, ignoring the new bolt of pain piercing her tender skull. 
“Little one, little fledgling, little girl,” she grumbled bitterly. “Anyone would think I was either three years old or three feet tall. Will you please stop calling me that?”
Eli helped her gently to her feet. “What should I call you, then?” he asked, only raising an eyebrow when she pulled away from him as soon as she was standing. “Xena the Warrior Princess with an empty wine bottle? Buffy the Vampire Slayer come charging to the rescue without her trusty wooden stake?”
She glared at him to hide how much his mocking dismissal of her attempt to help him stung. “Here’s a thought. How about my name?”
He shook his head. “Too easy,” he said, slipping an arm around her waist to steady her when she swayed. “Are you all right?”
She knocked his arm away and put her hand against the wall instead. Now that the danger had passed, the horror of what she had just witnessed was starting to sink in. She didn’t want to think about Eli swinging his sword with such deadly precision and beheading the Outcast, but the image would not leave her mind. The first time she had heard him call himself a Slayer she’d blocked out the graphic violence of the term. She couldn’t block it out again. A man had died in this filthy alley tonight, died by Eli’s hand, and he hadn’t even flinched. 
What kind of man killed so coldly?
She struggled not to think about it. “Don’t talk to me for a while, all right?” she said, closing her eyes and covering them with her hand. “Just take me home and don’t talk to me. Please.”
Eli frowned as he looked at her standing there with her head down, her brilliant catsuit dirty from her impact with the pavement and her dark hair escaping its elegant twist. An impressive bruise was already darkening on her cheek. He had intended to lighten the mood with his teasing, but his plan had clearly backfired. He reached out and tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. “It was brave of you to try to help, Renee.” 
She didn’t look up. “I helped the wrong person,” she whispered, self-disgust lacing her tone. “If not for me he wouldn’t have gotten away.”
Eli was silent. He couldn’t deny it, but he shouldn’t let her think the fault was completely hers. There was no way he could have foreseen what had happened tonight. When he’d escaped from her in the dance club, he’d had no idea he would run into Caen. No way of knowing Renee would track him down and try to battle at his side. The sire-fledgling bond had been too much for Eli to fight and he doubted even the strong psychic blocking techniques he’d taught her would have done any good at all. 
From the moment Caen had recognized Renee, it had been too late. She shouldn’t beat herself up over something she’d never had a hope of controlling.
She looked completely miserable standing there. His heart constricted. Eli pulled her into his arms and rocked her gently, taking the clip from her hair and running his fingers through the loosed tresses. 
“Don’t apologize,” he told her again. “It’s not your fault he got away, Renee.” He massaged her scalp and felt her tremble against him. “He has eluded me many times, but I promise you he won’t elude me forever. I will find him again. Believe me in this. Leave it at that and let it go.”
Renee nodded against his chest and he pressed a gentle kiss to her hair. “Let’s go home,” he murmured. He didn’t summon the mist this time but flew slowly with her in his arms, telling himself she needed the comfort.
But deep inside, Eli still shook from the aftermath of her involvement in the battle. When she’d appeared in the dead-end, his heart had stopped. It was his nightmare, Renee exposed to Caen again, and his dread and fury had exploded when she’d refused to leave. He’d felt her uncertainty and fear, but still she’d refused to leave him alone. Her determination to even the odds against him. She hadn’t the slightest idea that he’d stacked the odds in his favor long ago when it came to battle. 
Sweet heaven, she was brave. He didn’t deserve such loyalty.
Eli brushed her thoughts gently, not wanting to alert her to his presence in her mind, and winced at the vivid memory of his sword parting the first vampire’s head from his body. It replayed over and over and he realized Renee had never seen death before. Despite everything he’d told her about Outcasts and the League she hadn’t fully understood what their war meant until now. She had seen him kill and something innocent in her had died. He wished to the heavens that she had never seen him that way, but it was the truth of who he was. Not the laughter, not the wisecracks, but the man who killed without regret. 
And to make everything infinitely worse her true sire had found her. He shuddered and held her tighter. The nightmare wasn’t over. Now that Caen knew she’d survived the Change, he might very well search for her again and try to take her for his own. He had clearly lusted for her and even if he hadn’t, what Outcast wouldn’t want a thrall to control? 
Eli shuddered again at the memory of Renee placing herself before his blades at the Outcast’s bidding despite her struggles to resist. Eli had known Caen’s game at once. To kill him, Eli would have had to kill Renee first. Eli hadn’t done it, as Caen had gambled he wouldn’t.
Why hadn’t he done it?
Renee was Outcast-born. The wisdom of ages told Eli it was only a matter of time before she joined them. Why hadn’t he forced himself to cut her down to get to his prey? Ronin would have done it without blinking. Diego likewise would have if he was certain no other options remained, and no guilt would torment him. But could Eli truly contemplate slaying this fledgling he had cared for over the last month for the simple sin of her birth and the crime of being forced to stand in his way? He closed his eyes as he started the descent to the cemetery.
He was very afraid the answer was no.
 
* * *
 
Something’s coming!
Renee woke with a gasp, her heart hammering against her ribs. The sensation of imminent danger overwhelmed her. Terror pressed hard in the center of her chest, burying her beneath a crushing weight of dread and helplessness. Something’s wrong—something’s coming! The certainty pounded in her brain, driving out every thought but one.
She had to get to Eli. She had to warn him and make up for last night’s dismal failure.
Renee tried to leap from the bed but her body wouldn’t obey. Her legs tangled in the blankets, trapping her on the bed. Her limbs trembled violently. The memory of the Outcast stealing her body and her will swamped her and panic swallowed her for a moment before she understood the cause of this terrible lethargy—it must still be daylight outside. Eli had warned her she’d be weak during the day, but she hadn’t expected it to be this bad.
She couldn’t let it stop her. The horrible sense of danger kept growing. She struggled free of the blankets and tumbled from the bed, hardly noticing when she hit the stone floor hard enough to bruise. It took three failed attempts to pull herself up before she accepted that there would be no getting to her feet. She would have to crawl even as everything in her demanded she run.
The simple act of opening her door left Renee gasping and drained. The few feet separating her room from Eli’s yawned before her like miles. Only the increasing sense of danger, of wrongness, kept her from giving up right there.
Somehow she made it to his door. She struggled to her knees to reach the handle, her hand shaking, her entire body trembling with effort, and when she finally managed to turn it she tumbled inside and landed in a crumbled heap in the doorway. 
“Eli,” she tried to scream, but it came out as a whisper.
But he heard it. Eli sat straight up in bed and flung the covers back. Renee had one tantalizing glimpse of a long, muscular leg before a pair of black pajama pants appeared out of nowhere and covered him, but she was so terrified his nudity hardly registered. She barely had time to wonder why he didn’t seem to be affected by the day weakness before he was kneeling beside her. 
“What is it?” Eli demanded, grasping her shoulders and lifting her from the floor to look anxiously into her eyes. “I feel your fear. What’s happened?”
“Something’s coming,” she gasped, wishing she could scream it. Desperation welled up inside her. She didn’t know what was happening but she knew their time was almost up. “Can’t you feel it? Something’s wrong!”
Almost before she finished speaking, the first tremor shook them. Eli caught her against him and shielded her with his body as the floor heaved and they were thrown into the wall. Any attempt to speak or hear was impossible in the sudden roar as the earth convulsed around them. 
An earthquake—and they were trapped beneath the ground! Renee was too frightened to even scream. She’d thought she’d been prepared to face an earthquake when she moved to San Francisco, but the reality was much more terrifying. What if the walls collapsed and crushed them? What if Eli’s home was exposed and the sunlight found them? What if the fissure connecting them to the outside world closed in the shifting? What if—
Before any other horrid thoughts arose to torment her, Eli moved. Still holding her tightly to his chest with one arm, he stretched out his other hand and pressed it to the stone wall, fingers splayed, eyes closed in intense concentration. Almost at once, the shaking stopped, even though Renee still heard the rocks around them groaning and breaking. Eli glowed with the intensity of his effort. That sensation of incredible power radiating from him had never been more intense. It surged around him with such strength, her teeth chattered and she was certain her hair stood on end. She wasn’t sure what scared her more—the earthquake, or watching Eli control it. 
Still, what if his great strength gave out before the tremors stopped? Nightmare visions of being entombed in stone filled her head. Trying to force them away, she hid her face against his bare chest and prayed for it to be over.
And finally, it was. The silence that fell was complete but for her rapid, terrified gasps. Eli wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair gently. 
“Shh, little one,” he murmured, and to her surprise Renee thought he sounded fatigued. It was the first time he’d ever sounded anything but invincible, supremely confident, and it scared her almost as much as the earthquake had. She clung to him and tried to stop shaking. “Shh, it’s over now. You’re safe. It’s all right.”
Eli rocked her until she calmed a little as he sent his senses traveling through the stone surrounding his home, checking for damage and feeling the tension still lingering in the earth around them. This had been a big quake and it wasn’t over yet. There would be aftershocks. He began weaving safeguards around his lair, strengthening the hasty protection he’d thrown in place during that first violent tremor. He felt Renee relaxing little by little against him and unconsciously rested his cheek against her soft, tousled hair as he worked, comforting her as he would a frightened child.
When he’d made them as safe as possible, he noticed for the first time just how intimate their embrace had become. During the quake he’d crushed her against him, drawing her onto his lap and covering her body with his to protect her from any falling stones. Now that the danger had passed, neither of them had put any distance between them, and he was abruptly aware that this was no child he comforted. Renee wore only a short satin gown and he wasn’t sure which was softer, the satin or the bare skin of her arms and shoulders brushing his chest. The gown had ridden up high on her thighs and he ached to brush his fingertips along the skin revealed there. The scent of her hair filled his senses and the soft press of her breasts against him made him catch his breath as he remembered the wild, reckless, and wonderful dance last night.
A reluctant smile curved his lips as a blaze kindled deep inside. In all the times he’d dreamt of her coming to him in here, he’d never once imagined anything like this.
Well, that wasn’t quite true. The earth had moved.
Eli shook his head sharply to clear it. It was dangerous to think of her that way, dangerous and unfair. Renee deserved better than a sire who couldn’t control his lustful thoughts. 
She was almost limp in his arms with day-sickness and the aftermath of her fear and he concentrated on that to distract himself from how insanely good she felt against him. His arms tightened for a bare instant, but he made himself shift her away. Still, he kept his arm around her shoulders to keep her from slipping to the floor.            
Only then did it hit him. Renee had woken during the day! She’d felt the danger approaching even in her deepest sleep—not only that, but she’d found the energy to do what was necessary to ensure their safety. It was unbelievable she’d managed to make it here at all. She was barely more than an infant in vampire reckoning, a fledgling a mere few weeks old. She should have been completely immobilized at this hour.
She was more powerful than she knew. She had proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was capable of surviving on her own now, but Eli shoved the thought away at once. He still had much to teach her.
No. He would not let her go yet.
Eli cupped her chin in a gentle hand and smiled down at her, banishing the thought of her leaving and living on her own in his surge of admiration for the remarkable feat she’d performed. Although he was certain the quake would have woken him within seconds, he had no doubt her early warning had saved considerable damage. “Thank you for waking me, little one. Tell me, how did you know the quake was coming?” 
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I just woke up and I felt…wrong.” Her lashes lowered as though it was too much effort to keep her eyes open. “I had to get to you,” she whispered.
The knowledge that her only thought when she’d felt the danger had been to reach him warmed Eli more than he wanted to admit. He caught a glimpse of the tiny passion mark on her throat and his groin tightened as he remembered putting it there. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, trying to forget how very good she’d tasted and how well she’d fit in his arms. He had to stop thinking about that dance!
She sighed and Eli felt her weakness, the effort it took her simply to stay awake, and he latched onto the problem with relief. Not only did it give him something concrete to concentrate upon, it also meant she wouldn’t be trying to seduce him again anytime soon. He thanked the heavens for that because right now he wasn’t sure he could say no. 
Sleep. She needed sleep, and he needed a cold shower. Eli stood and scooped her up into his arms. She snuggled against him and his feet tried to turn toward his bed instead of the door. He scowled and corrected their aim. “You’re exhausted,” he said, reminding himself more than her. “I’ll take you back to your room. You’re too weak to try to walk.”
But Renee shook her head at once and wrapped her arms tight around his neck. The tremors that had finally started to fade once more shook her body. “Please let me stay with you,” she whispered, even her voice trembling. “Don’t leave me alone. What if it comes again?”
Eli’s step faltered and his heart stopped. When his pulse started again, it pounded hard enough to hurt. His mind filled with the image of Renee sleeping beside him, her warm, lush body against his, his arms around her, holding her close for every second remaining until sunset. When the sun left the sky, would she turn to him and offer him everything she’d offered on the dance floor last night? Every sense went on full alert and Eli barely bit back a groan. 
“Let me stay,” Renee whispered again, and he couldn’t think of anything he’d ever wanted more.
That was why he didn’t dare agree to this. He clenched his fists and took a ragged breath, trying without success to banish the seductive images from his mind. No. It was the height of folly to even consider it. It was already damn near impossible to think of her as his fledgling without giving in to this crazy temptation. There were limits to even his strength.
No. If he allowed this, he knew exactly where it would lead. One of them had to be strong and kill this ill-fated attraction now.
It was on the tip of his tongue to refuse her when he felt the dampness of her tears on his bare shoulder. He didn’t even have to touch her mind to feel her genuine fear at the thought of an aftershock coming while she was alone in her room. This wasn’t a ploy or an attempt at seduction. She was truly terrified, truly needing his comfort.
“Please,” Renee breathed, and the single word tore through him.
Eli closed his eyes and bent his head in defeat. He could resist her teasing, he could resist her flirting, but he could not resist her fear. “All right,” he whispered as he turned and carried her to his bed, trying to convince himself he hadn’t just damned them both. Maybe if she went to sleep quickly, he might still resist the nearly overpowering urge to touch her. “All right, baby. Don’t cry.”
He followed her down onto the soft mattress, clenching his jaw as she clung to him. She ignored his attempt to put space between them and draped herself across his chest, hiding her face in the curve of his shoulder. Her warm breath against his neck and jaw brought every nerve in his body to full, aching life. He held her close because he couldn’t help himself, stroking her hair and trying desperately to ignore these desires a sire should not have for his fledgling.
And as always, he failed. Miserably.
Renee sighed and slowly relaxed against him, her body softening with sleep, curving into his. She felt far too good pressed against him and Eli was about to try to shift her away from him when his fangs suddenly erupted against his lips. The bloodlust hit him without warning. The sweet, electric scent of her blood called to him, permeating every breath he took, intensifying the fire in his veins. His arms locked her to him as if to keep her from escaping. Eli took a deep breath and forced his grip on her to loosen, fighting the abrupt and inexplicable urge to sink his teeth into her vulnerable throat.
It made no sense. He forced the urge away with a surge of confused panic. Why did this keep happening? He had sworn never to take her blood. He’d fed well last night. There was absolutely no reason for this unexpected craving, but it would not be denied. The more his body ached for hers, the more his fangs throbbed in his mouth, demanding that he take her in every way. And she slept on, completely ignorant of the danger.
It was torture. Pure and simple.
Eli clenched his fists in her hair as her breathing slowed and she passed from human slumber to the vampires’ deep, almost lifeless sleep. He envied her. He knew there would be no rest for him.
 
* * *
 
The sun dipped below the horizon, rousing Renee from her rest. She resisted the intrusion of wakefulness. All she wanted was to remain in this dream of lying in Eli’s arms, cradled to his chest. 
Pressed against him from cheek to knee, Renee relished the heat of his hard body. One arm lay across her waist, trapping her there—as if she’d even consider moving. His other hand was twined in her hair. She took a deep breath and savored the warm scent of him before letting the air out in a soft, utterly content sigh.
As if her sigh were a signal, his hands moved. His fingers gently massaged her scalp as his other hand traced a slow line from her hip to the base of her spine. Renee arched closer, eyes still closed. If this dream wanted to take a more erotic turn, she wouldn’t complain a bit.
The steady rhythm of his breathing caught, then quickened. She turned her head just a bit, seeking his skin, and when she found his throat, she nuzzled. His scent was intoxicating, the dark and spicy aroma owing nothing to cologne. He smelled of man and sex, hot and wild, completely unrestrained. Remembering the delicious flavor of his kiss, she ran her tongue along the line of his quickening pulse.
His groan vibrated through her body. His hand left her hair to slide down her spine, joining the other at her hip. Renee flattened her palm against the warm skin of his chest and drew a little pattern with a fingertip. 
Both hands suddenly left her hips and cupped her bottom. He pressed her closer, squeezing lightly, and she whimpered.
Eli shuddered and pressed his lips to her ear. “You could tempt a stone to sin,” he whispered. “Tell me no, little one. Help me stop this before it goes too far.”
She almost laughed. How like her too-honorable Eli to keep resisting even while she was draped over him, more than willing and already in his bed. She kissed a path up his throat until she found his own ear. “What if I don’t want to stop? What if I like this dream as it is?”
He groaned and tumbled her onto her back. Her gasp at the sudden movement died against his lips.
Renee moaned and lost herself in his kiss. Hot, hungry, desperate—it was everything she’d hoped for and more. His tongue thrust into her mouth, retreated, came back for more. She wrapped her arms around him and scraped her nails down his back. Their fast breaths mingled. She shivered as his hand slid up her belly and, hesitating only a moment, covered her breast.
Her nipple hardened in his palm. The heightened senses she’d gained as a vampire apparently applied to every part of her body, because the pleasure that shot through her when he rolled her nipple between his fingers was staggering. Just that touch was almost enough to make her come.
And apparently he knew it, because he backed off an instant before she reached the peak. She tore her mouth from his to protest, “Eli!”
For a moment, he froze. His body went rigid against hers. Then he released her breast and caught her chin in his hand. “Open your eyes, damn it. Open your eyes and know what you’re doing.”
The ferocity of his voice startled her into obeying. Renee looked up at Eli, poised above her with his dark eyes burning with stars, his face taut with strain. It wasn’t a dream. She was truly here, in his bed, and there was no way in hell she’d let him back out now. 
“Don’t stop,” she whispered, her voice a sultry murmur in the stillness. Just in case he had any doubt she meant it, she wrapped her legs around his waist and squeezed. She opened her mind, pushing her desire, her need, her desperate arousal at him. “Don’t you dare stop now.”
Eli’s pupils dilated and he let out a long, shaky breath, clearly feeling the surge of her passion. “Why must you make it impossible for me to pretend?” 
She stroked his back and lifted her hips, shamelessly tempting him. His hard cock pressed against her thigh. “No way you’re pretending this.” 
He shuddered and suddenly kissed her again, fast and hot. Both hands dove into her hair to hold her still for his pleasure, but he pulled away after only a moment. 
His voice, low and fierce, sent shivers down her spine. “Hear me now, Renee. We have no blood tie. You were never my fledgling, and I will no longer play your sire.” 
Any reply she might’ve made was cut off by his kiss. In truth, Renee didn’t want to reply. It might lead to a conversation, and in her estimation, they’d already said everything that was necessary. It was past time to put his gorgeous mouth to better use.
And sweet heaven, did he know how to use it! His tongue teased hers with velvet caresses before he broke away to blaze a trail of kisses down her throat. Her gown dissolved, sending a tingle over her skin, an instant before his mouth closed over one taut, aching nipple. She cried out in sheer bliss as he licked and nibbled.
If she’d thought his hand felt good, it was nothing compared to his lips. Only when she was utterly wild with pleasure did he switch to her other breast.
God, yes, this was what she’d wanted, ached for since their first kiss. The sharp tips of his fangs grazed her skin, thrilling her with the revelation that she could make this tightly-controlled man go wild. She had to touch him, had to feel more of him. The taut muscles of his back flexed beneath her hands as she caressed him, urging him on. 
That shivering tingle teased her skin again as Eli banished his pajama pants with a thought. The sudden press of his flesh to hers was intoxicating. He slid down further, kissing and nipping her ribs and stomach, leaving only his head and shoulders within her reach. 
That wasn’t acceptable as far as she was concerned. “Get back up here so I can touch you!”
He bit her hip, not piercing the skin but nipping hard enough to make her arch and moan. He chuckled, a low rumble of pure dominant male amusement. “When I’m ready, baby, and not before.”
Without warning, Eli flipped her onto her stomach, moving with such speed that she had no chance to try and resist. Her gasp of surprise turned into a moan when he pinned her with his body, covering her from head to toe. His cock pressed against her bottom, thick and hard and only inches from where she wanted it. She arched beneath him, rubbing shamelessly against him.
His sharp intake of breath was all the reward she needed. He cupped her chin in one hand and kissed her, all earlier finesse forgotten in a blaze of hunger. She pushed her own hunger at him and felt his mind open to her as he fed her his passion and need. Never had she wanted anything more than this.
Eli groaned into her mouth as if hearing her thought. Thrilled by the possibility, Renee imagined everything she wanted to do to him in vivid detail—licking a path across his chest and nibbling his nipples, sliding her hands up his thighs to cup his sac, pressing her breasts together and capturing his cock between them—
He broke the kiss with a moan and thrust inside her at last. Renee pressed back, shuddering with pleasure as he invaded her, filling her and retreating. She lost herself in his mind, the erotic sensation of her heat and wetness surrounding him. 
“More,” she gasped, wanting things from him she didn’t even have names for. “More, Eli!”
Everything, he promised, speaking directly to her mind as he thrust deeper, faster. His desperation filled her and built with every surge forward. You can have everything.
Nothing had ever been as intense as this pleasure. Each thrust sent her higher on a spiral of ecstasy, promising a release that would far surpass anything she’d ever imagined. 
And it didn’t come.
Poised on the brink, her body straining and every nerve alive and aching, she cried out in mingled ecstasy and agony. All she needed was one tiny push and she’d tumble over the edge, but what was it?
Then Eli’s presence filled her mind, merging them completely. I know what you need, he murmured, rocking faster. His wrist pressed against her lips. Take it.
As soon as her fangs pierced his vein, rapture overwhelmed her. His blood was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. Rich and powerful, the taste of him triggered her pleasure and extended it to unbelievable heights. She’d never imagined anything could be so erotic. Surely nothing could be better than this. She pushed pleasure at him, needing to share the incredible feeling.
And then Eli bit her shoulder, and every cell of her body shuddered with joy. Their moans and cries muffled against skin, they came at the same moment, entwined on every possible level.
It took a long time for Renee to come back to her senses. The reality of their lovemaking had far, far surpassed any dream she’d ever had. She felt him close the bite on her shoulder and reluctantly did the same for his wrist. His taste, hot and utterly addictive, filled her mouth and the warmth of his thoughts still flooded her mind.
Abruptly he cut off their mental bond and rolled away from her, but not before she caught one last thought from him.
Sweet heaven, what have I done?
Chapter Eight
The full realization of his sin was slow in coming, but when it did, it killed every trace of joy. Icy fingers squeezed his heart. 
Eli had only meant to pleasure her, but he’d done much, much more than that. Not only had he completely shattered the sire-fledgling bond, he had let Renee take his blood. He couldn’t blame her for it—he’d actually urged her to do it. 
His stomach clenched. No, it was more than that, far worse than that. They had shared blood. Mind and body and blood. Eli groaned and covered his face with his hands as the full implications of such an exchange crashed in on him. He should never have let this happen!         
Eli rolled further from her and sat on the edge of the bed, his entire body shaking. What the hell had he been thinking, letting things go that far?
The answer to that one was easy. He hadn’t been thinking. He’d been drowning in feeling, in the culmination of weeks of longing, and he’d wanted her in every possible way. He’d wanted to get so deep inside her she’d never get him out. 
But he should never, never have initiated the blood exchange.
She had no idea what it meant. Eli had no such excuse. He hadn’t told her anything of bonding yet. He hadn’t thought she would need that knowledge for years more at the very least— 
No. He could no longer lie to himself. He hadn’t told her because he hadn’t been able to bear the idea of her bonding with anyone, couldn’t stand the thought of a time in the future when she wouldn’t need him, couldn’t face knowing she would one day turn to another man and leave him alone again.
Well, he had certainly complicated that for her by completing the first exchange. There was no way to take back what had happened. Eli swore under his breath, long and viciously. None of this was her fault, but in the end she was the one who would pay. He had no right to do this to her simply because he wanted what he would never deserve.
If she knew what he really was, she’d run in terror.
He heard her stirring behind him an instant before her fingertips ran down his spine in a feather-light caress. Bliss radiated from her. He wouldn’t have been surprised to hear her purr. His traitorous body leapt to life in response. He had to resist the temptation to pull her back into his arms and love her until she was so addicted to him, she wouldn’t care what he was. What he’d done.
The danger he’d exposed her to by allowing her to take his cursed blood.
Tell her, a tiny voice whispered inside him. Tell her. She has a right to know. And maybe…
Maybe nothing, he thought back fiercely. Everything in him rebelled at the thought of her terror should she find out about him. He would do anything to prevent it.
Renee rose to her knees and leaned against his back, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her cheek against his warm skin. She smiled, her body still tingling in the aftermath of their incredible lovemaking. 
She frowned when he stiffened at her touch. “Eli?”
His hands closed over her wrists and pulled her arms from around him before he rose stiffly from the bed. She blinked and he was dressed, his gorgeous body completely concealed by dark jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, his back still to her. She bit her lip, suddenly nervous. 
“Eli?” she repeated uncertainly. “What’s wrong?”
He whirled and fixed her with such a furious stare she clutched the sheet to her chest. “You can ask me that now?” he asked harshly. 
Renee stared at him in shock. She didn’t understand what was wrong. The last thing she remembered was unbelievable pleasure, absolute sharing. She’d felt a part of him in every way. To have him pull away now was more than painful, it was shattering. She twisted the sheet between her fingers, unable to think of a single thing to say in the face of his anger.
Eli ran his hands through his hair in a completely uncharacteristic show of agitation at her silence. “Didn’t you hear a word I said to you?” he demanded.
Her brows drew together in confusion. In truth, she’d been listening to what his body had been telling her far more than anything that had passed his lips, but she made an effort to remember now. It was clearly important to him. 
And then she remembered. “You aren’t my sire,” she whispered, the words and all that they meant sinking in now. She didn’t try to hide the hurt and confusion in her eyes as she looked up at him. “Why did you lie to me?”
He paced the length of the room and jammed his hands into his pockets without answering. Renee rose to her feet and wrapped the sheet around her shoulders, wishing she could summon clothing with the ease he had. She felt at a horrible disadvantage in her sheet-toga. 
“Why did you lie to me, Eli?” she repeated. “And where is my real sire? Why are you protecting him?”
He sighed and his shoulders slumped before he turned to face her. “I don’t know where he is,” he said, his voice almost completely toneless. “And it wasn’t him I was protecting. You were sired by an Outcast, Renee.”
She gasped. She couldn’t have been more shocked or hurt had he stabbed her through the heart. Unable to speak, she shook her head mutely, denying his words with everything inside her, but still the words would not come.
Eli drove the blade deeper. “The same Outcast you helped to escape last night.”
Renee stared at him in horror. She wanted to be sick. “No,” she whispered, sitting down hard on the edge of the bed as her knees gave out. “No—you’re lying. I don’t believe you!”
Eli felt the pain coming off her in waves and almost wished he hadn’t said anything. His instinctive need to comfort her drove him a step closer to the bed, but he forced himself to stop. No, he told himself savagely, refusing to give in to weakness again. She had to know the truth after what he had done to her. He had to put her on her guard even if she hated him for it later.
If she’d had one strike against her before, Eli had all but doomed her now.
He clenched his fists to keep from touching her. “Search your memories.” He made his voice hard to hide how close he was to pulling her into his arms and begging her forgiveness. “I’d been hunting the band of Outcasts for days. I caught up with them and they tried to fight me off in the parking garage.” 
She closed her eyes, paling, clearly remembering the fangs ripping into her throat. 
“You chose the wrong moment to try to get to your car,” he went on relentlessly. “He bit you as I fought the others, forced his blood on you purely to stop me from pursuing him. He knew I would have to aid you rather than chase him down. It’s part of the Vow all Slayers take.”
“Stop it.” She bent over in pain, wrapping her arms around her waist. 
The words dropped like stones from his mouth. “I took you in because no one else wanted you. No one in the League would have you and I couldn’t chance giving you to anyone else to foster. I kept you by me to prevent you from going to your sire, and to monitor you for any signs of turning Outcast.”
“And if I did, you’d kill me,” she whispered, not looking at him. “That’s why you had to keep me close, isn’t it?”
He had to force the word out. “Yes.” 
She flinched as if he’d struck her. “I guess you went above and beyond the call of duty tonight, didn’t you?” 
He ached to tell her what tonight had meant to him, but he couldn’t. He didn’t dare. She could never know and he would never risk it happening again. Eli cursed his weakness. Even to drive her away, he couldn’t force out another word.
Renee raised tormented eyes to his face. “Why are you telling me this? Why now?”
Eli had to look away. He hated himself in that moment, hated putting those tears in her eyes, the pain in her voice. When she ran from the room, he didn’t try to stop her. After all, it was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it?
Renee slammed her bedroom door behind her and sank to the floor, tears flowing unchecked down her cheeks. How could he deliberately hurt her after what they’d shared? Hadn’t it been as special, as unforgettable to him as it had to her?
Obviously not. She buried her face in the sheet and sobbed. His scent rose from the cloth, surrounding her with memories of incredible closeness, of a connection with him that had seemed too perfect to be real.
And it hadn’t been real. She didn’t dare trust anything Eli did now.
She stood abruptly and flung the sheet away. She didn’t want any reminders of Eli and his lies right now. She turned on the shower as hot as it would go and scrubbed her skin viciously, washing away the memory of his touch. When every inch of her body was red and tingling, she toweled off and dressed, hardly noticing what she put on, only one thought in her mind.
She had to get out of here. If Eli didn’t want her, she wouldn’t stay.
Renee was afraid she’d run into him when she left the bedroom, but it was a risk she had to take. She moved on silent feet to the entryway and stood for a long minute, staring in sudden apprehension at the narrow fissure in the wall.
She’d never passed through there alone.
Eli had always been in her mind, holding the image of mist there for her. Renee squared her shoulders. She’d paid attention the last few times he’d called the mist. She’d felt how he’d accomplished it. She was certain she knew what to do. It simply remained to be seen if she could use that knowledge to perform the same feat. 
She shoved aside the memory of Eli assuring her that the mist would always be beyond her abilities—after all, he’d lied to her so many times, how was she to know what was true and what wasn’t? Gathering her strength and her courage, Renee concentrated hard and tried to bring the mist to life in her mind, focusing on the sensation of the change.
Weightless. Formless. Every cell in her body light, tingling, insubstantial. 
And slowly she felt the magic flow over her. Renee opened her eyes—but there were no eyes to open. She had no sensation of eyelids slipping back, just vision where a moment before there had been only blackness.
She’d done it.
Elation burst through her. Forcing herself not to think of her fear of enclosed spaces, Renee shot through the crack in the wall and sped for the surface.
Eli jolted upright at the sudden surge of power rushing soundlessly through the stones around him. This was no earthquake, no aftershock. That kind of power was only wielded by a vampire, a powerful one. He welcomed the thought of battle to clear his mind. 
Only a fool would try to find his lair and come to challenge him. 
His eyes narrowed. His home might have been found, but the intruder wouldn’t live long enough to tell anyone about it. He had worked on it for too long to abandon it now.
But first Eli had to make sure Renee was safely away from the battle to come. The thought of her being thrown into the middle of another fight made his chest tighten. He flung open his door and ran to hers, crashing inside without bothering to knock. “Renee!” 
Silence met him. Silence and emptiness.
Where the hell was she?
His battle rage turned to ashes but still Eli raced through the halls, looking in every room, even though in his heart he already knew. The emptiness was not confined to her rooms. It pressed in all around him. Eli finally stopped his futile search and leaned against the statue of the wildcat in the hall, his heart pounding. There was no intruder, no attacker. He stared down at the entry hall. His gaze fell on the fissure in the wall and the impossibility it represented. 
It couldn’t be true.
There was no other explanation.
Renee had summoned the mist and left him. Nothing else caused a power surge like that. She had done the impossible, what no vampire other than Eli had ever been able to do, and now she was gone. He ran his hands through his hair, cursing in four languages. He’d wanted to drive her away from him but he hadn’t thought she would actually leave.
He hadn’t thought she could leave.
But too late now, Eli remembered how she’d woken in the middle of the day to warn him of the earthquake he hadn’t even felt coming. He closed his eyes, his heart constricting. A few hours ago he had realized that she was more powerful than he’d ever suspected, and after taking his blood, there was no telling what she was capable of. 
She was stronger than she knew, but strength alone wasn’t enough. Despite her progress in sparring, she couldn’t adequately defend herself. His fists clenched as he remembered how easily he disarmed her every time they sparred. How readily he pinned her. Yes, he’d cheated, but so would the Outcasts. She had no chance in a real battle. His eyes flashed red and a growl rose in his throat. She couldn’t even consistently remember to keep her mental blocks up.
The Outcasts would find her, and even if they didn’t, Ronin would eat her alive.
He had to find her first.
Eli ran toward the fissure to the surface, not even pausing as he transformed into mist and raced after her. He was already scanning the night for her before he reached the surface. He would drag her back if he had to. This entire fiasco was his fault and he wouldn’t allow her to be harmed because he’d given in to weakness. 
He burst into the cemetery, already shifting back into his normal form, but he had to stop there even as every instinct he possessed urged him to hurry.
He couldn’t feel her. Not even the tiniest hint of her passage. Eli closed his eyes and raised his hands, sending his powers surging.
Nothing.
Eli struck out blindly in frustration, punching a hole straight through a granite gravestone. His desperation grew with each passing moment. Apparently he had underestimated her again because not only was Renee now blocking, she was blocking so well he couldn’t detect the faintest trace of her. He shifted his form again as he leapt into the air, this time transforming into an enormous owl before soaring toward the crowded downtown district. She would need to hunt, especially since he’d taken her blood earlier. The memory of it tried to overcome him but he shoved it ruthlessly away. He didn’t have time for that luxury. 
Once she was safe again, then he’d try to find a way to deal with what they’d shared.
 
* * *
 
Renee started to head toward the busy downtown area where she’d hunted with Eli before she changed her mind. If he was looking for her—she didn’t think it was likely, but it had to be considered—that was the first place he’d look. She couldn’t go there.
She hesitated only briefly before she felt her instincts calling her north, the opposite direction from the one she would normally have taken. She followed the call without hesitation. Every night she’d hunted with Eli, it had led her to easy prey.
She shoved the memory ruthlessly away. She refused to think of Eli. She used the knowledge he’d given her to hide from him when she felt him scan the night for her without even a twinge of conscience. She remembered what Sian had told her a sire should be—someone to protect and teach her, to raise her in the ways of her new life. Someone to provide a safe haven for her.
Eli had merely kept her near in case he had to kill her.
And she’d fallen in love with him. That hurt most of all. She loved him with every cell of her body, every fiber of her being, and he’d only taken her in because no one else wanted her. He’d been brutal when he’d shattered her heart, leaving her no shred of illusion to cling to. 
She was the child of an Outcast and as such she would always be suspect. Ronin’s vicious attack at the club made perfect sense now, as did Diego’s fierce reaction to seeing her near his mate. No matter what she did, even if she behaved with the utmost restraint and control at all times, they would always be watching her and waiting for her to turn.
And Eli was watching and waiting right along with them.
Renee wondered if this tearing pain was what the Outcasts felt, this sense of utter betrayal and defeat. Eli’s cold voice echoed over and over in her mind until she felt like screaming. If nothing she did would ever be good enough, why stay and experience this agonizing turmoil again and again?
She stopped at the outskirts of a residential neighborhood, pressing her hands over her heart as if that would stop its breaking. She bent over, gasping for air, trying to breathe through the terrible emotions. It was all well and good to rail against the injustice of it and resolve to leave, but there was nowhere for her to go. She didn’t know what to do. Her mortal life was long gone and with it everything she’d ever owned in this world. How would she live if she couldn’t create a safe haven for herself?
At last the answer came to her. She raised her head and resolutely wiped the tears from her cheeks. Eli and the others seemed to think it was only a matter of time before she turned. Well, if she turned now it would be their fault. They’d left her no other option but to seek the Outcasts.
She would find her real sire. He would take her in. He would have to, wouldn’t he? She would find her sire and see how he lived for herself. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as she remembered. Eli had been attacking him at the time, hadn’t he? Wouldn’t she have done anything it took to save her life in the same situation? She tried to ignore the doubts in the back of her mind as she strode resolutely forward. She had no better plan.
But before she did anything, she needed to feed. Her hunger led her onward.
Renee looked around and noticed her surroundings for the first time. She knew now why she’d been drawn here. This lower-class neighborhood had been decimated by the quake. Flimsy houses were reduced to piles of rubble, and nearby an ancient apartment complex had collapsed. Firemen and rescue workers were combing the destruction for survivors. The air was thick with the scent of blood, fear, and death.
She shuddered. Easy prey.
But something tickled her senses when she prepared to enter the chaos. Renee spun around, her hands upraised, her posture defensive, ready to protect herself from whatever was trying to sneak up behind her. The stance had been perfected during her sparring matches with Eli, but she tried not to remember how quickly he’d always beaten her. This was a time for action, not doubts.
A handsome young man stood there, smiling disarmingly at her. Renee didn’t trust his smile in the slightest. 
“Easy, there,” he said, holding up his hands. “I’m not going to hurt you. Are you looking for someone here? Maybe I can help you.”
He was a vampire. Renee smelled it on him. She wondered why he didn’t seem to recognize that she was one, too. Relying on senses she didn’t even know she had, she felt him sizing her up, eyeing her as prey. Her fangs lengthened in response to the threat and she snarled, preparing to fight.
He blinked at her in surprise. The easygoing manner vanished instantly. She watched as his fingernails lengthened into talons. “I do not know you, little one. Who are you? What Clan?”
A growl rose in her throat. “Don’t call me that,” she snapped, her blood boiling. “Don’t ever call me that.”
His eyes narrowed and she felt him tense to attack. “What is your Clan?” he demanded, a spark of red shining in his eyes. 
“I have no Clan.” She had to force the words past numb lips. It was only the truth. According to Eli, no Clan would have her. 
To her surprise, the stranger relaxed at her words. This time the smile he gave her was genuine. “We are of the same Clan. I am Kalen. Come, join our band tonight. It is dangerous to hunt alone.”
Her shock must have shown on her face because Kalen laughed, raking back his blood-red hair with one hand. “Surely you didn’t think you would be the only Clanless one called to such a feast?” he asked, still smiling. “Come,” he repeated. “The Slayers will come to this place soon. If they find you here, your blood will join these unfortunate humans’ in the gutters.”
Renee swallowed her sudden fear. This was an Outcast. Kalen was the very thing she’d been warned about, one of the creatures whom Eli had told her had no honor and lived to cause terror, but Kalen wasn’t threatening her now. He was offering her protection, a welcome none of the others had ever given her.
She wondered what other lies she’d been told about the Outcasts.
Kalen was frowning at her now. “Is something wrong?” 
She shook her head sharply. She felt his suspicion, his sudden wariness of a trap. “I have never met another Clanless one,” she told him truthfully. “I was taken by surprise, that’s all. I’m Renee.”
He relaxed again, clearly sensing the truth of her words. “Then come, Renee. The Slayers are nearing. Can’t you feel them?”
She stretched out with her senses, surprised when she not only felt the approach of the Slayer but was able to identify him. Ronin. She shivered in sudden fear. If he’d wanted to kill her before, she was certain nothing would stop him now should he find her in Kalen’s company. “Let’s get out of here,” she said urgently. “Ronin’s close.”
Kalen blinked, clearly surprised, but didn’t waste time commenting. Renee followed him as he ran quickly around the corner before shifting into the form of a stray dog. Hurry, hide yourself, he thought at her.
She shuddered at the touch of his mind. It felt unclean, almost oily, but she didn’t let herself dwell on it. He was right. She needed to hide but she had never taken the form of an animal before, not even with Eli’s help. She merged her mind completely with Kalen’s, studying the form of the dog, holding it in her mind and trying to shift her body into the unfamiliar shape.
He was startled but didn’t hesitate to help her. Seconds later, Renee looked down and saw paws instead of feet. Smells assailed her suddenly super-sensitive nose. She shook her head to clear it and a bubble of laughter rose in her throat at the strange sensation of her new, baggy lips flapping. Her laugh emerged as a yipping bark and she felt another strange sensation.
Her backside was shaking. It took her a moment to realize her tail was wagging.
Kalen nipped her flank to urge her into motion. He will find us, he sent urgently. If it truly is Ronin, as you say, he will see through this disguise quickly enough. We must get out of here, now! He took off at a run, his claws clicking on the dirty sidewalk.
Renee concentrated on blurring her thought patterns, disrupting the distinctive edge of her brainwaves to cloak herself from Ronin should he scan for them. Kalen suddenly skidded to a halt and she plowed into him before she could stop her momentum, then fought not to laugh again when he jumped about a foot straight up into the air. You’re there!
She did laugh at that, the strange yipping not unpleasant in her ears. Where else would I be? she replied.
His unmistakable admiration filled her mind. I cannot sense you at all!
Her laughter died and she stared at him in confusion. Can you not cloak yourself too? she asked, startled. She’d assumed everyone could do it.
He shook his head slowly, the dog’s dark eyes solemn as they surveyed her. You must teach us this, he thought. The Slayers sense us, as we sense them. As you sense Ronin. How can you hide so completely?
Renee’s puzzlement grew. Suddenly she felt Ronin, much closer this time. We’ll talk about it later, she cut him off, panicking. He’s looking for us. I think he feels you. Almost without thought, she extended the shielding umbrella of her power over Kalen, trying to cloak him from Ronin’s sharply-searching mind-probe.
Kalen darted away and Renee followed, hoping she was doing this right. She couldn’t stand it if Ronin killed Kalen. So far she hadn’t seen one thing to convince her that he was an evil monster. In fact, he had welcomed her more warmly than any of the League, had allowed her access to his mind and helped her to alter her form when she hadn’t been able to do it on her own. 
They ran full-out for many blocks before Kalen led her into a small park, his sides heaving as he panted to catch his breath. Renee was in no better shape, and the strain of cloaking them both was starting to catch up with her. A quick scan didn’t reveal any evidence of Ronin and she dropped the spell from around Kalen gratefully. 
I think we’re safe now, he said in tones of unmistakable relief. Those damn Slayers. Now instead of putting some poor half-dead person out of their misery in that wreckage, we’ll have to find fresh prey.
Renee reverted back to her normal form and sat heavily on the ground. Releasing the mental strain of scanning for Ronin and holding the shield was a relief. “You kill?” she asked, surprised.
Kalen likewise dropped the form of the dog. He merely shrugged at her question. “Would a slow death crushed beneath a building be any better, do you think?” he asked nonchalantly. “At least this way their death isn’t in vain. They aid us, and in return, we let them leave this world painlessly.”
She bit her lip. It sounded reasonable when he said it, but deep inside she still heard Eli’s voice. Killing is not a requirement of being a vampire, it is a choice. She looked away from Kalen’s open, handsome face and studied the trees instead. “I’ve never killed.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “How do you have such strength, then?” he asked.
Renee shook her head, confused. “I never knew I was particularly strong.” She certainly didn’t feel like it.
Kalen laughed out loud. She looked up at him, startled, and that sent him into a fresh gale of laughter. “She doesn’t think she’s strong!” he announced to the park in general. “What think you all of that?”
Renee abruptly became aware of the others in the park with them. She hadn’t been scanning or she would have felt them instantly, and she could imagine the sharp reprimand Eli would have given her for such carelessness. She scrambled to her feet as several more vampires emerged from the darkness between the trees, three men and two tall and lovely women. She brushed the grass from her jeans nervously. She’d never seen so many vampires in one place, and they were all staring at her.
And she realized she was surrounded.
One of the men stepped forward. Tall and heavily muscled, his black hair was cut short and lay close to his round head. On his massive neck and shoulders, his head looked ridiculously small but Renee had no doubt that anyone commenting such a thing would likely die a very unpleasant death. 
“What is your Clan, stranger?” he asked, his voice very deep and rough, as though he’d been a chain-smoker for the last hundred years.
“I have no Clan,” Renee repeated. When he nodded and smiled in welcome, she bit her lip. It seemed like she’d stumbled upon the code which allowed her entrance into their society completely by accident.
Or by instinct. She couldn’t stop the rush of adrenaline accompanying the thought. She’d been sired by an Outcast. Weren’t these her people? Was it so strange that she should know the words which gave her a place in their world?
“Greetings, Clanless one,” the muscular man said with a courtly, old-world bow. “I am Niko. You have already met Kalen, yes?” She nodded and he gestured at each of the vampires standing in a loose circle around her in turn. “Myra. Horace. Dabir and Lisette.” He smiled again and spread his hands. “My little family.”
She nodded to each in turn. “I am Renee.”
Kalen moved to her side. She found his movement somewhat possessive and stiffened before remembering how he’d aided her. Had he not warned her to Ronin’s approach, she wasn’t sure she would have felt him in time.
 “I bring her here,” Kalen said to Niko. “I have first right.”
Niko inclined his head. “Agreed.”
Renee had no idea what first right meant but Kalen went on before she could ask. “She says she has never killed, Niko.” 
Niko raised an eyebrow at her and she felt his disbelief. “How do you maintain your strength?” he asked curiously. 
Renee’s nervousness grew. She sensed that her admission hadn’t made her any points with either man, but backing down now would be dangerous. “Not by killing,” she repeated firmly. “And I don’t understand why you both say I’m strong. I’m just a fledgling.”
This time there was no laughter. A ripple went through the circle around her. The hairs on Renee’s arms stood on end and she scanned the area for Ronin or any of the other Slayers. She felt no one nearby but the sharp sense of danger was impossible to ignore. She unconsciously brought up her shields, closing her mind as Eli had taught her to do time and again, guarding herself against psychic attack.
Niko took a step forward, frowning at her. “Where is your sire?” he challenged sharply. “No fledgling could do these things you do without being taught.”
Renee bit her lip. “I don’t know where he is,” she admitted softly. “He was an Ou—he was Clanless too,” she hastily corrected herself. “I don’t remember much of the attack when he Changed me.”
The circle closed a little tighter around her. “Why would he Change you only to abandon you?” one of the women asked—Renee thought it was Lisette. 
She didn’t edge back though she wanted to. All her senses were screaming danger. Any hesitation, any retreat, and they would fall on her like a pack of wolves. Niko’s lust for her blood sang through the air, his desire to steal her power, but she gave no indication she’d detected his thoughts. “He was fleeing a Slayer. He turned me to distract the Slayer, to give himself a chance to escape.”
Dabir scowled at her. “And this Slayer allowed you to live?” 
Kalen stepped forward, placing his body between Renee and Dabir. Dabir bared his fangs but didn’t come any closer.
Renee didn’t like the interplay going on here. For a “family”, she felt a deep current of distrust between them. All of them. But she didn’t know what to do besides tell her story. 
“He let me live,” she said, trying to concentrate on words instead of picturing Eli’s face. Remembering how he’d cared for her during the Change, had coaxed her to drink the blood she’d needed to heal afterward. How he’d knelt at her feet to help her with her shoes when she’d been too weak to do it herself. “He taught me some things,” she continued doggedly, clearing her throat when her words came out husky. “I ran away from him tonight.” She said this last defiantly, staring Dabir straight in the eye, not caring if it was practically a challenge.
To her surprise, Dabir looked away first. Kalen stepped closer to her side but looked at Niko. “What say you, Niko?” he asked.
Niko’s face was impassive. “I feel the Clanless one’s blood in her, but I also feel another. She has lived with a Slayer, and yet she claims to have no Clan.” He rubbed the back of his thick neck absently before meeting her gaze. “I think she will hunt with us tonight, Kalen. Then we will see.”
Kalen grinned, relaxing, but Renee’s anxiety tightened. “I don’t kill,” she repeated. She sensed where this was going and refused to let them pressure her. “I will hunt, and I will feed, but I don’t kill.”
Niko surprised her by smiling at her. “Did your Slayer friend tell you anything of the origins of their League?” he asked.
She blinked at him. It seemed such a strange question, completely out of place in the current conversation. Still, she had no doubt who was the boss here. “I asked him once.”
Niko nodded. “And what did he tell you?”
She caught her fingers trying to twist nervously at the hem of her shirt and stuffed them into her pockets to hide the tell-tale action. “He didn’t answer me,” she admitted.
Niko nodded again. “Exactly as I thought. Their League, that organization of which they are so proud, of which they speak in such high and glowing terms, was created merely to exterminate us. They aren’t protectors. They’re murderers.” He saw the shock in her eyes and smiled gently at her. It looked odd on his chiseled face. “They are jealous of us, Renee.”
She frowned. It was hard to imagine Eli being jealous of anything. “Why?”
Niko took her elbow and guided her solicitously to a nearby park bench. When she sat, he stood beside her and gazed into the night sky as though contemplating its secrets. “Did you know vampires are descended from the gods, Renee?” he asked. When she shook her head, he nodded. “It’s true. A young god, impatient with the stupidity and ineptitude of the human race, decided to create his own race. A race of the strong, destined to rule the weak humans.
“His first child was an Atlantean wise man named Emrys,” Niko continued. “Emrys was the perfect embodiment of strength and power, the pinnacle of human potential. As a vampire he became almost a god himself. He roamed the land, choosing the best of the humans to share the dark gift, creating a perfect race.”
Niko frowned and his voice darkened. “Then the other gods intervened on the behalf of their precious humans.” Contempt dripped from his tone as he spat the word. “They created the first of the Slayers and charged them with the heinous task of destroying their own kind. They are the ultimate hypocrites. They hunt us down, leave us for the sun or cut off our heads or rip out our hearts, and yet we are the evil ones. We are the lawless ones. We are the Outcasts!”
Renee couldn’t look away from Niko. She understood why he was the leader. There was something innately commanding about him, something that made her believe him even as she struggled to see Eli in such a light. “Why?” she asked. “Why do they hunt you?”
Niko turned his compelling gaze back on her. “Why? They are jealous of our strength, of course,” he said, his voice gentle, his smile warm. “The blood of the god flows in our veins, pure and strong. We take what we need from the humans without this ridiculous sentimentality they cannot escape. They were programmed by the other gods to kill their own kind. They have no freedom. We have it all, Renee. We are gods on earth. They are merely the assassins, pawns in a power-struggle thousands of years old.”
Renee shivered at the picture he painted. She imagined her life as an Outcast, as a living goddess, humans doing her bidding without question. She imagined Slayers haunting her every step, seeking to kill her at every turn. She imagined the freedom Niko described and wondered where he found it. She had seen Kalen run at the mere approach of Ronin. Surely living in fear wasn’t freedom.
But Eli had told her nothing. She had no other story to compare to Niko’s. If his words weren’t true, why had Eli avoided her questions?
Niko clapped his hands suddenly, making her jump. “The night is young!” he said, his voice full of good cheer. It made her skin crawl. “Time to find a bite to eat, little Renee. Time to find out if you are a god or a pawn.”
Chapter Nine
Renee followed the Clan from the park, shifting with them when they took the form of a pack of stray dogs. She pushed aside her weariness at the rapid changing of forms—mist, human form, dog, human, and now dog again. She’d never demanded so much of her untried powers before. The need for blood sharpened and became a craving impossible to deny.
But she would not kill. About that she was adamant. She had survived this long without it, and they all thought her incredibly strong. She didn’t need to take a life to feed and she wouldn’t do it simply to make them accept her. She would rather be alone than be a killer.
Niko’s bulldog paused at the entrance to the park and the others melted into the bushes nearby. Renee did the same, the sleek little body of the greyhound she’d chosen hardly rustling the leaves of the shrub she slunk beneath. Kalen found a hiding place near her and she barely caught a glimpse of the tip of the German Shepherd’s tail disappearing into the foliage. She didn’t know what they were waiting for.
A moment later, she felt it again. The overwhelming sense of wrongness, of approaching danger she’d felt before the quake. Dread washed over her. She heard her own frightened whine and locked her jaws shut. No one had to tell her that showing fear in the company of half a dozen Outcasts wasn’t a good idea.
The park suddenly rolled, the trees shaking. Car alarms blared to life all around them. The aftershock wasn’t nearly as strong as today’s quake had been but it was still enough to be terrifying. Renee crouched close to the trembling shrub and stayed silent when she wanted to howl in fear.
People suddenly burst into the park, fleeing the shaking apartment buildings surrounding it. She kept her eye on Niko, understanding his plan. Why go to find prey when prey would come to them? 
But Niko didn’t move yet. He stood stock-still beside the stone entryway despite the heaving ground, the dog’s thick legs spread wide and his muscles bunching as he struggled to keep his balance. None of the others moved. Renee pressed harder to the shaking earth and watched with the others for his signal.
The instant the ground steadied, Niko leapt into motion. Renee’s haunches quivered in anticipation of her own leap but something held her back.
This was something she did not want to join blindly. 
The others had no such restraint. The dogs converged in a snarling pack. People screamed and ran from this unexpected new threat. Niko’s Clan herded them like sheep, cutting their chosen victims off from the exits and driving them deeper into the dark recesses of the park. 
Renee followed with her stomach churning. This was like no hunt she had ever seen. None of the vampires seemed to be making even the slightest effort to use their powers to make their victims willing, or even to calm them. She watched as a Doberman mix sprang onto one man’s back, brutally savaging his arms and legs before dragging him into the bushes by his neck.
The bulldog darted between a woman’s legs and tripped her. Before she even had a chance to raise her hands his jaws snapped closed on her throat. Renee watched the life drain from her eyes until only cold terror remained on her still, pale face. The others were just as cruel, delivering vicious bites simply to cause pain and fear before going for their prey’s throats. A child stood in the middle of the chaos, screaming in terror, and Renee reacted without thinking. 
Unconsciously enlarging her greyhound form as she went, Renee sprinted at top speed across the clearing to the child. She leapt in front of the little one as the German Shepherd lunged for it, hardly feeling Kalen’s claws tearing the flesh over her ribs as she snapped her jaws closed on the child’s jacket. Whirling in place, she raced away from the scene of death and destruction, dragging the child with her and following her nose and instincts to the largest concentration of humans she could find.
She had just caught a glimpse of a large group, thirty or more people grouped together, around the dry fountain in the middle of the park, when a huge weight hit her from behind. Renee stumbled and lost her grip on the child’s jacket as they tumbled together. Without even looking to see what or who had hit her, Renee drew her lips back in a fierce snarl and growled at the child, barking wildly, sending the screaming youngster fleeing toward the gathered humans.
Only then did Renee turn to face the one who had attacked her. Niko stood panting and glaring at her from the bulldog’s dull and blood-hungry eyes. Three others were lined up at his back—Kalen as the Shepherd, Lisette in Rottweiler form, and a huge Doberman that could only be Dabir. 
Not hungry, young one? Niko’s mocking voice echoed in her mind. You threw away a delicacy. Children are sweet.
Renee’s legs twitched with the effort of not turning to flee. Even enlarged far past the normal limits of the breed, she knew her greyhound had no chance against these. A fierce growl rumbled deep in her throat, resisting every effort to quiet it. You don’t hunt to feed, she accused furiously. You butcher for sport!
Niko’s amusement was like a dagger in her brain and Renee remembered, too late again, that she had forgotten to hold her psychic shields in place. Only now Eli was not here to fight for her, to make sure she came to no harm. She felt the lack of his protection acutely. 
And why should we not make sport of them? Niko demanded contemptuously. Look at them cowering there in the trees! They are cattle, Renee. It is a mercy to kill something so weak!
The bulldog barked once and the others closed in around her, driving her further from the clearing and fountain and into the shadows. Renee didn’t resist—not yet. She knew a fight was coming, but now was not her time. She would fight her way free or die trying, but not yet. Not now, when she was clearly outmatched. She would have to wait for her moment.
Another bark from Niko was answered by a pair of low snarls. Renee’s nostrils flared at the scent of blood and fear fouling the air, but none of the others noticed it. Their attention was directed at the trees behind her.
She looked too. Horace and Myra emerged from the darkness, two feral-looking curs, each leading a human by the hand. Renee saw blood dripping from their jaws onto the grass, but neither human struggled. Their blank eyes shone in the moonlight as they walked toward her like automatons. 
Perhaps your Slayer delivered your prey to you like this, Niko mused in her head. His mocking voice cut through the scream of pain he shot through her mind. Unknowing, unafraid. Do you prefer it this way?
Renee stared at them, a young man and woman barely in their twenties by the look of them, offered to her like a sacrifice. Despite the pain, despite her fear, she well understood the choice they offered her now. Niko was waiting for her next move. If she didn’t take what he offered, they would kill her. She knew it as well as if he’d spoken the words aloud. The choice was clear.
Her life, or theirs. 
No. Renee took an unconscious step back. She would not do this. 
That single step was all it took. With a howl of rage, Niko leapt for her and only the greyhound’s exquisitely honed reflexes allowed Renee to dodge his sudden attack. The pack surrounded her. Even the two curs left the couple brought to feed her and joined the circle, snapping at her and barking furiously.
No, this couple hadn’t been brought to feed her. They were brought to test her. And she’d failed.
Renee scrambled to her feet and turned cautiously, keeping her eyes on Niko with every move, all too aware of the others waiting for his signal to tear her to shreds. Speed, the only advantage her greyhound had over the others, was useless here. The others were bunched together too tightly around her. There was no gap in the circle she could slip through. She would have to fight her way out of this or die trying, because this time no one was coming to save her. Niko’s thick legs bunched, clearly readying to spring.
And as Renee gathered herself to meet his attack a sudden flash, too brief to be called a memory, of her passage through the fissure burst through the psychic attack tearing Renee’s mind to shreds. The mist! Desperate, she grasped it with all her might.
When Niko lunged at her, his formidable jaws closed on air as she shot away, a stream of fog streaking away from the carnage. The last thing she saw as she fled was Niko turning on Kalen and attacking him in her stead.
Renee sobbed inside as she darted through the night. There was no home for her there. She would not turn Outcast, would never become a beast like Niko and those with him. 
A sudden rush of fatigue rolled over her and Renee fell from the air, unable to hold the mist. At the last instant, she remembered Eli trying to teach her to make her body impervious to harm but it seemed like all her effort achieved was to keep her from losing consciousness when she slammed into the ground. Her hard impact with the pavement would have killed a mortal. The agony was indescribable as her shattered bones knit themselves back together, using the power in Eli’s ancient blood to heal her against all the laws of nature. It was a few minutes before she managed to push herself back to her feet. Every part of her body ached and throbbed. She hadn’t felt this terrible since the first time she’d woken after her Change.
Another wave of weakness swamped her and Renee looked suddenly up at the sky. The stars were fading. Dawn was coming. She covered her face with her hands, inexpressibly weary and discouraged. The day was breaking and she had nowhere to go, no one who would take her in, and not even any money to get a motel room to hide in.
But she only allowed herself a moment of self-pity. If she wanted to live she would have to find something, even if it meant sleeping down a hole or breaking into an empty house. Suddenly she wanted to live very much. She refused to meet her end this way. 
As she struggled to her feet, the final straw fell. Ronin’s presence suddenly screamed across her nerves like fingernails over a chalkboard and she slammed her mental blocks in place. God, would she never learn to shield herself?
Ronin wasn’t just hunting Outcasts tonight; he was hunting her. She didn’t know how she knew it but she was positive she wasn’t mistaken, just as she was positive she had little chance of escaping him. She was too inexperienced to block him as she ran in animal form.
And as tonight had shown, fighting was out of the question.
He would find her as soon as she relaxed. There was only one place where she would be relatively safe.
Renee sighed in resignation. There was nothing else to do. Welcome or not, she had to return to Eli.
Fatigue and hunger were riding her harder than ever when she arrived at the cemetery and slipped down the jagged fissure. Even though she’d dropped all her mental blocks to save her strength, Renee struggled to hold herself in mist form. It was much more difficult now than it had been earlier. 
To make matters worse, she sensed that dawn was only minutes from breaking. Although no light penetrated the fissure, she dreaded the lethargy the day forced on her. She didn’t want to imagine what would happen should she lose her concentration now as she had in the sky—the fissure here was narrow, the rocks around her jagged, and her mind shied away from the image of what would happen to her should she be forced back into human form here. She was positive it would make falling from the sky look like nothing.
But suddenly she felt a rush of power shoot through her, saving her from imminent danger. Eli surrounded her in a warm wave of energy, buoying her flagging strength and drawing her more rapidly down the narrow crack. Renee felt his anxiety and wondered at it even before she burst into the entryway and collapsed in her normal form, utterly exhausted.
Eli caught her before she fell to the stone floor and gathered her to his chest. “Where the devil have you been? I’ve been searching for you all night! What happened? Were you attacked? What the hell were you thinking?” he demanded in a rush, his hands running over every inch of her, clearly searching for injuries. 
A bolt of pain from her abused head made her moan and she swatted weakly at his hands. “Ow! Quit that!” 
He stopped at once. Eli cupped her chin in his hand and searched her face anxiously. “What happened?”
Renee remembered his rejection far too clearly and this display of concern made her wary. This was the last thing she’d expected after he’d driven her away. She wanted to pull away but she was too tired to fight. There was no choice but to let him support her. “I’m fine,” she told him, barely conscious of what she was saying in her pain and weariness, hoping he would let her go and let her collapse in peace.
He scowled at her as his arm tightened around her. “Damn it, Renee, you’re not fine. You’re hurt. I feel it. What happened to you?” 
It was too much trouble to answer. He tilted her chin back when she didn’t speak. It took her a moment to realize he was looking for bite marks on her throat. “No one bit me,” she tried to reassure him, wondering if he had honestly been searching for her all night. It was too incredible to be believed. “I just need to rest, that’s all.”
He swept her up in his arms and carried her into the den. She didn’t have the strength to resist and hated herself for loving how it felt to be in his arms again. When she shivered, he conjured a roaring fire in the hearth with a single glance before placing her gently on the couch. She sensed his worried gaze as he knelt beside her. 
“Why did you hide from me?” he asked again, but his voice was softer as he cupped her face in his hands. “You’re weak again. Didn’t you hunt tonight, Renee? Don’t you know how vulnerable you are in this state?”
Her laugh was bitter. “It became apparent.”
He frowned at her vague comment. “What happened?” he asked again, his voice no less urgent for its softness. 
She sighed. His obvious concern made it difficult to stay angry. His warm hands slid down her arms and closed over her cold fingers, and for a moment, she couldn’t help clinging to the strength he offered. 
But his harsh rejection replayed in her mind, every painful word he’d said to her echoing anew in her ears, and she pulled her hands free. “I had nowhere else to go, so I tried to find the one who turned me,” she told him coolly, opening her eyes to see if he had any reaction at all to her words. “Don’t worry, I won’t be staying. I wouldn’t have come back at all if I could’ve thought of anywhere else to stay today. You made it more than clear that I’m not wanted here.”
Eli went very still. His hands captured hers again and tightened, making it impossible for her to pull them away again. “And what did you find?” he asked, his eyes and tone suddenly and totally unreadable.
She swallowed with difficulty. Eli didn’t move but she felt the readiness of every muscle in his body in his sudden stillness all the same. Niko had watched her just the same way from the eyes of the bulldog when she’d defied him. Kneeling beside her, holding her hands, Renee knew Eli was as ready to spring as Niko had been even though nothing in his expression betrayed the slightest hint of his tension. 
Strange, this new ability she had to feel the intentions of others. Or had she had it all along and simply never needed to use it until she’d been out on her own? 
Eli’s grip tightened at her silence and Renee’s legs quivered with the sudden need to run. She didn’t know where the impulse to flee came from but it was strong, even stronger than it had been when Niko’s Clan had closed in around her in the park. 
“I didn’t find him,” she said nervously, fighting the urge to try to get away. She had no hope of escaping Eli and she knew it. Besides, she’d done nothing wrong. She had no reason to run. “But they found me. The Clanless ones, the Outcasts.”
Eli took a slow, deep breath. He bowed his head for a moment before meeting her eyes again. The sense of impending danger radiating from him did not lessen in the slightest at her answer. “Tell me what happened, Renee. Tell me where you’ve been tonight.”
“They hunted,” she whispered, reliving the horrible slaughter in the park. Screams echoed in her mind. “It was terrible. They tried to make me kill even though I told them no. They tried to force me but I didn’t do it, Eli. I swear I didn’t.”
He let out his breath in a long sigh and the tension melted from his shoulders. Only now that he released that tension did she see how rigid his muscles had been, and she abruptly remembered her first night as a vampire.
Remembered his warning that he’d slay her should she ever kill her prey. She wondered if he’d been readying himself to do just that. 
A shiver ran down her spine. No, she didn’t wonder. 
“You refused them,” Eli breathed as if stunned. “I’m surprised they let you live.”
She bit her lip, remembering her desperate flight, the flash of fangs and talons in the moonlight, the glittering spray of blood from their unfortunate victims. “It was more like getting away before they killed me, rather than them letting me live.” 
He didn’t reply. The tension in the room was unbearable, and with a deep breath, she forced herself to meet his eyes. “They—they told me some things,” she said carefully, nervously. “Things about the League, about the Slayers. About where we come from.”
Eli laced his fingers through hers. His grip offered comfort now, not bondage. “Tell me these things and let me answer their accusations.”
His calmness soothed her and when she spoke again it was easier. This was the Eli she knew, the one who had taught and protected her, the man who had made such incredible love to her. 
She forced herself to focus on the conversation, not the painful memories. “They said the League was formed with the sole purpose of eradicating them.” 
He nodded, not denying it. Renee looked at him in shock. She’d expected him to refute it and claim some higher purpose. “Why?” she asked plaintively. “Why do you want to kill them all? How can they all be evil?”
“They are killers, little one, all of them. They like blood spiced with terror and they take it all. They kill their prey, and at the moment of death, they devour the human’s life-force. They kill for pleasure even when they do not need to feed. Didn’t you see them do this tonight?”
Renee couldn’t speak, her eyes filling with tears as she pictured the couple who had been led to her. The group standing around the fountain was perhaps too large for Niko’s Clan to threaten but there was no hope for the pair who had been offered to her. Their faces filled her mind, young and helpless. 
“I left them to their deaths,” she breathed in horror. “I didn’t even try to save them!”
Eli squeezed her hands tightly. “No,” he said firmly. “Don’t do this to yourself. You could not have saved them, Renee. If you’d tried to rescue them, you would have been killed, too.”
Regardless of what he said, she knew the guilt of leaving the couple in the park to their deaths would haunt her. “Why do they do it?”
He sighed. “It gives them the ability to walk in the day, at least for a short time. Some would do anything to feel the sun on their face again, but the taking of a life does something to them. They become addicted to the high it brings to kill their prey. Like any addiction, the craving is nearly impossible to resist, and few of them try. Once that happens they’re beyond any hope of redemption.” He brushed a tear off her cheek, making her aware she was crying. “That is why we hunt them, Renee. They see humans as nothing more than food, or pawns to be turned into vampires at their whim. Just like what happened to you.”
They are cattle, Renee. It is a mercy to kill something so weak! 
Niko’s words echoed in her head and she knew Eli spoke the truth. She turned her face away and stared at the pillows on the couch. She forced the memory away and said the first thing that came to her, wishing she had the power to erase the horrible images from her mind forever. “They said it was our right to rule the humans. That we were created by a god to rule the earth.”
She felt rather than saw his sudden stiffening. “So, they told you that story.” 
She looked up at his strange tone. “Will you tell me a different one?” 
Eli shrugged, all fluid grace and nonchalance. She wasn’t fooled. He was wound tight as a bowstring again but she couldn’t figure out why. “Some of it is true,” he replied, looking past her rather than at her.
Renee stared at him. Niko’s story had been too incredible to be believed, and now Eli was telling her it was true? “You’re telling me vampires were created by a god who wanted to improve upon the human race? That we are all pawns in a power struggle between the gods and nothing matters except which race is more powerful?” 
“Do you believe that?”
His cool non-answer irritated her. “Well, what else should I believe?” she asked pointedly. “I don’t hear you offering any other explanation.” He didn’t respond to her unsubtle hint and she narrowed her eyes, suddenly furious at his reticence. 
Damn it, this time she would get a reaction from him.
“They claimed the League was jealous of them because the blood of this god runs purest in their veins. They said it was the League who were going against what he had intended, and the Outcasts kept closest to his plans when he created us. He hated humans and wanted vampires to exterminate them—”
Eli snarled and Renee couldn’t help but jump at the unexpectedly fierce sound. The firelight glinted off his fangs and she bit her lip at this evidence of his rage. She hadn’t sensed any emotion from him—but she rarely did. 
She felt his emotions now, though. Waves of frustration and anger filled the room. He paced away to slam a fist against the stone mantle, every movement a study in tightly-controlled fury. She scooted back on the couch in alarm. 
She’d wanted a reaction, but this barely-leashed violence hadn’t been what she had in mind. “Eli?”
He spun and she gasped at the fury in his suddenly blazing eyes. “And do you believe that?” he demanded. “That vampires were created by some foolish god to run amok, killing at will, with no thought but to dominate? Do you truly believe such evil would ever be created deliberately?” 
Unable to find her voice, she shook her head. Instinctively reacting to his anger, she slammed her mental shields in place.
Red flames flared in his eyes when he felt that shield go up. Suddenly he was before her and she involuntarily flinched when he reached for her. 
He froze. Visibly repressing his anger, he closed his eyes and bowed his head before walking away from her to lean against the mantle. His sigh held such sadness, it made her ache for him.
Her fear evaporated as she looked at him standing there silhouetted against the flames. She didn’t understand his pain but she ached to comfort him. Her earlier fury at him was forgotten. How could she stay away from him when he was obviously suffering? “Eli, please tell me what’s wrong,” she whispered. 
He turned and looked at her with haunted eyes. “You have to understand that it was an accident,” he said hoarsely. “No one even knew it was possible. Someone surely would have stopped it otherwise.”
She frowned. “I don’t understand. What was an accident?”
He ran his hands through his hair and dropped his head back to stare up at the ceiling with a harsh sigh. He hesitated so long that Renee was about to ask again when he looked back at her and finally replied. 
“They have some of it right,” he said, his voice low but clear. “But most of it is wrong. You’ve asked me before where vampires came from, Renee, and if you still wish to know, I’ll tell you how it started. How my foolish mistakes resulted in a new race and an eternal war.”
 
Chapter Ten
Renee stared at Eli and struggled to breathe.
His power surrounded him like a cloak. Like an aura, living and dangerous and intensely inhuman. Niko’s story returned to her—the Atlantean, the pinnacle of human strength, beauty, intelligence. Renee gaped at Eli as the realization burst across her mind.
 “It’s not possible,” she whispered. “No—it can’t be. It can’t be you.”
He gave her a painful, bitter smile. He walked slowly back to the couch and knelt on the floor beside her, taking her hands again. She was too shocked to flinch this time. 
“I’m sorry,” Eli murmured. “I should have told you before now. I should have told you first thing tonight, and instead I deliberately hurt you and drove you away. I didn’t want to frighten you—” He broke off and shook his head wearily. “No. I won’t lie to you now, little one. I didn’t tell you because it’s not something I’m proud of, Renee. I don’t want anyone to know my part in this.”
Little dark spots burst behind her eyes and Renee knew she was on the edge of fainting. On some level she’d felt it since the first time she’d seen him. His power was too great for any mere vampire, could only be explained if he was extremely ancient. Every legend she had ever heard about Atlantis swirled around her until she felt dizzy. She took a slow, deep breath and let it out again, trying to rein in her confusion and awe. 
At last she managed one word. “How?”
Eli stared into the fire, his eyes shadowed as the light danced over his face. “Like many before me and since, I was a fool for a woman,” he began softly, speaking to the fire and the ghosts of the past rather than to her, it seemed. 
Then he glanced up at her and saw her confusion. “My father wanted her,” he explained with a pained expression. “She didn’t return his regard. That never mattered much to him, though. I don’t think he ever even saw her, not really. It was the chase he loved, the pursuit and the thrill of victory when he finally seduced them. The conquest. After that he moved on to the next chase, the next thrill. He never seemed to tire of it.”
Renee bit her lip to keep silent. She didn’t understand what any of this had to do with becoming the first vampire, but she saw how difficult it was for him to speak of this at all. If he had to tell it in a circuitous way, she could understand.
“Nyssa held out longer than most,” he continued, looking into the fire again. “But no one ever resisted my father, not in the end. He always got what he wanted. She knew it as well as he did.” He turned Renee’s hand over in his, tracing her fingers. “She asked me to hide her,” he murmured. “Like a fool, I did. You see, I was also infatuated with her, and she knew it. She used me, just as my father would have used her. And I was too blind and besotted to know it.
“When my father discovered we’d been lovers, he was enraged. I never saw her again and I’ve never found out what happened to her, and I guess it doesn’t matter. She was certainly quick enough to leave me to my fate without a backward glance. But although he took his revenge on Nyssa personally, my father was too clever to do the same with me. He would never risk anything that would have hurt his standing with the other gods. Instead he spoke to Zeus and—”
Renee gasped and Eli glanced up at her. She knew she’d heard something wrong there. She was positive she hadn’t just heard him refer to his father as a god, hadn’t heard him say that his father had a conversation with Zeus, the ruler of the Greek pantheon. It didn’t make any sense at all. She had to struggle to force her numb lips to form words. “I don’t understand. You said—your father—”
He touched her hair and held her gaze, letting her see the truth there. “My father is Apollo,” he confirmed softly. “My mother is Nyx.”
The god of day and the goddess of night. 
For an eternal instant, everything froze. She’d been wrong. He wasn’t telling her how he’d attracted the attention of a god and become the first vampire. 
Eli wasn’t the Atlantean. 
He was the god.
Her vision constricted until all she saw was Eli. His perfection. His golden skin, as though he had been kissed by the sun despite his forced nocturnal life. The platinum hair like liquid moonlight. His midnight eyes which sometimes sparkled with a thousand stars. 
Day and night. He embodied the best of each. The room spun around her before Renee finally managed to take a breath again. “Oh my god,” she whispered.
He gave a short, bitter laugh. “Yes, you could say that.”
He was a god. She was sitting here staring at a god. Looking down at him there on his knees, Renee had never felt more terrified or intimidated in her entire life. Shouldn’t she be the one to kneel? This was all wrong. 
All the times she’d pushed him, baited him, tried to make him lose his temper… She shuddered. She’d never, never have treated him that way if she’d known. 
His dark eyes narrowed and she knew he’d felt her fear. She struggled to think of anything to say to appease him. 
She never got the chance. He moved with incredible speed, tugging her off the couch and into his embrace. One arm trapped her against his chest while the other hand cupped the back of her head as he claimed her mouth in a kiss that stole her breath. 
It was the last thing she’d expected—anger, maybe, not desire. Not a return to the wild passion they’d shared tonight, but when he opened his mind to hers, she knew this wasn’t a power play. His need filled her mind, desperate and untamed. He kissed her again and again, never giving her a chance to catch her breath. 
And suddenly she wasn’t kissing the god. She was kissing the man she’d wanted for weeks, the man who had given her such ecstasy hours earlier, and she lost herself in his taste and fire.
His mouth gentled as if he’d sensed her surrender. “I won’t have you fear me,” Eli breathed against her lips between kisses. “Do you hear me? I won’t have it!”
He didn’t let her reply. Long minutes passed, and only when she clung to him in total surrender did he lift his head again. “I don’t want you to ever look at me like that again,” he whispered fiercely as he held her locked in his embrace. “Never again, Renee. I have been feared all my life. I can’t stand it from you, too.”
She hid her face against his chest as his revelation crashed over her again. “But you’re a god.” 
He laughed, but it was a hollow sound. “A disowned, banished and forgotten god. Please, little one, I am the same man I was five minutes ago. Nothing has changed.”
She raised her head and caught the flash of pain in his eyes. With difficulty, she swallowed her shock and fear. This was as close as he could come to asking her to accept him as he was, and it melted her heart. “Tell me the rest,” she murmured. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear it, but she was positive he needed to tell it.
Eli loosened his tight hold on her but didn’t release her. She felt his heart pounding against her breast and wondered if he needed the comfort as much as she did.
Finally, he took a deep breath and spoke again. “As I said, Apollo went to Zeus and told him I was plotting against him. It was ridiculous, of course—only a suicidal fool would challenge the king of heaven—but since Zeus gained his throne through violence, he fears losing it in the same fashion. The gods’ justice doesn’t work like your justice here, little one. The accused must prove himself innocent, not the other way around. My father fabricated evidence of my guilt and I had none of my innocence, and I was condemned. Zeus banished me from Olympus.” 
Renee squeezed him tighter at the raw pain she heard in those words. The agony in his voice made her want to weep for him. He dropped his head to her shoulder, accepting her comfort. It was the first time he’d ever shown her a crack in his iron control. 
Despite his pain, despite the dark conversation, hope rushed through her. If only he could let down his guard, allow her in…
“I can’t make you understand what that means,” he told her hoarsely, bringing her back to the present. “What it is to be banished. Words aren’t enough. The gods were never meant to live on Earth, little one. We aren’t made for this world any more than humans are made to live on Olympus. It tears at us. We can’t rest. After a time, the need to return to Olympus becomes painful, impossible to ignore.” 
Renee held him tight, tears slipping down her cheeks at what he described. She couldn’t imagine living with the agony he bore. Stroking his hair, she tried to soothe him, to give him whatever comfort she could.
When he raised his head again, however, all emotion was gone from his gaze and he was again as tightly controlled as always. She barely had time to mourn the loss of his confidence before he spoke again.
“The banishment, naturally, included all my descendants. At the time I didn’t even think of it, as I had none and knew there were ways to prevent such things. I accepted my fate and put it out of my mind. Of course, nothing with the gods is ever as simple as it seems.”
The silence stretched until she had to break it. “You said it was an accident?” She barely remembered her own conversion and didn’t know how such a thing could be an accident, but she believed him.
He ran a hand through his hair before cupping her cheek gently. “You might know from your mythology that the gods need ambrosia,” he said, and she nodded. “It had been centuries since I’d had it. I was desperate, hurting. I was in a tavern, trying to drink enough to kill the pain for at least a few hours, when a man came to the bar and sat beside me. He’d had a fight with his wife, he complained to the innkeeper, and she’d cracked a pitcher over his head. One cut on his cheek was still bleeding a little. The innkeeper called him Emrys.” 
He nodded at the recognition in her eyes when he spoke the name. “The tales the Outcasts told you about the wise Atlantean being chosen because of his superior strength and intelligence—that’s all myth. Emrys was an Atlantean, but he was a fool and a drunkard. The only reason I noticed him at all was because he was bleeding.”
“Bleeding?” she echoed.
Eli nodded. “Before that moment, I had no idea what life and power there is in blood. It wasn’t what I needed, but it was close. I lured him into the darkness behind the tavern, created the physical adaptations necessary—” he ran his tongue over his teeth, “—and took what I needed from him.”
He glanced down at her briefly before looking away. She didn’t know what he was looking for, didn’t know if he found it, but he took a deep breath and continued. “I took more than I intended,” he admitted. “I only stopped when I heard his heart struggling to beat. There wasn’t enough blood left to sustain it. I didn’t know what to do—I was more than half drunk on his blood and the cessation of my pain—but I didn’t want him to die, so I did the only thing I could think of. I cut my wrist and pressed it to his lips, trying to give back some of what I’d taken.”
Renee understood now. “You didn’t know it would turn him,” she whispered.
He shook his head. “I would have let him die if I’d known what I was about to create. I carried him back into the tavern, paid for a room for him, and left him there to live or die on his own.” He bowed his head for a moment and she sensed his shame at the callousness of his action, but he looked back at the fire and spoke again before she had a chance to offer comfort. 
“I was more careful after that, never taking that much again, and I have to admit I simply forgot him. It was over ten years later when I heard the rumors and thought of him again. Tales of another like me, roaming the land drinking blood, and worst of all creating others. I remembered Emrys. It seemed incredible, but there was no other explanation. I tried to hunt him down before he could pass my curse to too many innocents. I’d never intended to force this on anyone and I was enraged at the thought of Emrys doing the same thing to others. I hunted for him, but it took almost a year to catch him.”
Eli’s eyes grew haunted. “I found him. He remembered me. We fought, but when I was on the point of killing him, he begged for mercy. He said he hadn’t wanted this, but I hadn’t given him a choice. Who was I to judge him for making the best of it? He’d been lonely, and that was why he’d turned his wife. But soon she became drunk on her new power and left him, and rather than be alone again he’d turned another young woman. How could I judge him for wanting a companion?
“You might not believe it now, but I wasn’t a warrior then. I didn’t have a warrior’s cynicism. I pitied him.” Eli spat the words as though admitting some heinous sin. “He was right about many things. He hadn’t chosen what he was any more than I had, and I understood his loneliness and desire for companionship.” He cleared his throat, glanced at her again, looked back at the fire. “I let him go.”
She hugged him silently. She didn’t think showing mercy was such a terrible thing. If only she knew how to make Eli see things the same way.
Eli shook his head sharply as if shaking off the memory. “Everything he told me, of course, was a lie.”
Her jaw dropped at the absolute certainty in his voice. “How can you be sure?”
His face tightened. “I found his wife several years later. She begged me to undo what had been done to her. She told me how Emrys had shown up at their home after being missing for over a year. He’d attacked her, forcing his blood on her as I’d done to him. He already had a harem of women with him, all vampires, all converted against their will. None of them knew how to survive in their new existence. They were utterly dependent on him and he held them for years, adding to their number when a new woman caught his eye and killing or banishing any of them who dared to displease him.”
Renee’s stomach clenched. The fate he described might so easily have been her own, if Eli hadn’t taken her in. 
“When I told her I couldn’t make her human again, she begged me to kill her. I told her to think about it, not to make such a decision lightly, but when I woke the next night she was back. She had two other women with her and they all begged me to end their suffering. They didn’t know how to hunt and were starving. They were living in agony—eternal death instead of eternal life. The only thing they’d ever found that could harm them was fire, but they feared such a death. They wished every night for another way to die.” He paused for a moment before taking a deep breath. “I granted their wish. They came to me and I took their blood—all of it. It was the most painless way I could devise.”
He didn’t look at her. She tightened her arms around him, offering support she knew he wouldn’t take. “You helped them, Eli. You gave them mercy.”
“I gave them torment,” he said harshly. 
She shook her head. “It was Emrys. Not you!”
He shrugged as though the distinction made no difference. “I hunted him down, and this time there was no mercy. He laughed as I held my sword over his heart. He told me the last fifteen years of his life had been worth whatever death I gave him. I was enraged at his boasting—he claimed to have created over a hundred vampires, mostly women taken unwillingly, but some of both genders who had longed for power and delighted in using it as he had. He’d been a god among insects, he said, and nothing I did to him would make him regret it.”
“I remembered the faces of the women he’d tormented, those poor women who begged me to kill them rather than let them continue to live this way, and I gave him the most horrible death I could imagine.” He met Renee’s eyes and this time, she saw no regret there. “I gave him to Apollo and named him my descendant, and I stood aside to let him burn.”
Her stomach turned but she didn’t flinch away from his gaze. “It was no more than he deserved,” she whispered, remembering her own fear and grief when she’d learned that she had been Changed without her consent. Having been through it herself, she couldn’t feel any mercy toward anyone who would purposefully do such a thing, not only do it but delight in it. “He was an Outcast, the first Outcast. You were right to—”
“No, little one,” Eli interrupted her, his voice gentle. “Haven’t you been listening? I am the first Outcast.”
She gasped. It was the last thing she’d expected him to say. “No, that’s not true! You—”
“Was I not driven from my home, banished from my family?”
“You were innocent!” Renee protested. “Apollo—”
“Have I not made vampires against their will?” 
“It was an accident!” 
“Have I not killed as I fed?” he pressed relentlessly.
She shook her head. “You granted the wishes of those tormented women. You gave them the only peace you could—”
“Damn it, Renee, open your eyes! If not for me, they would never have been tormented at all!” 
He stood abruptly and strode back to the fireplace. Renee couldn’t think of a thing to say to comfort him. What he was saying, what he thought of himself, was impossible for her to comprehend. 
“But Apollo helped you when you needed it,” she stammered, her mind still reeling. “When you brought Emrys to him, I mean. He—”
Eli laughed. It was a dark, humorless sound. “Yes, he killed Emrys, if you call that help. I was skilled with my blades, but I’d never killed in cold blood before, only the ‘mercy’ you claim I gave those women. In exchange for his aid, Apollo gave me a little gift—a curse to add to my banishment.”
Renee hadn’t thought anything else could shock her at this point, but that proved her wrong. Her voice didn’t want to work. “Wh—what?”
He closed his eyes and recited in a low, bitter voice. “By blood you wrought unnatural life, and by blood I give you eternal death. Any now transformed by your tainted essence will inherit your power and your curse—eternity without day, hunger without cease, lusting after life and bringing only death, a plague on the Earth that will multiply throughout the generations.”
The flat, dead way he recited his curse sent shivers down her spine. There was no doubt in her mind that Apollo was the originator of the Outcasts, not Eli, but she had no idea how to convince him of that. 
Before she could think of a thing to say, Eli had gone on. “I have tried to undo what I have unleashed on this world. I created a doomed race, afflicted them with my own curse, the need for blood, the inability to bear the sun, and bound them to the world with an echo of my own immortality. I tried to stop it—heaven knows I did—but it continued. I even tried to stop it with my own death, but the gods are beyond a mortal death. Nothing in this world can kill me.
“I have hunted and I have killed, and when I knew I couldn’t do it alone I created another to help me, the beginning of what would become the Guardians’ League. I stole him from the edge of death on a battlefield and gave him this cursed existence in place of the Elysian Fields. Merin hunted by my side for a hundred years before he succumbed to my curse and turned Outcast.” His voice was tormented. “I killed him, too.”
He looked back at her and she shivered at the agony in his eyes. “I look at you and I see those women.” His tone was harsh with self-contempt. “You should never have been a vampire. I knew it the night you were Changed, but I didn’t listen when Diego urged me to stop it before it was too late. I thought I could make it better for you. I couldn’t save them but I tried to save you, Renee. I thought I could save you.” He hung his head. “Until I let you take my blood and doomed you all over again.” 
She couldn’t take this anymore. “You aren’t to blame for Apollo’s curse. You aren’t responsible for what Emrys did or for the ones who choose to forget their humanity and turn Outcast,” she said softly, standing and walking to his side, ignoring her shock and fatigue. She took his hand and deliberately laced her fingers through his. “I have seen them tonight. They are cold and cruel and completely unfeeling. You are no Outcast.” 
He stood stiffly for a long moment before drawing her into his arms and holding her tight. “Forgive me for the things I said to you,” he murmured against her hair. “When I realized what we’d done, that you’d taken my blood, I was terrified. All I could think of was watching my curse take you as it has all the others. It would destroy me to hurt you, Renee.”
She tried to smile at him, to reassure him. “I’m glad to hear it. But Eli, I will not turn, I swear it.”
He continued as though she hadn’t spoken. “I kept you by me for that reason, to slay you if you turned, but I didn’t think—I didn’t expect this.” He kissed her forehead before resting his cheek atop her head. “But I would do it,” he whispered, a shudder traveling through his body. “I would do it, little one, and I would hate myself forever for it.”
“You won’t have to,” she repeated, ready to say it a thousand times if she had to. She tightened her arms around him. “I swear it, Eli. I don’t care what anyone says about tainted blood or anything else. It’s nonsense. If I was going to turn, don’t you think I’d have done it tonight?”
When he didn’t loosen his grip, she knew he wasn’t hearing her. Renee leaned up and brushed her lips across his jaw, her only thought to comfort him. If he couldn’t or wouldn’t hear the truth of her words, she would show him another way. He jumped as thought she’d burned him and she smiled up at him. 
“Relax,” she said, running a hand through his hair and trying to draw him closer. “I’d say I won’t bite, but I’m not sure it’s a promise I can keep.”
He looked at her, his dark eyes haunted. “How can you possibly still want me?” 
She tugged his hair, a tiny punishment. “I can think of lots of ways,” she teased. “Come here and let me show you a few.”
“Renee—”
She went up on her toes and silenced him with a kiss. She didn’t let him pull away and when he refused to open his mouth, she bit his lip before drawing back. “Eli,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him, “I am trying to kiss you, in case you haven’t noticed. This is your cue to kiss me back.”
He shook his head at her teasing, but still didn’t look directly at her. “Weren’t you listening to anything I told you?” 
She sighed. She felt his desire for her—pressed as close as they were, it wasn’t something he could hide—but his will was indomitable. 
Good thing hers was, too.
Renee tapped his cheek until he met her gaze. “I heard every word. I heard that you were framed by a vindictive father for something you didn’t do. I heard how unbearably you suffered before finding something to ease your pain, and that you tried to save a man’s life without knowing he would become a vampire. I heard that you were merciful, first to one who didn’t deserve it and then to three women who did. I heard that you’ve spent untold centuries protecting mankind and that you will stop at nothing to keep the innocent safe.” 
He cupped her face in his hands. “And that I would kill you if I had to. Did you hear that, too?”
“Do you think I would want to live as a monster? That wouldn’t be me, and I would rather die than be an Outcast. If you hadn’t taken me in I might never have known there was another way to live as a vampire, but you saved me.” She smiled at him. “Now it’s your turn to hear me, Eli. I love you, not in spite of what you are, but because of it.”
This time when she kissed him, he didn’t resist. He groaned against her lips and held her tight, lifting her completely off the ground and shuddering when she wrapped her legs around his waist. “Say it again,” he breathed against her lips.
“I love you,” Renee whispered. “I lo—”
He stopped her mouth with another kiss, hot and wild. She was vaguely aware of movement a bare instant before he lowered her onto the couch, blanketing her with his body as he kissed her as though he couldn’t get enough of her. On fire with need, she tugged at his shirt and he broke away just long enough to yank it over his head and throw it away before feasting on her mouth again.
Eli shivered when her hands found his bare chest. Her words still echoed in his ears, driving out every concern, every thought but the driving desire to possess her. Never in his life had anyone spoken those words to him. 
No one had ever given him anything more precious.
Renee’s hands were everywhere, tracing every inch of him as though memorizing him. Every restless caress sent heat swirling in his veins, and the feel of those gorgeous legs wrapped around him made him shiver from head to toe. He’d never wanted anyone the way he wanted her. She made him weak, made him burn, made him want to keep her safe in his arms forever so he could hear those amazing words from her lips again and again. 
He unbuttoned her blouse and cupped her breast, delighting in her low moan of pleasure. He kissed his way down her sweet throat, running his tongue across her collarbone before scraping his teeth lightly over the soft swell of her breast. Her pulse skipped in anticipation but he teased her, blowing a hot breath across her taut nipple, trailing kisses down the valley between her breasts, ignoring the urgings of her hand buried in his hair. 
Only when she cried out, demanding more in a voice that was half plea and half command, did he suckle her.
She writhed with pleasure and he groaned against her skin. Passion rapidly built to the breaking point. He needed her naked beneath him, but there was no way in hell he’d release her long enough to get rid of the layers between them. The rest of their clothing vanished at his thought. She laughed at his desperation, the sound unbearably sweet in his ears.
He kissed her, ravishing her mouth, taking what he wanted without apology and delighting in how she met his passion with demands of her own. This time there would be no going slowly. His need was too great for restraint and he thanked the heavens that her desire matched his. 
And when she filled his mind with the echoes of her pleasure and love, he couldn’t stand to wait any longer.
Her thighs parted as she sensed his thoughts. Eli thrust forward slowly, prolonging the glorious friction as long as possible. Shudders of pleasure racked his body at the incredible sensation of being buried inside her. Renee arched beneath him, urging him to move, and it was a command he had no desire to resist. 
By Luna, had anything ever felt better than this woman’s slick heat wrapped around him? Nothing on Earth or Olympus could even come close to her passion. She moved with him, every thrust of her hips spiking almost unbearable pleasure through his body. 
The sting of her nails on his back heightened the sweetness of their loving. Her hunger permeated his thoughts and his body responded with a desperate yearning for her, his fangs aching in his mouth as every instinct demanded he give her the sustenance she needed. The memory of her mouth at his wrist was an erotic torment, reminding him of the ecstasy his taste had brought her. 
And he knew he could give her that incredible pleasure again and again. Resisting was the hardest thing he’d ever done. The promise of an eternal bond beckoned, the desire to take the next step impossible to ignore. The need to tie her to him, to bind her so she could never leave him, pounded through his brain. He ached to reinforce their fragile bond with another exchange and knew she wouldn’t resist. 
But she didn’t know what it meant. He had to remember that. She didn’t know.
No, damn it. He should never have given in to that temptation once. To do so again would be unforgivable. 
But he hadn’t planned on Renee taking matters from his hands. She abruptly tore away from his lips and rained a line of hot, open-mouthed kisses down his throat. Her hot breath teased his skin as she nibbled. 
His entire body tensed. He’d never wanted anything more, and he had to stop her. “No, baby, we can’t,” he said hoarsely, tangling his hands in her hair and urging her mouth away. 
She growled and nipped him harder, refusing to let him deny her the exchange she craved. The link between them gave her the only weapon she needed to overrule him. Her emotions abruptly filled his mind in a wave of bloodlust and need. 
Eli was lost in an instant. His body burned with her pleasure, his mind overflowed with her love and hunger, and every thought of his own drowned in a haze of passion. The bonding instinct overwhelmed his fears with the imperative to provide anything she needed. This was his woman, his lover, his Chosen mate. Refusing her was impossible. 
She doesn’t understand, she doesn’t know what she’s offering, Eli told himself desperately, trying to combat temptation and do the right thing for once in his life. He knew every exchange bound her to him a little more, tied them together in ways she didn’t understand. She didn’t know, but he did. 
And heaven help him, he wanted it. All of it.
Her teeth teased his skin, her tongue drawing an erotic little pattern over his thundering pulse. Unconsciously he turned his head, offering her complete access. Desire spiraled out of control between them as her love filled his mind. 
Anything you need, he thought, drunk on feeling.
Her triumph surged through his mind. “Then do this for me,” she whispered, shattering any resistance he might have had left just before she sank her fangs through his skin. 
His iron control was no match for the white-hot pleasure she shared with him, and Eli lost the battle to resist. She cried out with pleasure when he bit her. 
The sweet ecstasy of their mutual sharing was intense, a firestorm of desire. The soft caress of her mouth against his skin was magnified a thousand times by the echoes of her passion flowing through him. He focused every ounce of the pleasure flooding his mind and body, and sent it like a thunderbolt straight through her.
Her response was instantaneous. She cried out against his throat as she came and almost immediately came again, her body tightening and rippling around him, caressing him right to oblivion with her.
Long moments passed before Eli could even think again. He felt her close the small wound on his neck and healed the pinpricks on her shoulder with a leisurely sweep of his tongue. Mindful of her weakness he’d been careful not to take too much from her, only enough to complete the exchange. 
And on the heels of that thought came a wave of regret. Damn it, he’d sworn not to do this. Had he no regard for her safety, no control at all?
The answer to that was clearly no. Regardless of what she believed, he had the experience of aeons to back him up. His blood was fatally dangerous to her. Not only that, they had taken one step closer to bonding forever, and he hadn’t even asked her if she wanted it. Eli squeezed his eyes shut against the flood of self-recrimination threatening to drown him. 
His every thought and action had been under iron control for centuries, and now he utterly lacked it. Why couldn’t he find the strength to push her away?
His heart leapt as her lips brushed his jaw and he knew exactly why he hadn’t pushed her away. No woman had ever affected him this way. 
Renee accepted him. 
He’d never experienced anything like the courage of this woman. She knew everything now, every sordid and shameful deed of his past, and she hadn’t turned away. Instead she’d matched his passion with her own and hadn’t let him keep his distance no matter how hard he’d tried. 
Sweet Luna, she was too irresistible. How could he protect her from his curse when he couldn’t bear to deny her anything?
“We really shouldn’t do that again,” he murmured in her ear before resting his forehead against hers, knowing he’d do nothing differently were he given the same chance again. 
Heaven help him if she ever realized the power she had over him.
She sighed, utterly sated in every way, and kissed him lightly. “Yes, we really should.” Then she giggled and snuggled closer. “I knew there was a reason you’re such a divine lover.” 
He groaned at her pun. “That was really bad, little one.” But exhilaration burst through him at her lighthearted words.
Surely she couldn’t despise what he was if she was teasing him about it?
This time her laugh was decidedly sexy as she leaned up to nibble at his lips again. “No, I thought it was really good.”
He laughed with her, loving the way her skin felt on his, warm and slick with their exertions. Loving the way she smelled of him. Their mingled aroma was the sexiest thing he’d ever smelled. How could he want her again already? 
Eli forced himself to pull away before the first sparks of desire turned into a blaze. He had to talk to her before they made love again, had to explain to her what the blood exchange meant regardless of his fear that she would hate him for it. Nothing in the world gave him the right to take this from her without her consent and he was already dangerously close to doing just that. 
If he had complicated her future with the first exchange, this time he had jeopardized it almost beyond repair. Should she find a vampire she desired, their bonding would be incredibly difficult after what she had unknowingly shared with him. 
One exchange would have been difficult to undo. 
Two might be impossible.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured, fighting down an insidious burst of joy at the thought that Renee might be unable to bond with anyone else now. 
“You didn’t hurt me,” she said, her voice already growing sleepy. “And if you keep worrying about this cursed blood nonsense, next time I bite you I’ll make sure it hurts you.” She paused, then nipped his throat in a way that was clearly meant to be threatening but only succeeded in sending a shiver through him. “A lot.”
He chuckled. He couldn’t help it, even though he knew he should tell her the truth and tell her now. She’d said she loved him. She’d given him her heart. The least she deserved in return was his honesty. He had to tell her what was happening between them—to do otherwise was reprehensible. But instead he kissed her and rolled off the couch to lift her in his arms without saying a word.
Once more, a tiny voice whispered in the back on his mind, and though he silenced the voice, the temptation would not die. Once more, and she’s yours forever…
No. It was wrong. He had to tell her the truth. Tomorrow, Eli promised himself as he carried her to his bed and held her tightly as she snuggled close. She rested her cheek against his chest, curling against him without even a trace of the fear he had dreaded. She brushed her lips over his skin and his entire body heated in response. Tomorrow I’ll tell her what it means and face the consequences.
But for now, for once in his eternal life, he wanted the fantasy. Surely that wasn’t too much to ask. He kissed her forehead and tangled his fingers in her hair as she drifted off to sleep, daring for the first time since his banishment to imagine a blessing in his life. To hope for something in his future other than duty and pain, something good, something no one could take away from him.
A bondmate.
One more exchange and they would be bound, heart and soul, for all eternity. He would never be alone again. His heart leapt at the fantasy and he closed his eyes, reveling in the sweet curve of her body against his and the softness of her hair spilling over his chest. One more exchange and he would have this contentment every day for the rest of forever. Just once more…
And he would be the worst kind of thief. 
He sighed and tightened his arms around her. It had gone too far. He had to tell her. 
He just didn’t know how.
 
Chapter Eleven
Renee woke with the sunset and stretched like a cat, utterly content. At once Eli’s arms tightened around her and she felt his lips brush her forehead. “Good evening,” she murmured, raising her head for his kiss.
He didn’t disappoint her. He kissed her slowly, thoroughly. When he broke away, he drew her head back down onto his chest where she heard the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear. She sighed and smiled as his hands caressed her back in long, soothing strokes. She turned her head to press a soft kiss to his collarbone, delighting in his shiver.
Before she could take things any further, however, Eli shifted away. Renee glanced up at him, surprised. He smiled at her to take the sting from his rejection. “We have to talk,” he said, tracing her cheek with a fingertip.
Apprehension cooled her desire instantly. She didn’t want to spoil this perfect moment with words. Bitter memories of the last time she’d woken in his bed tried to rise and choke her but she forced them away. His eyes were so warm she couldn’t make herself believe he regretted what had happened, or meant to try to drive her away again. 
Still, that didn’t mean she necessarily wanted to hear what he had to say when a much more enjoyable pastime beckoned. She trailed a fingertip over his chest, then circled one flat nipple. “Do we have to? I might have a better idea. Want to hear it?”
Eli’s eyes flared with desire as he caught her hand and kissed every one of her fingers. But he laced his fingers through hers and simply held her hand to his chest rather than allowing her explorations to continue. “There are things that must be said between us. Things you must know before we make love again.”
Renee sighed and rolled away from him. Dread coiled deep inside her despite his reassuring manner. “Fine, if you insist.”
He didn’t allow her to retreat. In an instant she found herself in his arms again, her back pressed against his bare chest, their legs entwining intimately. His mouth traced a fiery line across her shoulder to her throat before caressing her ear with his tongue. 
In spite of her nervousness, Renee’s eyes fell closed as delicious sensations shivered along every nerve. Right now he could tell her anything he wanted and she would agree, so long as he didn’t stop. The man had a wicked way with his mouth. 
“Eli?” she whispered, trying desperately to hold on to her reason as it fled before the promise of his incredible passion.
He buried his face in her hair for a long moment before he spoke. Had it been anyone else, Renee would have thought he didn’t know how to begin, but she couldn’t picture Eli as anything but supremely confident. 
His low murmur finally rumbled in her ear, more felt than heard. “You’re strong, little one. Especially for a fledgling.”
She frowned, unsure how to respond. Whatever she’d expected, it hadn’t been a discussion of her powers. “The Outcasts said the same thing.” 
His arms tightened protectively around her at the reminder of her harrowing night. “What else did they tell you?” 
Renee wished she could see his face, wondering if it would give her some clue to where he was going with this. She thought back over everything that had happened the night before, trying to remember what they’d said to her. 
Suddenly something that had puzzled her last night came back to her. “What does first right mean? Kalen—the one who brought me to the park—he claimed first right, and their leader agreed.”
A low growl escaped Eli and his embrace turned hard and possessive for a bare instant. Renee’s eyes widened at his violent reaction to her simple question but when his lips caressed her bare shoulder again, the sound evaporated as though it had never been. 
“He was warning the others away,” he said against her skin, and despite his obvious effort to control it, his tone was dark and dangerous. “Claiming you as a mate.”
Renee’s breath caught in horror. The thought of being bound forever to a vicious monster like Kalen froze her blood. “He can do that? He can claim me, make me be his mate—whether I wanted him or not?”
Eli’s mouth stilled on her skin. He didn’t reply. She frowned. If she didn’t know better she would have sworn he was holding his breath.
Alarm made her heart skip a beat. Did his silence mean it was true? Anger rose hot in her chest, drowning her fear and forcing away her confusion. “He had no right!” she cried. “How dare he? Just because he found me—”
Eli suddenly rolled her onto her back and cut off her words with a searing kiss. Her anger fled instantly. How could anyone else claim her when all Eli had to do was touch her and she melted? She clung to him, wanting to lose herself in the magic they shared and forget this entire strange conversation he’d insisted upon.
But Eli pulled back after only a moment. He pressed his cheek against hers, hiding his face when she desperately wanted to look into his eyes. “You have not been claimed, little one,” he whispered, his words hoarse with an emotion she couldn’t name. “The choice of a mate is yours and always will be. I swear no one will take this from you against your will. No one.”
She didn’t reply. Instead she kissed his throat, her panic fading at his reassurance. She couldn’t imagine anything worse than being bound to a man she hadn’t chosen, a man she didn’t love.
A man who wasn’t Eli.
Eli sighed and kissed her once more before resting his forehead against hers. “I’ve kept you here longer than I should,” he told her softly. “You don’t need my protection any longer. You need a safe place of your own, Renee.”
She gaped at him in dismay. Lying here in his arms, her lips tingling from his kisses, her body still replete with the power of their lovemaking, it was the last thing she had expected. “You want me to go?” she asked, unable to keep the pain from her voice. 
He groaned and tightened his arms around her. “I want you to have choices. I don’t want you to stay because I forced you,” he whispered, his voice almost inaudible. “Not because you have no other options.”
She didn’t understand. Eli wanted her. She knew he did. Why was he doing this now? Renee wanted to kiss him, to remind him of what they had shared last night, but he pulled away before she got the chance. He drew in a shuddering breath as she gave in to the urge to run her fingertips down his chest. 
“You tempt me past all good sense,” he said, bringing her hands to his lips to nibble her fingers. Her heart raced. “But we have much to do tonight and we can no longer linger abed.”
Renee frowned at his retreat. Whatever the point of that strange conversation had been, he’d apparently made it and was ready to go on with the night’s business. She didn’t know quite how to take it. Was he rejecting her or not? Last night he had told her what she was certain he had never told another living soul, trusting her completely. Now he was urging her out of his bed and out of his home. The man gave new meaning to the phrase “mixed signals,” even as his words and his obvious reaction to her touch gave her back some of her confidence. 
But not all of it. Did Eli want her or not?
She refused to leave things this way. She bit her lip and glanced up at him from beneath her eyelashes before rolling onto her knees and inching closer, determined to find the answer.
Something in her eyes must have given her away because Eli looked at her warily. A shiver ran through his body. “Cease whatever it is you’re planning, little one.”
Her smile was frankly sexy as she edged closer still. Oh, yes, he wanted her. “You have no idea what I’m planning,” she purred, leaning and flicking her tongue along the line of his pulse before moving to his chest. “Are you trying to tell me you don’t want to find out?”
His breath came faster. “I think you’re going to make me forget all my good intentions,” he groaned as she trailed kisses over his chest. 
“You think right,” she agreed against his skin, thrilling that he obviously craved her touch. She bent suddenly to press hot, open-mouthed kisses along his bare thigh, moving slowly upward, hearing his breath catch and laughing low in her throat.
Eli released her wrists to bury his hands in her hair and pull her away from her goal. “Would you have me beg for mercy?” 
She laughed. “Well,” she said slowly, pretending to consider the question. When he growled, she laughed again. “I’ll give you mercy,” she teased as her fingers closed around his cock. “But not right now.”
His entire body shook as she stroked him. She reveled in her power over him, in this proof of how she affected him. “Renee, we can’t—” 
“Hush,” she commanded as she pushed him back onto the bed. In one fluid move, she straddled his waist and slid down over him, sheathing him to the hilt. His hands found her hips as they both moaned from the glorious sensation. She rocked slowly, her head thrown back, ignoring his attempts to spur her to a faster pace.
This time she was in charge, and she refused to be rushed.
She ran her hands along his broad shoulders and down his arms before grasping his wrists. She pulled his hands from her waist and slid them up her body to her breasts. “Touch me,” she whispered as she rode him. “I want your hands on me.”
He shuddered. “I can deny you nothing,” he rasped.
Renee gloried in the moment. Every cell in her body was alive with feeling. Burning desire tempted her to move faster but she only bit her lip and kept the same slow, deep rhythm, determined to savor every inch of him, every second of their loving. He was fiery hot inside her, filling her so completely there was no room in her heart or mind for anything but Eli. His hands were magic as he caressed her. He let her set the pace even though she felt his tension as he fought the urge to take control. 
The knowledge enflamed her still further. She couldn’t imagine Eli ever willingly submitting to anyone, yet he gave her such intimate power over him. She tightened her inner muscles around him as she took him deep inside her again.
Eli gasped and thrust upward. “Sweet heaven, do that again,” he breathed, and his entire body shook when she complied. 
Triumph surged through her at his reaction. Tension curled deep inside her and she could no longer deny the urge to move faster. His muscles clenched and his jaw tightened, but still he didn’t try to take control from her. She couldn’t resist bending to run her lips along the taut muscles of his chest and she thrilled at his breathless groan. Watching his pleasure was a sensual delight she had never imagined and she felt her fangs press against her lips as her own passion rose to match it. 
His hands suddenly left her breasts to cup her throat. His thumbs caressed her pounding pulses and his breath quickened. Renee scraped her teeth over the heavy muscles of his chest. His hot, masculine scent filled all her senses. She nipped his skin, the urge to taste him again almost overwhelming.
But even as his muscles clenched and his heart pounded in her ears, Eli stopped her. His hands dove into her hair and pulled her mouth away from his skin before she had a chance to bite him. She opened her eyes to find him watching her with such intensity she felt it through her entire body, but his mind was closed to her. The sheer erotic inferno of his gaze sent her careening out of control toward the edge and she arched her back, riding him hard and fast as the fire claimed them both.
 
* * *
 
Eli caught her tightly against him when it was over, reeling with mingled relief and ecstasy. His heart pounded both from the incredible pleasure she gave him and the effort of resisting the instinct that had almost destroyed his honor and control. 
“Why do I let you make me forget myself like that?” he whispered into her hair, his voice husky and teasing. “I hadn’t intended to make love to you. I had very definitely decided not to. Now look at us, still in bed when we should be busy elsewhere.” 
She lifted her head and gave him a smile so sexy, it was all he could do not to roll her beneath him and take her again. His plans for the night seemed less important with each passing moment. 
“Oh, sorry,” she said, sounding anything but. “Was I supposed to be listening to you?”
He shook his head in mock-exasperation and she laughed again. Her joy seeped through him and settled like a warm breeze in his soul. Had anyone ever treated him this way, teasing him, disobeying him, handling him so lightly? He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, savoring every second of it. Had anyone told him a month ago that a woman’s affectionate disrespect would make his heart swell with happiness, he would have laughed and called them a liar.
How wrong he would have been.
But reality was intruding even in this perfect moment. Eli sighed and held her tight for one moment more before easing free of her sweet embrace and sitting up on the edge of the bed. He couldn’t keep the regret from his voice. “Unfortunately, we really do have much to do tonight.” 
Renee smiled and stretched blissfully. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from her lovely, lithe body, a beautiful offering on his bed. Hot blood rushed to his groin despite the shattering lovemaking they had just shared. It seemed the normal limitations of the male body did not apply when it came to this woman. 
Her gaze caressed him and she raised an eyebrow. “Not all of you wants to go,” she observed, her eyes twinkling.
He shook his head at her audacity. “The parts that are capable of coherent thought recognize the necessity of it.”
She sat up and leaned against him for a moment, pressing her breasts against his bare back and sending heat spiraling dangerously through him. “There are still some parts capable of coherent thought? Hmm, I’ll have to work on my technique. I must not have done something right.”
Eli laughed in spite of his desire as she rose and padded toward his bathroom. “Woman, you’re insatiable!”
She tossed a glance over her shoulder and caught him eyeing her bare backside with more than passing interest. “And you’re a paragon of restraint yourself,” she shot back, humor glittering in her tone and her eyes.
You have no idea, Eli thought ruefully. She didn’t know the vicious battle he’d fought as she’d ridden him to ecstasy. She hadn’t the faintest clue how close he’d come to doing the unforgivable. “You inspire me to excess,” he said instead, meaning every word.
Renee laughed. “Oh, how silly of me not to realize it’s all my fault.” 
He shook his head again and pointed imperiously to the bathroom. “To the shower with you, temptress,” he commanded. 
She laughed again at his bossy tone as she opened the door to the bathroom. She tried to draw him into the shower with her but he refused, though not without difficulty. He’d managed to resist the nearly overpowering desire to complete their bond once. He wasn’t certain he could do so again.
He dressed as she bathed, trying not to think of her naked in his shower. Trying not to imagine her gorgeous body sleek and wet. Trying not to picture his hands sliding over her, soaping every sweet inch of her skin. Trying to convince himself he was glad he wasn’t in there with her, that he hadn’t given in to the temptation.
He failed miserably.
It would have been far too dangerous. He turned and walked to her bedroom to find fresh clothes for her, needing to distance himself before he lost control completely. She would never know how close he’d come to bonding with her against her will just now. Her outraged reaction to the Outcast demanding first right to her as a mate echoed in his head, bringing with it a volatile mixture of rage and shame.
The thought of the Outcast attempting to force such a thing on Renee made his blood boil. Eli’s eyes narrowed. Kalen might not know it yet, but he was a dead man. 
Then he hung his head and sighed. He was well aware of his own hypocrisy. 
She still didn’t know. He’d intended to tell her tonight but for the first time in his long life, he’d given in to cowardice. He rubbed a hand over his face wearily. The thought of being claimed without her consent had horrified her, and he hadn’t been able to reassure her it wasn’t possible. It was, as he himself had well proved. When she’d turned to him with such passion and trust after he’d told her what Kalen had tried to do, he hadn’t been able to face her condemnation once she found out that he was no better. Would she still try to convince him he wasn’t an Outcast once she knew what he’d done to her?
No. Of course not. How could she? She would look at him in hatred and run as far from him as she could. He would never again taste her passion or feel her trust after she learned the truth, and in his heart, he couldn’t blame her. He’d be alone again and he wasn’t sure he could stand it. 
Tonight he’d been a coward, unwilling to let her go quite yet, compounding his sins until they threatened to bury him.
When Renee emerged with her long hair wrapped in a towel and her body enveloped in his enormous bathrobe, Eli thought he had never seen any woman look sexier. He ached for her. She smiled at him as she accepted the bundle of clothing he’d retrieved for her—the plainest cotton lingerie he’d been able to find, her loosest pair of jeans, and a sweatshirt big enough to fall halfway to her knees. “Are we trying to remove temptation?” she asked sweetly, humor dancing in her eyes.
He didn’t even bother trying to lie. “Desperately.”
Renee laughed and carried the clothing into the bathroom. When she emerged a few moments later, Eli knew he’d failed. Instead of hiding her body, the baggy clothes made her look like a pixie—an adorable, beautiful, and very desirable pixie. He let out his breath in a resigned sigh. 
“It’s no use. You’re still too damn sexy.”
She raised an eyebrow doubtfully and plucked at the baggy sweatshirt. “Do you have a history of insanity you forgot to mention to me?” 
He reached out and caught her hand. “Not a history,” he said, grinning wickedly, “but definitely a future of it if you stick around.” It was only the truth. She had no idea what she did to him. 
When she glanced back at the bed, he groaned and dragged her out of the bedroom. Maybe she had some idea. “No, no, no. You are absolutely not going to distract me again. This is important.”
Renee grinned at him. “You do realize you just challenged me, don’t you?”
He quickened his step as he pulled her down the hall after him. “I realize it’s not necessary to challenge you,” he retorted. “Have you always been this insatiable?”
She laughed as they stopped in the entryway. “Only with you,” she teased with an impish smile, and his heart leapt with pleasure. “You have no one to blame.” 
Her laughter filled his mind as he dissolved them into mist. Chicken.
I only fight battles I can win, he shot back as he guided them through the fissure.
Oh, good, that means you’ll never argue with me, she replied sweetly. He couldn’t help laughing. What’s so important? Renee asked as they burst through the crack and into the dark cemetery. 
Eli brought them back to human form and cupped her face in his hands. “I don’t want you to ever come to me again in desperation because you have nowhere else to go,” he said, his eyes and tone suddenly solemn. Renee forgot her sensual teasing entirely. “You are always welcome in my home, but it is time you had your own.”
Some of the wild joy that had filled her after his offhand comment about her staying with him ebbed away. “You mean you’re making sure I don’t have any excuse to turn to the Outcasts again.”
Eli shook his head, his eyes never leaving hers. “No. This has nothing to do with the Outcasts, Renee. It’s about what’s happening between us. If you come to me, I want you to come freely—not because I acted as your sire, not because you have no other resting place, not because you’re in danger.” His thumbs caressed her cheeks. “You should never come because you need something. Not my protection, not my home. You will always have those.” 
He was sending her away. He was truly kicking her out, and no matter what he said, she knew he was still thinking about his “curse”. 
“Eli, I won’t turn. I won’t. You don’t have to do this. I came to you freely last night, I swear it.”
He brushed her cheek with gentle fingers. “That’s exactly why I have to do this,” he corrected her softly. “I’ve been your entire world since the night you were Changed. It can’t continue, not like this. Now come. We have a full night’s work to accomplish and less than a full night left in which to do it.”
She tried to smile even though she felt like shaking him for his stubbornness. “And you’re complaining?”
Instead of answering, he pulled her fully into his arms and kissed her, and he let neither their unromantic surroundings nor the urgency of the night’s tasks keep him from doing a thorough job. Only when they were both breathless did he pull away. Without another word, he turned them to mist again and took her into the air.
More mixed signals. She was actually starting to feel nostalgic for the times when he wouldn’t answer her at all. 
Where are we going? Renee asked as they left the cemetery and Eli guided them west. The streets were unfamiliar to her. She hadn’t lived in the city long before she’d become a vampire and she’d never been in this area.
There is a home out here that you might like, he replied. If you do, I’ll help you secure it against the day and teach you to weave spells to make it impervious to attack. I’ll teach you an incantation which will make it impossible for any to approach you. He paused. Even me.
She caught her breath in surprise. He was giving her a home of her own, a real house? It was more than she’d ever had, and she didn’t want it. Not like this.
Don’t bother. I won’t use it.
I’m going to teach you anyway, he said stubbornly, clearly thinking she referred to the spell. You might need it someday. 
She couldn’t imagine why she would ever need such a thing. Eli, listen to me. You don’t have to teach me to lock you out. I don’t want to lock you out. I know you would respect my privacy if I wished it. You would never do anything to me I didn’t want you to do. I trust you.
He was silent for a long moment before answering. I would hate to shatter your faith in me more than anything in this world, little one.
And you’re still dead-set on teaching me this spell, she finished for him.
He circled down and brought them back to their natural forms on the little lawn of a two-story Victorian which was remarkably undamaged by the quake. “Now more than ever,” he said grimly. “You have to be safe, Renee.”
The way he said it completely disarmed her. Nothing would dissuade him, and despite her exasperation, his persistence touched her heart. He still believed Apollo’s curse would corrupt her as it had the others, but even though he was certain that she would eventually turn Outcast, he gave her the means to protect herself. “Eli—”
“Enough.” He didn’t look at her as he led her across the lawn. “Don’t argue with me on this.”
She finally turned to look at the house. Like most Victorian houses, this one was nearly identical to its neighbors in all but color. Only when she looked closer did she note the little details that hinted at a vampire’s hand in its design.
The roses around the little porch were night-blooming. Their scent, more complex than any flower Renee had ever encountered, seduced all her heightened senses. She frowned at tiny patterns painted over each window in a shade almost identical to that of the frame. She was certain no human eyes could tell the difference. “What are those symbols?” she asked Eli as they neared.
“Signs of warding,” he answered. Renee blinked blankly at him and he explained. “Magical protection. Only the owner of the dwelling can pass by them freely. They can be broken, but it’s very difficult. You’d know if anyone tried. You’ll find those painted over every entrance, windows and doors. Even the letter-slot.”
Renee nodded, impressed. “Big bad magic,” she said as they started up the stairs to the porch. 
He shook his head and smiled a little at her description, but his eyes were still solemn. “They wouldn’t keep me out for five seconds.” 
She sighed, knowing he was about to start in on the need for learning the spell again. 
He crossed his arms over his chest at the sound of her sigh. “And it probably wouldn’t completely stop Diego or Ronin, although it would take them longer to get through. You can’t depend on these alone to keep you safe.” 
Renee waved a hand, wishing she could dismiss his insistence as easily. Her gaze traveled over the front door, searching for the symbols he’d promised rather than dwelling on the implications of him teaching her the spell. She didn’t need to be told that no Outcast could ever be permitted to learn such a thing. “Ronin would probably burn the house down with me in it rather than mess with trying to break in,” she mumbled, but when Eli abruptly gripped her hand, she knew he’d heard her.
“Has he threatened you again?” 
Renee hesitated, remembering her surety that Ronin had been hunting her specifically last night. Eli’s posture was aggressively protective and he didn’t even try to hide his fury. His eyes burned with the promise of retribution. Even his fangs were out. If she told him the truth, he’d tear the other Slayer limb from limb.
She couldn’t allow that. Much as she disliked Ronin, he was in the League for a reason. He might hate her unjustly, but he was a guardian angel for the humans he protected. She didn’t want to be the cause of any trouble between him and Eli. 
“Not really,” she said, fudging the truth just a little. Eli’s eyes narrowed as if hearing her slight dishonesty and she sighed. “Don’t worry about it, Eli. It’s no big deal.” 
Besides, after seeing the Outcasts at work, she well understood Ronin’s suspicions. Kalen had certainly fooled her.
A low growl escaped his throat and his hand tightened around hers. To Eli it clearly was a big deal, but he didn’t say anything else about it. 
Renee started to open the door but paused at the sight of the runes. He’d said they could be broken, but she had no idea how to do such a thing. “How do I get in?” she asked, reaching out to touch the faint mark over the letter-slot. She thought better of it at the last instant and stopped short of actually touching it. She didn’t want to get zapped or something.
Eli reached past her and turned the doorknob. The door swung in easily. She shot him a look before stepping over the threshold, knowing he’d wound her up on purpose to defuse the tension between them. “Very funny.”
 The interior of the house was dark but for the faint light coming through the open door from the streetlamps outside. The living room was huge but unfurnished. An enormous marble fireplace took up one entire wall, and when she crossed the room to run her fingertips over the intricate designs engraved in the stone, she knew. 
“You create such beautiful things,” she said softly as she traced the designs, not turning to look at him to see if she was correct. She had no doubt it was his work even though it was completely different from anything in his home. No one else could create such detail. “Why didn’t you tell me this was your house?”
He brushed the hair away from the back of her neck and dropped a soft kiss on her nape. “It isn’t mine, remember? It’s yours.”
Renee leaned back against him and smiled when his arms slipped around her waist. “Would it do me any good to say this is too much and I can’t accept it?”
His mouth moved, working magic on the sensitive curve of her shoulder. She closed her eyes and gave herself up to the sensations his incredible lips invoked.
 “None at all,” he said, then hugged her tight and groaned. “By the stars, woman, how can I want you again?”
Her smile widened. “It’s mutual,” she assured him.
But to her intense disappointment, Eli released her and stepped away. “There’s not a bed here,” he said, and Renee thought he sounded relieved. 
She grinned at him. “Don’t tell anyone,” she teased, “but I’ve heard that a bed isn’t strictly necessary.”
Eli laughed. “Insatiable and shameless. You’d better go look around before that suggestion really sinks in.”
He was surprised when she actually complied. As soon as she disappeared up the stairs, Eli’s smile faded. He hated giving this place up. He’d bought this house in the nineteenth century when it was brand new, but despite the protections he’d added to the structure, he had never lived here. Like his other residences in the area, it was merely a smoke-screen to hide where he truly resided. He’d had no sentimental attachment to it before this moment. 
It was as if Renee’s mere presence within its walls had made it precious to him.
He crossed to the fireplace he hardly remembered carving and ran his fingers over the same curve she’d caressed. He sighed. He was no damn good at lying to himself.
It wasn’t the house he hated giving up.
Renee’s footsteps on the stairs jolted him from his melancholy thoughts. She crossed straight to his side and slid her arm around him. “It’s perfect, as I would expect anything you created to be. Now that I have a safe, Outcast-free place to go, do you feel better?”
No. He felt worse. But he found a smile for her and nodded. “We still have work to do here,” he said, unable to stop himself from draping an arm around her shoulders. “The spells protecting this place are mine. We have to replace them with yours. There’s also the bolt-hole downstairs. I need to teach you to open it. You need to learn how to lock everyone out in case you have to go there. If there’s an earthquake or you’re attacked—”
Renee placed her fingers over his lips. “Furniture,” she interrupted him softly. “There’s no furniture. Let’s start with that, okay?”
Eli kissed her fingertips because he couldn’t help it before catching her hand in his and pressing it against his chest. “The other things are far more important, little one,” he murmured.
Her eyes were luminous topaz in the dark. “I don’t want to learn to keep you away, Eli. If something happened—and I’m telling you again that I won’t turn—I wouldn’t want you to be unable to get to me. I meant it when I told you I would rather die than live as one of those monsters.”
He rested his forehead against hers. “Don’t even think of that.” He meant it to come out sternly, but instead his voice was hoarse with the pain of the thought. He knew then that he’d lied when he’d said he would slay her if she turned. He couldn’t do it now, couldn’t bear to harm her, no matter what she did. Not after what they’d shared. “There are other reasons to know this thing, Renee.”
She rested her head on his shoulder. “Why else would I possibly need to know it?”
Because if you don’t use it, I might force the third exchange on you. Because any mate you chose would be in mortal danger from me. Because there is no place on this Earth that I could not find you, and no other way you could keep me from your side. 
But the words caught in his throat and he couldn’t force them out. “There are times,” he murmured when he found his voice again, “when I don’t trust myself with you, little one.” It was as close as he could come to the truth.
She hugged him. “I trust you all the time,” she told him simply, and he thought he would shatter from the painful burden of her misplaced faith. “Teach me this if you feel you have to, but I want you to know that I won’t ever use it.”
He kissed her and prayed she was right.
Chapter Twelve
When the dawn came, they were both exhausted. Lifting wards that had been in place for almost one hundred and fifty years didn’t come easily, and though Renee was incredibly strong for a fledgling, Eli had to guide her extensively through the process of re-weaving them around the structure. By the time he was able to draw her down into the basement to teach her to open the hidden panic room he’d constructed there, she was so fatigued she barely managed to open it by herself. 
Renee sat down heavily inside the little earthen-walled room when she’d at last managed to move the heavy door with her mind. “I can’t do any more tonight, Eli,” she said wearily, raising tired eyes to his. “Can we rest now and finish later?”
He nodded, feeling guilty for pushing her. There was no way he could teach her in one night everything she would need to know to keep herself safe once he was gone. 
She’d need a Clan, and soon. He used his own powers to close the secret door as he considered which Clan Patriarch would be most likely to take her in. “We’ll stay here. It’s too close to dawn to return home.”
She snuggled against him as soon as he lowered himself to the ground beside her. He felt her lips curve into a smile against his as she kissed him. “Told you we should’ve done furniture first,” she whispered. “Or am I the only one wishing for a bed?”
He stroked her back and hair. “You can use me for your bed,” he offered, knowing that exposing himself to yet more temptation was an extremely bad idea and still unable to resist. “And I will use you for a blanket.”
She laughed softly as she shifted to stretch out on top of him with her head tucked beneath his chin. “You’re right. This is way better than any bed.” She leaned up and pressed another kiss to his jaw. “Warm enough?”
Eli barely bit back a groan. “Any warmer and I’d go up in flames. Now go to sleep.” And to his great relief she did.
But sleep refused to come for him. He sighed. It was time to do the right thing.
When Renee woke an hour after sunset, she was alone. She stretched and found herself wrapped in a thick quilt. It protected her from the cold floor, but even its warmth didn’t dispel the chill that enveloped her when she realized Eli was gone. 
When had he left her?
She sat up, clutching the quilt around her shoulders. He’d been acting strangely ever since he’d told her who he really was. Had she said something wrong, pushed too hard to stay with him? 
Her wanton behavior last night rose in her mind, reinforcing her doubts. He hadn’t wanted to make love but she’d ignored his attempts to stop her. He’d prevented her from taking his blood or touching his mind, withholding the intimacy she’d craved. She hadn’t thought anything of it last night—she’d been too caught up in the ecstasy of the moment and his teasing afterward. 
What if she’d misunderstood his intentions completely in giving her a place of her own? With all the mixed messages he’d been sending out, it wouldn’t be hard to do. He said he wanted her to come to him freely, and then ushered her out. He was as affected by their lovemaking as she, there was no doubt of that, but he’d refused to make love with her last night. And she couldn’t ignore his silence after she’d told him she loved him.
God or not, he wouldn’t be the first male to run for the hills at those words.
Renee sighed and got to her feet. She was surprised at how tired she still felt. Eli hadn’t given her any breaks last night when they’d worked to prepare this place and she knew she still wasn’t fully recovered from her ordeal with the Outcasts. She opened the door to the little panic room with more difficulty than she would have liked. Apart from what she’d taken from Eli when they’d made love, she hadn’t fed in two days. 
Hunting had to be her first consideration. She could be confused later.
She walked through the basement and left through the kitchen door, expending precious energy to renew the protective spells as she left. No matter what Eli had said, she still thought of this as his house, and she was determined to keep it safe for him.
Thinking Eli might try to find her—hoping, actually—Renee headed toward the familiar nightclub district. When she glanced at the dance club where he’d last taken her, Renee knew she couldn’t feed that way again. There was something too intimate about it. Just the thought of getting that close to any other man made her skin crawl.
It was back to the alleys or nothing, but Renee refused to use a vagrant again. She sent her senses winging over the crowded street, searching for a mind weak enough to bend to her will. She had no trouble finding what she needed and took extra care to keep the minds of the human couple calm and willing as she drew them one by one into a little alcove in the alley and drank from them. The remembered horror of the Outcasts’ frenzied feeding still lived in her memory. She would never feed like that. No matter how tired she was, she would always find the energy to do this for her prey.
Releasing their minds from her enchantment after planting the suggestion to go home early tonight, Renee watched the pair stumble from the alleyway and disappear into the crowd thronging the main thoroughfare. Now that she’d fed, she didn’t quite know what to do. With the vague notion of trying to find furnishings for the house, she stepped out of her little alcove and turned to leave the alley.
But as she neared the mouth of the alleyway, a pack of dogs melted from the shadows and blocked her path. Renee’s heart froze. 
She knew these dogs.
Niko materialized from his dog form and gave her a sarcastic little bow. The others followed suit, changing back into their human forms right there in the mouth of the alley without even trying to hide what they were doing from the mass of humanity only yards away. 
“Greetings, young one.” Niko’s smile did nothing to dispel the cruelty in his eyes. “I see you have already fed. That’s a shame—we hoped you would hunt with us again tonight.”
Renee stepped back instinctively, then cursed herself for showing fear to these beasts. “Not if I live to be a thousand and never feed again.”
The others closed in around her as if scenting her alarm in the air. Niko’s frigid smile widened. “I can guarantee you won’t live quite that long.” 
Renee reached for the mist, determined to make her escape, but nothing happened. Gathering all her strength, she concentrated harder on transforming her body into tiny molecules, lighter-than-air, free of gravity and able to fly away…and she remained frozen in her body.
Niko raised an eyebrow mockingly. “What’s the matter, Renee? Having a little problem vanishing?”
She didn’t give his taunt the dignity of a reply. Her nails sharpened into talons and her fangs lengthened in response to his threat, but she’d still rather flee than fight. The form of the greyhound wouldn’t come either. The strange words of the chant Eli had insisted on teaching her came to mind but she didn’t dare use them—Niko had already proven he could read her mind. She raised her psychic shields and locked the chant deep away. She would not teach such a powerful thing to Outcasts. 
Without a way to escape, she had no choice but to stand her ground. The Outcasts might have bound her powers and locked her in human form, but she could still fight. She shoved aside her fear and all the memories of being bested in her sparring matches with Eli. 
She would do better. She’d have to.
Niko laughed when she tried one last time to dissolve into mist. His faux-sympathetic expression grated on her nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard. “It was a shame to deny you such interesting tricks, but I must admit we ‘spiked your drink’ tonight, as humans would say. A little injection as they passed by us. It didn’t harm them.” His eyes sharpened as if sensing her uncertainty. “I’m afraid I can’t say the same for you.”
Kalen stepped forward and sniffed her. He grimaced and spat in disgust. “The Slayer’s scent is all over you, and yet here you stand, unprotected. What a fool he is to let you hunt alone. Does he truly think I cannot undo what he has begun?”
Renee had no idea what he was talking about. She didn’t dare try to figure it out now. She focused all her attention on Kalen as he took another menacing step toward her and held up his hand, all five fingers tipped with razor-sharp talons. 
“I think we should begin by draining his foul, self-righteous blood into the sewers where it belongs,” Kalen murmured, his hate-filled eyes belying his gentle tone. “Then you will accept what I offer you.” His gaze moved over her body without even trying to hide his lust. “You will be mine, Renee. Make no mistake there.”
“Come near me and I swear I’ll slit your throat,” Renee snarled, every muscle in her body tensed in preparation. She would rather die than let him touch her. The thought of bonding to this beast made her feel physically ill.
But when her stomach roiled again she wasn’t as sure of the cause. It felt almost like the terrible reaction she’d had to the bagged blood. What had they done to her? Her muscles started a slow burning, an ache which quickly built to pain.
Niko laughed at her threat. “There’s no need to fight us, young one. And please, scream all you like. It won’t help you.” 
She tried harder to shove him out of her mind without much hope of success. Her mental blocks were clearly suffering from whatever poison they’d given her. She hardly dared hope any of Eli’s Slayers were nearby. If they did respond to her scream, would they save her or slaughter her alongside her attackers?
Niko shook his head, his next words confirming that her mind was still open to him despite her efforts to lock him out. “There are none of your precious Slayers in the area, and even if there were, no one will come to the aid of an Outcast.” His lip curled as if the word tasted foul.
“I’m not a damned Outcast.” The denial was automatic.
Kalen smiled. “Perhaps not yet, but soon.” 
She tried not to panic. There was no hope of anyone coming to save her, and panic would only seal her doom. She tried to concentrate on everything she’d learned during her fighting lessons, every dirty trick, every pressure point. 
Eli’s words echoed in her mind. You are strong, little one…you no longer need my protection. How she wished that were really true. All the same, the memory of his faith in her gave her the strength to hold her head high and the courage to die fighting if she had to. “I won’t go quietly,” she promised, dropping into a fighting stance.
Kalen smiled. “Oh, I think you’ll come quietly enough.” 
There was no warning. A searing flash of pain sliced across both her wrists as Myra and Lisette darted in from the shadows, each flicking out a talon and cutting deeply. They were gone so quickly, Renee never had a chance to dodge or retaliate. Blood poured to the filthy pavement from her torn flesh. 
Renee tried desperately to seal the gaping wounds, but her healing magic was frozen, too. Horace and Dabir took advantage of her momentary distraction to leap forward and slash long gashes down her back. The women circled and stabbed again. 
There was no escape from the attacks. No matter which way Renee turned, a vampire was behind her. She couldn’t guard against all four at once, and none of her kicks or punches dissuaded them. Any wounds she inflicted were quickly healed. She couldn’t block them, couldn’t escape, and she refused to scream for help and perhaps draw mortals into this. 
Niko and Kalen watched dispassionately as the others cut her again and again. Renee felt her strength rapidly ebbing with blood loss. When she stumbled, fighting with every bit of strength to keep from losing consciousness, Kalen moved at last. He grabbed her and hauled her against his chest before sinking his fangs into her throat, drinking deeply of what little remained in her veins and ignoring the weak gouges she left in his cheeks as she tried to force his head away from her.
Niko’s voice reached her from what seemed like a great distance. “If you want to live, you will take what Kalen offers. The antidote is in his blood, just as the poison was in the humans’.” 
She tried to shout a denial, to scream that she would rather die, but she couldn’t. It felt like Kalen was draining her very life away.
When dark spots danced before her eyes, Kalen finally pulled away and cut a shallow gash in his wrist with one long nail. The scent of the blood dripping from the wound was almost overpowering. Every cell in her body cried for nourishment, but she knew that to taste his blood was to be damned. 
“Drink,” he commanded, and she recognized the compulsion in his voice.
She didn’t even have the strength to snap defiantly back at him. Despair choked her. She couldn’t fight such a strong compulsion in this condition and they all knew it, but she would rather die than take his blood and be bound to this beast. 
There was only one way to escape. Closing her eyes, she gave up the struggle and let the darkness take her, leaving herself helpless but avoiding this most deadly peril. The last thing she heard as she passed out was Kalen’s outraged cry of fury.
Renee woke to a symphony of pain screaming from every part of her body. Her veins were on fire, her clothing unbearable against her aching skin. Weakness threatened to overwhelm her again and her knees buckled. 
Somehow she didn’t fall. She forced her streaming eyes open and looked down at her body. Fine golden chains crisscrossed over her, binding her hands to her chest and her legs together. She couldn’t see what she was tied to but the chill hardness at her back felt like stone. 
Looking around provided her with no clues to where she was. It looked like she’d been chained up in a war zone. Broken walls and shards of glass lay crumpled in piles all around her. At the edge of her vision she saw a high fence and part of a sign. CONDE—NO TRE was all she could read, but given the condition of the ruins around her, she was certain it said, Condemned, No Trespassing. Either the earthquake or a demolition crew had almost completely destroyed this building.
Niko glanced up as soon as she regained consciousness. “Have a nice rest, young one?” he asked cheerfully.
“Go to hell,” Renee whispered, her neck trembling with the effort of holding her head up.
“Such spirit! But come, you must be hungry. Would you like a little appetizer before tonight’s main course?” 
Renee clenched her jaw, nauseated by the false concern in his voice, and didn’t answer.
As though Niko’s words were a cue, Horace stepped into her limited range of vision and led a terrified human toward her. His eyes rolled wildly in their sockets. The scent of terror and adrenaline bled from his pores. Her stomach churned with foreboding. “Dinner is served, princess,” Horace said, shoving the human at her.
Renee turned her face away, trying to deny her vicious hunger. Horace grabbed the man by the back of the neck and pushed him back at her, his long nails piercing the skin, forcing the scent of blood and fear on her as he pressed the man’s throat to her face. The man moaned in terror when her fangs lengthened despite her best efforts. 
She clenched her jaw, trembling from the effort. “No, damn you. I’m not hungry. Let him go.”
The Outcasts laughed, and she knew she was fooling no one. They’d bled her almost dry and she needed to feed. She had no hope of fighting back when she was this weak, and she’d already been poisoned. If they’d tainted this mortal too, it made no difference. With a murmured word of apology, she summoned her frail powers and slipped into his mind, stealing his fear and replacing it with tranquility before biting him.
His blood hit her like a blast of lightning, flowing down dry and aching veins to cells starved for the life-giving substance. She drank deeply, unable to help herself. Instinct drove her on as the Outcasts goaded her to gorge herself, and it was too hard to resist. I’m sorry, Eli, she thought in despair.
His face filled her mind. What would he think of her if he saw her like this?
Some semblance of sanity returned to her with the thought. Her eyes snapped open. What was she doing?
There was a roar of laughter when she wrenched herself away, still achingly hungry but stopping short of killing the man. “Go on, finish it!” Horace commanded, shoving him back at her.
“No,” Renee gritted through clenched teeth. “I am not a killer.”
Horace simply dragged the man to him and sank his fangs deep, not bothering to hide his disgust at her restraint. Renee watched helplessly, tears standing in her eyes, but she was helpless to save him. All she could do was to remain in the man’s mind and make sure he didn’t feel the terror of his last moments. Only when she felt his life force depart did she release the mental compulsion.
Horace dropped the body to the ground at her feet and walked off. Niko stepped forward, idly picking at his fingernails with the point of a wicked-looking dagger. “You know,” Niko said conversationally, as though what had just happened was the most normal thing in the world, “if you would have taken what Kalen offered, this man would have lived. You are a killer, Renee.” He smiled, his eyes glittering with triumph. 
She shook her head, sickened by his words. “Horace killed him, not me. I am not a killer!”
Niko smiled at her denial. “Have it your way. We’re not interested in having you join us now, anyway. You hurt Kalen’s feelings, rejecting what he tried to give you. I don’t think he wants you anymore.”
“Good for him,” she replied hoarsely. She lost the battle to keep her head up and it fell limply to her shoulder. “He can see reason.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t hold out too much hope of that,” Niko told her, still smiling. “He still wants your heart. He just prefers it on a platter now.” The others laughed at his joke but Renee was too exhausted from fighting back the bloodlust and quieting the mortal’s mind to feel any emotion at his taunts.
Her chin was suddenly grasped with bruising force. Renee opened her eyes to see Kalen glaring down at her. “What do you think will happen to your precious Slayer when he comes looking for you?” he asked coldly.
His question sent the first shiver of true fear down her spine. She no longer cared what happened to her, but she couldn’t stand the thought of something happening to Eli. “He won’t come,” she said, praying it was the truth. “He’s done with me. He kicked me out.”
Another burst of laughter filled the shattered landscape. Kalen’s eyes glowed with intense evil. She shuddered at the sight. “You must think we’re very stupid if you expect us to believe that,” he hissed. “He will come for you and well you know it. Do you think we can’t smell him on your skin? His claim in your blood?”
Renee tried to jerk her chin from his hand but she was too weak and his grip was too strong. “Let me go,” she demanded, trying to infuse her faint voice with the compulsion to obey her.
Kalen smiled. It sent ice down her spine. “Do you have any idea how much it will please me to cut out your lover’s heart before your eyes? To watch you burn in the dawn?” Her horror seemed to thrill him. “You have no idea how dearly you will pay for rejecting me, but you will. Oh yes, Renee, you will.”
She closed her eyes, horrified. She was bait in a trap, nothing more. Eli, she thought despairingly, praying he wouldn’t look for her tonight. Don’t come. Please, if you love me at all, don’t come.
Niko’s voice floated tauntingly to her. “He will come, child. And when he does, we will be ready.”
 
* * *
 
Eli felt Renee awaken, lonely and confused. 
He cut off contact at once. He didn’t want to know what she thought of him for leaving her alone. It had been too difficult to force himself to do it at all. He couldn’t even hope she’d understand why it had been necessary.
After all, it wasn’t like he’d explained anything to her.
He wandered aimlessly through his underground lair, too restless to be still. Knowing she was out there alone was torture, pure and simple. 
This unfinished bond was driving him crazy. The bonding ritual set a male on edge, heightened his natural possessiveness to a terrifying degree and exposed every primitive, raw instinct to protect and defend his mate. He’d seen others go through this a thousand times and had watched their angst with amusement, but he was far from amused now. He hadn’t understood the agony of it and had certainly never expected to experience it himself. 
Never would he have believed that he would turn his Chosen out of his home, either. It felt empty without her here, and yet every room held the ghost of her presence. He paused beside his fireplace, seeking comfort from staring into the flames until he remembered their long talk here. He couldn’t bear to look at the couch, knowing he would be swamped with memories of her acceptance of him and the earth-shattering lovemaking which followed. He couldn’t try to lose himself in a hard work-out because her essence lingered there, every mock-battle they’d fought taunting him. The memory of the first time he’d surrendered to weakness and tasted her sweet lips waited to ambush him in that room. No, he couldn’t go there.
The guilt he felt at tying her to him without her consent threatened to crush him. He had no right! she’d cried, and though Eli knew she hadn’t been speaking of him, she might as well have been. He had no right to do this to her.
But sending her out on her own, unprotected, was just as worthy of contempt.
Still, he had no choice. He couldn’t trust himself around her. If they made love again—and there was no way they wouldn’t—Eli would bind her with the third exchange. His heart wanted it and instinct demanded it. Renee would never have a chance to live her own life and make her own mistakes, to fall in love with someone who deserved her and choose her own mate. He’d take the choice from her, his noble vow be damned.
No. He had broken too many promises trying to protect her. This one he must keep.
He slammed his fist into the wall, wishing he could smash the ache in his chest. Renee said she loved him, and though a part of him thrilled to her words, it was too fantastic to be believed. The only male vampires she had ever met besides him were Diego and Ronin—one already bonded, the other filled with poisonous hatred—and a pack of Outcasts. Given those choices, of course she thought she loved him. He was all she knew. He had to give her the freedom to find a man worthy of her.
And only then would his real test begin, Eli knew he would have to fight the urge to slay her man every day for the rest of his eternal life.
Time crawled by until Eli thought he would go mad. The night seemed endless. Abruptly he spun on his heel and launched himself through the fissure and out into the darkness. 
Eli glided over the city, his senses open to the night. He had no desire to feed, but he found himself gravitating downtown to the area where they’d always hunted anyway. He didn’t let himself scan for her—she would be all right. He had to have faith. She was strong and he had taught her well. Gareth, Patriarch of the Arachnid Clan, would be coming soon to discuss accepting her into his Clan, which was more than he’d hoped for. Now the best thing Eli could do for her was to leave her alone.
Repeating the mantra did little to alleviate the tight knot of worry in his chest.
The nightclub district still thrummed with life despite the late hour. Eli materialized there, entertaining some notion of losing himself in the revelers, but every sense suddenly went on full alert when the heavy scent of blood and fear abruptly assaulted him. His nostrils flared as he drank in the night for information. In an instant, the beast inside him roared to the surface, fangs bursting into his mouth as every muscle tensed with a raging desire for revenge. 
Renee’s blood. Renee’s fear. 
Shoving humans aside without noticing them, Eli sprinted down the street, following the terrible trail. When he found the alley, he froze, his heart pounding, almost afraid to look inside, afraid he would see her broken body lying discarded there. The scent of her blood was overpowering in the night air. 
Pushing his fear down, Eli strode into the alley, scanning every hidden nook and shadow for any sign of Renee. His nostrils flared, leading him unerringly to the pool of blood.
There was no body, only far too much blood spilled on the cracked pavement. Rage took the place of any other emotion. His mind filled with the horrible vision of Renee fighting for her life in this filthy place as faceless attackers bled her almost dry. Fighting alone when he’d promised she would always have his protection.
What had he done?
A new scent, much fainter than Renee’s, caught his attention. Eli concentrated on it, drawing the foul air deeply into his lungs. His fists clenched. Another’s blood had been spilled here. A male’s.
An Outcast’s. 
He would know the foul taint anywhere, would have noticed it at once had he not been preoccupied with his fear for Renee’s safety. A red haze of fury momentarily obscured his vision. How had he been foolish enough to discount this danger? She had told him one of the Outcasts had claimed first right to her. Why had he thought they would leave her alone after she’d defied them and escaped?
Ruby drops of her blood led in a taunting trail down the alley. Eli’s eyes narrowed as wrath burned through him. Blood paid with blood and Renee’s was sacred. He had no doubt the Outcasts had sensed his mark on her, their nearly-completed bond. They had issued their invitation to battle in the most unmistakable terms—they had his Chosen, and they were hurting her. It was a challenge no vampire could misread and one no bonding male would possibly ignore. 
Eli turned and followed the trail just as they had meant him to, his lips pulled back in a predatory snarl. They had gone to such trouble to request his presence and he had no intention of disappointing them.
They had no idea what they were playing with.
Chapter Thirteen
The trail had led him in a labyrinthine path through the city and his rage grew with each passing minute. The fools were taunting him even as they drained Renee’s strength further. Dawn was nearing but Eli had no doubt he would find them before it came. They had gone to such trouble to ensure he’d come. They wouldn’t risk the chance that he might go to ground with the morning light and deprive them of their game.
At last he sensed the ambush. He had been led into the most heavily damaged section of the city after the earthquake. Broken buildings surrounded him. One, almost totally demolished, was encircled by a high chain-link fence. It was nearly impossible to see through it due to all the warning signs hanging on it.
He knew he’d found their lair even before he saw the heavy smear of Renee’s blood across one of the signs on the gate. Enraged, he tore the gate completely off its hinges, easily snapping the thick chains which bound it in place and tossing it furiously aside. He sprinted through the opening without a thought of the Outcasts who had to be lying in wait. All that mattered was finding Renee and getting her out of here.
Only when she was safe would he make her attackers beg for death.
He saw her at once, her slender form surrounded by six Outcasts, her back to a half-crumbled concrete wall. He smelled blood on the air, hers and a human’s, as the Outcasts stood together and taunted her. A man’s body lay drained of blood at her feet. She stood there with her head down and her dark hair spilling limply down her body, the clothing he had chosen for her an eternal time ago ripped and stained crimson. She wasn’t even trying to escape despite the steadily lightening skies. It was only as Eli charged toward her that he saw the fine chains binding her to the wall.
The Outcasts turned at the sound of his enraged shout, their weapons already drawn. “So he did decide to come for you,” one said tauntingly to Renee, baring his fangs. “We were worried he’d miss the fireworks come sunrise.”
Renee raised her head at last and met Eli’s gaze. Her dismayed cry tore through him. “No! It’s a trap. Go, Eli, get out of here!”
His blood boiled. Of course it is, little one, he murmured in her mind, careful to keep from sharing his rage with her, sending her only confidence and reassurance. They wish to test their strength against me. I wouldn’t dream of denying them the battle they desire. 
Even though his tone in her mind was soothing, the need for vengeance burned him. He’d never known anyone braver or more selfless. Even knowing the Outcasts planned to kill her, she thought of his safety instead of her own. 
It enraged him. How could she think, even for the smallest instant, that he would leave her here to burn? 
Eli whipped his swords out and plunged into the midst of the group of Outcasts, his only thought to kill, to punish these beasts who had tortured and bled his woman.
They fought with more skill than any adversaries he’d battled in centuries, but it wasn’t enough to save them. Nothing on Earth could save them now. Eli cut them down ruthlessly, the first one falling almost before he knew what had hit him, and with each plunge of his swords into flesh, the wild wrath in his heart grew and snarled for more.
But the sun was coming. He felt it nearing the horizon, closer with each passing second. His skin tingled with its approach and the new nightmare it promised. 
The Outcasts had recognized Eli’s mark on her. Apollo, so much more powerful than they, would surely do the same, and her death at his hands would be horrendous. The sun god would delight in making Eli’s Chosen suffer the torments of hell. 
Eli attacked faster, a whirlwind of blades. Desperation threatened to choke him. There was no way even he could defeat the rest of the Outcast band in time to get her to shelter before the dawn came and brought Apollo’s wrath down on them all.
One of the Outcasts spat at him. “I’m going to love watching you burn, Slayer,” he growled, his tone poisonous. “By the gods, we’re all going to cheer when you catch fire. How many of our brothers and sisters have you left for the day?”
Eli turned murderous black eyes on him. “Clearly one too few.” 
He whirled, simultaneously plunging one of his swords through another man’s chest and hurling the other, javelin-like, at the one who had spoken. It speared him cleanly through the heart and quivered there for a moment before the Outcast fell dead to the ground. The rich reek of his blood filled the air and Eli felt a savage triumph. This was the one whose blood had mingled with Renee’s in the alley. 
This must be the bastard who had presumed to claim her.
He grabbed the largest Outcast by the throat and lifted him with one-armed ease from his feet, crushing his windpipe. Still a shadow in Renee’s mind, he knew this must be Niko, the one who had filled her head with the foolish tale of the Outcasts’ superiority. “You presume to know much about the god who created you,” he snarled, his voice low so only Niko heard him. 
“He would—despise you,” Niko managed to gasp despite the terrible grip on his throat.
Eli’s smile was deadly. He summoned powers he had not used in a millennium, letting them surround him and making sure Niko felt the truth of what he was. 
“You know nothing of Me,” Eli whispered deliberately, every word sending a shaft of pain through the Outcast’s head. Niko’s eyes widened in realization and terror in the instant before Eli’s sword pierced his heart. 
But as he turned to the two females, he knew his time was up. Eli felt a burst of searing pain at the same moment as he heard Renee’s scream of agony. He dropped his sword and sprinted to her, ignoring the torment screaming from his own skin, his only thought to reach her before it was too late. He focused his powers and tried to dissolve them into mist, but something stopped the transformation from changing Renee, some power holding her in human form. He tried again and again but it was impossible. He could save himself, but she was bound here by more than chains.
Frantic to do something, anything to help her, he whipped off his duster and threw it over her, thankful she was small enough for it to cover her from head to toe. Still curls of smoke rose from beneath the leather. 
The coat wasn’t enough. Eli shielded her from the sunlight with his own body, bending his head over hers, closing his arms around her, enveloping her completely between himself and the wall. Her screams stopped as the burning finally ceased, but he didn’t dare relax yet.
Only a miracle would get her out of this alive, and he no longer believed in them.
Myra and Lisette laughed at his predicament. They’d obviously killed last night and stood unfazed by the morning light, relishing the trap they’d set. Eli wished them dead a thousand times as Renee pressed her head against his chest, shuddering with terror. “Easy, baby. You’ll be all right,” he murmured, hoping he wasn’t lying to her.
The reek of his charring skin filled the air. “Oh, God, you’re burning,” Renee gasped, horrified. “Go, Eli. Don’t do this. I don’t want you to die for me.”
Even if death was a possibility for him, Eli wouldn’t have left her. Every inch of his skin a burning agony, he pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head through the leather. “It won’t kill me, little one, only hurt a little,” he murmured gently, carefully keeping the pain from his voice. “Didn’t I tell you nothing in this world can kill me?”
 Something slashed across his back and he felt the warm trickle of blood down his skin as the Outcasts took their revenge on him while he didn’t dare to fight back. He didn’t give them the satisfaction of any kind of response as more blades pierced his flesh. If this was what he had to endure to save her, it was a small price to pay.
Suddenly the air filled with an anger so oppressive, it made it difficult to breathe. Even the two Outcasts clearly felt it. Their laughter at their cruel game faltered, then became forced. 
He braced himself for anything. The Outcasts could only torment him. Apollo would almost certainly do much, much worse.
“How dare you presume stand in my sight, Lycidas!” 
Renee gasped at the terrible, echoing voice as Eli went still as stone against her. It seemed to come from everywhere at once and nowhere at all. The laughter of the Outcasts stopped this time as though cut off by a switch. 
“Eli?”
“Shh,” he breathed, hoping against hope that she would escape the god’s notice. 
“You dare to bring your cursed child into my realm?” the voice demanded, rage vibrating in every word. 
Eli closed his eyes and took the ultimate chance. “I am surrounded by my children, Father.”
There was a moment of silence before screams shattered the stillness. The stench of burning filled the air as Apollo saw through the cloaking human souls to the Outcast vampires beneath, and set Myra and Lisette aflame. Renee pressed her face against Eli’s chest and he wished he could shield her from the sound of their horrible deaths. 
Eli’s anxiety eased a fraction at the cessation of the stabbing. He hadn’t been sure Apollo would do anything to the women while they were tormenting him. He knew all too well that the anger of the gods did not wane with the passing of years—his certainly had not—and he hadn’t been certain Apollo wouldn’t simply sit back and enjoy his torture. He smiled tightly as the screams died away, thankful that Apollo’s disgust at the unnatural creatures had at least momentarily outweighed his anger at Eli. 
His relief was short-lived. 
Apollo’s voice echoed through the sudden silence that fell over the wrecked concrete landscape. “You give me these, yet shield another. Do you think I could not also have this one if I chose?”
Anger sparked in his veins. “You won’t have her,” Eli growled, enraged, as his flesh burned and blistered. He didn’t care if his words amounted to a blatant challenge. The threat to Renee was enough to bring every territorial bonding instinct screaming to life. He ignored the pain and summoned every ounce of power he possessed to wrap a shield around her and lock the other god out. 
No one could touch her now unless they killed Eli first. Not even Apollo.
Another long silence fell. When Apollo spoke again, his voice was different—not gentle, never that, but quieter. Closer. Eli shuddered as he heard a footstep behind him, felt the heat increase beyond bearing. 
But he bore it. There was no other choice unless he exposed Renee to the light, and he would rather roast alive.
“You would fight me for her?” Apollo challenged softly.
Eli felt his fangs lengthening, his nails turning into claws. “I would kill you.” Only a god could kill another god, and he’d ached for this showdown for centuries. “Or die trying.”
Apollo laughed softly. “The latter is more likely.” 
“I wouldn’t be so confident if I were you.” Every muscle vibrated with the urge to attack, but he couldn’t. Renee needed his protection now, and her need was the only thing keeping him from giving in to his desire for blood and vengeance.
Apollo changed tactics, dropping the taunting tone. “True. You are not to be underestimated. You have become a powerful warrior in your time here.” 
“Let this one go free and we’ll find out just how powerful,” Eli offered, knowing his father wouldn’t accept the challenge.
“An interesting offer.” Apollo’s voice became sympathetic, almost remorseful. Eli distrusted it immediately. “You know, it has been many years since you last walked our halls. There are those who miss you.” 
Eli closed his eyes tightly and wished he could close his ears as well against this new torment. “And what of them? I didn’t notice any of them coming to my aid when you conspired against me to have me banished. I no longer care about any of the gods.”
“That was a long time ago, even by our standards,” Apollo replied quietly. “Can you forgive them?”
“Does it matter? They would never know if I did. You made damn certain I couldn’t come back. Don’t tell me you’ve had a change of heart.”
Apollo took another footstep, and the burning of Eli’s back intensified to a point far past pain. He locked his jaw, determined not to give voice to his torment. He would not give his father the satisfaction of making him beg. 
“And if I did tell you that?” Apollo spoke softly, as if he wasn’t tormenting his son without mercy. “What then?”
“I would call you a liar,” he replied, sensing Renee’s sudden surge of hope at the prospect. Don’t believe anything he says, little one, he thought to her, carefully stripping his thoughts of pain before touching her mind. He would not share this agony with her. This is merely a game to him. Believe me in this. The gods do not change their minds when it comes to revenge.
He felt a brief, light touch on his shoulder and the burning abruptly ceased. It was all Eli could do not to fall to his knees in sudden relief, but he still refused to expose Renee. It would be just like Apollo to use an act of kindness to clear the way for more cruelty. 
“There, now. Is that better, my son?”
“You never do anything for free, Father. You came down here for a reason. What do you want?”
The god sighed as though Eli’s words had hurt him. “Fairness. Resolution. Don’t you agree we should have justice at last and put this behind us?” When Eli didn’t answer, Apollo went on in the same quiet, reasonable tone. “I never meant your exile to go on this long. Your pride created this situation. Can’t you admit that?”
Eli laughed bitterly. “You go to outrageous lengths to banish me, to eliminate your competition for a woman who didn’t even want you, and now you speak to me of pride?” He shook his head, still careful not to expose any part of Renee. “Get to the point. What do you want from me?”
“I know you must want to return home to Olympus. We can end this now. You took my woman from me. Wouldn’t it be fair to give me something of equal worth?”
Eli stiffened as the implication ripped through him. Apollo wanted Renee, the only one who had ever loved him, the only one he had ever allowed into his heart, the woman who was one step away from becoming his bondmate for eternity. He had indeed felt Eli’s claim on her and now struck the cruelest blow he could devise. 
His Chosen, or an end to his suffering. 
“You bastard,” Eli whispered. Rage burned bright in his heart and he bent protectively over Renee even though he ached to rip out Apollo’s black heart. 
Renee twisted her wrists in her bonds and managed to press her hands against his chest. He heard Apollo draw a breath to speak but Renee beat him to it, and Eli knew what she would say before the words even passed her lips. She was too generous for her own good. 
“Eli—” she began hesitantly.
“No,” he cut her off. What had he ever done to deserve the love of such a woman? Don’t listen to him. Don’t speak to him. It’s a trick. Don’t believe a word he says!
“Eli, you could go home,” she murmured, pressing on despite his silent warning.
“No!” 
“Your Chosen agrees,” Apollo said, his voice triumphant. “Stand aside, my son. It will be over in a moment. It will be quick, and I won’t even hurt her—much.”
“No!”
Renee pushed against him, but he refused to be moved. “Eli—”
He stole her voice and her words stopped instantly. He couldn’t stand to hear her beg him to let her go. But she was just as stubborn as he and it was only a moment before she reached for him with her mind, her touch as soft as the sweetest caress. I know you suffer here. I want to do this. Don’t you want to go home?
He replied without hesitation. Not at this price. 
Renee bit her lip and thought desperately. She was certain this chance would never be offered again. If Eli was ever to return to Olympus, she had to make him stand aside. She tried not to contemplate the death awaiting her, tried not to think of the Outcasts’ terrible screams as they’d burned. According to them, her life was over anyway—the poison burning in her veins would see to that. At least this way her death wouldn’t be in vain. 
Giving up this argument was not an option. It’s my life. Who are you to tell me what to do with it?
The man who loves you, he murmured back, and her heart turned over. You don’t know what he’s like, little one. I won’t give you to him!
She latched on to the only thing that might make him stand aside. You promised to destroy me if I turned, she told him, trying to imbue her thoughts with feelings of shame. The man at my feet—I killed him. It wasn’t the Outcasts, it was me. You won’t be giving him an innocent, Eli, you’ll be giving him a killer! 
Eli stood there, not moving, not reacting to her words even though she knew he must have felt the man’s blood in her body. She pushed at Eli again, frustrated tears filling her eyes at his complete lack of response. Damn it, you promised! I don’t want to live as an Outcast—
She felt him press another kiss to the top of her head. “That’s enough, little one. I know what you’re trying to do, but you could not hide such a thing from me. The sun still burns you. You haven’t killed.”
She rested her forehead against his chest as the tears slipped down her cheeks. I want to do this for you, she whispered in his mind, refusing to give up. I want to, Eli. Please let me. Don’t you understand he’ll never offer you a chance like this again?
It doesn’t matter if he offers it a million times, he thought back just as stubbornly. He will hear the same answer every time. You will not die for me!
“What is your choice, Lycidas?” Apollo asked. 
Eli didn’t even hesitate. “There is nothing on Earth or Olympus that could convince me to give her to you. Lycidas died a long time ago. There is only Eli now, and this is the only home I need.”
Apollo hissed in rage. “So be it,” he snarled as he vanished.
Eli sucked in a sharp breath as the burning returned, a thousand times worse than before, so terrible he momentarily doubted his own certainty that he could not die. Death would be a welcome relief from this torment. He tried again to transform himself and Renee into mist, but as before, it was impossible. There was nothing to do, nowhere to go, no way to escape Apollo’s wrath.
The day crawled by as the sun beat down on him. No one came to the demolition site, no one to aid or save them. The torment was indescribable and Eli cut himself off from Renee completely. He stood still as a statue, moving only to shift in miniscule increments as the sun traveled across the sky. He was only vaguely aware of Renee trying to give him strength as he had done for her and of her screaming at the sky, begging Apollo to have mercy on him. He wanted to tell her not to waste her words but the act of speaking was too difficult. He needed all his concentration to fight the instincts urging him to escape the agony and save himself. 
During the height of the day, Renee hung limp in her bonds, leaning against him, unable to fight the lethargy the day forced on her. He envied her that unconsciousness as his skin cracked and scorched, healing almost as fast as the damage was done, only to burn again and again.
And each time the pain was greater and the healing slower. He retreated into a far corner of his mind. It was the only way to survive such torture. He didn’t even hear Renee when she managed to rouse herself in the afternoon and called to him again and again.
By sunset, Renee was desperate. Eli’s utter stillness, his complete withdrawal from her, terrified her more than the prospect of burning alive. “Eli?” she whispered for the hundredth time in a cracked and hoarse voice. “Eli, I think the sun is almost down. Eli? Please, answer me.”
He didn’t respond to her at all. Renee shivered. If he hadn’t been holding her tight, she would have thought he truly had died. “Eli?” she whispered again.
The sudden cooling of her skin told her the horrible day was finally over. Renee tried to shake him but the chains did not give her enough range of movement. She called his name over and over, shaking her head free of the enveloping coat and trying to see his face in the shadows. He didn’t respond to her pleading in his mind either, but he’d blocked her out so completely that she wasn’t sure he even heard her. Finally, in utter desperation, she drew on every ounce of power she had left and sent a call for help over the city, not even knowing if such a thing was possible but willing to try anything.
Diego! Sian! Ronin! she screamed, putting everything she had behind the mental call. Someone, anyone! Answer me!
Several voices echoed in her mind simultaneously, responding to her without hesitation, and relief swamped her as she sorted them out.
One voice, disgusted, full of rage. Why the hell are you talking to me, Outcast? 
That had to be Ronin. The man would never accept her—he despised her for her tainted heritage and always would—but no matter how much he hated her, he had answered. Even knowing he only did it from respect for Eli, she still could have kissed him.
And two other voices, completely in tune even though they sent different messages. What is your need, Renee? Diego asked, and his calm voice was so reassuring tears filled her eyes.
Dang, girl, you don’t have to shatter my head! Sian’s thought was laced with both the traces of a pounding headache and a wonderful willingness to help.
Renee was about to reply when she felt the touch she’d been praying for. Eli’s consciousness brushed her mind, still distant, but with that feather-light contact, the brief headache sent with Sian’s thought disappeared. There were no words in it, just the touch of his mind, and as it started to slip away she latched onto him. “No, you don’t—I won’t let you go. Do you hear me, Eli? Come back!”
Renee. Diego’s voice was urgent now. I can feel your fear. Are you in danger? Where’s Eli?
He’s here, she said, trying to keep her alarm from coloring the message and knowing she was failing. Eli was slipping away again. He’s with me but he’s hurt, Diego. He’s hurt badly. I can barely reach him at all. Tears were rolling freely down her cheeks now as she held on to Eli and tried to lock him to her with her mind, but she was weak and couldn’t draw him back. The poison’s hold on her was stronger than ever. 
Where are you? What happened to him? All three voices, all asking the same questions, but with vastly different overtones. Sian was alarmed. Diego’s thoughts carried an instant readiness for battle. But Ronin…
Suspicion. He broadcast his utter disbelief without hesitation. 
He wasn’t even trying to hide his thoughts from her. Eli had been invincible for so long, it was impossible to conceive of anything harming him this badly. If she was with him and he was this severely injured, she must be responsible. Renee could hardly blame him even though she cursed him for his doubt. If she had been Ronin, she might well have thought the same thing. After all, none of the others knew who Eli truly was, what he was. She was the only one who knew Eli couldn’t die, and even she had doubted before today.
But he could suffer. She had to convince the others to come help him. He’s been in the sun all day, she told Ronin fiercely. And before you ask, I did not do this to him! I begged him to leave!
She felt rather than heard Ronin’s snarl. Impossible. If what you say is true, he’d be fried. What have you really done to him?
Renee, where are you? Diego demanded, cutting across her furious reply to Ronin. This time there was a compulsion buried within Diego’s request but it wasn’t necessary. She responded at once, sending the image of everything she’d seen of the place the Outcasts had taken her. After a moment, Diego cut her off. I know this place. I’m coming, Renee. Hold on. 
Ronin’s disgust was palpable. I’m coming too, he said, but it was more warning than reassurance. And you’d better pray he’s alive when I get there, Outcast, or I’ll make you wish for death long before I’m finished with you.
Renee felt a sudden surge of fury from Eli at the threat. It sizzled along the mental connection she held with Ronin, inarticulate and vicious. Ronin cut off contact with her at once, but not before she felt his shock. 
She didn’t care about Ronin. At last Eli had responded to something. Renee grabbed him with her hands and her mind and called to him. 
“Eli!” She wanted to shout but only managed a cracked whisper, so she shouted with her mind. Eli! Speak to me, please. She butted her head hard against his chest, trying anything to get through to him. “Eli!” You’re scaring me to death, please answer me!
He lifted his head at last. Renee gasped as he looked down at her. Deep lines of agony were etched in his face. His lips were pulled back in a silent grimace, exposing wicked fangs. His eyes broke her heart. Those beautiful dark eyes were mad, completely feral with pain and rage. No trace of his laughter or gentleness remained in them. 
“Oh Eli, no,” she whispered, tears welling up and slipping down her cheeks. 
Eli moved suddenly, raising a hand and whipping the duster off her before grabbing the chains binding her to the wall. He snapped them with a single sharp pull and caught her shoulders in a bruising grip when she stumbled at the loss of the chains’ support. He hissed in a breath as the movement stretched his seared flesh. Renee felt his terrible pain through the mental bond she refused to relinquish and she tried to send him coolness, peace, strength.
She couldn’t tell if he felt it or not. He glared down at her and she didn’t dare look away. His hunger beat at her. She caught the scent of his blood in the air as his wounds broke open again with his movements and knew the Outcasts had bled him as he’d shielded her from the sun. He’d stood there and let them do it rather than expose her to the light. 
He’d suffered this for her. He’d saved her life, but only at great cost to himself.
She reached up with one trembling hand and caressed his cheek before tilting her head to the side. She could not let him be lost to madness.
There was only one way to ease his pain. “You must feed, Eli,” she murmured, drawing him gently down. If he could survive a day in the sunlight, the poison in her blood surely wouldn’t harm him. She had to believe that. “Feed and come back to me.”
She couldn’t keep from crying out when his fangs tore into her flesh. This time she felt none of the pleasure he’d always sent her when he’d taken her blood, but she didn’t struggle. She wasn’t afraid. 
It’s all right, she told him gently, stroking his hair as he drank deeply, not pulling away even when the darkness started to flow over her vision. It’s all right, love. Take whatever you need.
Chapter Fourteen
Eli came out of the red haze of pain and madness slowly. The taste of blood filled his senses, bringing him strength, bringing him sanity, but something was wrong. That certainty tried to grab him and intrude on the blessed relief of this sweet blood flowing into him, easing his terrible pain. Something inside him demanded he pull away.
He fought it. He knew very little, but the one thing he was sure of was that he needed far more blood than this. He couldn’t remember how he’d been injured, but he knew his injuries had been severe. He had never suffered anything like this. He needed more blood to heal, and none had ever tasted sweeter.
Break away NOW!
This time the instinct was impossible to resist. Eli lifted his head and found himself kneeling on the ground beneath the night sky. All the agony of his body rushed back over him and he hissed in a harsh breath, his arms tightening reflexively around his prey.
No.
Not his prey.
Eli’s heart froze in horror as the full realization of what he’d done struck him. He stared down at Renee’s still form in his arms, a thin line of blood still trickling slowly from the terrible wound at her throat. The wound he’d put there.
He’d saved her from the Outcasts, from Apollo, only to kill her himself.
“No,” he whispered. “No!”
The night was suddenly alive with violence. Thunderheads burst across the sky. Lightning tore through the air and slammed into the ground. The wind howled through the demolition site, toppling walls. The ground trembled from the force of his anguish and horror. Eli didn’t even bother to try to contain his rioting powers as grief tore through him. He threw back his head and roared out his pain as the storm intensified to hurricane proportions.
Faintly, too faintly, a dull sound reached his ears through the fury of the storm. Again it came and this time he identified it—the slow beat of a struggling heart. Desperate hope surged through him and he ruthlessly clamped down on his rioting emotions. The storm died instantly and complete silence reigned. Eli pressed his ear to Renee’s chest, listening with everything in him until he heard the soft, weak beat again. 
His breath hissed out in a rush. She lived, but only just. 
Her veins were nearly dry, her hold on life tenuous. She had gravely needed the blood she’d selflessly offered him. Eli closed the wound on her neck and cradled her against his chest, burying his face in her hair to bring her mouth to his own throat. The gash he sliced there was deep but no blood flowed as it healed instantly. He shook in anger and frustration, slashing deeper, but his body refused to relinquish even a drop of the substance he needed so badly. He couldn’t return her gift to her.
He pulled in his power and focused it, wishing now that he hadn’t spent his energy on the storm. “Renee,” he whispered as he sent all his flagging strength surging through her. Her pulse stuttered, but as he waited in agonized suspense, it finally steadied. He had never heard anything sweeter than her heartbeat, and its weakness shattered him. 
His duster lay on the ground beside them and he wrapped it around her. “Forgive me,” he said, holding her tight and rocking her, not knowing if she even heard him, but needing to say the words. “Forgive me!”
A car suddenly burst through the fence around the demolition site and skidded to a stop nearby. A motorcycle appeared behind it and Ronin leapt from its seat. Eli lifted his head as Diego and James threw the doors open and ran into the wreckage of the broken building, shouting his name, but all his attention was focused on Ronin. Some part of Eli remembered Renee’s frantic call for help, but the triggering of that memory also brought the echoes of Ronin’s threat.
Rage exploded through him. Eli surged to his feet as they approached. It was an agony to stand but he managed it, unwilling to show his terrible pain to these intruders lest they take advantage of it and harm his woman. The sudden torment of his scorched body at the movement pulled him further from his brief moment of clarity. All he saw were three males, two of them unbonded, one not even trying to hide his murderous thoughts, and all of them running toward Renee. The need to defend his Chosen rose and wiped out everything but fierce protective instinct.
Diego saw Eli first as he moved into the shadows A great deal of his tension melted away at finding him alive but a sudden and powerful premonition of danger all but overwhelmed him. 
“Eli!” Diego called, stopping and frowning at the ragged, scorched bundle in Eli’s arms. Didn’t Eli feel the threat all around them? Why didn’t he drop that thing and move to eliminate the danger? “We’re relieved to find you well. Renee said you were hurt. Where is she?”
Eli didn’t answer him. Suddenly all Diego’s instincts were more than alerted to danger, they were screaming it at him. He had no doubt his life was in imminent peril, but he couldn’t discern the source of the threat. 
Eli did nothing to enlighten them. He snarled at the three of them and tightened his hold on the thing in his arms. The scent of blood and burning flesh filled the air, a testament to the battle Eli had fought here. A limp, blistered arm slipped free from the leather-wrapped bundle and Diego frowned, wondering why he was still holding on to a dead Outcast.
When Eli’s gaze fell on Ronin, violent rage filled the tense air, unexplained but impossible to deny. Eli bared his fangs at Ronin in a vicious snarl, every muscle tensing for battle, but he did not attack. He would not put down the body and charge Ronin despite the hatred filling the air.
Ronin froze where he stood. There was no longer any doubt where the danger lay. He and Diego exchanged a worried look. Surely he hadn’t been foolish enough to drink from the body!
Whatever had caused it, this was not the Eli they knew. 
His fury and pain beat at them as he glared at Ronin with eyes that were not the slightest bit sane. Diego reached for Renee’s mind to try to get more information from her, to try to find out where she was and what had happened to Eli. Only when he finally touched Renee’s weak thoughts did he understand why he had not sensed her at once.   
Diego drew in a sharp, shocked breath. Renee was horribly weak, her spirit barely holding on in a body decimated by severe blood loss. She had not been in this condition the last time he’d touched her mind and he understood at once what had happened. 
That was no dead Outcast Eli carried.
Whatever had happened to Eli had driven him insane. Diego would never have thought it possible from Eli, but the signs were too clear to deny. He’d snapped and brutally attacked his own fledgling. The stars only knew what had stopped him from killing her outright, and it was still a very near thing. She hovered on death’s threshold. 
They had to get Renee away from him. If Eli killed her, they would have to destroy him, and Diego didn’t relish the thought of trying to take him down in battle. He’d fought beside Eli enough to know the man was as powerful as several vampires combined and was practically impossible to wound. The memory of that bizarre, violent thunderstorm tickled at his mind and Diego clenched his fists. He would have bet anything that no vampire could influence the weather, but looking at Eli now, he wasn’t so sure. Even injured, even weakened, power and violence flowed around him like a tsunami.
Diego stepped forward cautiously. He didn’t miss the way Eli tensed and clutched Renee closer at his approach, and he stopped at once. His confusion grew. Why didn’t he drop her and fight them when he clearly wanted to? Nothing about this made any sense, but Diego wasn’t about to question his good fortune. No one would ever willingly engage Eli in battle. 
“Eli,” he said softly, lacing his voice with a gentle urge to trust him, to calm down. “You need blood. Let us care for your fledgling while you hunt.”
Eli took a step back, his eyes never leaving Ronin, his fangs bared menacingly. Despite his threatening stance, he still didn’t put Renee down. He held her close to his heart, the posture of his body fiercely protective.
Yet he had clearly attacked her. 
It didn’t add up. Diego was certain he was missing something, something vitally important. He stopped and sent his senses searching again. He felt Eli’s pain, winced at the severity of his burns. Deep gouges and stab-wounds marred his back. Despite nearly draining Renee dry, he was still in terrible need of blood, but Eli at half-strength was still more than a match for him and Ronin together. Never had Diego even suspected that any one vampire possessed such raw power. He closed his eyes and probed deeper, searching for a way through his madness.
And at the center of the storm of Eli’s rage he found Renee.
Diego gasped as the realization hit him. Everything became clear. His eyes snapped to Ronin—a single male, and one who was clearly broadcasting the promise of violence toward the woman Eli held. “Get away from him, Ronin!” 
Diego groaned when Ronin, as usual, showed no signs of obeying him. 
He felt Eli’s desperation surge as Renee’s heart stuttered, struggling to find enough blood to function. He looked at his Steward at the same time Eli did. 
Oh, shit. Two starving vampires needed blood and Diego knew Eli wouldn’t care where he got it. Any mortal would do, and James was altogether too convenient. Diego was honor bound to defend his servant, but he had no illusions about his chances of winning a fight with Eli. 
He had to remove temptation. “James, do not run,” he ordered, his voice low and urgent. “Walk to the car and get inside. Lock all the doors and get the hell out of here.” It wouldn’t help much if Eli did decide to take a bite out of him, but it was all Diego had right now.
James obeyed at once but Ronin still stood his ground. Eli’s attention remained fixed on the Slayer, much to Diego’s relief. 
“What the hell is this about?” Ronin demanded when the car’s tail lights vanished through the fence.
“They’re bonding.” No other explanation for Eli’s behavior made sense, and truly, Diego couldn’t believe he hadn’t felt Eli’s claim on Renee before this. “But the ritual isn’t complete.”
Ronin looked at the pair and grimaced. His disgust was clear. “Eli’s not stupid enough to bed a damned Outcast—and bonding with one? It’s sickening.”
Diego shook his head, groaning inwardly. Ronin was doing no one any favors with his belligerence. He wasn’t sure he could make Ronin understand what the bonding process did to a male, how protective it made him. He sure as hell hadn’t understood it until he’d lived it. Even the tiniest slight would be interpreted as a grave threat and trigger a vicious burst of rage. Ronin’s murderous threats were more than enough to guarantee his death at Eli’s hands.
No wonder he’d gone insane. Once a vampire began the bonding ritual, the fear of losing his Chosen would be paramount, crippling. 
And Renee lay limp and almost lifeless in Eli’s arms.
He was living a nightmare right now.
“You threatened her,” Diego told Ronin, imagining what he would have done to anyone who had tried to threaten Sian during that mad, intense time. The lengths he would go to now to ensure her safety. “And now you’re insulting her. He’ll kill you, Ronin. You’re damn lucky not to be dead already.” 
Ronin clenched his fists and opened his mouth to argue.
Diego cut him off. “Look, do us all a favor and shut up before he changes his mind about dismembering you, all right? Believe me when I tell you you’re doing more harm than good here. Now will you get the hell out of here so I can try to get him calmed down before she dies of blood loss?”
Eli roared with rage at those words and both men looked warily at him. His eyes glowed red as he glarled at Diego for daring to speak such a thing aloud. Diego’s entire body tensed in expectation of an attack which thankfully did not come. 
One thought pounded in his head—Renee could not die. If she died there would be no pulling Eli back from the madness, and sweet Dios, he didn’t know how they’d stop Eli if that happened. Diego glanced at Ronin even as he reached for Renee’s failing consciousness, sending her the strong compulsion to stay with them. “Go, Ronin,” he repeated quietly. “Please.”
Ronin glowered at him but finally strode back to his motorcycle. Only when the sound of its engine faded in the distance did Diego turn back to Eli. He stepped closer, ready to stop at the barest hint of aggression, making sure the mark of his bond with Sian was clearly visible as he approached. He hoped it removed him as a threat. The last thing he wanted was to provoke a jealous rage when Eli was already feral from fear, hunger, and pain. 
“Let me help you, Eli. I can keep her safe so she can heal. No one will harm her, I swear it. I know she can’t use the bagged blood, but I can give her—”
Eli bared his fangs again. “My blood,” he growled, the first words he’d spoken since their arrival. “No one else’s.”
Diego took a deep breath. He understood Eli’s feelings perfectly—he hated the thought of Sian taking anyone’s blood but his—but this was a desperate situation. “She’s weak,” he pointed out, choosing every word carefully to avoid any hint of accusation. “You must know she can’t hunt with you. She might not be able to wait for your return, Eli, and you have nothing to spare for her now.”
“My blood,” Eli repeated, his eyes blazing. It wasn’t a metaphor. Looking into Eli’s eyes was like gazing into the pits of hell. “Not yours. Mine.”
Diego stopped arguing. It was pointless and the longer they debated it, the weaker Renee became. He stepped to within arm’s reach of the pair, his hands still outstretched, his posture as non-threatening as possible. As he drew closer, Diego saw the newly-healed cuts on Eli’s throat. The raw pink slashes testified to his failed attempt to give her what she needed. He’d seen how fast Eli healed, and the fact that those marks hadn’t vanished yet told him how great Eli’s own need was. 
“Hunt now,” Diego urged. “I will keep her safe for you. The sooner you feed, the sooner you can return and care for her.”
Diego held his breath as Eli stared at him for a long, tense moment. At last his gaze left Diego to touch Renee’s face. The tension of his body eased a bare fraction, but it was enough. 
Diego reached forward slowly, keeping a wary eye on Eli the entire time, but Eli let him take Renee from his arms without protest. Diego felt the full weight of the responsibility he’d been given as he carefully held her. Her weakness was alarming and Diego worried what would happen if he was forced to give her blood before Eli returned. He knew he would do it—it would be too dangerous to all of them if she died—but Eli would hate it.
He didn’t want to think what Eli would do to him should he violate this sacred trust.
Oblivious to Diego’s worries, Eli reached out and placed his hand over Renee’s heart. Diego felt a sudden forceful surge of power flow from Eli into her, steadying her heartbeat, sending strength through her weakened body and buoying her fragile life-force. It felt like he was willing her to live. Her lashes fluttered as Diego’s eyes widened in shock. 
Suddenly the freak storm seemed like nothing. Even at full strength, Diego knew he was unable to do such a thing. Not for the first time, he wondered just how powerful Eli truly was. 
Renee looked up at Eli and tried to smile for him before her eyelids slipped closed again. He placed his trembling hand against her cheek and closed his eyes for a moment.
Then he fixed his dark gaze on Diego. “Don’t let her die.”
Diego breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Eli’s eyes, while tormented, were sane at last as they bored into his. His words had come out as a command, but Diego heard the terror beneath them and understood they were a plea. He knew what Eli wanted to hear and wished he could reassure him Renee would be alive when he returned.
 “No one will touch her. She will be safe,” Diego replied, promising what he could. He hesitated, then added, “Eli, if she can’t wait for you, Sian can aid her.”
Eli’s eyes flashed but after a moment he nodded, agreeing to the idea of Sian giving her blood. Diego was immensely relieved—even with Eli’s amazing gift of strength, Renee was still so weak Diego wondered if she’d survive until Eli returned. After all, even in the swiftest animal form, it would take Eli some time to get from this abandoned and empty area to a place where humans lingered—
Eli simply dissolved.
Diego gaped for a moment. No, he had to be mistaken. Eli couldn’t have disappeared. He had never seen that before, had never heard of any vampire with that power. Renee shivered in his arms and he snapped back to the present. 
Confusion could wait. Right now he had a promise to keep.
 
* * *
 
Urgency rode Eli hard as he shot across the sky to the closest concentration of humans. His fear and pain combined in a volatile mixture that made it hard to control himself as he plummeted to the ground. He made only a cursory effort to conceal his sudden appearance from those thronging the streets. When a young woman jumped and stared at him, he simply beckoned her and her friends into the nearest alley and took as much blood from them as they could stand to lose.
He fed heavily, taking far more than usual. His body cried out for the healing sustenance and he knew Renee was depending on him to provide for her. He barely bothered with subtlety or secrecy. Everyone who walked past his alley was diverted down it, emerging minutes later, dizzy and confused. Only the vast numbers of humans around him, the certainty of plenty of prey, kept Eli from draining each dry.
He didn’t care if he killed tonight. Renee’s terrible need was all that mattered.
When his own hunger was sated at last and his veins were bursting with life, he streaked across the sky to Diego’s home. He searched for Renee, felt her in one of the bedrooms—she was so weak!—and tried to seep in through the window.
Something held him back. An invisible barrier separated him from his Chosen. A killing rage burst through Eli’s mind before he realized Diego was only fulfilling his vow to keep Renee safe. Seething with impatience at the delay, he materialized on the doorstep and pounded on the door.
James opened it at once and quickly stepped out of his way. Eli didn’t even notice. He was already moving with preternatural speed toward the bedroom where Renee lay. Even though separated from her by half the palatial house, Eli heard her heart laboring to beat despite the strength he’d given her. There simply wasn’t enough blood to support it.
Sian looked up from her perch on the bedside when the door burst open and Eli charged into the room. Diego rose from his chair in the corner and pulled Sian to his side, ready to defend her should Eli show any sign of his earlier madness, but he strode past them without a word. He sat on the edge of the bed and drew Renee carefully into his arms. Diego urged Sian into the hall and pulled the door closed behind them, but Eli paid them no attention whatsoever. He had eyes only for Renee.
Eli cradled her against him and stroked her hair gently, hardly noticing that her torn and bloody clothes had been replaced by a soft knit nightgown. “Wake up, Renee,” he murmured, sending strength rushing through her again. “You have to feed now, baby. Wake up.”
Her eyes opened slowly and softened when she saw him. Eli shifted her in his arms, bringing her mouth to his neck. A moment passed before he realized she was too weak to use her fangs. He prayed she had the strength to drink as he pierced his skin with one elongated claw. This time the blood flowed. When her mouth closed over the cut, Eli felt a tiny brush of power. 
The pain of the little wound faded to a barely-discernible sting. 
Guilt suffused his soul. She thought to spare him this pinprick when he had brutally torn her own throat. “Save your strength, little one,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. 
Her gentle touch wavered, then strengthened. The sting vanished altogether. 
You took…enough pain for me. Her voice in his mind was weak, the mental equivalent of the faintest whisper, but he heard her clearly. How many times…tell you…not little one?
He held her tight, tears stinging his eyes. As she drew the life-giving liquid into her body, he felt her fangs first lengthen and then pierce his skin. A moment later, she drew on her weak power and brought a tiny wave of pleasure rushing through him. It shattered his heart. 
“Beloved,” he murmured, stroking her hair, her body, reassuring himself that she was alive and would be all right. With every touch, her burns faded and vanished. “Can I call you that?”
Her lips curved against his skin in a smile. I might allow that, she replied, and relief filled him as he felt her growing stronger again.
Only a few minutes passed before he felt her heal the little wounds on his neck. He looked down at her, frowning in concern. “You didn’t take enough. You can’t stop now, you need more.”
She snuggled against him, her eyes already closed in her pale face. Her voice was barely a whisper in the silent room. “Too tired.”
Her words made him aware of the nearing dawn. In this state there was no way she’d be strong enough to fight off the day sleep. He sent his senses searching through her, then relaxed as he felt her body healing with the aid of his powerful blood. She was still desperately ill but he thought she’d be all right until night fell. Then he’d tend to her again and make her take everything she needed to heal completely.
He closed the curtains and secured the room for day with hardly a thought before gently tucking Renee beneath the covers. A moment later, he was beside her, his clothes flung carelessly over the arm of a chair, pulling her into his arms and holding her tight as she fell asleep. It was a long time before the terrible memories of this nightmare day and night released him. At last his exhaustion overcame him and his eyes closed, the relief of holding Renee in his arms again following him down into oblivion.
He awoke at sunset with dread hanging heavy over him and the certainty that something was horribly wrong. 
Renee. He reached for her, wanting to feel her warm skin and see her topaz eyes alight with life, needing to reassure himself she was well.
But her skin was cold beneath his fingers and her eyes were closed. Eli let out an anguished cry of denial and caught her shoulders. This couldn’t be happening. He refused to accept this! She might not have taken all the blood she needed from him last night, but she’d been better when they’d gone to sleep. Damn it, he had felt her growing stronger last night! 
All the denial in the world would not make this nightmare go away. She clung to the very edge of life again, her pulse slow and uneven, and nothing he did would rouse her. Eli caught her close and slashed open his throat again, pressing her mouth to the flow of blood. Despair threatened to overcome him when she didn’t drink.
“Don’t do this,” he whispered to her, refusing to heal his wound, hoping at least some of the life-giving fluid would seep down her throat despite her weakness. “I won’t let you leave me, little one. I can’t let you go!”
“I thought you had decided on that path, Lycidas,” a feminine voice remarked. “Why did you change your mind after you left her?”
Eli didn’t raise his head even though it had been more than two thousand years since he’d last heard his mother’s voice. For once, the sound of it brought him no joy. “I was a fool to think I could live without her,” he admitted without reservation, his voice bitter. “But I’ve always been a fool, haven’t I?”
Nyx moved to the bedside and healed his wound with a glance. “You weaken yourself needlessly,” she said when he simply reached up and opened it again. “Surely you can feel how useless it is. This one goes on to her next life.”
Angry words of denial died on his lips. He felt Renee’s life ebbing away. “She won’t have a next life. Apollo won’t let her be born into this world again. He knows I would find her, no matter where on Earth he puts her. No, he’ll keep her in the afterlife, out of my reach.”
Nyx shrugged gracefully. “It may be.”
Her calm acceptance was beyond him. Eli raised tormented eyes to look on his mother, her dark, lovely face shimmering with all the night’s mystery. Nyx was one of the most ancient of goddesses, and it was rumored that her power rivaled Zeus’s. She feared nothing. In all the aeons Eli had been bound to the mortal world, Nyx was the only one who had ever defied Zeus and done anything to ease his pain. She’d given him sanctuary in her realm of night, had visited him and spoken with him from time to time when the loneliness threatened to crush him. She was the only one who had never abandoned him, and in his gratitude, he had never asked anything of her.
He asked now. “Can you save her?”
Nyx sighed, a sound like the rustle of an owl’s wings. “She has been poisoned by a powerful venom. It has been in her body for many hours now, Lycidas. She is too far gone for me to save. It would be kinder to let her go.”
Those words crushed him. Eli bent his head over Renee’s, hiding his tears from the goddess. Now that Nyx had pointed it out, Eli felt the insidious taint of the poison in her body. It was far beyond his power to heal. “Then let me die with her,” he whispered. “You can kill me. Let me follow her.”
He felt her place a gentle hand on his shoulder, healing his wound again. This time he didn’t have the heart to reopen his vein. His heart bled enough for both of them.
“Why do you give such devotion to one of these?” Nyx asked, sounding genuinely puzzled as she brushed her fingertips over Renee’s hair. “She is lovely, but she is still human, a lesser being. You are a god, greater than her in every way. Why would you wish to cast your immortality aside for an inferior creature?”
His arm tightened around Renee and he shoved Nyx’s hand away. “I won’t hear you speak ill of her,” he said, his voice a low rumble of menace. “You know nothing of her.”
Nyx was silent for a long time. He felt her in his mind, reading his feelings for this woman she’d disparaged, but Eli didn’t bother trying to hide it from her. Every ounce of his attention was given to the dying woman in his arms, the faint rise and fall of her chest and the unsteady beat of her heart. Now he cursed his immortality, his divinity, his so-called superiority. Had he been like Renee, the poison in her blood would have finished him, too.
But he wasn’t like her. He was like no one on Earth.
Renee was the only one who had ever made him forget that, just for a little while.
Finally he felt the goddess shift away from him. “I felt your suffering and brought you a gift, Lycidas.” He heard her place something on the bedside table. “Perhaps it will ease your pain.”
He knew what she’d left him. She had brought it to him several times during his years in exile, coming to him when the pain had become too much to bear. The last time she had done this had been nearly two thousand years ago, long before the memories of any of his current companions. The scent of ambrosia, the food of the gods, the essence of what made them divine, filled his body with an almost painful longing. 
Eli refused to reach for it. He wanted nothing to remind him of what he was right now. Not even the power in that substance would strengthen him enough to save Renee. Only a few gods had the power to give life and he cursed bitterly that he wasn’t one of them. He felt Nyx withdraw from the room and couldn’t even spare the energy to wonder when or if he would see her again. Surely Zeus would put a stop to it should he ever find out she brought ambrosia to him, and after yesterday, Apollo would certainly be watching.
His head came up sharply as realization hit him. Ambrosia. Nyx had said she couldn’t save Renee, but she’d brought him the very thing which separated the gods from mortals. The source of their divinity and power.
And poison didn’t affect gods.
Hope burst inside him as Eli reached for the crystal dish Nyx had left. He tilted Renee’s head back against his shoulder and her lips parted, the stain of his blood on them vivid in her chalk-pale face. His hands trembled despite his resolve as he lifted a spoonful of the divine food and brought it to her lips. 
What he was about to do was against all the laws of Olympus and well he knew it. If Zeus found out about this, he would come down and destroy Eli personally.
He didn’t care. All that mattered was saving the woman in his arms. He called her name as he eased the ambrosia onto her tongue. “Try for me, baby,” he whispered, using all his power to help her swallow despite her terrible weakness. “You must do this. Please, little one, try for me.”
 
* * *
 
 
Nyx watched from the shadows that were her home, a faint smile curving her lips as she watched her son defy every law and god to save his woman. Never had she been prouder of him. 
“Well done,” she whispered as she spread the net of her power over the house to conceal them from any other’s prying eyes. She would see to it that nothing disturbed them before this was finished. 
 
* * *
 
Renee’s consciousness faded in and out. At first she was only intermittently aware of strong arms around her and she was glad Eli was with her now. She knew she was dying and she was afraid to do it alone. 
Then something new touched her senses. A taste—sweet, light, satisfying in a way nothing had ever been. It defied her to describe it. Eli’s voice murmured softly in her mind, sending her strength, encouraging her to swallow, and although it was a bitter struggle, she managed it at last. At once a spoon touched her lips again and she instinctively opened for more as a burst of strength rocked her body.
More sensations slowly returned. Warmth surrounded her. Her body tingled. Again that sweet something slipped over her tongue and she swallowed, the effort coming easier this time. Electricity arced through her, each cell swelling with power, the strange feeling chasing away the pain the poison had inflicted on her. Floating in half-consciousness, she opened her mouth again for the next bite, and the next. She heard her heartbeat stabilize and her breathing became easier. The poison’s hold weakened. 
For the first time since the Outcasts cornered her in the alley, she dared to hope she might live through this. What was this sweetness that strengthened her? Slowly, with great difficulty, Renee forced her eyes open.
Eli’s face filled her vision, his dark eyes filled with worry and determination. At her movement, he pulled her tightly to him, shuddering hard and stroking her hair with a trembling hand. Only a moment later, he pulled back and searched her face anxiously. She tried to smile for him but it was too difficult. His frown returned.
“You’re still far too weak. You have to finish the rest,” he ordered, lifting the spoon to her lips again.
She swallowed obediently and as he lowered the spoon to scoop up another bite, she tried to turn her head to see what he was feeding her. She didn’t yet have the energy, but she was feeling stronger by the second. “What is it?” 
He brushed a kiss over her lips. “A gift from my mother. Now eat and save your strength.” And he lifted another bite to her mouth.
Renee swallowed again and was opening her mouth for more when his words finally sank in. She gasped, suddenly knowing what he fed her. What it must be. Life and power, he’d described it, and she felt her body filling with both. “Eli, no!” she protested. “You need it—”
“—less than you do,” he interrupted, taking advantage of her open mouth to slip the spoon in again. “Don’t even think about defying me in this, little one. At this moment, I feel more than capable of pouring it down your throat whether you want it or not.” A shiver ran through his body again and he pressed his lips to her forehead. “Do you have any idea how close you came to leaving me?”
She finally accomplished the almost overwhelming task of turning her head and saw a heavy crystal dish on the blankets beside her. Only a few mouthfuls of a creamy, sparkling substance remained in the bottom of it. Its color continually shifted through every hue in the rainbow and some she had never before imagined. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, but when he tried to give her another bite, she pressed her lips together and turned away. 
She didn’t have to be a genius to figure out that she wasn’t supposed to touch this stuff.
Eli grasped her chin in a gentle hand and brought her back to face him. “You will finish this,” he growled. “Fight me in anything else, everything else, but not this.”
She didn’t make the mistake of opening her mouth to argue with him. This is for you, not me, she thought to his mind. You told me how you suffer without it. When will you ever get any more? I won’t take it from you—it’s not right!
Instead of replying, Eli cupped her chin in his hand and kissed her, his mouth soft and possessive on hers. He tugged at her lower lip with his teeth, his tongue tracing the sensitive inner flesh, and without hesitation she opened to him.
He pulled away abruptly, his warm mouth instantly replaced with another cool bite of ambrosia. Renee choked in surprise and swallowed out of reflex before glaring at him. That was a dirty trick, she accused, coughing.
He didn’t look a bit sorry. “You will finish all of it,” he repeated, his voice infused with steely resolve. “Every single drop.” 
I thought you only fought battles you could win, she reminded him, making no move to open her mouth again.
He raised the spoon, his eyes narrowing when she clenched her jaw. “I will win, little one. Make no mistake about it. Now do we do this the easy way or the hard way?”
Renee glared at him for another long moment before sighing. There really was no hope of resisting him until she was stronger and they both knew it. Bully, she grumbled as she gave in. I don’t know why you’re insisting on this foolishness.
He pulled her closer, his lips brushing hers again with infinite tenderness. “Don’t you?” 
His tone made her heart turn over. She couldn’t think of a thing to say that wouldn’t betray the yearning in her heart. Even though her memories were blurred from the effects of the poison, she clearly remembered him saying he loved her to stop her from going to Apollo. She remembered the nightmare of the day and his refusal to leave her and save himself. She closed her eyes to hide the tears suddenly filling them. 
For the first time since he’d left her alone, hope welled in her heart.
Finally she heard Eli drop the spoon in the dish. He leaned back against the headboard and drew her close, stroking her back and running his fingers through her hair. All the lingering aches and weakness of her ordeal melted away in the warmth of his embrace. It was the closest thing to heaven she’d ever felt. 
“Thank you,” she whispered, knowing what he had given up for her. The enormity of his sacrifice humbled her. “And don’t you dare do that again. Do you understand me?”
He laughed softly at her command. “Agreed,” he murmured. “As long as you promise never to come so close to death again in return.” There was a long pause and Renee sighed, loving the feel of his arms around her and the beat of his heart beneath her ear. At last he spoke again. “How do you feel?”
She shifted, feeling the strength returning to her body. Every cell tingled with a power she’d never before possessed. “Better,” she said hesitantly. “But strange.”
He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes for a long moment before smiling down at her. “Do you feel up to going home now?” 
Home. The word made Renee’s heart leap and her stomach clench. She looked up at him and tried to hide the turmoil in her heart. The only place that felt like home was in his arms. She closed her eyes, wanting to pray that he didn’t intend to take her back to the house he’d given her and leave her there again, but unable to form the words.
She was cradled in a god’s embrace right now. To whom should she pray? 
 
Chapter Fifteen
His fingertips caressed her cheek when she didn’t reply. “Come with me,” Eli urged. “There are things I must tell you, things I should have told you long before now. If you decide to throw things at me, I don’t want Diego and Sian around to witness it.”
She couldn’t help but laugh at a mental picture of Eli cowering in the corner as she pelted him with books and trinkets. She knew the crazy image came from him and she appreciated his attempt to ease her foreboding, but anxiety still gripped her. Every time he had told her he needed to tell her something, it had been something she would have rather not heard. 
“If I decide to throw things at you,” she teased to hide her fears, “I’ll make sure and yell at you so loudly that they’ll hear me anyway.”
Eli groaned in mock-resignation before rolling out of bed and pulling on his jeans. Renee was about to follow suit when a tall, gorgeous woman materialized from the shadows. Renee clutched the blankets to her chest, awe-struck. Black hair tumbled in a silken waterfall past the woman’s hips and her dark eyes twinkled with light. Those lights mesmerized Renee, swirling like galaxies caught in endless black depths. Renee couldn’t hold back her fearful gasp as her power swirled through the room.
Just like Eli’s.
The woman barely looked at her before turning her eyes to Eli. Renee glanced at him and took comfort when he didn’t seem alarmed to see the newcomer at all. When the woman spoke, it was in a dialect Renee had never heard before, but when Eli touched her mind, she understood every word. 
“You sacrifice much for this one, my son.” 
Renee fought to keep her jaw from dropping. My son? This incredible beauty was Eli’s mother? Renee stared in disbelief at Nyx, unable to believe she was looking at the real, live, honest-to-goodness goddess of night.
Eli merely shrugged and pulled his shirt over his head. “It was the only way,” he replied in the same language. “Was I to let her die when you left me the means to save her?”
Nyx shook her head, that secretive smile still teasing the corners of her lips. “I would not expect you to do such a thing.”
When she looked at Renee, her dark eyes seemed to see straight into her heart and soul. When she spoke again, Renee was surprised to hear her use English. “You knew you were dying and yet you tried to reject his gift when you realized what it was. Why? Do you wish for death?”
Renee fought the urge to shift uncomfortably under her gaze. She knew now exactly where Eli had gotten his penetrating stare. “No, of course I don’t.” The goddess didn’t look satisfied with her answer and Renee tried again. “I didn’t want to take it from Eli. He needs it. He was hurting—he still is.”
Nyx nodded. Her smile lit the room as she waved her hand and the crystal dish at Renee’s side suddenly filled again. “You wish for him to receive this. It is a good wish and I grant it.”
Then she turned her penetrating gaze on Eli. “You think to give this to her as well and I will not allow it,” she said sternly, clearly hearing his thoughts. “Once I can forgive, but this you will keep for yourself or receive no more. Your woman is healed and will have no further need of it. Do not reject my gift again, Eli.”
Eli’s eyes widened as he realized what she’d called him. Nyx’s stern look faded and she gazed at her son with undisguised pride. “Eli,” she repeated, reaching out and touching his cheek. “The name you have chosen for yourself is perfect, my son. The most high. It is fitting for a god. No longer will I call you what Apollo decreed.” And with that she vanished.
Renee lifted the crystal bowl carefully in the sudden silence that fell over the room and held it out to him. He took it slowly, looking from the bowl to Renee, thinking of what Nyx had said. He wondered if she was still watching. 
Renee narrowed her eyes, clearly discerning the direction of his thoughts. “Oh, no, you don’t. I won’t touch a drop of that. She said I don’t need it. You do, and if you give me any attitude about it, I’ll force-feed you!”
He laughed and sat on the bed beside her. “You sound like you would enjoy it far too much,” he teased, shaking his head. 
Renee wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his back as he ate the ambrosia, shivering when she felt his ever-present aura of power swell and grow. Soon every hair on her body was standing on end and she had to lock her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering, but she didn’t release him. 
This was what he truly was, and she couldn’t help being awed by him.
And her doubts crept in on the heels of that thought. How could such a powerful being truly love her?
Eli set the dish aside and closed his eyes for a long moment, savoring the relief surging through his veins. Blood was an adequate substitute, but nothing compared to the real thing. He lifted his hand and the curtains billowed with his movement, reminding him to pull in his power a little, before he turned and pulled Renee into his lap.
Here was something even better than the ambrosia, and he was dying for a taste. 
Her lips were sweet with ambrosia and he devoured her, needing her in a way that should have terrified him but instead left him feeling exalted. She gasped when he pulled away to nuzzle her ear, giving her earlobe a little nip. The feel of her bare skin against his arms sent a wave of desire through him and he couldn’t resist skimming his lips down the side of her throat. He growled when she shivered in his arms.
Oh, yes, he knew exactly what he wanted to do first now that he was back at full strength, but he forced the too-tempting thought away and rested his chin on her head. He had to speak to her before they made love again. There was no way to put it off any longer. “Ready to go?” he asked, trying unsuccessfully to keep the husky note from his voice.
Renee nodded against his chest and he clothed her with a thought before standing with her still cradled securely in his arms. She raised her head and grinned at him. “I’m not an invalid, Eli,” she said, glancing down at the jeans and snug button-down blouse suddenly replacing her nightgown. “I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself, and I’m pretty sure I still remember how to walk, too.” 
“You take all the fun out of it. I was looking forward to making you blush in front of Diego and Sian.”
He carried her as far as the door before reluctantly lowering her to her feet. He couldn’t make himself release his grip on her hand, though, and laced his fingers more tightly through hers. 
She glared and poked him in the side. “You really are trying to get things thrown at you,” she said, but she couldn’t hide the laughter in her voice.
It sent relief spiraling through his entire body. He didn’t think he would ever recover from this scare. He gave in to the need to pull her into his embrace again, holding her tight and hoping she didn’t feel how badly he was shaking. He shuddered as he relived the horrible moments when he had been certain she would die and leave him. She squeezed him back as though she understood.
He almost laughed at the irony. After thousands of years of fearing nothing, he had finally found something that terrified him, and it was a woman so small, he could break her with one hand. He smiled ruefully even as he clung to her. The life vibrating through her body made him grateful enough to weep. If anyone had told him this little fledgling would bring him to his knees in a few short weeks, he would have laughed in their face, but there was no denying it.
And he’d wronged her, and now he had to find a way to explain himself. Eli finally forced himself to let her go and lead her down the stairs, though he couldn’t give up his hold on her hand. The last thing he wanted to do was see Diego and Sian, but they had been almost as worried for Renee as he had been and their help had been invaluable. They deserved to see her recovery for themselves before he took her home and tried to explain what he’d done.
Diego stood as they descended the stairs, Sian dropping what she was doing in the study and hurrying to join him. Eli’s tight grip on Renee’s hand did not go unnoticed by either of them. Diego draped his arm around Sian’s shoulders and breathed a silent sigh of relief to see Renee walking on her own, seemingly fully recovered.
But it was Eli who made their jaws drop. The man almost seemed to glow with power. Those black eyes swirled like a dark whirlpool and the very air around him was charged like the atmosphere right before a lightning strike. The chandelier above them rocked gently when he moved. Diego had never felt anything like it and drew Sian a step back in spite of himself. 
Who was this man?
Eli smiled at him and Diego felt the electric atmosphere lighten considerably. He glanced at their linked hands again, trying to get over the strangeness of Eli actually allowing someone to touch him, before he returned the smile. “We are glad your Chosen is well, Eli.”
Instantly he knew he had misspoken. The air thickened as Eli’s eyes flashed. He shook his head sharply once, cutting off any further comments, before leading Renee toward the front door. Renee looked as confused as Diego suddenly felt and he edged forward, putting Sian behind him despite her resistance. Eli was still acting strangely. 
“Thank you for your aid,” Eli said, but his tone was cool. 
And then they were gone.
Sian laid her hand on his shoulder. “Didn’t you tell me they’re bonding?” 
Diego nodded, and Sian’s frown deepened. “But she didn’t know. You saw her, you know it’s true. How can she not know?”
Diego took her hand and raised it to his lips. “Don’t worry about her, querida. She’ll be fine.” And he wasn’t about to question Eli, especially after he’d felt the intense power he possessed. 
Eli gathered Renee close as soon as the door closed behind them and launched them into the sky. He didn’t like her silence. Damn Diego for that comment! He felt her confusion and wanted to reassure her but he didn’t know what to say. Whatever she feared, it was very likely true. He tried to gather his thoughts and plan what he would tell her, but his own fears kept getting in the way. 
If he failed, she would leave. If he couldn’t convince her, he’d spend the rest of eternity alone. The thought of returning to his empty existence was agony.
He brought them to his underground home rather than the house he’d given her without conscious thought. Only when they stood in his entryway did Renee speak. 
“Why did Diego say that?” she asked, looking down at the hand he still held instead of at his face. “Why did he call me your Chosen?”
Eli cursed Diego again as he drew Renee gently into the den. A fire flared to life in the fireplace as he settled her on the couch and knelt at her feet. “What do you know of bondmates, little one?” he asked, not knowing quite how to begin.
She bit her lip and shrugged. Her eyes found the fire and lingered there. “Only what Sian told me the first time I met her,” she replied slowly. “She said it’s like being married, but more.”
“That’s right.” He searched her face for a reaction, and found none. He tried to touch her thoughts, but she was blocking him. “Do you know how the bond is created?” Eli asked, trying to fight down his foreboding. No one had ever been able to hide their thoughts from him as totally as Renee, and all he sensed from her now was a sudden, intense turmoil. Why wasn’t she looking at him?
She shook her head, her teeth still worrying her lip. “Isn’t it what Kalen tried to do to me? In the alley, after they—I mean, after I was weak, he drank my blood and tried to make me take his.”
Red flames danced before his vision as he struggled to control his fury. He didn’t want to imagine what Renee had been through before he had found her. There was no doubt that if she had taken Kalen’s blood in that alley, he would have forced the merging of body and mind on her. He thought of Kalen’s quick death and wished he’d made the vile beast suffer more. 
“No, little one, a true bond is not made like that,” Eli said only when he was certain his voice wouldn’t quake with rage. He brushed a stray hair from her cheek and took a deep breath. “But there is a blood exchange,” he murmured, watching her carefully for any sign of her emotions. “Three exchanges, each made while joined in body and mind. Do you understand what I’m telling you, Renee?”
Color flooded her cheeks. She raised her shocked gaze to his at last but when she opened her mouth to speak, no words came. All she could do was stare.
After an endless moment, Eli had to break the dreadful silence. “I was wrong,” he murmured, squeezing her hands tight. “I was wrong to put you in this position. The first time it happened, I was so overwhelmed by what I felt when we came together I hardly knew what I was doing. But afterward—” He let out a long sigh, looking with shadowed eyes at the couch on which she sat. “I have no excuse, Renee. I knew it was wrong and still I did it.”
Emotion came into her eyes at last, darkening them to amber. “That’s why you gave me the house,” she whispered. “It really wasn’t about the Outcasts. You didn’t want me here anymore, did you?”
“I knew, if you stayed with me, we’d complete the third exchange,” he admitted. “I couldn’t allow that. You didn’t know what it meant. I had to let you go and give you the chance to make your own choices while you still could.” 
She looked down slowly, as if the movement was difficult. “I understand.”
The pain in her voice cut him to the soul. “Forgive me,” he implored, rising on his knees and cupping her face in his hands. She nodded silently, still looking down at her lap. He sought for anything something that might ease the pain radiating from her. 
“It isn’t too late. I didn’t lie to you when I said you haven’t been claimed. You are free to choose any man you desire. Nothing has been done that cannot be undone.” The reassurance was like ashes on his tongue. He had to force the next words out. “You are not yet my bondmate, Renee.”
Renee looked up at him and touched his face gently. “It’s all right, Eli,” she whispered as though she were the one reassuring him. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’ll go. You’re right, I’ll be fine on my own. You don’t need to worry about me anymore.”
Eli didn’t let her get to her feet. He couldn’t. For thousands of years, he’d been alone and he’d known from the start that Renee would leave him alone again, but he still couldn’t just stand aside and let her walk away. The thought of watching her live her life from a distance was unbearable. 
“You won’t stay?” he asked, then could have bitten his tongue out for the words. He had never begged anyone for anything in his entire existence.
But never had he been in the position of watching the woman he loved leave him.
To hell with his pride. If ever there was a time for begging, this was it.
Renee looked up sharply, surprised. Everything he had told her had made sense, until that. This…this sounded like he wanted her to stay. 
But that made no sense at all. Why would he have given her a house, left her alone, told her all this if not to gently ease her out of his life? Yes, he’d said he loved her when she’d been near death, but after she’d heard his story, she knew he would’ve done anything to save her. Eli felt like he’d failed so many before her, he would’ve been frantic to save her. He knew she loved him. What better way to motivate her to hang on than to say he felt the same?
It was a childish fantasy to believe it was true. He was a god. No matter that he would never return to Olympus, he couldn’t stop being what he was. Saying he was out of her league was the understatement of the millennia. She was just an ordinary woman who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He’d been kind to her, patient and indulgent, but now it was getting out of hand. She couldn’t blame him. How could any mere woman be a god’s consort?
But he was watching her so closely, not bothering to hide the turmoil in his eyes, his hands gentle on her face. He’d already saved her life. Why would he keep up the charade now? 
“I don’t understand,” she managed, unable to find any other words through her whirling thoughts.
Eli leaned forward until his mouth was a breath from hers. “I swore I would not take your choice,” he whispered. “Choose to stay with me.”         
His mouth was gentle, persuasive, tasting her as though he was afraid it would be the last time and determined to memorize her. She closed her eyes and let herself be swept away, forgetting her confusion, forgetting this was impossible. 
Still, when he pulled away, reality tried to intrude again. “You’re a god.”
Eli smiled down at her, his breath coming as fast as hers, but his gaze was still tense. “Was that a comment on my kiss or a genuine concern?” he asked with a hint of his former humor, and she smiled in spite of herself. He caressed her cheek and went serious again. “Yes, little one, I’m a god. It didn’t frighten you before. Does it now?”
She shook her head at once. Nothing could make her fear him. “That’s not what I meant,” she tried to explain. “You can’t possibly want someone like me. You should have someone perfect, a goddess or something. You—”
He cut her off with another kiss, this time long and deep and intensely hot. One hand dove into her hair, cradling her skull in his palm and holding her just where he wanted her as his other arm slid around her waist to mold her against him. She was barely aware of him pressing her back on the couch until his body covered hers from chest to thigh. She gasped at the hard evidence of his desire pressing against her hip before he tore his mouth away. 
“I gave up Olympus for you, endured unspeakable torment for you, risked the fury of every god for you. By Luna, I’m on my knees begging for you. How can you think, even for a single instant, that I don’t want you? Do you have any idea at all what you mean to me?”
She couldn’t speak. All she could do was look up at him with wide eyes that she knew revealed far too much.
His arms tightened at her hesitation. “I swear you’ll be happy with me, Renee. If you were my mate, no one would ever harm you again,” he said fiercely, the words tumbling out. “I’d kill anyone who tried. You’d never want for anything as long as you live. Tell me what you desire, anything you desire, and it’s yours. I’ll—”
Renee pressed her fingers to his lips, stilling his speech. “Shh, Eli. I don’t want your protection and I don’t want things.”
The desperation in his eyes grew. “What do you want? Name it, little one, and I swear I’ll get it for you. Anything.”
She shook her head. Hope bloomed in her heart as he laid his need bare. “You can’t buy me, but you can have me. All I want from you are three words. I’m sure you know which ones.”
It took a moment before the light dawned and Eli smiled, a genuine smile at last. “I’ll do better than words.” He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers. “Let me show you.”
Suddenly she was flooded with breathtaking emotion. Desire, joy, adoration, and fierce, overwhelming need. She felt his endless years of loneliness and his fear of more, all the more empty because of what he’d shared with her. Most of all, strongest of all, was love intense enough to terrify a god. 
“I love you, Renee Hardin,” he whispered, unashamedly letting her experience everything he felt for her. “I need you. I worship you.” The words were a pale representation of such intense feeling but he repeated them over and over between soft, intoxicating kisses. She melted against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and wishing this moment could go on forever.
Long minutes later, Eli drew back and swore softly as he rested his forehead against hers again. “You have me on the edge of reason here. I need you to say something soon, little one.”
Her breath was coming fast and every aching cell of her body wished he hadn’t stopped, but she tried to form a coherent sentence anyway. “What do you want me to say?” she asked, running her fingers through his hair. “I don’t recall a question being asked.” 
He groaned and shifted his weight until he lay beside her instead of pinning her down. “I bare my heart and she teases me,” he complained, but she heard the smile in his voice. Renee laughed and kissed him before he pulled back and looked down at her, his dark eyes serious. 
“Let me try again. I want your choice, Renee. I want your heart and your mind and your friendship. I want your love and your laughter and your trust. I want eternity with you beside me. I want the third exchange. You only want my words, but I…” He smiled a little and caressed her cheek. “I want everything.”
Her heart pounded. Hearing those words from his lips was a dream come true. He still hadn’t asked a question, but she answered it anyway. “Yes.” 
Eli’s arms tightened around her. “Be sure,” he warned, but she saw the triumph flare in his eyes before he could hide it. “There is no going back, and even if there was I wouldn’t release you. If you have any doubts, leave me now while you can. I would hate myself for trapping you, but don’t think for a second that I would let you go. I’m not that noble.”
There wasn’t a doubt in her mind. She opened her thoughts to him and let him see it for himself. “I love you, Eli,” she murmured, and then he was kissing her again, worshipping her mouth as his hands moved over her with possessive tenderness. 
He wrenched himself away after only a moment. “Not here,” he rasped when she moaned a protest. “The third exchange is sacred and I’ll be damned if we’re going to do this on a couch. I can control myself long enough to get you to the bed and make this what you deserve.”
Renee laughed in pure joy. He didn’t realize it, but he had challenged her again. Even as he lifted her in his arms, her mouth found the strong column of his throat, her tongue caressing his pounding pulse before scraping her teeth over the sensitive skin. His heart leapt against her breast. Her hands were busy pulling at his shirt, needing to feel his skin. With a little growl of impatience, she slipped one lengthened fingernail beneath his collar, slashing straight through the material and exposing his gorgeous chest to her caresses.
Eli groaned when she trailed a line of hot kisses across his skin. Suddenly Renee found herself pinned against the wall, caught between cold stone and his hot body, as he kissed her as though he wanted to devour her. She shoved at the offending material still clinging to his shoulders, raking her nails over his skin. His kiss grew more desperate when she wrapped her legs around his hips. She couldn’t resist shifting against him, a glorious friction that made them both moan.
He tore his mouth from hers. “You’re trying to make me lose my mind,” he groaned, but his hands cupped her rounded bottom to pull her more fully against his erection. She rewarded him with a long, slow wiggle that made his entire body shake and she reveled in her power over him.
“Glad you noticed,” she teased, finding one flat nipple with her mouth and swirling her tongue over it. He tightened his hold on her with a low hiss of pleasure and she smiled in pure feminine satisfaction. “How am I doing?”
“By the stars, woman, I want this to be perfect for you, not some wild tumble in the hall!”
She nuzzled her way to the other side of his chest, one hand slipping into the back pocket of his jeans and squeezing while the other slid between them to unbutton her blouse. “I don’t care where we are,” she whispered against his skin. “If you’re with me, it’s perfect.”
With a low oath, he pulled away from the wall and turned toward his bedroom again. Renee gave a sultry laugh and pressed her now-bare breasts against his chest as she reached down and unfastened the top button of his jeans with a flick of her fingers. Her fingertip dipped just beneath the denim, teasing his sensitive skin. “You’re obsessed with the bedroom,” she observed as he swore again and increased his pace.
“Only if you’re in it with me,” he shot back.
She heard a door crash open, felt the world spinning for a brief moment, and then she was flat on her back on a soft mattress with Eli looming over her while he claimed her mouth in a fiery kiss. She moaned with pleasure and gave herself up to his passion as he kissed her again and again, long, drugging kisses that inflamed every nerve in her body. 
Suddenly he caught her wrists and pinned them above her head with one hand, leaving her stretched out before him like a pagan sacrifice. He broke away from her mouth and gave her a smile of pure, wicked seduction. “You have no idea how much I love the sight of you naked in my bed. I’ve dreamed of kissing every inch of your skin, little one, tying you to my bed and making you scream with pleasure. Tonight’s a night for fantasies. Are you ready to live a few of mine?”
She felt the impact of his sexy voice in a wave of heat and barely bit back a moan. “I want to touch you,” she breathed, devouring his gorgeous bare body with her gaze. She couldn’t remember when the rest of their clothing had disappeared. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting her hands on him as soon as possible. “Let me touch you, Eli.”
He drew her lower lip into his mouth for a bare instant, pulling back when she opened her mouth for a deeper kiss. “You will,” he assured her as his lips traced a fiery path down her throat. “But now it’s my turn to make you crazy.”
His voice alone was enough to send hot desire shooting through her body. His hands slipped down her arms in a long caress before sliding along her ribs. She tried to reach for him, thinking her hands would be free now, but her wrists were still fastened to the bed. He raised his gaze to hers with a grin so sexy it should have come with a warning label. “My turn,” he repeated before pressing his open mouth against her belly.
Renee moaned, her back arching. His hands spanned her waist to hold her still for his pleasure. His tongue flicked over her skin, moving slowly up to tease the underside of her breasts, then shifting to stroke a hot path along her hip. He circled her nipples without touching them, nipped her inner thigh but refused to move higher no matter how she moved or wiggled. She never knew where to expect his mouth next and the anticipation was excruciating. His hair slid over her skin in a silken caress that made her ache for more.
 “Eli!” she moaned desperately. 
His hands slid up to cup her breasts. “I love the way you say my name,” he murmured, the intensity of his voice making her shiver. His teeth scraped her collarbone, sharp and thrilling. “It makes me want to do all kinds of things to make you say it again and again.” His thumbs brushed her nipples once, the light touch driving the breath from her lungs. He chuckled low against her throat. “Hmm, I think you liked that,” he teased, doing it again.
She whimpered with pleasure, afraid she’d go up in flames if he didn’t do something to quench this fire soon.
His mouth traced the curve of her breast. “I wonder what wonderful sounds you would make if I did that with my tongue,” he mused, his breath teasing her nipple.
“Please,” she whispered, her body a molten pool of desire. Dear Lord, it was a fantasy, one of the hottest kind, and she was loving every second of it. “You’re killing me!”
He laughed again, the low vibration seeming to reach hidden nerve endings and stroke them. “We can’t have that,” he murmured an instant before drawing the taut peak into his mouth. She cried out with sheer pleasure as his tongue flicked her sensitive flesh. His teeth nipped gently and she writhed beneath him, pulling at her invisible bonds, but he wouldn’t be hurried. He took his time tasting her, sending sizzling electricity arcing through her entire body. His hand slowly caressed her other breast, her nipple hard and aching in his palm, begging for his attention. She made a small sound of protest when his mouth left her skin only to cry out again when he found her other nipple to subject it to the same sensual torture. 
“Such sweetness,” he whispered against her skin. His tongue flicked, circled, teased. 
His knee pressed between hers and she opened to him without hesitation, whimpering when his hand slid slowly up the sensitive skin of her thigh. His fingers reached the triangle of tight curls and teased mercilessly, never quite touching her where she burned no matter how she shifted her hips. “I wonder,” he said, leaving his feasting to look down at her with burning intensity, “do you taste this sweet everywhere?”
She gasped at the vivid mental image his words conjured. If his mouth touched her there, she wasn’t sure she would survive it. Still his fingers teased her, caressing and stroking, his dark eyes alive as he watched her pleasure. One finger suddenly slipped inside her and she thought she would lose her mind. “Eli!” she cried.
“Shall I taste you and find out?” he asked, his voice low and sexy. It sent another wave of pleasure shooting through her veins. His fingers dipped and caressed again. “Answer me, baby. Do you want my mouth on you?”
She knew he wouldn’t move unless she asked him. “Yes,” she moaned, unable to think of anything she wanted more. She saw the surge of triumphant satisfaction in his eyes before he lowered his head to kiss a hot path down her body. Every muscle clenched in anticipation, her body wound so tight she wanted to scream.
At the first touch of his tongue, her orgasm ripped through her, intense and raw. His mouth fastened on her and suddenly her hands were free but all she could do was tangle her fingers in his hair as he drove her back to the peak again and again, relentless in his assault on her senses. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel anything but Eli, and she never wanted it to end.
Suddenly he moved, crawling up her body like the predator he was until his erection pressed between her thighs. “I could eat you alive,” he growled in her ear just before filling her with one hard thrust and sinking his fangs deep as he linked with her mind, taking her in every way.
She moaned, wrapping her legs around him as sheer erotic fire blazed through her. Her fangs lengthened as her mouth caressed his shoulder but she deliberately prolonged the moment, feeling him throbbing inside her as she ran her tongue over his skin. 
Please, baby, his desperate murmur echoed in her mind.
She scraped his skin with her fangs, nipping him without drawing blood. His groan sounded torn from his soul and he thrust faster, driving her higher and higher until she could no longer resist the siren song of his pulse beneath her lips. Their cries of ecstasy mingled as her fangs pierced his skin.
It was beyond anything she had ever imagined, beyond even the other exchanges. Their minds merged seamlessly. She felt the slick tightness of her body around him as he took her, felt the sharp sting of her fingernails digging into his back as she came again. Every emotion that had flooded her mind earlier returned but a thousand times stronger, overwhelming, driving every thought from her head. For an instant, they were one being, bound in body and blood and heart and soul, and she felt his wonder and awe merge with her own even as rapture claimed them both.
“Sweet Luna,” Eli breathed long minutes after it was over when he had breath to speak again. He buried his face in her hair, his entire body shaking. “I had no idea.”
She smiled against his shoulder, every cell quivering with the aftermath of this incredible pleasure. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined such an experience. “Is it done?” she whispered, but in her heart she already knew. It was impossible to share such a thing and not be changed forever.
He held her tight against him and laughed with pure joy. “Yes, it’s done. You’re mine, and I’m yours.” He caught her left hand and lifted it to his mouth, kissing every line of the dark band now encircling her wrist. 
Shivers ran through her body and pooled low in her belly as Renee looked at the new mark on her arm. Elegant, intricate spirals and swirls encircled her arm a couple of inches above her wrist. She turned it slowly to find a stylized sun and moon entwined on her inner arm. She smiled, knowing only the two of them would ever know what that symbol truly meant. “It’s beautiful,” she murmured, unable to tear her gaze from it.
He smiled and kissed her softly. “You’re beautiful.”
She took his arm and traced the matching mark on his skin with a gentle fingertip. His mouth slipped down her throat, sending a shiver through her as his free hand caressed her skin gently. She laughed a little breathlessly even as her body kindled again. “And you said I was insatiable,” she teased. “You can’t seriously want more!”
He laughed against her skin and pulled his left hand from her grasp to cup her breast. “I am going to make love to you all night,” he said, his voice rumbling through her entire body. He raised his head and gave her that sexy grin she adored. “Over and over until we both collapse from exhaustion, and a few more times afterward. Brace yourself, baby, because I haven’t even gotten started yet.”
She bit her lip as heat spread through her again but she couldn’t stop herself from grinning back at him. “We will have to leave the bed at some point, you know,” she pointed out even as she ran her toes up the back of his calf. “Or are you planning on never feeding again?”
His kiss was pure seduction. When he pulled away to nibble at her ear she moaned in protest. “That’s the best part about ambrosia. We won’t need to feed again for days, and even then I may never let you leave the bed ever again.”
She laughed despite the thrill his words sent down her spine. “And just how will I feed then?” she teased. “Because I have to tell you, bagged blood is out. That stuff is nasty.”
His mouth was pure magic on her skin, distracting her utterly. “I’ll feed you myself, love. You can’t turn without killing and you can’t kill me. And you certainly won’t be going out hunting. I can’t imagine allowing you to put yourself in danger ever again.”
Renee’s eyebrows shot up and she pulled back to gape at him in astonishment. “Excuse me?” she sputtered in outrage, shock cooling her desire. “Where did all these rules come from? And what’s this allow business?”
He flashed his sexy smile again, clearly hoping to get himself out of trouble. She raised an eyebrow and he sighed, knowing it hadn’t worked. “Can I pull rank on you?” he asked, eyes twinkling with humor. “The decrees of the gods are supposed to be obeyed, you know.”
She couldn’t help laughing at his hopeful tone but shook her head. “You try to pull rank, mister, and see where it gets you,” she threatened. “And I’m warning you right now, decrees are completely out of the question. Gods can still sleep on the couch.”
Eli rested his forehead against hers. “I don’t think I could stand it if you were hurt again,” he admitted, all teasing gone from his voice. “You have taught me the meaning of terror, little one. I have to keep you safe.”
She stroked his back, hearing the fear in his voice as he remembered how close she had come to dying. “I have a suggestion. Instead of trying to keep me away from everyone and everything—which is not going to happen—why not teach me to hunt the Outcasts, too? I’ll help you. I can join your League and—”
“Absolutely not!” 
She rolled her eyes at him. “You’re doing it again. That was definitely a decree. I thought I told you about decrees.”
Eli closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her. “You’re killing me, baby,” he groaned. “I don’t think I’m capable of letting you go anywhere near an Outcast ever again. The mere thought is enough to give me gray hair.”
She laughed and tugged at his silver locks. “Hate to break it to you, but someone already beat me to it.”
He rolled onto his back and draped her across his body. She crossed her forearms on his chest and brushed her lips across his, but his eyes were still dark with worry when she pulled away. “It wouldn’t help me to have you hunting the Outcasts with me,” Eli told her, his voice very serious. “I know you think it would, but I would be thinking of your safety instead of the battle. My attention would be divided and that would be dangerous to both of us. Please don’t ask this of me. I would give you anything, but I can’t put you in danger.” His palm caressed her cheek. “I can’t,” he whispered. “You have no idea what it would do to me to lose you, Renee. You have to be safe.”
Renee blinked rapidly to hide the sudden burning of her eyes. “And how do you think I’ll feel knowing you’re out there fighting alone?”
He traced her lips with a fingertip. “You have no need to worry for me, love. I can’t die. You know it’s true. Nothing anyone in this world can do to me would kill me. I will always come home to you.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “Your immortality is just a shadow of mine,” he whispered in her ear. “You almost died tonight. You will never age, and you will heal quickly, but you can die, and I would be unable to follow you.”
She sighed and rested her cheek over his heart, listening to it pounding out a rapid rhythm which spoke of his fears far more eloquently than any words. His concern for her warmed her all the way to her soul. She kissed his skin lightly. “All right, Eli,” she murmured, snuggling against him. “I have no problem with the idea of never feeding from anyone besides you and I won’t ask you to let me fight with you. But I won’t be locked indoors like some concubine in a harem either.”
His unexpected laughter warmed the room, easing the tension. “You are not a concubine, Renee, you are my bondmate. And I shudder to think what you would do to me should I ever use the term ‘harem’ in your presence!”
She raised her head to grin at him, embracing the lighter mood. “You should shudder,” she agreed. “I’m sure I could find some way to murder you should the thought even cross your mind.”
He groaned. “So it’s true. No sooner does a man take a wife than she starts plotting his demise. I’ve heard it, but I never believed it until now.”
Renee gasped in outrage and punched his shoulder, but her laughter betrayed her. “You know, I’m not your wife until you marry me. Are you proposing?”
He rolled suddenly and she yelped in surprise to find him suddenly looming over her. “I just married you, you silly woman. You are most definitely my wife. What do you think bonding is?”
She bit her lip and pretended to consider his words. Then she grinned up at him mischievously. “Well, as I think about it, I notice some distinct advantages to this form of marriage,” she told him. “This way, I never had to promise to ‘honor and obey’ you. Yes, this is definitely a good system. Did you come up with it all by yourself?”
He groaned again. “You call that an advantage? There’s no way I would have invented such a thing. I think it’s a definite drawback.” He nibbled at her lips. “Especially since you won’t let me issue decrees,” he added.
She laughed and buried her fingers in his hair. “Poor baby,” she murmured, not sounding the least bit sympathetic, before leaning up to capture his lips in a passionate kiss. 
His response was instantaneous as he quickly took control of the kiss, stealing her breath and replacing it with his own. She rubbed against him like a cat begging for caresses and he was more than happy to oblige. “Your prohibition on decrees didn’t extend to the one where I keep you in bed all night making love to you, did it?” he asked, pulling back to grin down at her, his eyes flashing with desire.
She tightened her arms around him and pulled him back to her. “I’ll let that one slide. But don’t let it go to your head.”
Chapter Sixteen
Caen moved through the night, following the blood trail across the city as his mind worked rapidly. 
This opportunity was far too good to pass up.
He smiled to himself as he turned a corner and found another scattered spray of droplets. He couldn’t have made this turn out better had he tried. This fledgling he’d created out of desperation was proving more useful with every passing night.
He’d been hunting, seeking another human to drain as the afternoon light started to sting, when he’d found the evidence of the battle his fledgling had fought and lost. The blood was at least twelve hours old now but Caen’s senses were sharp and he had no trouble deciphering the new gift the fledgling had offered him.
The Slayer’s claim shimmered in her blood, a bond begun but not completed. Caen’s smile broadened. What a wonderful weakness!
He came to the demolished building at sunset and cautiously approached. He hadn’t lived this long by being rash. When he glanced through the sign-covered fence, he frowned in confusion at the sight that met his eyes. Four slain Outcasts lay scattered on the ground—men Caen knew, men who were no strangers to battle. Even as he watched they were decaying to nothing as the sunlight shifted, moving them out of the shadows which had apparently shielded their bodies all day. Two smears of ash darkened the ground nearby. The Slayer stood out in the open, pressed against a wall, unmoving despite the last rays of sunlight falling directly on him. 
This made no sense. Outcasts burning in the sun and a Slayer enduring it unharmed? 
Then he dismissed the question. It didn’t matter to him how the Slayer had accomplished his feat or what had happened to the others. All that mattered now was the opportunity. He fingered the crossbow he’d selected for the night’s games and smiled again. He wouldn’t even have to get close to finish this. The Slayer’s pain and desperate hunger filled the air like a sweet perfume and Caen took a moment to savor his enemy’s suffering as the sun dipped below the horizon. He might not even have to use the fledgling.
He raised the crossbow and sighted carefully down it. 
Suddenly the Slayer moved. Caen froze, standing motionless in the shadows as he heard the fledgling’s voice urging the Slayer to feed. Caen frowned. This wasn’t what he wanted at all. He wanted the Slayer weak and helpless when he died, not filled with new strength. He’d battled this one enough to know how dangerous he was. He raised the crossbow but again he hesitated.
Wouldn’t it be even sweeter to kill the Slayer when he was at full strength? There was no way the Slayer could react quickly enough to reach him before he fired no matter how good he was. Caen smiled and lowered the crossbow slightly. Yes, let the Slayer feed and renew himself. Then he would feel the full measure of his defeat as he died. 
Caen watched as the Slayer fed voraciously and his glee grew by the second. Even from this distance, Caen felt the fledgling’s weakness, but the fool wasn’t stopping. He saw her caress the Slayer’s hair as he drained her mercilessly. Caen could hardly keep from laughing out loud when he fell to his knees with her, taking still more and not even seeming to notice when she passed out from blood loss. He was glad he hadn’t used the crossbow when he’d had the chance as he watched the Slayer brutally attack his own mate. Oh, yes, this was too good to miss. It wasn’t every night he got to watch a Slayer destroy himself!
At the last possible instant, the Slayer broke away. Caen’s grin broadened as he watched the Slayer’s horror at what he had done to his woman. Not so self-righteous now, are you? he thought. You’re merely another killer now, just like the rest of us. A sudden vicious thunderstorm shattered the night but Caen didn’t move, savoring every instant of this triumph over his persistent hunter.
The storm abruptly died. Caen cursed as he felt the faint pulse of life from the fledgling. It would’ve been marvelous indeed to witness the Slayer’s complete and utter downfall, but at least she wouldn’t last the night. 
The Slayer’s desperation reached him in waves of emotion, sweet in its own right. Caen raised the crossbow for the last time as the Slayer slashed his own throat, desperately trying to revive the dying woman in his arms, and he gloried in the other man’s grief.
Before he fired the bolt, though, there was a sudden scream of tires. Instinctively Caen ducked down, plastering himself to the ground and wishing he’d taken the time to find a more concealed spot. A car and a motorcycle roared past him and plowed through the fence not four yards from where he lay.
Caen snarled another curse as two other Slayers ran into the shadows. He’d missed his chance. He couldn’t hope to take out all three of them, not even with the crossbow and the element of surprise on his side. If he tried to kill the Slayer now he would guarantee his own death tonight. 
There will be other chances, he consoled himself as he melted into the shadows. They will save the fledgling, and I will use her again.
Yes, his time would come. Caen smiled again as he ran down the side street away from the Slayer and his own unexpectedly useful fledgling. This Slayer was powerful, but he had finally revealed a weakness.
And she was a weakness Caen owned. He fully intended to take advantage of it.
 
* * *
 
The ringing of a cell phone jolted Renee out of a dead sleep.
Renee yawned and blinked, looking around the room in confusion before tracking the ringing to its source. She dug the phone out of the pocket of Eli’s discarded jeans and flipped it open. “Hello?”
“Hey, girl, I didn’t expect you to answer but it saves me the trouble of asking for you. How are you feeling?”
“Sian?”
She laughed. “Yes, it’s Sian. How many women do you think have access to Eli’s cell phone number?”
Renee glanced back at the bed where Eli still slept and she smiled a little at the sight of his gorgeous body relaxed in slumber, wearing nothing more than the dark bondmark on his arm. “You’d better be the only one or he’s got some major explaining to do,” she replied softly as she quietly left the bedroom, not wanting to disturb him.
Sian sighed in unmistakable relief. “So everything worked out all right with you two?”
The question surprised her. “Better than all right. Why wouldn’t it be?”
There was a brief silence. “Never mind,” Sian replied at last. “Look, I was calling to invite you on a shopping trip. Diego hates going with me but I stink at shopping and I have to get an extra opinion before I can buy anything. Do you think Eli will let you out of his sight for an evening?”
Renee thought about it as she walked down the hall to her old bedroom to grab a set of clothes. She bit her lip, her independent nature warring with the fear she’d seen in Eli’s eyes at the thought of her being in danger again. She didn’t want him to worry. 
Still, how much danger could there possibly be in a shopping trip? Surely he wouldn’t have a problem with that. “When and where do you want to meet up?” 
“Don’t you want to make sure Eli’s cool with it first?”
Renee made a face at the phone. “Eli isn’t my keeper, Sian.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, although Diego would love it if I would ask permission from him whenever I decide to do something. I just meant—well, these guys can get a little paranoid, and you were pretty bad off last night. We honestly didn’t think you were going to make it. I wouldn’t be surprised if Eli’s super-protective right now.”
She laughed, remembering how he’d wanted to confine her to the bed for the rest of eternity. “Yeah, that’s the understatement of the century, but I’m sure he won’t have a problem with me going shopping. Now, where do you want to meet up?”
“How about you meet me over here in an hour? I promise to keep Diego in line,” she added when Renee hesitated. 
“Deal,” Renee agreed before hanging up.
Half an hour later she was showered, dressed, and ready to go. She slipped back into Eli’s room and found him still sleeping. She sat on the edge of the bed and kissed him softly. “Wake up, sleepy head,” she murmured.
He didn’t move. Renee smiled and brushed his hair back from his forehead. “Come on, Eli, rise and shine,” she tried again, but he slept on, oblivious. 
She sighed. She didn’t want him to wake up and find her gone without a word but she knew how tired he must be after all they had been through. He deserved a chance to rest, especially following the incredible night they’d just shared. He hadn’t been lying when he told her he’d intended to make love to her all night. Renee shivered at the memory as she went to the den and found a pen and paper, quickly scratching out a note before returning to the bedroom.
She rolled the note into a little scroll and slipped it beneath his hand with the cell phone and couldn’t resist tracing the lines of the mark around his wrist. It was incredible that this amazing man was truly hers. “Sleep well,” she whispered, brushing one more kiss over his lips before leaving the room.
Sian ran to the door as soon as she heard the doorbell ring and threw it open. “Renee, come in!”
Diego strode angrily into the entry hall right on her heels. “Dios, querida, how many times do I have to tell you to let James get the door?” he demanded, stalking straight past the women and slamming it behind him before turning to glare at Sian. “You don’t scan, you don’t even use the damn peephole. How do you know what’s out there? An Outcast could walk straight up to our door and you would let them in!”
Renee shifted uncomfortably. Diego glanced at her and shut his mouth with an audible snap. Sian linked her arm through his and smiled at Renee. “Yup, that’s my caveman.” 
Diego flushed a little. “You know I didn’t mean her,” he muttered.
Sian laughed and after a moment Renee did too. “No worries,” Renee said, forcing a light tone to hide how much Diego still intimidated her. 
He nodded stiffly, then glanced around the hall. “Where’s Eli?”
“Probably still sleeping.”
Diego gaped at her. “You didn’t wake him up and tell him you were leaving?”
Oh, this was too good to pass up. She smiled at him, the picture of innocence as she deliberately wound him up. “Why, do you think I should have?” She well remembered his reaction the first time he’d seen Sian near her and could just imagine how he would react if he woke and she was gone.
The look on his face was priceless. If Renee had told him Eli had been having kittens when she’d left, Diego couldn’t have looked more dismayed. He looked back at the front door as though expecting Eli to come bursting through it. 
“Oh, this is really, really not good,” Diego groaned. 
She grinned. “Don’t look so worried. I left him a note. He knows where I’m going.”
Diego shook his head and blocked the door. “I don’t think so. You’re not going anywhere.” 
Sian laughed at his stern pose. “This is great! Since you seem determined to keep Renee here until Eli comes, that must mean you’re going shopping with me. Right?”
He looked like he was being offered a choice between being drawn and quartered or being boiled in oil. “Sian…”
“Excuse me,” Renee interrupted. “I don’t recall agreeing to be kept anywhere.”
Diego looked at her like she was insane. “I don’t recall asking you to agree.”
Sian glanced at Renee’s face and stepped between them before things escalated further. “Diego, it’s all right. It’s not like we’re planning on raiding the back alleys of the worst parts of town, we’re going to the mall. She’ll be perfectly fine.” She took his hand and laced her fingers through his. “You thought it was safe enough when I told you I was going,” she added persuasively.
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s because you always get me to agree to crazy things against my better judgment,” he replied, but his tone said his resolve to keep them there was weakening. Sian didn’t say anything else, but after a moment Diego sighed again. “Oh, all right, fine. I just hope you appreciate this when Eli gets here and breaks both my arms for letting his mate leave without a chaperone.”
Sian looked outraged. “What am I, chopped liver?”
He hung his head. “I’m not going to win this, am I?”
She laughed and kissed him before turning back to Renee. “Ready?”
Renee nodded fervently. She was more than ready to get away from Diego. With his black goatee and those wicked green eyes, Diego looked like the devil incarnate. She couldn’t imagine how Sian lived with a man as dark and forbidding as him.
Then she laughed silently at her thoughts. Eli wasn’t exactly a pussycat himself. 
She followed Sian through the house to the garage and whistled low in appreciation when she unlocked a cherry red Ferrari. 
“Let’s get out of here before he changes his mind,” Sian said, getting in and snapping her seatbelt.
The trip across town to the mall took about half the time it should have. Renee was afraid her fingers would be permanently embedded in the dash by the time Sian skidded to a stop in the parking lot. 
“Good Lord, Sian,” Renee breathed, forcing her cramped hands to unlock and unbuckling her belt with shaking fingers, “if I’d known you drove like this, I would’ve stayed with Diego!”
Sian laughed. “Chicken.” She reached into the glove compartment as Renee grabbed her purse and Renee’s eyes widened when she pulled out a wicked looking little pistol. “Pays to be prepared,” she said lightly before she caught the look on Renee’s face. “Oh, don’t worry. I have a permit to carry concealed. I was a cop before I was a Slayer, you know.”
“No, I didn’t know,” Renee managed, watching Sian tuck the holster into the back of her jeans. “Either one, actually. You were a cop and now you’re a Slayer?” It was hard to imagine Diego allowing such a thing. She’d witnessed his protectiveness of Sian firsthand.
Sian nodded. “Nine years on the force before I witnessed a murder and had to go into Witness Protection,” she replied as they got out. “That’s how I met Diego, in fact, although Eli had more than a little to do with us getting together.”
Renee grinned at Sian’s tone. “I sense a very interesting story here.”
“You don’t want to know what I thought about that man of yours a few months ago. He tends to do what he thinks is right and ignore anyone who thinks otherwise.” She caught Renee’s look out of the corner of her eye and grinned. “Okay, he was right in this case. But I think hell will freeze over before Diego admits it.”
Renee laughed and Sian paused as they approached the mall entrance, turning to her. “Look, tell me if I’m out of line,” Sian said in an uncharacteristically hesitant tone. She reached for Renee’s left arm. “May I?”
Renee nodded and Sian pushed up the sleeve of her sweater to reveal the new bondmark encircling her arm. She touched it with a fingertip and glanced up at Renee, her blue eyes dark with worry. “Is this what you wanted?”
“More than anything. Why do you ask?”
Sian shrugged. “I know how it is to be a fledgling,” she said gently, making sure no one overheard. “It can be overwhelming—and Eli can be overwhelming, to say the least. I want to be sure you knew what you were getting into.” She shrugged again, releasing Renee’s arm and shoving her hands in her pockets. “Diego said not to interfere, but I could tell you didn’t know what was going on when he took you home last night. And I know from experience that Eli doesn’t let anything stop him when he’s set on something.”
Her concern touched Renee to the heart. “You’re right, I didn’t know. But even though I didn’t know what bonding was, I knew I wanted to be with him. He told me everything before we—before the third exchange.” She blushed a little at the erotic memory. “He didn’t trick me into it, I promise. It was my choice.” 
“And you’re honestly all right?”
Sian’s concern warmed her and Renee smiled. “I’m wonderful. I couldn’t be happier.” She reached out and squeezed Sian’s arm. “Thanks for caring, in spite of what I am,” she added quietly, aware of the people around them. 
Sian blushed a little and shrugged. “What you are is a person who got caught up in something she didn’t expect. Nothing more, nothing less. Believe me, it’s a feeling I’m more than familiar with.”
Renee hugged her and pulled her toward the door. “This life isn’t anything I ever imagined, but now I can’t imagine going back to the way I was,” she said. Then she smiled and nodded at the mall. “Now enough mushy stuff. Shopping beckons. What are you looking for?”
Sian’s blush deepened. “Maternity clothes.”
Renee gaped at her. “You’re can’t mean—you’re—”
Sian laughed. “Yep,” she said, suddenly grinning from ear to ear. “And happy as hell about it. Now wipe the shock off your face and let’s get cracking. I think we only have a couple of hours before the shops close at ten, and I need everything.”
“I didn’t know va—” Renee cut the word off, glancing around. “I mean, I didn’t know anyone was born that way.”
“Not many are,” Sian agreed. “It’s very rare. Only dhampyrs—half and half, like me—or a few ‘high-blood’ lines can have children.” She glanced at Renee as she steered her toward a large department store. “Diego was born, not made. That’s why Eli was dead set on getting him a mate when his older brother died without children.”
Renee blinked, following blindly. “Eli made you and Diego get together?”
Sian laughed. “Sure did, despite the fact that I wasn’t like them and neither of us wanted it. He snapped his fingers and poof! The bands appeared and we were mated, even though it should have been impossible.”
“Wow.” Renee knew exactly why Eli could do such a thing, but she was still shocked he actually had. “I think I can understand why you’d be a little ticked at him.”
“Ticked ain’t the word, hon. I shot him.” Sian stopped before a rack of clothes and pulled out a blouse. She made a face. “Ick. Looks like a tent.” 
“Wait, hold on a second here.” Renee gaped at Sian. “You shot Eli?”
“Sure did. Diego was pretty mad when he found out about it, but Eli thought it was funny.” She gave Renee a look. “May God give you patience, Renee, ‘cuz that man has a damn strange sense of humor.”
Renee laughed. “Yes, he certainly does,” she agreed. “And I love him.” She nodded at the blouse. “It doesn’t look like a tent. It’s cute.”
Sian put it back at once. “If there’s one thing I’m not and never want to be, it’s cute.”
Despite Sian’s reluctance, they managed to put a rather impressive dent in Diego’s credit card as the evening wore on. Fifteen minutes before the mall closed, Renee dragged a protesting Sian into a lingerie shop. “I’m gonna look like a whale and you’re making me look at this stuff?” Sian cried, waving a hand at the racks of tiny teddies and thongs and sending her shopping bags in a precarious arc. “No way, girl. He’d take one look and laugh!”
Renee shook her head. “He’ll take one look and drool,” she shot back. “You’re pregnant. It doesn’t make you a nun. Yes, your belly is going to grow, but the way I see it you can either go out and get some granny panties that come up to your chin, or you can get some of these—” she held up a pair of red silk bikinis, “—and remind him how you got this way.”
The saleslady laughed as Sian’s face reddened until it almost matched the panties Renee held. “She’s got a point,” she agreed. “And I’ve got a great matching bra for those, too. Your man will love it, that’s a guarantee.”
Sian glanced down at her chest and made a face. “I’m not even sure what size to get anymore,” she complained. “They just keep growing.”
Renee laughed again. “Then get a couple in increasing sizes,” she advised. She caught Sian’s doubtful look and grinned. “Listen to me, girl. Do you honestly think Diego is going to complain that your breasts are getting bigger?”
Sian covered her face with her hands. “All right, all right!” she cried. “Anything to stop you two from talking about it. What is it with strangers and my underwear, anyway? Pick something out and I’ll buy it if it will end this conversation!”
“That’s the spirit!” Renee rubbed her hands together with an evil grin as she looked over the assortment of naughty undergarments.
“You know,” the saleslady piped up as Renee started piling bras and panties on the counter, “we have some very sensual nighties in plus sizes. I know a lot of women who wear them when they’re pregnant and I haven’t heard a complaint yet.” 
“Great idea.” Renee added a couple to the growing pile.
Sian finally stepped to the counter and brandished the credit card. “Enough, enough! This is more than I’ll ever wear.” She glanced back at Renee as the saleslady rang up her purchases. “Aren’t you getting something?”
Renee felt her cheeks heat. “I hadn’t thought about it.”
Sian laughed. “Oh, and now she blushes!” she teased. “Come on, you have to get something, too. You’re a newlywed. Get something that’ll make Eli lose his mind.” She glanced around before spying a burgundy velvet and leather merry widow with a matching g-string. “That.” 
Renee laughed out loud as she looked at it. She had never in her life worn anything like that. “Oh, I don’t think so. Besides, we’re shopping for you, remember?”
“We’re done shopping for me and there’s still—” she checked her watch, “—five minutes until close. We’re shopping for you now and I’m telling you, get that thing or I’ll make you sorry.”
Renee lifted it off the rack and glanced at the tag. It was even her size. Her temperature climbed about a hundred degrees at the thought of wearing it for Eli but she still hesitated. “G-strings are uncomfortable,” she protested again, touching the velvet trim with a fingertip.
“Honey, you won’t be wearing it long enough to get uncomfortable,” the saleslady chimed in.
Sian grinned. “Ring it up. I’m getting it for her.” Renee made another half-hearted protest as the saleslady took it from her hands and Sian laughed. “I need you to keep Eli busy enough that he doesn’t even think about meddling in my life anymore,” she added. “That should be a good start!”
They walked out to Sian’s car a few minutes later, laden with bags. Renee couldn’t remember when she’d had a better time shopping. She normally hated it with a passion. “This was so much fun. Thanks for the invite. I’ll shop with you anytime.”
Sian hit the trunk release button on her keyring and dumped her bags inside. “It’s a deal. Diego sure won’t come with me, and it’s no fun at all with James.”
“Maybe if you took Diego to the lingerie shop, he’d see things diff—”
Renee’s voice died in mid-sentence as a shattering pain split her head. She dropped the bags she carried, pressing her hands to her temples as though it’d help her squeeze out the invading presence. 
There you are, little girl. I’ve been looking for you. And who is this lovely young thing with you?
Panic shot through her. “Get in the car!” Renee managed through gritted teeth, each word a burst of agony as she fought to throw off the horribly familiar hold seeping through her mind. She couldn’t let anything happen to Sian and her baby! Her knees went weak and she crumpled to the pavement, struggling with everything in her.
Sian ran to her with her gun already in hand, ignoring her warning as she intently searched the shadows. “What do you sense?” she demanded, all traces of teasing gone. Renee clearly saw both the Slayer and the cop in her at that moment. “Where is it?”
“Outcast,” Renee gasped. The memory of the Outcast forcing her to do his bidding in the alley seared her and she recoiled from Sian when the other woman bent closer. “Get away from me!”
Very noble, the Outcast laughed in her mind. But you can’t save her. Why don’t you take her gun away and shoot her for me?
Renee’s hand shot toward the gun at his command and she fought against it with all her might. Her fingers trembled in midair a few inches from Sian’s wrist. 
“Go!” she cried, forcing a compulsion into her words despite the pain. Why had she left without Eli when she’d known her true sire was still out there, waiting for her?
Suddenly a warm hand closed around hers, pulling it away from Sian’s gun as a strong arm wrapped around her to draw her against her mate’s hard chest. Peace swept through her and the pain receded before it. Renee almost collapsed with relief at the blessedly familiar touch. 
“Easy, little one,” Eli murmured in her ear. “Diego called me the minute you left his house. You were never alone.” 
Then he looked up at Sian, who was still holding her gun in a two-handed grip and searching the night for a target. “Get in the car and go home to Diego,” Eli ordered, shrugging off his long duster and wrapping it around Renee. His swords glinted in the dim parking lot lights, but he didn’t care who saw them. “You’re in no condition to—”
“I don’t take orders from you,” Sian snapped, still scanning the lot. “I’m a Slayer too, in case you’ve forgotten. You go do your thing. I’ll stay with Renee.” 
Eli didn’t take the time to argue. He brushed a kiss over Renee’s forehead and helped her to lean against the car before standing and drawing his swords in one graceful movement, a predator preparing to defend his mate.
 “Come out, coward,” he called, letting his derision echo in the challenge. “Or are you afraid to face me without a woman between us?”
Caen ground his teeth in fury. Why hadn’t he sensed the Slayer following the women through the crowded mall? This one was powerful, but Caen was no fledgling himself. He’d been hunting for more than two thousand years and was strong in his own right. He should have felt the Slayer’s presence!
The Slayer stood beside the women, a sword in each hand, and he took a deep breath of the chill air. “I smell your fear, Outcast,” he taunted. 
Caen focused his will and sent it shooting through the fledgling. Throw yourself on his swords!
He heard her moan but suddenly the Slayer was in her mind. Stay still, little one, he murmured to her, and Caen was horrified when she closed her eyes and didn’t move. 
You will obey me! he snapped furiously at her. I am your sire and my hold on you is the stronger!
The Slayer laughed again. “I am her bondmate,” he said to the night, as though certain Caen would hear him. “Do you honestly think your feeble blood tie has any chance against mine?”
Caen roared in rage. The damn Slayer had completed the bond and taken the fledgling from his control! He leapt down from the roof of the mall, aiming the crossbow at the traitorous fledgling’s heart even as he plummeted to the ground. If I can’t use you, I can still kill you! he screamed at her as he pulled the trigger and sent the bolt on its deadly course.
The Slayer spun in place and slashed down with one sword. There was a ringing impact and Caen shook with fury as the bolt ricocheted harmlessly away. 
The fledgling didn’t even flinch.
Gunshots shattered the night as the woman with them fired in his direction, tracking his roar and the course of the bolt. The Slayer’s head snapped his way and Caen ran as one of the bullets nicked his hip. He ignored the pain and kept a wary eye on his nemesis.
And suddenly, impossibly, the Slayer vanished.
Caen stumbled, certain his eyes had played a trick on him. No one could vanish. Vampires altered their form or flew or moved with inhuman speed, but they did not vanish. He didn’t dare look away, trying desperately to figure out the puzzle before it was too late.
He looked up just in time to see the Slayer shimmer out of nothing right in his path. Caen threw himself to the side, dropping the crossbow and narrowly avoiding the first vicious swing of those swords. He rolled and came up with his own sword in his hands even though he knew he had lost every advantage. “Damn you!” he shouted, charging in furiously.
The Slayer only smiled. “I am not the one who is damned.” 
He deflected Caen’s first flurry and slashed back with a vicious assault of his own. Caen parried with more difficulty than he liked, constantly looking for another opening.
Finding none.
“I am not the one who kills for the temporary pleasure of the sun on my face,” the Slayer went on in the same calm, emotionless voice, and Caen snarled at him. The bastard wasn’t even out of breath as he drove Caen back, forcing him closer to the building and cutting off his retreat. He swung down with all his might, hitting one of the Slayer’s swords right at the crosspiece, but he didn’t even seem to notice the blow which should have numbed his hand and forced him to drop the weapon.
“I am not the one who hides behind a woman,” the Slayer taunted, and suddenly the pace of his attacks sped up. Caen parried desperately but the blades found his flesh again and again, small wounds that weakened him as he bled and let him know the Slayer was just playing with him now. 
“You killed my Clan!” Caen growled, enraged by the Slayer’s calm while he methodically cut him again and again. 
“You attacked my mate,” the Slayer shot back, and now there was emotion in his voice. Fury. The promise of death shimmered in his black eyes. “She is my Clan, and three times now you have tried to kill her. Do you honestly think I would let you live?”
Caen never saw the final strike. A piercing agony stabbed through his chest. He looked down in disbelief at the Slayer’s sword buried in his flesh as his own dropped from his suddenly nerveless fingers. “No,” he whispered.
Eli planted his foot in the Outcast’s stomach and wrenched the sword free as Caen’s life bled away. He closed his eyes, unable to feel any triumph as he remembered Renee’s horror the last time she’d seen him kill. He wasn’t as emotionless as she’d thought that night. Every time he was forced to destroy another vampire, he ached. They were all his children, even the dark ones.
But then he heard Renee’s footstep behind him and felt her arm slide around his waist. “It’s all right,” she whispered, her other hand encircling his around the hilt of the sword and not flinching away from the blood staining the blade. “It’s over now, Eli. Let it go. He isn’t worth your pain.”
He turned and wrapped his arms around her, grateful beyond measure for her understanding. “I’m sorry you had to see me kill again, little one.” 
“Don’t be,” she replied at once. “You saved me. I love everything you are, Eli.”
He kissed her softly before looking up to find Sian watching them. “Are you all right?”
She shrugged and glared down at the gun still in her hand. “I think I need to get back to the firing range. My aim stinks. I didn’t even wing him and I was shooting to kill.”
“You winged him,” Eli reassured her. “And you shouldn’t have to kill.”
Sian narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t you dare go getting all macho on me like Diego. I still have several rounds left and you know I’ll use them.”
Renee raised her head and looked up at him. “You know if she shoots you again I’ll have to kill her, and Diego would probably get upset. How about laying off the machismo for a few minutes?”
Eli raised an eyebrow as Sian laughed. “Yeah, that could happen. The weather report said nothing about hell freezing over, Renee.” Then she grinned at Eli. “Before you whisk your woman away and lock her in the house, she bought a prime distraction you wouldn’t want her to forget.” She raised her hand and Eli’s eyebrows rose when Renee blushed scarlet at the sight of the bag hanging from Sian’s fingers. Eli reached for it but Renee snatched it first.
“Thank you, Sian,” Renee said, glaring and red-cheeked. 
Sian’s grin didn’t waver as she glanced back up at Eli. He held Renee close to his heart, swords still out, and if she saw how his hands shook at the close call, she didn’t comment on it. “She humanizes you a bit, you know. You needed it. Big time.”
He laughed in spite of himself. “Thank you, Sian.”
She holstered her gun and dusted off her hands. “My work here is done. Now I need to go shock Diego with the credit card bill. Later.”
Eli bent to nuzzle Renee’s ear as Sian walked back to her Ferrari with a wave. “I could use some distracting,” he said, remembering the last store he’d watched them go into and very much hoping the little bag held what he thought it did.
She clutched it closer but arched her neck, leaning in to his caress. “Take me home and I’ll see what I can do.”
Amelia Elias
To learn more about Amelia, please visit www.AmeliaElias.com. Send an email to AmeliaElias@gmail.com or join her Yahoo! group to join in the fun with other readers as well as Amelia! http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AmeliaEliasgroup.
 
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